luisfe posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 6:06pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Great story, definitely love the new way for an independent Harry to develop.

In the naked veela scene, the witch in question mentions the "spiders"... how does she know of them? My first guess would be the giant spiderwebs, but seeing how aggressive the acromantulas are I'd say that being close enough to see the webs would mean that she's in a very "not nice" place

Broom races was very nice, though I felt a bit disappointed when I read the part "Provided all handsremain on the broom shaft, bumps and contact are legal; a grab is not.", as I kinda expected a Krum kicking someone and sending them into a tailspin, following the letter of the law :P

How are the point totals so far? Fleur obviously has 10, HJ has 1 and Manos 0, but what about Krum, Diggory and Beaucourt? Or did I miss that? Also, how are the tasks "determined"? It seems that each school is sort of in charge of three tasks (Beauxbatons for the race and 2 more, Durmstrang for the Duelling and Room of Ingenuity and one more, Hogwarts yet to be seen) and the tenth and final task is made by all three schools?

Quick question though... IIRC McGonagall, along with the three other Heads of Houses, was in the Infirmary when HJ was healing from the worst of his encounter with Barty Jr, so she had to know that HJ beat/killed a DE... knowing that, even though she's bound to secrecy, why would she instruct HJ in the basics of dueling or defensive dueling when his continued existence means that he at least has the basics?

Also, what type of rules can we expect in the wand duels? No Unforgivables are a given I take it, but it seems that Dark Magic is fin, seeing as Hermione is concerned about it. The duels seem to be till they are unable to continue or yield, and while I'm curious about what'd happen to the "winner" if he accidentally (or not) killed his opponent I think it's still too early in the story to have someone kick it - specially seeing as how the most likely candidate is Krum by HJ :P

Maybe during the duel a stray curse knocks into Draco/Snape... would be fun :)

About the Room of Ingenuity a couple of things are still fuzzy to me, which is likely my fault: how does neutralizing the fire help to get to the second half of the room? It seems that you'd still have to go across the ground to reach the water, unless you started walking on the ceiling. I look forward seeing how each of the six makes it past those obstacles, but that's probably something which will be in chapter 12 or 13, as there are duels and Yule Balls and the other Interschool competitions to get through! Though if HJ could just make a portkey to get to the other side of the room bypassing everything, while everyone else gets mauled by everything in the room... hmmm :P

phew! that's a lot of questions ^^() anyways, as I think I've said in the first paragraph, great story, love it, want to understand more about it and it's inner logic (hence the questions) :P It's a very pleasurable read.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the amount of effort in your review.   As for Fleur knowing about the spiders, it can be assumed that the visiting students and staff were given reasons why the forbidden forest is forbidden.   She had summoned her grotto only a couple of hundred yards inside the forest - just far enough to be out of sight.

Krum body checked Aimee early on and he flew close enoug to HJ to keep his thumb around his broom shaft while his other four fingers ripped twigs out of HJ's broom.

McG can assume that HJ knows how to fight, not duel.   The rules will be no spells with intent to maim, permanently injure, or kill.

No portkey inside the Puzzle Room, sorry.~Jim

uberwald posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 5:12pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

you carried it off well. i enjoyed this chapter very much

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Next update in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

Sterling posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 4:58pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Thanks for the update! I always enjoy your writing and this story is one of my up and coming favorites. It has some very fresh plot points. I look forward to your next chapter.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.   Next update in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

Greg Johnson posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 4:29pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Another great chapter! Can't wait for the next one.

I really enjoyed the broom race and am not that surprised at what Krum did. I'm looking forward to Harry's rebuttal.

Keep up the good work.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Next chapter in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

dave gerecke posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 4:22pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

What a great chapter.
The broom race was extremely well thought out.
dave

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.~Jim

delta16669 posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 4:15pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

The broom race was sick. I cant wait for Krum to be decimated.

JBern replied:

I'll assume sick is a good thing.   In that case glad you liked it.~Jim

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 3:46pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Interesting broom race you wrote, I do like the fact that HJ gave it his all, even if he didn't win. The situation with Hermione and Ron seems as unsettled as always; I hope he improves matters with Hermione but I've very mixed feelings as to whether Ron's "friendship" is really worth it.

