To Fight the Coming Darkness

GLEE.

Pure, unadulterated glee.

I've read quite a few fics wherein Narcissa is redeemed through Harry becoming the head of the Black line, but you did it with style (and her letching on Charlie is just icing on the cake).

If you were here in person, I'd probably break one of your ribs from my hug of fangirl squee at this. Really.

One minor point for added realism: Galleon amounts. The Weasley's, who, while poor, somehow manage to send 5 children to Hogwarts at the same time, have trouble buying Ron a new wand for Hogwarts. The only wand we see sold in canon is Harry's which is 7 galleons. In this light, having the Black vault hold millions of galleons seems slightly absurd. A more realistic amount would be a million galleons total with extensive property and business holdings, which is where most moneyed families store their wealth.

Again, I must say sow much I am truly enjoying this reality-based version of the Potterverse!
Thanks so much!

Thanks.

I KNEW I'D FIND IT!!!

I've been looking for a story I started sometime ago and never finished but I rememebered Narcissa dragging Charlie off as a bodygaurd and thought it was one of the funniest things that I'd ever come across... And I finally found it!

On to the next chapter... and maybe I'll finish the story this time.

Glad you found it.~Jim

Interesting Narcissa!

She was a great character in this story.

Actually there is more than Riddle's diary and the DoM incident. Not much but there is more to go on. In fact in the way you have he lash out and attack Harry, you end up following the sterotype you mention as a peeve.
I do agree with you to an extent about Gringotts' vaults. If you base your premise on the muggle world than gold and jewelry (along with stocks, bonds, mutual funds, various types of important documents, etc.) would be about all. But that premise may be too narrow for the magical world. Why should a vault in the wizarding world be limited to what muggle banks are limited to? If I can put a whole room in a trunk why wouldn't I put a whole garage in my vault and store my antique car collection there (just an example). So why not an antique armory or a library of rare, expensive books -- just not the Potters (unless one has a credible reason why James and Lily didn't take advantage of it, perhaps the Potter will was in probate and James couldn't get things out).
Narcissa's escape is very creative and good. I like it (not much more to say about reading).
Sirius' portrait is interesting, but I wonder about it. Portraits certainly do talk (even interact with the real world as when Mrs. Black recognizes a mudblood -- or does she as she goes off about mudbloods with halfbloods as well, so maybe she's just got a standard rant for any stranger) in canon, and seem to bear a distinctive personality, but while they might store some measure of knowledge, could they really make changes (e.g. amendments and updates to the will) -- after all the person is dead. Verdict: creative but gimmicky.

Interesting criticisms.  Thanks for sharing.~Jim

Wow! I loved Narcissa Malfoy--err, Black. That was genius! Hehe...

I know there's plenty left to go on this story, but I figured I'd drop a review in anyways after how much amusement I got from Narcissa. Thanks for a great read!

Glad you liked it.  She and Charlie show up in the last third of the story to provide even more amusement.  Thanks for being my 800th review for this story on ffa.~Jim

Damn, dude. This is the first fic I've read that actually made me have a black moment. To be more specific, a "OH NO SHE DI'INT" when Ginny said that about him getting Sirius killed.

Also, Narcissa/Charlie interaction at the end was hilarious. XD

In a sense, I should have broken all the Narcissa/Charlie interaction (and there's plenty to come) off into a separate story.~Jim

That was awesome. I'm reading through now and would normaly reserve a review for the latest chapter....BUT THAT WAS PERFECT. Talk about a hit and run on Cissy's behalf!

Thank you.  Glad you enjoyed Cissy's character.  I think you'll be impressed by her when she makes a return appearance later in the story.~Jim

Oh wow...I love your Narcissa! I could just see Draco practicing in front of a mirror lol! Yea, I'm not a big fan of strong!Ginny either. so far I've agreed with all of your pet peeves. It's nice to see something different.
Also, poor Charlie!

Narcissa and Charlie take a long vacation, but they do come back to the story eventually.~Jim

Reading this through again, I find myself far fonder of Narcissa than I ever thought I could be. Not completely convinced of your interpretation of Ginny - I think nearly being killed by the spirit of the greatest Dark Lord of the 20th century who was possessing your body at the time is considered hardship - but then if she was too likeable we could hardly have a Harry / Susan romance. Excellent story thus far.

Agreed on the Ginny part, with romance only being a secondary focus of the story I wanted to make it easy by making Ginny not really that likeable.~Jim

Narcissa Black was a hoot!

I say let her keep Charlie.

Keep reading.  They'll turn up again eventually.~Jim

dude i dont know if you will respond to a review this late in the game for this chapter but i have to say b4 reading the next chapter i have come across in passing your peeve about saint lilly potter, and i do agree with it, however as time wears on ppl will tend to remember the good about a persons life and not the bad(well most of the time at least i hope unless your a snape like person in which case your f##ked for life).

I make it a point to respond to every review.  Thank you for yours.  Now, I am rather proud of the picture I painted of Lily.  She was a determined witch willing to do ANYTHING to save her child.~Jim

Good the see the real Ginny Weasley come out to play. Nice move Narcissa! That was an entertaining chapter. The end-of-line clauses will perhaps cause some trouble in the future. To bad about that whole Ron-Hermione, divorce-looking-for-a-place-to-happen thing.

