The Lie I've Lived
A Prayer for Forgiveness
By JBern
Reviews
drkjester posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 1:13pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness
YOU ARE SO MEAN!!!!! lol love the cliffy can't wait for more.
JBern replied:
The wait is almost over. More coming soon.~Jim
Gardengirl posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 12:09pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness
So - is this the end of this story arc? (You say "sequel") Anyway, I like your Harry/James - he's a really neat mixture of two characters, and the way you've written him is very engaging. Thanks for the New Years Eve treat!
JBern replied:
No. This story will go to about chapter 25. The sequel will pick up then. Glad you like the story.~Jim
Jack-A-Roe posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 11:47am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
I thought you did a very good job of showing HJ growing up. From his conversations in the hospital wing to his conversations with DD.
Although you were able to maintain his boyish attitudes and jokes.
Have a great 2009!
JBern replied:
I hope you have a great 2009 as well. Thanks for the review.~Jim
hordac85 posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 11:33am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Excellent.Keep it up.
JBern replied:
I will try. More coming shortly.~Jim
Jason Karr posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 11:15am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Oh how I hate cliffhangers. Hopfulley the cure will last more then a few years. Bur at least Neville gets to have some time with at least one parent.
JBern replied:
We'll see. More of this story coming shortly.~Jim
ABUNIX posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 10:53am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
excellent as always Jbern, but I do have to wonder, has Augusta been told? and will Harry present an Iron belly Dragon steak to Aimee as she leaves the hospital?
JBern replied:
Dumbledore and HJ made the command decision to keep Augusta out of the loop. She'd obviously pick her baby boy.~Jim
Immortalitis posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 10:34am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
*Eye twitch* You...bastard.
You left us with such a huge damn cliffy it almost made me stroke out! >.<
An excellent chapter and I can't wait to see the repurcussions to Harry telling Aimee about his animagus form.
Don't think Fleur would be impressed though...although...;)
Hope you update soon, once again :)
Regards
Immo
JBern replied:
Hope you recovered from that near stroke. Your wait is almost over. New chapter coming soon!~Jim
joeBob posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 10:04am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Excellent! An update and another great chapter. Thank you!
One wonders why HJ's dueling opponents don't work in close and then use their much superior physiques to lay the smack down, literally. ;-)
~~~
Hmmm. This "Flowers for Algernon", Longbottom style, has potential...
After hearing what happened to him, Frank asks for a wand and the vial that had held the elixir. "Yes," he said. "There is only a film but enough for analysis. Dumbledore I require the use of your school laboratories."
A scant five days later, Frank met with HJ and Dumbledore. Mister Longbottom handed HJ a vial and says, "That is for Miss Beaucourt. I have analyzed the elixir and made two more doses. Unfortunately, the effects on my wife, and myself, will fade in four to ten months so excuse me while I first take out some rubbish and then spend as much time with my family, as possible."
Frank disappeared, from Dumbledore's office, with a pop. Dumbledore felt the wards brushed aside and then snap back into place.
One hour later, a dead homunculus appeared on Dumbledore's floor. There was a note spiked to its forehead that read:
"Voldemort is now most sincerely dead. His connection to his horcruxes severed. My wife and I have taken our son to my mother's estate. We will contact you in a day or two."
~~~
Of course, between Super!Frank and Veggie!Frank leaves a lot of room to play with. ;-)
JBern replied:
Intersting narrative with Frank. We'll see shortly. Thanks as always for the reviews.~Jim
Kaerion posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 8:18am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Even when judged against all of the chapters, and not just the other "fillers", this is an excellent one. I really can't imagine that it was possible to do a better job of showing how HJ is maturing and becoming his own man - and not just a slightly modified Harry or James - than you did with his turning down Fleur, the conversation with Remus and how that turned out, and the choice he had to make at the end.
As much as I love the badass-Harry you've written in TML, I have to admit that I like this one even more, and you just keep giving me more and more reasons to feel that way, with every single chapter. And as a quick side-note, getting this one so quickly after your last two updates was a wonderful surprise, so thank you for that!
I'm also *really* hoping we'll get to see more of Perenelle Flamel sometime in the future. She didn't get much screen time, but I really liked what you've done with her (and with Nicholas, even though we only got that from his wife and 'Brian'), and since you've already had her involved with the TWT, I'm hoping she'll show up again (at Harry's victory ceremony, if nothing else ;) ). I can't imagine what she could do to top giving up her last Elixir, but knowing you, you'll think of something!
And I can't believe Harry told his (2nd) biggest secret to Aimee! I didn't really have all that good a grasp on what exactly their relationship was like, before this chapter, but again, you managed to show (not just tell) us their deepening friendship in a wonderful way. I can't imagine we'll be seeing too much of her in the next couple of chapters, but I'm already looking forward to her return, and to seeing how their relationship will continue evolving.
All in all, an amazing chapter; so thank you for sharing, and keep up the great work!
