flynhghr posted a comment on Thursday 19th November 2009 2:10pm for Palm Tree Apartments

Aaand the plot thickens. Oh Harry I have this terribly expensive magical object and no friends to give it to, why don't you take it so we can chat? Ok ok, I know you needed a way to get them together but really? A chance meeting in a muggle airport. I do like Luna, but I don't think she's as barmy as most fics put her out to be. It's obvious it's a front, but you know there's good reasons. Harry hangin with Bill is good, but it's interesting that he didn't just hit up Gringotts at 6am to lockdown his vaults after getting a nice going away present from em. Harry also should've asked Bill to pick up his broom and dispell the tracker on it, he is a curse breaker after all. Good writing, despite somewhat messy plot weaving.

Concealed Convict posted a comment on Saturday 3rd January 2009 8:15am for Palm Tree Apartments

Great story so far. The second person perspective was a little off-putting at first, but it actually works really well. It's interesting. The story is engaging and the Luna character you are using appears as if it could be really well written as well. I can't wait to read the continuation of the events in the summer and further reactions from the Weasleys.

Concealed-Convict

fyrecat posted a comment on Wednesday 24th December 2008 12:56pm for Palm Tree Apartments

HAHA!! I LOVE this Luna! Shouldn't Harry have gone to gringotts and told then to freeze his money or something? Ah well...
Great story!

Editorially, I noticed that you seem to occasionally choose the wrong homonym. there/their/they're, Stairs / stares, etc.
that's a common problem ,and easily fixed by looking up each version in the dictionary.

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Tuesday 8th January 2008 1:54pm for Palm Tree Apartments

Outstanding chapter. I really like Luna, she is a great charactor.

gunny

JBern replied:

Thanks.~Jim

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Thursday 3rd January 2008 11:34am for Palm Tree Apartments

Haha, yeah. I was going to take some time off, let it all digest, you know. But last night I couldn't sleep, so what better way to spend some extra time, eh?

Yeah, it took a bit to get used to the second person perspective, but as long it's well written (which it is), I'm fine with it.

Harry and Bill teaming up is going to be fun. :) And I like your Luna. The stuff she and Harry write to each other through those book-mail devices should be interesting.

JBern replied:

And now you're sucked into this story.~Jim

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 1:27pm for Palm Tree Apartments

Luna's part was brilliant.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I hope you continue to enjoy the part she plays in the story.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 6:19am for Palm Tree Apartments

I adore your Luna. She's brilliant by being canon and at the same time completely original. I also love the way Harry is so completely natural around Fleur - as any teenage boy would be. I've always liked Bill so this should be great. Wonderful chapter.

JBern replied:

Above all else (and in my case especially above grammar) I strive for originality.   There have been all kinds of versions of Luna, but up until now at least to my knowledge no one has ever given us a Luna that is perfectly sane and doing all this for fun... or is she?

More on that later....

When all else fails - MORE NAKED VEELA!~Jim

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Monday 22nd January 2007 3:11am for Palm Tree Apartments

Really interesting that you use Bill. Very few authors seem to care anything about the older Weasley children past killing Percy.

Absolutely love the "real Luna". Especially the fact that its all one big prank.

The fact that Harry's inner voice was Snape is both hilariously funny and qutie perverse.

I like being Harry's head this way, I think it works so well because of the highly amusing way he seems to think. I'm curious as to how you wrote it, was it just streams of consciousness that you managed to break down? I ask because at times the way you have him thinking seems so real. Like how the brain really does think but odd links and thought patterns.

Thanks for writing. I'm so glad I've got more to read!

Monkey

JBern replied:

Thought I had responded to all your reviews.   I like Bill.   I want to give you a story where he is cool instead of just implying that he is cool.   As you can see Luna's big prank may turn out to have her as the biggest victim.

Harry's inner voice sounds more like Kwan these days...

I write Harry like I think.   I have a very twisted mind.   There is a preview of chapter 18 in my forum on this site.~Jim

Quizer posted a comment on Thursday 7th December 2006 1:58am for Palm Tree Apartments

Fun story. The second person perspective writing style was quite difficult to get into, but I think I got used to it now. It was especially confusing because the way you started the first chapter didn't make it immediately obvious, because of the whole 'what would you do with the last five minutes of your life' shtick.

I'm usually not one for betrayal themes, but the unique perspective and the way Harry gradually discovers the treachery made it very intriguing and fun to read. I do hope we'll eventually see some payback coming.

I like your version of Luna. I haven't seen anyone else play on the idea that Luna is completely faking her attitude like this, even though it should be a rather obvious idea. The idea that not her, but her father is the mentally challenged one, is quite unique and well-conceived of.

will continue to read now

Quizer

JBern replied:

Glad you could get into the 2nd person as well as the betrayal theme.   I also have never scene Luna done as acting her part.   Though as you will see, the easiest person out there to lie to is ... yourself.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 1:06pm for Palm Tree Apartments

Excellent! I have always wanted to write a Luna-faking-it, but I've never found the right hook.

Now I may never because you just created the quintessential hook for it and I can only hope to create one "not as good."

Great fun!

JBern replied:

I've seen so many stories with Luna the seer, Luna the empath .... but I have never seen Luna the prankster.   She has some deep seated issues that are going to come to light shortly.   Everything is a game to her.   Of course, the easiest person to lie to is yourself.

Jim

Ken Warner posted a comment on Sunday 5th November 2006 1:07pm for Palm Tree Apartments

love your Luna - altogether a much more satisfying chapter than the last
Thanks

JBern replied:

One of the hooks for this story was to do a version of Luna that is basically playing a big joke on everyone.   Though the easiest person to lie to is yourself...   ~Jim