The next few tasks all sound quite challenging. I wonder how long it'll be before Hermione starts strategizing the Puzzle Room? Meanwhile, methinks HJ needs to improve his dueling skills with staffs.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   HJ has mixed feelings about Ron as well.   I hope you enjoy what I have planned coming up.~Jim

metrobluejay posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 2:31pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Sorting Hat is a riot, glad you put him like that. Overall good story, keep it coming.

JBern replied:

I truly enjoy writing the Hat.   It is a unique character.~Jim

phoenixblade2 posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 1:07pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

I'm a bit disappointed that Harry lost the broom race, but it was very interesting to read. Can't wait to Harry melts Fleur's ice

JBern replied:

Where's the fun if he just steamrolls the competition?   Next chapter in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

thewisesirivanthes posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 1:05pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

I really enjoyed the broom race and the maturity of how HJ gets his revenge on those who screw with him. I am wondering if the staves used in the second round will be magically or purely physical in nature.

By the way nice work on character development and for coming up with the best origin for house-elfs to date!

JBern replied:

Why couldn't the elves be imps bound into servitude?   It sounded like a good plan when I came up with it.   There will likely be a magical component to the staff fight.   Next chapter in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

drewz05 posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 1:03pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

Love this chapter. Thsnks for updating so quickly. Like I said before, I think this is your best story and I can't wait to see what happens next.

JBern replied:

Next update in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

kainboa posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 12:39pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

great chapter as usual, can't wait to see what happens next.

keep up the great work :)

JBern replied:

Glad you enjoyed this.   Next chapter in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

Black Dragon Knight posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 12:17pm for Every Rose has a Thorn

You did a nice job with the broom race. I'm liking how you're showing that "Tinkerbell" is more than just a cold hearted bitch too.

I also liked how Harry wants to tell Hermione, but doesn't want to put her or him in danger by telling her the full truth.

I'm looking forward to the dueling.

JBern replied:

I want Fleur to be a complex character and not just a sex kitten.   Next chapter in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

gadriam posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 11:37am for Every Rose has a Thorn

As always, a beautiful peace of action, interspersed with incredible Still Lifes. The scene with Fleur and the Pronghorn etched itself into my mind, and not just for the naked chick, either. The Bitchqueen needed a touch of kindness to become real, and you delivered. I really enjoyed the race, and his comment to the press was brilliant. He's still too cocky for his own good, and not too likeable, but he's at least less of a prat these days. I like arrogant HJ, but there's enough confrontations as it is in the storyline, and some balance would be nice. Ah well. Looking forward to the next one, whichever story it may be.

g

JBern replied:

Part of HJ's charm is he isn't as likeable as most Harry Potters out there, but he has a take no prisoners attitude that should endear him to you.   Still the more injuries that pile up, the more HJ will get his cockiness beaten out of him.   TML 5 in 1-2 weeks Lie 11 in 3-4.~Jim

Jizzle posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 11:24am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Man, another great chapter. The broom race was both fun and exciting, and I love that you had Harry not win. Most independent, powerful Harrys you run across do not finish second to last in competitions. It's a brave, realistic, and very interesting move. Kudos.

I also have to applaud the scene between Harry and Hermione. It was different from what I expect from you in the best possible way. I expect (and get consistantly) a badass, wisecracking Harry battling his way through imaginative foes and realistic wizarding politics on his path of just being awesome. This scene was genuinely sweet and rather touching. And sure, I've seen sweet and touching from you before, but this was particularly well done, and it was with a non love interest.

Hermione offering to give up her short term dream and "place in the spotlight" and Harry insisting that she take it was just so well done. The reference to one of the better canon moments was perfect, and neither character was overly sappy or OOC at all. It was just this shining moment of true friendship, and I loved it. Maybe I'm rambling about this one little scene for a bit too long, but it surprised me, evoked an emotional reaction (and an emotion I didn't expect from this fic to boot) and it reminded of the things that made me love HP canon in the first place. (Before the last two books really shook things up in that awful way of theirs.) Probably the three things I enjoy most when I find them in fanfiction, and they were all there. So great job on that, and thank you.

Other stuff I noted: beginning of the chapter was a bit of the "what's this now" kind of thing, but the confusion cleared pretty quickly, and it was a solid scene. Actually benefited from the brief disorientation since I imagine being an animal is a little disorienting. The line about padfoot and rejuvenation potions cracked me up. The house elves as imps idea was intriguing, and I look forward to seeing how it's built upon. The scene with the head girl was rewarding to me in showing how HJ is his own person (again) and moreover showing up a misogynistic asshole. (I loved Thelma and Louise mostly on the rapist getting shot and shit blowing up) HJ eviscerating Krum should be hilarious and rewarding to see. The room task was cool enough on its own, but this enchanter and brewing element is especially exciting. With Dobby fetching materials, a thousand year old asshat (hehe) providing infor and ideas, and HJ providing power and that pranker's charm? I can't wait to see what they cook up.

