MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Wednesday 11th February 2009 7:18am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

This was a great chapter Jbern. Now I have caught up I can't wait for more. I hope that TML develops as equally brilliantly as I catch up with that too.

At the moment I think this is my favourite of your stories it just has the best blend of everything I think.

Now onto the review proper. I loved the bit just before they switch the lungs back and Harry muses on changing the family motto to "As you well know, Mr Potter, this will hurt quite a bit. Prepare yourself". I think that should be done its hilarious.

The password; "Heroism is not measure in points, but deeds" was also very good. Where do you get all these great sayings from? I like how the Fat lady helped get the message across to HJ.

Love that Perenelle Flamel calls Dumbles Brian. Also love that the hat is the reason that Nicolas Flamel didn't come to Hogwarts all that much.

Whoa! Harry with the Elixir of life, now that is quite a gift. I wonder why fanfic author's haven't thought to use that before. I don't mean to be mean about Neville's parents but why give Harry such a powerful gift from Flamel and using it on them. It gives you a great plot device to play with later. Have written that before I finished the chapter I think I understand and applauude the idea all over again.

Thanks for writing, I can't wait for more!
Monkey

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliments.   I put a lot into these chapters and it's nice to be recognized for it.~Jim

Ezra'eil posted a comment on Monday 2nd February 2009 1:44pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness

For some reason I keep picturing Harry making some type of giant snake through complicated enchanting in the next task, must be the wrong story...

JBern replied:

No plans for a giant sea snake - at least not in this story...

Jim

silverleafhp posted a comment on Monday 2nd February 2009 7:45am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

I knew, just knew you would take a cop out, and make everything "ok" with Harry and Remus, I just knew it from the first chapter that mentioned that he and lily cheated.

It is odd, but I expected a little more from you. Every fic I have ever read that involves any kind of disagreement between Harry/Remus is resolved with Harry forgiving him no matter what Remus did to cause the rift.

I see now that you are really no different. And here is a point that you may want to remember. The fact that James was away a lot fighting death eaters, in no way makes it alright for the wife to cheat. You basically just told the world that you support wife's or husbands of GI's in Iraq to have a little diddle with someone while their significant other is away serving their country.

That of course might not have been your intent, but that is basically what it boils down too. Shame on you Jbern, I expected better.

JBern replied:

Well I'm not certain that being HJ's punching bag constitutes being "okay" between the two of them.   What would you rather HJ do?   Alienate one of the few allies he has for something that happened over a decade ago?   Beating the snot out of him on a routine basis, even with magic's ability to heal still has to hurt.   Since, he doesn't know the context of their duels, I was sure to put Sirius Black's reaction that HJ was overdoing it.

HJ continues to struggle to identify who he is.   He knows that he is neither Harry nor James and is beginning to understand the flaws in thinking and doing exactly what one of them would do.   He doesn't want to be a clone of either one of them and seeks to define himself as his own man.

As for the "real life" comparison, being a US Navy veteran of the first gulf war and seeing firsthand the results of numerous incidents of wives diddling around on my shipmates, I'm not certain that you want to go down that road with me.   I've walked this earth for nearly 40 years and have a wealth of life experience to back up my insights.  

Your comparison also fails in that Remus and Lily were also fighting (though Lily not so much, since she was now obsessed with protecting her child) those same Death Eaters.   The Potter household was part of the warzone instead of thousands of miles away from it.   All of them were under intense pressure and often people under pressure make horrible mistakes.

Had the confrontation occured in the early chapters where James Potter's personality was more dominant, there likely would have been more violence, but HJ has had a chance to "grow up" some in the interim.

I created the affair as a plot device.   In canon, I saw no reason why Remus Lupin would suddenly appear in Harry's life.   The typical "Dumbledore asked me to stay away" answer doesn't really fly with me, so I looked for a realistic reason one that involves Lupin's own personal shame - his own feelings (like Black's) that he played a part in what happened.   The whole "he's a dark creature and we can't make him our Secretkeeper" doesn't really sit well with me either.

I also don't really recall writing a strained relationship with Remus in To Fight the Coming Darkness except perhaps at the will reading in chapter 8 or 9 where Harry was understandably upset with all the authority figures in his life.

Finally, I don't see where HJ ever told Lupin that he thinks what happened was "okay" by any standards.   He told him that they'd start over, since he isn't Harry and he isn't James and Lupin has the opportunity to earn his trust again.   HJ considers Remus a weak man full of self loathing and knows that Lily wasn't exactly a passive participant in it  either.   Finally,  I know enough of those "real life" guys to know that many of them  wonder what they could have done different and see the infidelity as something "they" did wrong.  

You may have expected better, but I'm not writing just to meet your expectations.   This is my story and I will tell it my way.

Lathena posted a comment on Tuesday 20th January 2009 9:55am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

That is a tough decision, ouch. I always greatly enjoy your character development. I like the idea behind HJ, it's very original and a much better way to have harry mature and gain knowledge than the insta-super harry versions so common. So does he end up with Voldie's memories at some point? Also cool is how HJ is a different person from HP and JP, probably a better one than either, at minimum more entertaining. You do a good job of combining the two.
This story is hysterical. Well obviously not everything-which makes it more real. But after the bit where Neville asks what a dildo is (completely plausible) I wasn't quite rolling on the floor laughing only because my bed is at convenient throwing myself out of the chair distance. The hat is brilliant and utterly, sidesplitingly funny.
Also loved your portrayal of fleur. I can't wait to see where that is going. It's so very plausible.
The only problem with your stories is the quantity or lack of it and the fact that looking at other authors stories after yours seem flat and boring, with weak or completely unrelatable characters.
Good luck with your original works and I hope you don't forget about your little fanfics.
Oh and I caught the Kwan and Collins crossover from bungle in the jungle. Will Harry ever meet up with Kwan? He is in the market for mercs.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliments.   I'm sorry if I'm spoiling you for others.   :-)

Meghan posted a comment on Monday 12th January 2009 5:51pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness

Great update - I wish it were longer and I know how annoying that is since I receive that all the time... but this story is simply superb. You're doing a tremendous job with this plot and I am eagerly awaiting your next move or HJ's. :)

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'm starting on this chapter after I finish responding to reviews.   Hope all is well with you.~Jim

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Tuesday 6th January 2009 12:58pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness

So, who? Frank, Alice or Lockhart? Actually, not Lockhart, he's too fa4 up himself. But I liked this chapter.

JBern replied:

Honestly, I'll probably keep the readers in the dark for the next few chapters - trust me HJ will be rather busy.~Jim

Crys posted a comment on Sunday 4th January 2009 10:00am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

> He'd likely be trying to figure out how he could shag Fleur and still keep an eye on Aimee.
> Mirrors, I could probably do it with a conjured mirror or two. They'd have to be placed right and she'd have to be on top…
*laugh* There's the HJ we've all come to know and love!

> "Professor McGonagall changed the passphrase - Heroism is not measured in points, but deeds."
*eyeroll* Very subtle, McG. Or AD, depending.

Huh. Final dose of Elixir . . . All sorts of ways that can be useful.

Generous idea to use it on the Longbottoms, but it will definitely be more useful as a battlefield emergency medicine while fighting Voldy. Or at least a quick "cure-all" to get him back in fighting shape afterwards.

> but I choose to believe that immortality distorted his view of life.
Thereby conveniently bypassing the possibility that it's your own damn fault because you're asking the old man annoying questions.

Huh. He did give it to one of them. Interesting idea, but objectively, I think it's the wrong choice. Not that I really have a vote . . .

Anyway, I predict it'll be Frank. Yes, the two are about even as far as "good to Neville", so to speak. Therefore, we need to go to other reasons. Like it or not, Sirius is right. A good Auror is an invaluable asset. Not to mention he has some strategic intelligence (fighting styles of the Inner Circle DE's). And he can help HJ train.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.   The readers have the benefit of knowing that the war will be coming very soon (given that the author is fairly impatient).   HJ doesn't.   He has something that might be able to save one of two good people, so he does some soul searching and roles the dice.

WorldOfLilyEvans posted a comment on Sunday 4th January 2009 12:40am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

Happy New Year to you too!

You were indeed very generous towards your betas.

I loved reading this chapter! Looking forward to your next update!

-xxx- Malou

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   More coming soon.~Jim

Ltank687 posted a comment on Saturday 3rd January 2009 9:19am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

i couldn't believe you updated so quick! thank you so much, this was probably my favorite chapter out of this entire story. And for my two cents, Frank! Frank the Tank!

Looking forward, as always, to reading your story.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'm glad you enjoyed it.   It might be a few chapters before we see who HJ chose.   More is on the way.~Jim

Rexnos posted a comment on Friday 2nd January 2009 6:47pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness

That's a really lame cliff hanger there... I'd assume that Harry will rez Frank, but you might have just wrote it to read that way. It's been done before after all.

Anyway, the story is still running great. To be honest, I look forward to this story a little more than I do TML. TML is amazing and all, but I think the limited romantic tension holds it back in my eyes. That's totally my opinion though.

