flynhghr posted a comment on Friday 20th November 2009 8:32am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

I knew it was a trap as soon as they said it was convenient that all the gold was in the first faults. Of course, at the very bottom where it would be hardest to get out... If I saw that one comeing a mile away I'm suprised noone else did. It's probably in some run of the mill vaults about a third of the way down. After all, why would Riddle want to walk all the way down, right? I can only imagine what it's going to be like searching the vaults for the real gold piles. Interesting letter to Luna, exactly what I think he would've written at that point. Enjoying every minute of it!

fyrecat posted a comment on Saturday 27th December 2008 7:07am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Lots of good action this chapter. too bad about Sanchez. That whole setup just screamed TRAP! The only place without wards? Seemingly untouched? No way Moldyshorts would have let that happen!
Good chapter!

Editorial notes:
"Hopefully, the Goblins will get there transfer system working again soon."
- get their transfer system...
- 'there' indicates a location
- 'their' means 'belonging to them'

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Thursday 10th January 2008 6:37am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Good chapter, bummer about the pretty witch.

gunny

JBern replied:

Hope you were impressed by the level of violence.~Jim

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Tuesday 8th January 2008 4:17pm for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

"Can never have too much cock at your disposal."
Hahaha, oh Bill, you and your perverted jokes.

Harry probably should've mentioned his theory on where it really is, eh? Voldemort does seem to have a "grandeur complex." If there's no such thing, then, well, he's the first one to have it. :)

Poor Sanchez. :( And there go Hack's only chances at getting laid!

I'm not getting a good vibe from Collins right now, something tells me he's going down soon. :'(

JBern replied:

Ah yes, Sanchez will be missed.   Interesting comment about Collins.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 8th March 2007 10:44pm for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Computer lost the first version of this so I'll try again, apologies if it's a little short:

I can't believe I missed this chapter before but it just means more cookie-like fanfic goodness now. The toughness of that cookie just makes it more entertaining. I really like the way this story has taken a turn for the dark side. Suddenly there's a feeling that things can't always be fixed by magic and that anyone can die. Maria was a great character while she was in it, I'm still shuddering over the underwear thing, but her death makes it more believable. Poor Bill too. It's rather like reaching the end of the Goblet of Fire and realising that anyone can die and it can all go horribly wrong for Harry. Superb story so far. More please. Poor Luna and I will be waiting desperately for the next update from Harry on tenterhooks.

JBern replied:

Good lord!   It's the final reply before I'm actually caught up!   Maybe this reply to every review policy isn't such a bright idea.~Jim

Stygius posted a comment on Monday 5th March 2007 1:20am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

wow.. sometimes i think you are pulling this out a bit too much, but other times i think you brilliant.. right now, i am not sure which it is.. harry 'last' letter are always good... would love to know how or if luna is responding to them... anyway, congrats and update soon... i look forward to the end of this and the start of the next great adventure. however, this adventure ends.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I am starting on the next chapter today.   I hope you continue to enjoy this story and its planned sequel.~Jim

rebirthofham posted a comment on Friday 2nd March 2007 11:52am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

awesome awesome awesome.

KEEP WRITING MATE!!!!!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I am starting on the next chapter today.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 2nd March 2007 2:32am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Fascinating leave-behind-surprise catered by Voldie. I like the idea that Maria gone now makes Harry a curse-breaker on the team by necessity. Also interesting that he is the only fully functioning curse breaker for a while.

Goblin Perfidy? Excellent bone of contention.

JBern replied:

Again, I like my battles to be fast paced and brutal.   I have to thank the folks that help with this story.   Maria's death was rewritten a total of 4 times.   One of them pointed reminded me that, "She only dies like a bit character, if you let her die like a bit character."

