noylj posted a comment on Wednesday 10th October 2012 2:51am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

A wife cheating on her husband with a close personal friend of the husband? What are the odds.

I would trust that Lupin will lose tackle before he shuffles off the his mortal coil?

You write so well you almost made Fleur seem somewhat human.

Shouldn't Harry be looking up ways to destroy 'Geists? He was given a perfectly clear warning!

I think that if I was Harry/James and had to listen to the bovine excrement coming from Bumbles in that so-called heart-to-heart, I would still be in the hospital viewing previous meals. You catch his character very well and the totally creeped-out feeling is much like I got from canon. They man brings a whole new meaning to "creepy."

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Tuesday 10th February 2009 10:15pm for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Great chapter. I think how you dealt with Dumbles finally finding out was very good. It was anti-climactic for HJ but I think its kind of good that it was. Its nice to see you not using dumbles to make a big deal and a confrontation about it. In both your previous stories the relations between them have been strained so I think its good that your not going down exactly the same route.

Thanks for writing.

Monkey

JBern replied:

Thanks for reading and reviewing.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Tuesday 2nd December 2008 5:08am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Congrats on the sale of Existence. Sorry the review's been so long in coming. I love the way that you deflect the conflict of the last chapter so ably. I've got to adore the Hat as usual. First he takes a swing at Fawkes then he reveals the truth about foul Phineas.

The advice scene with Harry and Neville is just brilliant. He definitely is a rogue. LOL at the award and Harry wearing everything fireproof before telling Fleur she danced with Monsieur Pronghorn. The fact that Harry is so aware of the emotional connection and its darker possibilities just adds to the fun of this chapter. You're wrong though, I could have done with a bit of action to blast Snape around. Great chapter.

Oh and Monkey says he will be reading and reviewing just as soon as he gets a chance. Apparently I lead him a merry dance and keep him from his computer more often than is helpful to fanfic reading continuity.

JBern replied:

Just catching up on review replies.   Thanks for yours.~Jim

fyrecat posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2008 2:13am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Finally, I can offer some (mildly)
constructive criticism!

I'm sure it's just typos, but here it is;
"Now that or cards have been revealed, ..."
Should be "...our cards..."

"I fight my way to the people who are solely interested in seeing the prized Pensieve..."
Should be
"I fight my way through..."

"And what is there punishment."
Should be:
"And what is their punishment."
***
Other than minor editorial items, this is, once again, a fantastic chapter!
I really like how HJ and Fleur's relationship is beginning to flower. (If you'll forgive the pun.)
I also like this "I'm Just a man" version of Dumbledore. It's a refreshing change.

I look forward to more updates soon (hint hint, nudge nudge.)

Speaking of which, Congrats on selling *another* story! I look forward to reading more of your work.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the corrections.   I'll do my best to incorporate them at some point.~Jim

fanfic789 posted a comment on Wednesday 12th November 2008 3:41pm for Dancing in the Whirlwind

i think that this is a very good story, however please update sooner. also, when are you going to update the bundle in the jungle story? that one is even better!

JBern replied:

Well, I do have a bunch of things going on.   I update when and where I can.~Jim

SelenaWolf posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2008 12:59pm for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Wow. Your particular brand of humor always leaves me laughing like a maniac so very, very often. Between Hat in this story, and Hack in 'Turn me Loose', I've been grinning all day.

Just discovered this story today, and read it for hour to get to this part. Can't wait for more!

(PS - Will Moody be showing up again? I adore him, and you made him so funny in 'Turn me Loose'.)

JBern replied:

Thank you for the review.   I'm catching up on my replies - finally.   I hope you enjoyed the just released chapter 17.~Jim

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Sunday 9th November 2008 1:04pm for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Wow! I can't wait for the next chapter. Nice handling of "Fleur and HJ", I wonder where it's going to go from here?

JBern replied:

Sorry for the delay in my reply.   I hope you enjoyed the just released chapter 17.~Jim

Sarah813 posted a comment on Wednesday 5th November 2008 9:07am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

i have a question, how did lily betray james? was it the whole leaving him and taking harry or...? my email address is ssc1991 at hotmail dot com. (just in case it doesnt say or something)

JBern replied:

She slept with Remus in a moment of weakness.~Jim

The Crow posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2008 10:57pm for Dancing in the Whirlwind

No real errors as far as I could see, although I really should go to bed soon.
I liked it, but it was definitely another one of your "bridge" chapters, keeping us up to speed with everything.
I was expecting the shit to hit the fan, but there you go - expect the unexpected. I see trouble ahead...

I'll echo everyone else surprise at lack of unrepentant Albus. I'm glad really, it would be too much more angst and just head down a varied manipulative Dumbledore avenue. I like the respect you gave the reader with Darkness and it's good to see an inbetween.
Someone you wouldn't neccesarily confide in, but can share info with.

I'm not really feeling the Harry/Fleur thing, to be honest, yet. It may be because of the forewarning and everything. I think there's more room for Harry/Hermione with their chemistry, but I can see that it's a gradual shift and that's cool.
It was interesting meeting the other Veela, and straightening out the bloodlines, I'm still unsure on whom the pureblood Veela's partner is? (I'm really Glad there's no pure male Veela)
Although I like how Harry and Fleur are bonding through the similar alienation eachother feels.