In any case, looking forward to the next chapter in both. Things just build up more and more... Just from the darker tone, Voldemort seems like much more of a beast than Rowling's ever did. I can't help but worry about our poor Harries...

Later,
Rex

JBern replied:

I thought it was a good cliffhanger.   You can have drama without action.   Anyway, more is on the way as soon as I clear the decks of the reviews.~Jim

MOD posted a comment on Friday 2nd January 2009 11:44am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

Great chapter, as always!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   More on the way soon.~Jim

Anthony May posted a comment on Friday 2nd January 2009 10:20am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

JBern is a writing god!!!!!

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliment.~Jim

ernichol posted a comment on Friday 2nd January 2009 9:04am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

wicked awesome as always

JBern replied:

I appreciate the compliment.~Jim

DrT posted a comment on Friday 2nd January 2009 7:48am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

Wow, HJ is really maturing emotionally. Good explanation on the oddness of Remus in canon, btw. A very solid and enjoyable chapter.

I admit, I can't see any reason to wake up Alice, but we'll see when you have a chance to enlighten us

JBern replied:

Of course if you look at a review I just received today (2/2/09), someone didn't like my HJ and Remus interaction.   Oh well, you can't please them all.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Friday 2nd January 2009 5:27am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

It's really interesting to see a more mature Harry emerging from this and also reacting against being too much like his father. Then again he's seen where that leads.

Laughed my head off at mermaid's pubic hair and why Harry would know mermish. Very funny. Also good to see Ron being less of a prat than his brothers for once. Harry's conversation with Remus was another interesting character study but it was his with Aimee that gave me my second firt of giggles. Loved the revelation to her about being an animagus.

Best of all was the ambiguity of the final part. How Harry can choose I don't know but it's a very difficult decision. I'm plumping for Frank, but I've no idea which way you'll jump with this one. Great story. Can't wait for the next chapter and yes, that cliffhanger was EVIL!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   What happened to Monkey?   I feel so abandoned!!!   Glad you enjoyed the chapter so throughly.   More coming soon after I answer all these reviews.~Jim

Loopy Dane posted a comment on Friday 2nd January 2009 2:32am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

This story seems to really be flowing for you! Great chapter! May your muse continue to drip in your brain.
Thank you for sharing your time and talent with us.

JBern replied:

Thank you for reviewing.~Jim

gregstar posted a comment on Friday 2nd January 2009 2:16am for A Prayer for Forgiveness

Happy new year. Great to see you are back and writing this masterpiece.

I love the way that you write the quandries that HJ faces and the differences that make him HJ instead of just Harry or just James.

I am really looking forward to seeing who is being saved and I hope you don't leave us waiting for more for too long.

Thank you for sharing this with us!

JBern replied:

More coming soon.   Thanks for the review.~Jim

Zicou posted a comment on Thursday 1st January 2009 8:12pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness

That was awesome!
I'm eager to see frank come back (i guess it's him) and to see his reaction to Neville treatment from Augusta!
Continuuuuue, it's great!
Z.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   More coming soon.~Jim

CosmosGravitation posted a comment on Thursday 1st January 2009 7:09pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness

Good stuff, as usual.

Harry's conversations with Aimee and Fleur came across well. Glad to see Harry backed off the James approach.

You have the ability to make original characters appealing, a rare talent among fanfic authors. Bodes well for your original works.

Sirius comments that Alice was a housewife, but didn't Alice become an Auror? Even if she's not as talented a dueler as her husband, I imagine she's no slouch and might have other talents that helped her get that job. If Harry picked her, hopefully he had a logical reason for it.

I wonder how much of a help Frank and Alice would be in a fight in the near future considering their muscles and such are bound to have atrophied after all this time, although I suppose there might be magical means to prevent such things. Oh, even if there's not, I suppose the elixir of life would probably aid in the healing. Duh, never mind.

Looking forward to whatever you're working on next.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliments.   I hope you take the opportunity to try my collection when it goes on sale (middle of February if the proof on its way to me is acceptable).

As for Alice, I'm assuming she went through the 3 years of training, served a bit and then went on a maternity stint, while Frank kept improving, hence the housewife comment.

Regards,

Jim

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Thursday 1st January 2009 4:51pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness

"The trick is to make certain you position the pillow right." Very cute exchange.

And a very interesting sub-plot with the Longbottoms. Doesn't mean you aren't a bastard for cliffhanging it. :-)

Dumbledore in this one is much more believably human than either the evil or saintly DD's we normally see.

Good chapter, thanks for sharing it with us. And good luck with your original works.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments on my Dumbledore.   More coming soon.~Jim