JBern replied:
Thanks as always for the review. I'm getting ready to start the next chapter, so I felt the need to catch up on all my reviews. Lady Flamel will show up at least once more. More coming soon.~Jim
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 8:08am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Now this was a good chapter and I like the look we get at the maturing HJ. He's not just Harry and/or James, he's becoming a synthesis of the two and possilby more than either in the process. I rather suspect that his choice is likely going to influence more in the future than he suspects. For myself, I'd pick Frank Longbottom simply because the circumstances are clearly going to call for the best and best-trained folk if Tommy-boy is to be stopped and then defeated.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. I'm trying to catch up on my replies before starting the next chapter. Thanks for yours.~Jim
M2J MandalorianJedi posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 7:44am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
You know... This is the perfect type of cliff hanger in which you can not only write on fantastic story, but two... Just a suggestion for sometime in the future, but you could conceivablly finish out this story how you have planned and then go back and write an A/U of an A/U to show what MIGHT have happened if Harry made a different choice... Somethings are bound to be better and others worse by a simple choice. Especially one like that...
JBern replied:
I'll consider your suggestion, but I'm more inclined to move forward with other stories...
Thanks for your review. Chapter 19 starting shortly.~Jim
AK posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 7:37am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Happy New year, it's nice of you to give your betas the rest of the year off, I'm sure they will appreciate all the free time :)
JBern replied:
Yeah, they told me how they spent there time off. I can't repeat it....
HopelessFan posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 7:36am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Since it seems everyone is trying to guess who he'll revive i would say its Frank. HJ's memories of lily's betrayal and the remains of his family life don't lend themselves to choosing his wife's friend over a man he knew.
I felt this chapter was slightly weak after the previous one: here harry choices seem.. well, less significant.
last chapter had him really taking decisive command and saving a life in danger. here he's just fooling around with possibilities - no one the reader cares about is on the line.
As a writer i would say this chapter would have been much stronger if there was a larger separation between this and the last - the context makes it hard to live up to his previous actions.
So he admitted to Aimee that he's the pronghorn.. now i'm anticipating him encountering them all again in his form and watching how she reacts.
I like his turning down Fleur and the descriptions of Aimee - as always, you portray strongly and convincingly.
JBern replied:
A fair evaluation. I appreciate the review. Sorry for the delayed response. I was trying to see if I could write drama effectively. Most seemed to like it, so I'll take what lessons I can learn from it and use them to build other plots in this and future stories.
Next chapter starting as soon as I catch up on the replies.~Jim
GinnyLover posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 7:22am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
I love how you are giving your betas the rest of the year off. All 1 day of it ;)
JBern replied:
It's good to be me! Thanks for your review. Next chapter coming soon.~Jim
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 7:01am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Wonderful section, and glad to see that Aimee is slowly recovering, and nice to see that magic isn't an instant cure-all. I have to wonder now who it was that Harry picked, though I'm thinking it was Alice, yes she may not be the best duelist, but Neville needs someone, and a Mum would be best for him imo. Looking forward to this and TML and can't wait to see how things continue to play out here. Glad to see that HJ and Remus are making a bit of positive headway, and that the bridge isn't completely burned.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. Next chapter starting tomorrow.~Jim
ladyimmortal posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 6:51am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
Excellent, excellent story, JB! :D You're such a good writer....
And now I dislike you for that ending. BAD JB! :D
No, really, lovely, lovely update.
JBern replied:
I'm starting chapter 19 tomorrow. Am I GOOD JB now?
Artereus posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 6:44am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
This hands down is one of the best fics I have read.
Excellent characterizations. Engaging plot.
My only gripe (And it really isn't that much of one.) is that you always leave me hungering for more.
You have a lot of talent. An inspiration to the rest of us who merely dabble.
Keep up the good work!
JBern replied:
Thanks for the compliments. Sorry I haven't had a chance to catch up on my replies until now. I'm starting the next chapter of Lie tomorrow.~Jim
Clell65619 posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 6:38am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
- Just beautiful. It will be interesting to see the choice HJ makes, a boy who has, after a fashion, gotten his father back, making the choice between his friends parents.
- I suspect Alice will be the one revived, or at least the one revival is tried on.
- Thank you for this, and all your stories.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. Always nice to hear from other authors that I respect.~Jim
uthamm posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 6:32am for A Prayer for Forgiveness
AAAAHHHH! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Cliffie like that and then tell us you are moving to a different story? You.Are.Awesome.
No clue where you are going with the restoration. My vote is Alice - more to life than fighting, right?
Interesting twist with the widow, nice touch with Remus getting the story out of Sirus and the summary from HJ about the issues with the relationship was very nice.
Well done, thanks for the gift. Looking forward to TML and more of the LIE!
JBern replied:
But now I'm back to this one ... starting tomorrow. Thanks for your review.
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Wednesday 31st December 2008 3:36pm for A Prayer for Forgiveness
JBern replied: