Keats449 posted a comment on Monday 25th January 2010 5:13pm for Scoff at the Monkeys

Interesting story so far, the first chapter was very good, and even though the 'everyone betrays Harry' has been done to death, you did a nice job with it. I'm a little disappointed in your portrayal of Luna, it's not that she seems like a bad character or anything, it's just that Luna's craziness is what really makes her an interesting character. Instead of making Luna's insanity an act, why not just put Harry with either a random girl from Hogwarts or an original character, I would've found that preferable to taking away what makes Luna unique.

flynhghr posted a comment on Thursday 19th November 2009 2:42pm for Scoff at the Monkeys

Attractive Canadian girls? Really?! Hmm, this chapter didn't move much, mostly the plane ride and a couple Luna-book entries. Oh, and the first thing he should've told Bill is he's never gotten his cigar smoked by a Veela. Of course I supposed he does want to say in good graces with the guy. I'm surprised you dropped so much about Luna in the first entry, one thinks she was dieing for someone to come out to. That's another example of fine writing.

fyrecat posted a comment on Wednesday 24th December 2008 1:33pm for Scoff at the Monkeys

Great story! I'm really digginfg the 'inside scoop' so to speak into harry's head! Oh, and what a fun plot!

I love Luna asking Snape about greasy hair! LOL!

More editorial notes: Wow! What a HUGE improvement over 'Coming Darkness!"
I only found 2 mistakes.

breach / breech - typo, or legitimate spellling error? we may never know...
-and-
Another instance of misuse of then / than in the last paragraph here.

Thanks!

dimriver posted a comment on Sunday 30th November 2008 2:23am for Scoff at the Monkeys

Hearing the interview made me realize the only defense professor Harry had that didn't try to kill him was Snape; at least Lupin had an excuse. Nice story by the way, very entertaining.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.~Jim

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Tuesday 8th January 2008 4:19pm for Scoff at the Monkeys

Very good chapter.

gunny

JBern replied:

Thanks.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 6:32am for Scoff at the Monkeys

Ron as Han Solo only works in the Dangerverse parody of the films. Absolutely excellent chapter. I particularly enjoyed the diary entries. You're right about the Weasley family. You also write great Harry - very convincing thoughts of him as the canon character and a betrayed teenage boy.

JBern replied:

Actually in Darkness Harry is more like Luke.   In this one Harry is more like Han.   More specifically, he is more like Indiana Jones.   I'm just busy channeling the recollections of my teenaged self and what ran through my head back then.~Jim

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Monday 22nd January 2007 3:17am for Scoff at the Monkeys

I really like the way that you use these journals as a way for Luna and Harry to communicate. A really good way to develop any possible pairing.

Its a pretty slow chapter really but it draws out some good character interaction between Harry and Bill as well as Luna and Harry.

Thanks for writing.

Monkey

JBern replied:

Thanks!~Jim

stgilman10 posted a comment on Saturday 9th December 2006 1:02pm for Scoff at the Monkeys

If I ever write a fic that has a Manipulative!Dumbles and Angry!Harry, I will without a doubt ask permission to use Weasley Family Detention and Reeducation Center and Institute for Advanced Student Manipulation. Absolutely Brilliant.

I started off with TFtCD, because at first the 2nd person put me off of this, but this is really well done! Good show, now I can read an update regardless of the story. One thing, though, for a while, you would update TFtCD with 3-5 chapters at a time, every 3 days or so. What happened to that? That was the ultimate in fic reading, when a good fic has a very big update very often. Keep 'em coming, but however quickly you need. Thanks a lot.

JBern replied:

I was posting the other story so fast because I had 24 chapters already written and posted on two other sites.   It was just a matter of trying to clean them up and get them up here.   On my normal schedule, I try to update TFTCD one week and Bungle the next.

Glad you are enjoying the story and the disturbing look into Harry's mind.~Jim

Michael Foerster posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 10:36pm for Scoff at the Monkeys

Oh, there's soo many things to laugh at and over!
The "Looney" act was the best inside joke created, that I've ever read about in HP-fanfiction.
( Cant't wait to see Dumbie's face after he send Luna her Head-Girl badge in the summer-hols, and then sees her walking in on the welcome feast with only the badge on....LOL )
Thanks.

JBern replied:

I've read so many different versions of Luna.   Luna is a seer, a magical creature, half vampire, half werewolf....   What I have never read is that she is perfectly sane and having one over on Hogwarts.   The complete freedom to say whatever is on your mind!   Any Harry/Luna romance will take place in the sequel.   This is more about them building the foundation for a relationship.~Jim

fairyp80 posted a comment on Sunday 12th November 2006 3:12pm for Scoff at the Monkeys

This is a very interesting story. It is a challenge to read, if only for the person it is written in. I can only imagine how difficult it might be to write....

JBern replied:

Thank you for the review.   I think the use of 2nd person grows on you after awhile.   Honestly it isn't that hard to write in - maybe I'm just weird though.   :)

Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 1:15pm for Scoff at the Monkeys

I have never been keen on using this voice in writing, but you're doing a wondeful job with it.

The stream of consciousness insults and sarcasm is terrific!

Just great!

JBern replied:

Sadly, I use alot of my own inner monologue for Harry in this story.   What does that say about me?   Probably that I am a sarcastic little so and so.   :)

Jim

sylver_skoon posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 2:07am for Scoff at the Monkeys

Quote:
You close your eyes and think about the three extremely attractive Canadian girls you saw in the lobby as you drift off to sleep.
Endquote

Please note that almost all our girls are attractive

a Canadian


Sylver

JBern replied:

Well I am glad to here that!   These just happened to be 3 very attractive specimens of female Canadian beauty.   They actually will be showing up again in a few chapters.~Jim

wicked posted a comment on Tuesday 7th November 2006 1:01am for Scoff at the Monkeys

"Sadly, it’s their winter there, which means we have to bundle up, as the temperature gets as low as 13 or 18 degrees Celsius at night and usually in the 20’s during the day. It’s rough weather compared to winter in Scotland, but you’ll manage."
Actually, thats pretty warm. You can walk around in short sleeves when its 20 ° Celsius. For reference, 0 ° is the water freezing point, and around here it gets as low as -25 ° in winter. I think it gets even colder than that in Scotland.

JBern replied:

Err- Bill was being sarcastic about the temperature.   I guess you didn't pick up on that or I wasn't fully able to convey that.   Given that future chapters talk about Harry being out at a Magical Only beach in shorts playing dodgespell.

Jim

fx posted a comment on Tuesday 7th November 2006 12:15am for Scoff at the Monkeys

You forgot to italize Luna's written part
"Dear Harry,

Well, that certainly was a surprise for both of us! It’s a little cramped in coach, I keep trying to convince Daddy to fly first class, but he insists that we would be monitored if we did. Apparently, armpit odor of many people crowded together must prevent this type of monitoring. Ignore my horrible handwriting..."

JBern replied:

Oops.   It must have not converted when I took the original word doc and converted it to html.   I'll fix it.   Thanks.~Jim