BCM posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 9:46am for Every Rose has a Thorn

That broom race was on par with your fight scenes. In other words, it was a hell of a lot more fun to read than most fight scenes I've read. I could actually see the race as it happened. Your fight scenes are superior to those of any fanfic author I can think of, and easily on par with my favorite published authors.

The whole Peeping Harry thing was quite amusing, especially since he's planning an encore. Fleur's reaction if/when she finds out should be even more better. I'm looking forward to a bloody screaming row. Literally. I'm betting the two of them will exchange quite a few creative curses, both magical and not. :)

JBern replied:

Glad you liked the broom race.   Hopefully when my first novel comes out you can say that it rivals other published authors.

He's not planning on and encore!   She invited him back!   That's his story and he's sticking to it!~Jim

Mark Blaine posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 8:59am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Good work. So, Fleur's concept of fair play pretty much matches Krum's.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Next chapter in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

DobbyElfLord posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 7:46am for Every Rose has a Thorn

I just finished the second week of a three week audit, so it was awesome to find the new chapter posted. An excellent chapter all around.

The similiarity between Harry and Fleur was interesting. We, the readers, know Harry and why he sometimes acts the way he does. But to an outsider, I wonder if he would be that much different from Fleur. The insights from the grotto and Aimee's comments were very well done!

Rick

JBern replied:

Hope the final week of your audit goes well.   You make a valid point about HJ and Fleur being similar.   Glad my work continues to impress you.~Jim

jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 6:27am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Outstanding chapter!!!! I like the Dueling and I can't wait to see what Harry does!! The Knife thing sounds very interesting, I hope Harry wins!! I loved the broom race especially what happened to Harry which sounds exactly like something Krum would do! Any chance for Harry to take Hermione to the Yule ball? Do keep up keep the outstanding work and update soon please!!!!:):):):)

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter so much.   HJ's date isn't set in stone yet.   Right now only the majority of girls in Gryffindor except Hermione have been eliminated.~Jim

Muggleborn Prince posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 5:10am for Every Rose has a Thorn

P.S. It would be awesome if you play Krun and the twins against each other with some big prank. And then HJ throws in pranks and makes it look like the other did it..

JBern replied:

I think HJ will be unleashing havoc on the Durmstrang students and the Slytherins shortly.   If a couple of red headed twins get caught in the crossfire, so be it.~Jim

Muggleborn Prince posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 5:08am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Great chapter as usual, glad for the update. Keep writing awesomely.


-Ronny.

JBern replied:

Thanks.~Jim

Meghan posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 4:50am for Every Rose has a Thorn

:D You know how much I love this story. Brief interlude where I wax poetic... haha... now back to the regularly scheduled begging... MORE PLEASE! :D

JBern replied:

Does it hurt when you wax poetic and then have to pull the wax off?

Manatheron posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 4:25am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Excellent work my friend! A rather stunning chapter if I do say so myself,

I have to wonder though, if they have access to a penseive, even if Dumbledore doesn't want to show everyone his, why not review harry and Krum's memories of the race? Krum would no doubt decline, but harry would probably be willing to show it (or at least bluff to piss Krum off)

JBern replied:

Pensieve memories can be altered and technically whatever Krum did to him likely wasn't a foul by the rules governing the race.   He just didn't want to do it to ruin his "rep," if you will.~Jim

Disobedience posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 3:08am for Every Rose has a Thorn

A nice start to a more interesting TriWizard Tournament. I was hoping for a bit of light hearted pranking against the Weasleys, but perhaps you'll get them and Krum at the same time in a future chapter. I hope you have a nice bit of vengeance sketched out for the bastard!Krum you've chosen to write. Broken bones a must, I think.

The dueling competition sounds like it's rigged. Interesting to see what Harry can do.

The Puzzle Room sounds like a fine place for quite a bit of cheating by the contestants. Hopefully HJ can manage to prove some cheating by Snape/Karkaroff and their Death Eaters Lite.

Thanks again!