So thanks for the chapter and I can't wait to see what you come up with next, for any story. Happy writing!

JBern replied:

Well I have to say thanks for a long review on your part.   My goal in writing my stories is if there is ever a poll for fanfics you'd most like to see turned into movies that this would be a strong contender, though I think it would take alot to trump all the insane action in Bungle in the Jungle.

Considering how poorly I'm treating Hermione in the other story, I'm certain most people didn't expect  that scene out of me.   Each story I write, I want Harry to be different, his friends be a little different and someone to be really different (in this case the Sorting Hat, in Darkness it was Voldemort and Pettigrew, in Bungle/TML it's Luna) but still believable.

Apparently the only constant in my stories as pointed out to me is that Harry always seems to encounter Fleur naked at some point.   I might even have to keep that as a running gag.

Next chapter of this one is 3-4 weeks out.~Jim

brrt posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 11:23am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Wow. Just wow. The broom race was handled well beyond my greatest expectations, and definitely felt gritty and real.

I really like the concept of the 'Puzzle Room' challenge, as all aspects of magical achievement/study should be incorporated in the Tournament.

The potions lab at HJ's disposal will be the planning ground for quite a few interesting twists I'm sure.

I do hope that there are a few restricted brews, such as the Luck Potion. This potion, along with some others, are a bit of a all-purpose solution that takes away from the Ingenuity that is the point of the challenge.

I'm very much looking forward to the duels and hope that JP's playfulness shines through, because some of HJ's opponents could do with a bit of public embarrassment.

Looking forward to more!

JBern replied:

Well, as I recall it takes 6 months to brew the Felix potion.   They only have 6 weeks.   Glad you liked the broom race and that you've found the puzzle room concept just as interesting.

As for the dueling, well, wait and see.   Next chapter of this one in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

spiked posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 11:09am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this chapter, the broom race was great and i'm looking forward to the next few chapters, especially the duels and i'm hoping that it is HJ versus Krum in the first round.

JBern replied:

First round is HJ versus Fleur.   Thanks.   Glad you liked it.   Turn Me Loose chapter 5 in 1-2 weeks and next update on this one in 3-4 weeks.~Jim

Fishburne posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 10:39am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Well, Hinky Dinky Doo!

Excellent use of imagery with Fleur the water nymph and Pronghorn...

Broom Race was fast paced and imaginative, and my oh my - did someone once eat O'lean?

all in all a wonderful turn and I thank you for writing once more.

Fish

JBern replied:

I remember getting some nasty cramps from Olean once.   Thanks for the reminder.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter.   TML 5 in 1-2 weeks   Lie 11 in 3-4.~Jim

The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 10:33am for Every Rose has a Thorn

I was wondering if this was every going to be a Fleur and Harry paring but I see MAYBE it'll get there :)

I do like the friendship between Hermione and Harry you got going.

JBern replied:

Well, it's a start.   He apparently just has to get her naked and alone for them to get along!~Jim

Muad'Dib posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 10:18am for Every Rose has a Thorn

Good to see you used 'anal seepage' again. I'm already rubbing my hands at the prospect of Hermione going bananas in her paper on elves!

Seeing as how you're obviously going to make HJ a serious contender for the cup, I wonder how well he'll do on the puzzle room task. Though it'd be fantastic to see Snivellus ticked off because no one but HJ can brew the potions, but it's the dueling he seems to be best at. Both Athena and HJ have some making up to do so I'll hazard a guess and say that they'll dominate the dueling, but that would still mean HJ needs to do well on the puzzle room.

The Hat was pretty laid back this chapter. Probably the quiet before the proverbial storm.

Cheers!

JBern replied:

Who knows, Athena might turn out to be a big flop at dueling!   Then again, probably not.

I already have HJ's strategy mapped out.   Some of the reviewers are giving me ideas for how the others will make their attempts.

The Hat was greatly angered about the money.   Once HJ assured  it that they'd go to Italy, the Hat mellowed out.~Jim