Very true advice indeed.~Jim

Heir of Gryffindor posted a comment on Wednesday 28th February 2007 4:47pm for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Ooo, now we're getting darker. Not that this story has not had its serious moments, but now you've finally put the Boy Who Lived in a dire situation. did Harry voice his concerns about the horcux's location to Bill? It seems to me that Bill might should have listened to the one person who had a clear view of the psychopath's mind.

JBern replied:

He did, but he wasn't forceful enough.     Bill's logic of 'follow the gold' has a certain appeal to it as well.   I'm starting on the next chapter as soon as I finish catching up on replies.~Jim

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Tuesday 27th February 2007 6:58am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Wow!! Brutal chapter. Really liked that you started and ended it with a letter. Cocksure Harry to start and dejected Harry to end very stark contrast and very well written.

For a minute down int he vaults I thought Bill had been crushed by the avalanche thing just before Voldemort's voice boomed but it was like OMG at killing Maria. Really good way of bringing the reality of the situation back to us readers!

Its heading slightly darker, bit more like to fight but thats explainable by the situation that they're in and how it must be difficult to have irreverent comments in the face of certain death.

Thanks for writing, I look forward to more!

Monkey

JBern replied:

Glad you appreciated how I made the chapter flow.   The battle was meant to be fast-paced, brutal and done in the 'fog of war' style.   I hope I did not disappoint?

You should really have some Ax based scale for rating a chapter.   Like I give this one four bloody axes out of five...

Jim

 

EricThorsen posted a comment on Monday 26th February 2007 1:46pm for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Ouch... yeah things have gotten tougher, I just wonder what Harry and the Hellfighters are going to come up with next.

JBern replied:

I start laying out the next chapter today.   You won't have to wonder for long.   Thanks for the review.~Jim

nezza posted a comment on Monday 26th February 2007 5:55am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

nice update if a little lacking in the plot development department but then i am not writing three really good fics at teh same time now am i?

keep up the good work and don't spread yourself too thin

JBern replied:

I could have gone on into the next scene, but I thought it detracted from the power of Maria's death.   More plot starting today as I am starting on the next chapter.   Stay tuned...

Jim

uthamm posted a comment on Monday 26th February 2007 3:54am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Nice. Dose of reality. We are dealing with LV after all. Too bad about the unrequited love between the 'pretty witch' and Hack . . . is that even possible?!? AHH! YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT THAT AGAIN! I WAS OVER IT! OVER! I am guessing that LV made a serious enemy in Hack after killing the object of his longing from afar . . . You didn't say if Sanchez was impressed with rock throwing! Nice work - looking forward to more.

JBern replied:

Well they could always go find the body for Hack....   There how's that for disturbing?   :P

I start laying out the next chapter as soon as I catch up on the rest of my replies.~Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Monday 26th February 2007 2:43am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

That was an impressive chapter to say the least, with a lot of pain and suffering for Harry's group. After getting used to Maria, it felt bad that she died, and the way things are going, I wonder how much of the rest of the group will handle things now, as well as how Luna will react when she reads these two letters.

JBern replied:

I made an errant click and rated your review lower than it should have been, sorry.   I am glad you enjoyed the chapter.   One of these days you'll see Luna's response.   I promise.~Jim

Crys posted a comment on Monday 26th February 2007 12:44am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Interesting that Harry's still writing Luna. And what he's saying is much more . . . friendly and calm than anything. I guess having someone to write to even if she can't write back is good for him. Even if it is a bit intellectually dishonest.

> Thundercloud’s Patronus is his eagle form.
Hmm. That has some psychological implications if you wanted to follow-up with it.

> If you hadn’t already been up in the cave, you thought he might have stuck it to the roof of the cave and put a fucking spotlight on it.
The very definition of egoism. And he'd do that for any other example of his power, but Horcruxes are different. They're only useful if they're intact, therefore hidden. I'm with Bill on this one.

Ah, now THAT is a good idea by LV. Go to the obvious place and set a trap for anyone following you.