JBern replied:

HJ delivered his warning to the twins last chapter.   The dueling should prove interesting if I can bring what I have in mind to the keyboard.

Jim

atlantis-rob posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 1:44am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Sweet! Awesome chapter, great job on the bit with fleur and the whole race was exciting. The hat rocked as usual, and the bit here in announcements was cool. Harry, should really cook up something good for this like an atomic bomb spell hehehe. A little fission is good for handling soooo much.

CHEERS!!!!

JBern replied:

Well, I think Atom bombs would be just a bit out of his league, but I've got some other things in mind.~Jim

JaCee2u posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 1:28am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Excellent broom race, although I would have liked to see someone (anyone, really) get smashed into the quidditch stands and tag the judges. ("Oops. So sorry Professors, you should really be a bit more careful with where you sit...")

I really like the thought that Karkaroff has opened the field by saying that if it's not in the Championship's rules, it's fair. There's so many possibilities at that point.

On other matters, congrats on getting Bungle & TML translated, both are excellent tales, and extremely well written. I'm looking forward to the next chapter of TML, but understand that you have other things that have to be done in real life.

JBern replied:

It's not just what's not in the rules, but what else might be in the rules...more on that later...

TML 5 is in progress.~Jim

Ltank687 posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 10:59pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

AWESOME! love it! update! ;)

JBern replied:

Thanks~Jim

The Crow posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 10:37pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

I'm definately loving the action, and the race got the blood pumping.
Duels etc whoah.

I was hoping Harry would wipe the floor with them but thats just because I'm looking through his eyes - your way is better, as long as someone gives him some credit. He clearly demonstrating phenomonal talents.

Still there do seem to be a few challenges out there - the staves for instance, if it is physical.
Is Harry still up for a growth spurt? Will he use the six weeks and hire a personal trainer? lol

Competition sounds intense. It's a fun read and nice to be out of the angst for a little while.

JBern replied:

Where's the fun if HJ just steamrolls the competition?   That wouldn't be as interesting as what I have in mind.   Remember these aren't just 5 random 17-18 yr olds.   They are 5 of the best from the top schools in Europe.~Jim

Mesterio posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 9:15pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Great chapter all around, the one part that bothered me though...you pulled that Beowulf crap out because the movie just released didn't you? BAAAAAAAD.

Aside from that great chapter, loved your depiction of the race and great imagination for the next challenge...could have thought of a different objective at the end though.

JBern replied:

Actually, I haven't seen the movie, but was looking for a European tale that would have the appeal of Merlin to the Durmstrang folks.   In Bungle in the Jungle, I had Luna mention that the Quibbler ran several stories indicating that Merlin was Wiglaf.   Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim

Stygius posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 9:02pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

great... and i find my self strangely happy that HJ did not win the first task... this way he can win the big prize (at it were).... looking forward to the duel, especially with Athena, she looks to be an interesting character... as well as both Aimee and Fleur...

looking forward to what HJ comes up for the task ahead, what will he make... etc.. will he enlist the help of the weasleys twins?...

JBern replied:

It wouldn't be that fun if HJ just ran over the competition.   Odds are even if HJ could have help on the Puzzle room he wouldn't ask the twins.~Jim

Jon posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 8:24pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Oh, and is there any chance of HJ covertly using his wandless magic? I'll love to see him punch Krum with a wandless banisher in the gut, either in the duel or staff fight! =D
Hope to hear some mention of Ron soon..

JBern replied:

There will be a magical component to the staff fight.   I haven't finalized my thoughts at this time, but a staff will essentially be a large crude ineffective wand.   Many have made the comparison of pistols versus rifles for the wand and staff.   I'll probably go the route of pistol versus musket in this instance where staves were used until wands became affordable to the masses.~Jim

Jon posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 8:19pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

3 time champion duelist? Sounds like a handy tutor for HJ as he seeks to improve his record against V.D.Mort. =p

Both Turn Me Loose and Lie I lived rocks!
Eagerly awaiting updates~

JBern replied:

Only if HJ has the highest point total out of the 10 wand and 5 staff duels.~Jim

The Resident posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 7:48pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Well, one point is better than none. I'm looking forward to the dueling competition. I'd like to see Harry wipe the smirks off a few faces. The 'quest' for the dagger ought to be quite interesting as well. As I've reached the end of the posted chapters, I must wait and gnaw my fingernails until you can see your way clear to write and post the next chapter. I can only urge you to do so and caution you not to sacrifice quality for speed.

