The Lie I've Lived
Dancing in the Whirlwind
By JBern
Reviews
DiscountNinja posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 11:06am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Good one :) nice paced intruige and romance, as well as an everpresent note of subterfuge - I like it :P
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed it. In these tough economic times, when does a discount ninja become a free ninja?
MOD posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 11:02am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Another excellent chapter! Do keep 'em coming...
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you liked it.~Jim
Crys posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 10:47am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
The image of Hat/Golem batting around at Fawkes is quite amusing.
So, he tells AD the secret. Hmm. Wonder if that'll blow up in his face.
Like the tidbits of veela physiology you sprinkled in there.
Curious to hear the fallout (if any) for Harry's bombshell against Snape and Karkaroff.
Continues to be a fun story.
JBern replied:
Always good to hear from you. Hope all is well.~Jim
amulder posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 10:42am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Like it. The story continues to unfold well. I was a bit surprised to see how well the conversation with Dumbledore went... I didn't really expect Harry to come clean like that.
I like the introspection as well. It is good to see Harry himself struggling with what/who he has become, and deciding how to move forward.
Looking back I think during the summer he swung very much to the playboy end of things, and now the pendulum is coming more to center. He sure is maturing, which is basically mandatory.
I am curious if an aging potion is in the cards or not. It would help him be taken serious by Fleur and maybe by others. But it would also serve as a barrier between him and "Harrys" friends. Would he really want that?
thanks for sharing
...art
JBern replied:
Good question on the aging potion. He may start gradually using them. Glad you enjoy the character development.~Jim
gadriam posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 10:30am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Damn. I did not see anything like that coming. I think i repeated that phrase at least four times in this chapter.
I did sort of expect the arrogant little prick to capitalise on some complicated seductive scheme against Fleur. The last pieces of the fic just bowled me over. You added a seriousness to the character that i imagine James never had the time to develop in his lifetime. Now, go ahead and have him turn Aimee's offer down and score some more points.
Whenever you find the time to update, I'll be right here.
g
JBern replied:
Glad after all this time that I can keep you guessing where I'm headed. I put up an original piece on this site today. I hope you enjoy.~Jim
Ben10 posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 10:15am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
JP really seems to be maturing.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. More coming soon.~Jim
hordac85 posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 10:09am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Excellent.Keep it up.
JBern replied:
Thanks. I'll try.~Jim
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 10:03am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Wow. A fantastic part here, from the dance there at the end, and how there was a spark with Harry and Fleur, from the discussion between Dumbledore and Harry, where we see the man that Albus has become, one who is getting older every day, and has a life full of more regrets it seems than he'd like to have. Well done!
JBern replied:
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I like to vary my characterizations between stories, so that I'm not always writing Manipulative Dumbledore and such.
Just look at my 3 versions of Fleur. I'm guessing HJ would have his hands full with Fleur from Bungle/TML.
Mark Blaine posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 9:55am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Very good. Liked the Aimee/HJ banter. One nit - "And what is there punishment." should be "And what is their punishment."
JBern replied:
Thanks. There are a few of those types of errors in this chapter - a reminder that I'm getting better, but still not quite there yet.~Jim
Shepherd posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 9:33am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Great chapter. Even without a single fight or stunning revelation, you've managed to make it riveting without loosing momentum.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you liked it even without my usual dose of chaos and mayhem. They'll be back next chapter.~Jim
morriganscrow posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 9:15am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
The sands are shifting under his feet, and through the hourglass, and Harry knows it.
Excellent chapter. The "moment" with Fleur was perfect, as were the ones with Hermione and the charming Pauline.
As always, looking forward to the next update.
PS: Congrats on all your publishing news. You deserve it!
JBern replied:
Thank you. Hopefully, I'll be able to get Dead Eye out there soon and really start making a name for myself.~Jim
DrT posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 9:12am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
RE: Dumbles, that was v. understanding of HJ. Nice to see a little thaw in the HJ/Fleur relationship! As usual, Mr Hat was insightful as well as a bit vulgar
JBern replied:
HJ could have done the usual spleen venting, but with JP's memories, he knows all about the blood protections and has a better insight as to why JP and Lily made them. He also has a perspective on how badly the war was going just before LV was defeated in 1981.
Glad you liked the chapter.~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 9:08am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Great chapter. I am surprised that HJ revealed himself. I am curious to see how his relationship with Dumbledore progresses. I would think that Harry's life with the Dursleys would be the elephant in the room. Perhaps more immediate concerns dominated the discussion. Thanks for writing. W.
JBern replied:
Dumbledore will be somewhat be hampered by agreements to not provide the champions with direct assistance for the duration of the tournament. See my answer to Dr. T above about the Dursleys.~Jim
Viridian posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 8:57am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
The Hat's rant was just plain awesome. I think every great wizard needs someone like that around to point out their feet of clay. "died behind that desk in a pool of her own bodily fluids" indeed.
But, you know, I think in that moment ole Hat just revealed a little more about himself than he realized, too. It just kills him to watch that happen, doesn't it? Watching headmasters he's come to know end their lives (some of them in foolish ways) and not be able to do a damn thing about it...
JBern replied:
Glad you caught that.
But now, Hat has a body! Look out world!
Hope all is well down in GA.~Jim
Cuey posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 8:51am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Great chapter Jim.
I was a little surprised that Harry revealed his secret to Dumbledore, but it had to be done sometime. I thought Dumbledore's reaction was dead-on, you can't just believe school-children at their word but once it was proven he just rolled with it. I imagine that after studying magic for several years you learn to get over surprising revelations pretty quickly.
Are you finished with the Yule Ball? I can't complain if you are, as there was a lot of important bits of character development packed in already and it was a good bit of fun to read. That being said, I think there is still room for a(n attempted) Weasley prank or some other sort of shocking event. To help liven up the party, you know.
JBern replied:
There's a little bit of cleanup from the ball left in chapter 17. We'll see how it goes when I start outlining it, but I do need to do something with all those dragons in the forest soon...
vasilis01 posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 8:22am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Excellent update though it feels like something is left unsaid. Anyway keep writing and give us more updates.
JBern replied:
Thanks. I'll do my best to get some more stuff out .~Jim
ernichol posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 7:41am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
A good wrap up and character development chapter. If this story is a fancy dinner, we've had the wine and the appetizers, but now i am invested in the characters and ready for the main course.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. More coming soon.~Jim
Alex Mcpherson posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 7:35am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
you know, i like this version of dumbledore over the recent and not-so-recent spates of fanfic'ers writing him as a dark ravenclaw.
Not only that, but your characterisations of the others are top notch - if those works of yours that you're trying to get published as written with as much care and attention as this, then i'd be surprised they havent been published yet.
This is the sort of stuff that was missing from GoF - a series that should have been written for its aging audience, *not* for a set age group.
now i'm going to continue reading a story i paused in the middle of for this chapter ;)
JBern replied:
I sincerely hope Dead Eye impresses you when it finally gets published. I look forward to your comments on it.~Jim
dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 7:33am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
Excellent work, I'm surprised the hat let go the comment about who had a bigger pensieve.
JBern replied:
Looking back, I should have made that joke...
Thanks for the review.~Jim
msgupy posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2008 11:09am for Dancing in the Whirlwind
JBern replied: