To Fight the Coming Darkness

Hmm... I have to say I really like where this is going (and am particularly intrigued by the relationship that's being generated between Scrimgeour and Harry). And Wormtail is becoming ever more entertaining.

I've been reading your stories for the last week or so, and this is the first time I've had anything worthwhile to say about them. I don't mean that in a bad way--I just mean I feel kind of dumb saying nothing more than "great story."

Thoughts on the other stories:

Truthfully, I'm a Harry/Ginny shipper, but every once in a while, I'll read fic from another 'ship if it's well-thought-out and the author can make me believe whatever 'ship he or she is promoting in the story. You have accomplished that end with your Harry/Fleur and Harry/Luna stories. But part of that is because I could see where the ideas came from in canon.

Now, this story . . . I admit, I was leery about the Harry/Susan 'ship when I first started reading, especially since you have to practically make up a whole character--there's not any information in JKR's books which tells us how Susan would act in any circumstances at all. But I do like your version of Susan, and am quickly coming to like the 'ship.

Other than the leeriness about the various 'ships in your stories, the foul language actually spelled out (I prefer JKR's "______ cursed" method, as opposed to spelling out the actual words used) and the sometimes questionable grammar (thought it's better in this story than the other three), I find the stories very entertaining. Your plots especially are extremely intriguing.

I look forward to reading more, and will now finish typing this review so that I can do just that.

Good points.  Darkness was my first story.  It has ups and it has downs, but I'm proud of the story.  It taught me many of the things to do and not do in a story.

I hope you continue to enjoy it.~Jim

Re: authors notes --

Why aren't there wizarding armies? JKR doesn't give a reason, but you might want to consider reading some of the earlier Darkover books by Marion Zimmer Bradley, which explain why their psi powers ("laran") aren't used for war.

Why the unrealistic monetary system? Because JKR wanted it that way. But if you do some research, you will find that there _are_ a few countries that have a prime number of smaller monetary units in a larger unit (and no, I don't mean 2, 3, or 5).

The Mega Millions jackpot -- I don't know if the Grangers could "buy the ministry", but they would definitely acquire some influence if Hermione cared to use it that way.

7 galleons for a wand -- keep in mind that galleons are made of gold. If a galleon weighs 1 ounce, it will be about the size of a quarter and worth over $650 (as of 8/29/2007). Also, the wizarding world seems to resemble a much older version of our world. If you read Regency romance novels, you will see that in the late 1700s an income of 800 pounds sterling was a "competence", enough for a genteel but unfashionable living -- a companion, a cook, a butler, a housekeeper, a small house in a good but not fashionable part of London, an occasional trip to the countryside or perhaps to Bath (again, staying in a 2nd rank hotel).

That would work out to about US$4000/year from after the Revolution to the early 1900s, I think.

IOW, 7 galleons is a non-trivial amount of money. Over $5000 in today's money, and money probably buys more in the wizarding world than it does here. My guess is that Arthur Weasley probably earns less than 10 galleons a month in his job at the ministry, and has managed to raise a family of 7 in a somewhat overcrowded house on that -- including sending all of them to Hogwarts, with all the expenses involved -- tuition, books, robes, wands, etc.

Thanks for the long review.  It was just another sign to me when I wrote this chapter notes that JKR didn't realize that she had the next thing on her hands.  I wonder if she ever laughed at how much time all of us spend discussing the merits of her work.

Regards,
Jim

I relitively certain that the National Guard and Reserves are purely American, the British equal would be the Territorial Army as it's made up of part-time paid volenteers.

Thanks for the info.  I will keep that in mind.~Jim

Just to say your story's getting better and better =) I especially like how you describe Voldemort and his death eaters; they seem to be more "real".

Good job, keep writing like that and you may end up in my very restrictive all-time favorite authors list =)

Thank you for the compliments.  When I first started writing this story, I wanted to be realistic and believeable.  I am proud of my depiction of Voldemort and his minions.  Too many authors out there give us the psychotic throne humper.  I wanted someone more along the lines of Magneto or Doctor Doom from Marvel Comics.  Chapter 26 is almost done.~Jim

Once again, your originality is a delight to read.

The Scrimgeour conversation is very practcal and pragmatic - something Dumbledore is probably incapable of, even though I am writing him going in that directon.

Terrific!

In far too many stories where Scrimgeour is used, he is a bully and a thug.  I wanted something different.  I have given a story where Harry clearly is not Dumbledore's man allowing him to be his own person.  I'm hard on Dumbles early on.  He gets better as the story progresses.  I look forward to your opinions~Jim

Good job on resolving the Tonks issue. My fears proved to be unnecessary, but this could have been turned either way. Anyway, I'm glad you didn't choose the path of deep angst.


Quizer

Just because I use and abuse many cliches, doesn't mean I use everyone.~Jim

Specifically on your authors' note considering money - there is an exchange rate of roughly five pounds sterling to the galleon. An American dollar is between 42 and 43 pence sterling, so a galleon is roughly twelve dollars.
That makes Harry's wand £35, the reward £5000. Slightly more realistic, but when you have things like mending charms, colour charms and something of a lack of consumerism among the population (fewer adverts), it will reduce living costs.
Thought that might help.
Lol, Tanydwr

Agreed, but I am pretty sure that when JKR wrote the first book she really wasn't too concerned about the economics of it all.  I wonder if she gets a kick out of reading about all us fanfic authors out there quibbling about exchange rates and her financial system?

Hope you enjoyed~Jim