JBern replied:

I recommend eating cheetos.   That way when you're gnawing on the fingernails there's some cheese flavoring to them.~Jim

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 6:35pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Was "Boudicca and the Iceni" supposed to be a link? It's missing the href, if so.

Nice introduction to Fleur's softer side, such as it is.

Good broom race. Disappointing for HJ, but realistic.

Staff fighting? Inspired by the Durmstrang entrance in the movie, I assume? You're creating some back story tradition to justify it, it appears.

Good chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.

JBern replied:

Don't know why it came out looking like a link.   Fleur's very soft side I might add.   See a few answers above about the history behind staves.~Jim

joeBob posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 6:18pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Another fabulous chapter, thanks!
I'll definitely be buying anything original you publish -- maybe an extra copy for the library too.

You asked for feedback on the broom race. It was good but I have yet to read ANYONE describe what it must really be like on a broom.
Alas, most fanfic writers must have never flown in an open-cockpit stunt plane.
The books, and all fanfic, get flying all wrong. The movie is more realistic in that it shows the use of goggles and flying hoods.
According to canon, racing brooms top out well over 150 miles per hour. Keep in mind that this would mean a slipstream four times worse than a serious (75 mph) hurricane (drag increases as the square of velocity). This is also significantly faster than terminal velocity for the rider.

So, what are the key things missed? Slipstream effects and G forces.
(1) Slipstream means that Harry's glasses would not stay on.
(2) Riders would quickly go blind without goggles.
(3) Dust or an insect would cause serious injury on exposed skin. Even the sweat off a competitor or a rain drop would sting like heck.
(4) Breathing would be difficult. If the flyer was careless, he could even damage his lungs!
(5) Hearing would be greatly reduced with loud constant noise in the ears. Depending on which way your head was pointed huge positive and then huge negative pressures on the eardrums would be generated. Turning your head risks rupturing your tympanum!
(6) There would be a constant, over one G, force trying to push you backwards on your broom. Accelerations would push this up to 3 or 4 G's. Try staying on a stick at 1 G horizontal, it's hard.
(7) Turns at speed would pull debilitating G's. Things like corkscrews, especially so. Flyers must compensate or crash.
For example, at 140 knots (about 161 mph) and only 2 G's, a flyer would have a turning radius of over 1000 feet. At 6 G's this radius would be 308 feet.
Note that these radii are larger than a quidditch pitch and approach the size of Hogwarts grounds.
(8) An untrained flyer, without a G suit, will lose mental capacity starting at 4 G's. Blackout comes at 6 G's.
Using the AGSM (anti-G straining maneuver) and a G suit, even professional, athletic fliers still start passing out at 9 G's.
Clearly, the maneuvers described in the books and shown in the movies are impossible. No one mentions G-blackout, the AGSM, or G-compensating spells!
(9) G forces on an injury would be unbearable. Harry broke his leg, right? Every turn would be like hanging a 60 to 200 pound weight off his foot! That might color his memory of the race, eh? ;-)

Anyway, the descriptions of the other tasks sound interesting. The duels are a little confusing though. Karkaroff says that five duels will be fought on the weekend. Shouldn't this be five ROUNDS of duels (three simultaneous duels each). If every contestant is to face every other contestant, it is the only way.

Finally, very fun and inventive story and I like what you are doing with Neville and the other characters (except that Draco and Snivelus haven't suffered enough).
Thanks!

JBern replied:

Thank you for all the information about realistic broom racing.   Yes there are 5 rounds of dueling during the first dueling competition with wands, 5 more with the staff in a few weeks and then a repeat of wand dueling in a few months.

HJ's first opponent ...Fleur.~Jim