Ron and Hermione have their place in the story as does Ginny.  You'll be happy to note that Narcissa and Charlie resurface for a cameo in chapter 29 just posted.~Jim

Your Sirius portrait might be the best I've ever read.

This will reading was definitely the best 'circus' I attended in a while.

I love your Narcissa. Spunky women are choice and few are rarely seen in the generation right above Harry except for Tonks, and she's really only a half a generation ahead of Harry.

On to the second circus act!

For some one who made such a brief appearance in the story, Narcissa left a massive impact.  I have resisted calls to bring her back, though I might be forced into either doing a Charlie/Narcissa one shot or at least an update in one of the chapters where I am looking for interesting filler material.~Jim

Love the story, very good plot, great twists on overused contrivances. But allow me a pet peeve -- "canon".

Keep writing!

I'll get out my cannon and blast the second 'n' away. :)

Seriously, I'll fix it soon.  Kokopelli was nice enough to rebeta my chapters.  So the newer ones will be less full of mistakes.~Jim

This is LOVELY. Your twists are unforseeable and perfectly valid, especially those concerned with Narcissa... and I've never seen the title to a story so seamlessly worked into the text. No misplaced commas that I could find, either! ;) Thanks so much for sharing -- this chapter was a joy to read.

Thanks again.  My other chapters will be up soon.  Glad you like the twists.  The additional betaing has really helped.~Jim

I really liked the 'whirlwind' no-nonsense version of Narcissa you present. She is portrayed as a good character in several stories, but I have never seen her show such a decisive personality. It is like a breath of fresh air, and this change is highly appreciated.

Your ruminations about the Gringotts vaults make sense. Personally, I think it's not too outlandish for people to store other things than gold and gemstones in the vaults, like heirlooms, but I agree that on closer examination, it is unlikely that Harry finds the keys to Voldemort's defeat in there. Like you pointed out, anything that would be of use to Lily and James would not be in the vault. An author could still have Harry find useful stuff there, but it would have to be something that is of no benefit to L&J, either because they are additional duplicates that don't bring them any further benefit, or it is something they can't use in the first place.

The 'love potion' discussion was quite interesting. I don't particularly like 'Saint Lily' either, and while I'm not exactly sure who is being implied to have taken the potion and who is supposed to be targeted by it, it gives a little more spice to the usually bland background of Harry's parents.

The arranged marriage theme isn't one of my favorites, and I can see where this will end up going, but for now you have managed not to slip up and it is still refreshing and fun. It all depends on the characters' reactions. I guess I will see if you manage to keep your footing on this one... ;)

Quizer

I have resisted numerous calls to bring 'whirlwind Narcissa' back to the storyline.  I agree that she should have a more decisive personality.

As for Harry's parents, I wanted people to remember that they were in their early twenties.  I remember my monumental stupidity at that age and I tried to make real people in a bad situation.  The letter from James in the next chapter doesn't answer as many questions as it proposes.  As it should be.  I don't like stories where the letter from James, Lily or Sirius basically gives Harry the 'roadmap for success'.  If they had all the answers then, why didn't they use them?

Thanks again,

Jim

The first part of the chapter came as quite a shocker to me. I'm not sure why people are so fond of turning Ginny in a vitriol-spouting bitch at odd opportunities. I had not expected you to fall for that trap. It makes a good opportunity for Harry and Susan to get closer, but I think this is well out of proportion. It is an attitude that I cannot fathom, and if I was in Harry's shoes, I would stamp her down brutally. She may hurt because of Percy's death, but this is no way to deal with pain.

The conversation between Harry and Susan is well done and refreshing for a change in that the characters actually talk about relationship-related stuff in your story, instead of the usual obliviousness.

I wrote this after reading only a third of the chapter (can you tell I feel quite strongly about this?), so I'll continue now.

Quizer


PS: just noticing the bottom of your Author's Note: Please take note that 'cannon' is a large artillery gun, while 'canon' is the original material that exists about a work of fiction, in contrast to 'fanon', which is what fans contributed to it. This misspelling is another pet peeve of mine and I wanted to alert you to it, in case it is a simple case of ignorance.

Yeah, gotta fix the cannon crap!  As for Ginny, in so many stories, she is a take charge hell on wheels kind of girl.  I wanted to go for a real youngest child and only girl.  I pictured her as slightly coddled and overprotected by her mother and she has never really known loss before in her life.  Percy dies and she takes her guilt/anger out on Harry.  He could save Susan, why couldn't he save Percy?

More on Ginny later...

Jim

Nice take on things. Having Ginny blow her chance with that emotional reaction is one of the more realistic ways to scuttle things for her. The end of line manipulations is even craftier. Remus is going to be a while getting out of the doghouse for this one.

I've seen "Sirius's will done by a portrait" before, so I'm not sure if this was the first, but the extra bit about the luxuries therein was hilarious.

Narcissa was hilariously over the top. Definitely related to Sirius in this story.

Saint Lily may be a cliche, but it does have some basis in canon. Her sacrifice *is* a matter of canon. But I'll reserve opinion until I see how you run this.

Whoops!  I thought I had responded to this one already.  Apparently, not.  Hopefully you have seen I how did chapter 9.  Lily's willingness to sacrifice herself was never a question.  How many others she would be willing to sacrifice is a whole different question.~Jim