On the other hand, LV is very clever. The Horcrux could still be down there, just buried deeper. After all, this layer of trap would also protect anything beyond it.

Once Collins is awake, I hope someone slaps him for that A-K. Well, maybe not. The fight wasn't going pretty and that WAS the quickest way to stop it. They were winning that war of attrition (they would've gotten rid of all the bones before all of them fell), but losing even one is a net loss for the good guys.

Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter.

JBern replied:

Harry knows he is being a bit 'mean' to Luna by writing when she can't write back, but remember there was a 3 week block where they hadn't written to each other.   His last letter before the assault on the dead city was a confessional.   He's kept writing because he feels like he needs to have something to cling to other than the surrounding despair.

Patronus comment --> not saying anything other than stick around...

More on the Horcrux location coming in the next chapter.   More on Collins coming next chapter.   In general, more coming next chapter.   I'm starting on it today.~Jim

 

 

aemon_targaryen posted a comment on Sunday 25th February 2007 9:04pm for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Wow-as always I love reading your story. So, the first human member of the expedition bites the dust. I wonder who else will follow? It seems like Collins is a likely candidate-I would hate to lose Bill, Kwan, or Thundercloud.

It's interesting to see the two totally different tones the ending and beginning letters to Luna have-nice stylistic touch, by the way. I hope that Luna appreciates the shit that Harry is going through. I wouldn't mind seeing Harry spend some R&R time with another girl after this expedition other than Luna though-she has no claim on him, and he rather deserves it :) .

One grammar error that sticks out-"the Goblins will get there transfer system"-their would be the correct one-I'm not a grammar whore, but things like that catch my eye.

I'm eager to see where this goes next. Slight tangent-I've been reading some SG-1/HP crossovers lately, and curse-breaker!Harry reminds me of the Harry-as-Daniel-Jackson thing that some stories use-although of course Harry does less translating and more blasting.

JBern replied:

I'll add it to my list of errors to be fixed at a later date.   Yes more people will most likely be joining Sanchez on the Next Great Adventure.   I will only guarantee that Harry lives to see the sequel.

I've, never read SG-1 fanfiction.   If I wasn't writing so much, I probably would.   I stopped watching SG-1 before last season.   Though you may see a HP/Battlestar Galactica crossover after my current crop of stories is harvested.~Jim

ichtys posted a comment on Sunday 25th February 2007 7:35pm for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Hi Jim.
Very nice chapter.
One thing I noticed was that the narrative is rather fragmented in some places. I don't know if that was intended, but I think the story will flow better if you work on that aspect in the future chapters. I like the suspicion you have introduced in the group. I don't think you have to turn the Goblins into backstabbing traitors, just keep it at a "nice" level of dis-trust.

It is too bad the next chapter doesn't show up when I click "next" in the chapter navigation.

Until next time.
Regards Ichtys

JBern replied:

Thanks for this and all your continued help at the AFC site.~Jim

Terry Swain posted a comment on Sunday 25th February 2007 2:07pm for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

great chapter. :)

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I start on the next chapter today.~Jim

Patches posted a comment on Sunday 25th February 2007 2:07pm for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

A very good chapter. Sad and depressing in some ways. It is sad to lose anyone even an unpleasant person like Maria. She did redeem herself in a lot of ways as a member of the team. Collins loosing it was a surprise. Does Luna write Harry back soon? Can they communicate from this city with the journals or do they have to leave the city to be able to send the letters to the other journal? I look forward to the next chapter. Thanks for writing. pms

JBern replied:

Luna may already be writing back.   Until the transfer system works, Harry and Bill can't send their journals outside of the wards to updated.   I am starting on the next chapter today.~Jim

Wolfric posted a comment on Sunday 25th February 2007 11:36am for Is it so Frightening to Have Me at Your Shoulder

Another good chapter. You have quite the talent for action sequences. Please keep them coming and thanks for all your efforts.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I am starting on the next chapter today.~Jim