JBern replied:

There are a few errors in there.   Plenty of trouble ahead.   I haven't been really pushing the Harry/Fleur thing so much in this story as trying to develop it.   After all, he is in a 14 year old body, making his struggle a decidedly uphill one.

Thanks for the review.~Jim

Asad posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2008 3:36pm for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Interesting chapter, as always. However, I am confused as to what exactly Snape was trying to ask at the start of the chapter when Harry was under the influence of Veritaserum.

Keep up the good work.

JBern replied:

Snape was trying to force HJ to blurt out where that notorious Sirius Black was.

Thanks for the review.~Jim

Andrewsquill posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2008 3:00pm for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Very well done! I really liked the bit with HJ giving advice to his friends. Getting Hermione to ask Ron to dance should be a big help to their relationship.

Nice spot with the snobby Veela and Viktor. The part with the connection with Fleur was also really good.

AndrewsQuill

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'm glad you enjoyed it!~Jim

azrael91 posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2008 8:27am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

A good chapter overall, I know you're still really busy right now. I didn't think the conversation with Dumbledore was written as well as it could have been, but other than that it was good.

JBern replied:

Fair enough.   I just didn't want to do the usual "spleen venting" that is all too common when some version of Harry confronts some version of Dumbledore.   HJ knows exactly why he was left with the Dursleys.   He accepted it.   He knows why Dumbledore always stuck up for Snape, but also sees that Snape is now wearing out his welcome.

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2008 2:47am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Less fireworks from the revelation than I expected. The talk with the headmaster was also different; I did expect an unrepentant Dumbles. Thanks for the surprise.

The dance was nice. Loved the connection between Harry and Fleur.

Looking forward to more. Thanks for the update.

And congratulations on your sale.

Tom A.

JBern replied:

I'm glad you liked the "tired old man" version of Dumbledore looking back at a lifetime of missteps.

Regards,

Jim

joeBob posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2008 1:18am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Another fan-tabulous chapter. This story is such a joy to read.

It didn't even seem to need editing except for an occasional typo and this bit: "The quick check of my word alliance shows..."

Thanks for the update.

JBern replied:

I'll have to go through and correct a few things.   Thanks for bringing it up.~Jim

CosmosGravitation posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2008 2:52pm for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Entertaining, even without much action. A little rough around the edges, but I put that down to being unbetaed. Still my favorite fan fiction WIP, and no other fic really comes close.

Vastly prefer this Dumbledore to the manipulative Bungle/Turn me Loose Dumbledore. He's just much more enjoyable to read and seems much closer to canon Dumbledore.

Love how the Harry and Hermione dynamic is developing. You can really see how Harry maturing would cause them to be even better friends. If you had the underwater task, I suspect Hermione might even be the thing Harry would miss the most. Either that or the Hat, but missing an inanimate magical object more than a person would give the impression Harry lacks basic human empathy and emotions, sentient Hat or no sentient Hat.

Fleur seemed a little too tolerant towards Harry, pretty much to the point of being friendly, considering last chapter she was pretty pissed at him. I thought Harry would have to give a half-hearted apology or something before she'd soften again. Maybe for that reason their moment at the end seemed a bit forced to me. They've had that type of conversation before anyway. The "I receive unwanted attention, you receive unwarranted attention, so we're similar" kind of thing.

A little disturbed by Harry continuing to make passes at Aimee even though he is well aware she has a serious boyfriend. It's one thing to attend the ball with her, it's another to blatantly hit on her. I like Aimee too, but one should draw the line somewhere.

The Veela genealogy was an excellent inclusion. The best explanation I've seen thus far.

Here's to hoping you'll decide to update this before Turn me Loose.

JBern replied:

No, I'll be on TML 10 in a day or two.   Thanks for the compliments and the criticisms.   Glad you liked my take on Veelas.~Jim

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2008 11:20am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Huh. I'm kinda surprised HJ ever told DD the truth. :-)

Good chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.

JBern replied:

HJ figured it had to come out some time and right when Snape is caught conspiring with Karkaroff is about as good as any.~Jim

Bedrup posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2008 10:32am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

You uphold a very standard of storytelling in all your rales. This is awesome. Really like the report you ´ve got going between HJ and Hermione.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.~Jim

Zicou posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2008 7:32am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Great, great and very great!
Continuuuuuuuuuuuue!
Z.

JBern replied:

I'll trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

drkjester posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2008 7:01am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

Love the chapter. I have missed this story and found myself jumping for joy when I received the update. Keep it up. The moment between Fluer and Harry was incredible.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I figured that I should at least cast off this "ship" at some point.~Jim

amulder posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2008 6:49am for Dancing in the Whirlwind

second read through found a minor typo: "And what is there punishment" should be "their"

...art

JBern replied:

Yeah, that happens to me more times than I'd like.   Thanks.~Jim