The Lie I've Lived
Flawed Assumptions
By JBern
Reviews
Paul Dueck posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 9:27am for Flawed Assumptions
Awesome story, As good as a Bungle in the Jungle and way better then the Susan Bones one.
Keep updating,
Paul
JBern replied:
Thanks. I appreciate the compliments.~Jim
PerfesserN posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 9:03am for Flawed Assumptions
Interesting, floppy is a bit over the top but he is a hat, after all. *must, resist top hat pun, must resist. . .*
I've worked with that age group, 13 year olds on the brink of puberty desperate to grow up, but no so desperate that they'll take responsibility for their own actions.
Harry James seems to have a lot on his plate, let's get him some guidance.
JBern replied:
I gave him a 1000 year old Hat for guidance. What could go wrong? Give in to the hat puns...~Jim
uthamm posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 8:46am for Flawed Assumptions
Well, I assume from reading your other stories that someone has to be angry, so it should just as well be the hat. I am looking forward to Harry/James (Harmes? Jarry?) at the Dursleys . . . hoping for a 'Dursley's get what is coming to them' moment. I agree with the whole Dobby thing - I had plenty of 'friends' who got me into a lot of trouble on occasion, but I wised up (not a lot, but still). Can't see Harry too excited about someone who caused him to be deboned.
JBern replied:
Anger is a good thing, isn't it? Glad you are enjoying the story.~Jim
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 8:43am for Flawed Assumptions
Very interesting start, the Hat is going to be very funny during the summer.
MPF
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you are enjoying the story.~Jim
Shadow High Angel posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 8:17am for Flawed Assumptions
First can i just say i absolutely love your version of Harry's thoughts about Dobby, he is a nut and no one ever seems to write Harry knowing this. As for the sorting hat, never seen it written that way and i LOVE it, love the idea of the hat being a foul mouth bad tempered pain, always mouthing off at Dumbledore, the way it acted and Harry's interaction with it gave me alot of great laughing. Love the sound of the revamped tournament and can't wait to read it. Anyway to sum up, this chapter was beyond great and beyond perfect, can't wait to read more.
JBern replied:
I'd be scared of Dobby too! When I thought of the Hat, I knew that it was created 1000 years ago. Perhaps it is an anachronism a left over personality from the 10th century? Glad you enjoy the story.~Jim
Gibby posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 8:13am for Flawed Assumptions
LOVE IT. This is a great story so far. Your Sorting Hat is so... original, ya original. I agree with you on th 'Harry gets memories' stories. Anyway hope you keep up with all your stories and update soon.
-Gibby
JBern replied:
I haven't started writing chapter 3 yet, but it will take him most of the summer to get assimilated to his unlocked memories. More updates coming soon.~Jim
Dave Harris posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 8:11am for Flawed Assumptions
Okay, a Sorting Hat with attitude... now I'm curious! The Hat, the Owl and the Elf sounds like a recipe for disaster, given their personalities!
I'm also wondering about the title of this chapter - is the flawed assumption that it's actually Harry?
JBern replied:
There are several ways to interpt the title of the chapter. The biggest Flawed Assumption was that Harry thought he was a Seer. The question of identity may never be satisfactorily answered. HJP is not exactly going to advertise his condition.~Jim
reimanr06 posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 8:00am for Flawed Assumptions
that was the funniest sorting hat ive ever read. As for your reworking of the tournament, I'll have to see how it turns out. The three wizarding schools seem to be rather medieval, so the idea of having a single champion for each school fits. Plus with extra contestants, you get a lot more chance for students to die, which really shouldnt happen in a school event. If you are going to have extra people competing, perhaps death of one or a few minor characters (or even Ginny! though she would only be 13 at the time) would not be too out of the question.
JBern replied:
I plan for moey tasks for the individuals and a seperate competition involving an All-School team. It will be a minor story arc. The individual competition will take precedence.~Jim
Wolf550e posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 7:19am for Flawed Assumptions
the Hat - OMG! Best cursing I've read ever. Will you keep updating your other stories?
JBern replied:
Of course. Chapter 30 of Darkness will be out either today or tomorrow.~Jim
Riven posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 7:12am for Flawed Assumptions
this is awsome and i absolutly love it. i had a rather twisted yet awsome idea i think for an interesting scene next chapter. while harry is sorting the memories he now finds himself with i think it would make for a wonderfully humorus scene if harry comes across the memory of himself being concieved. it would be funny as hell because the james part of him would obviously enjoy the memory yet the harry part would be "EWWWWW MY PARENTS!" i think it would make for a funny ass scene i can just see your hat saying something like "whats the matter potter, cant take the thought of you buggering your own mother"
which brings me to your Hat. i love it. plain and simple i absolutley love your foul mouthed sarcastic Hat. i cant wait for the next chapter. oh btw, i also love both bungle and tftcd.
JBern replied:
I already have something along those lines planned. Glad you enjoy the Hat. More updates coming soon.~Jim
Quizer posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 7:10am for Flawed Assumptions
Apparently the response to your response didn't get through your email filter and since it's still valid, I'm posting it here and hope you answer...
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> The original bunny took hold in my mind when I wondered wouldn't it be
> ironic if his father really had saved him at the lake?
You keep saying that, but it's a rather cryptic comment. Will we learn what you mean by this during the course of the story?
Quizer
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JBern replied:
The trigger that started this cascade of memories was his casting of the Patronus at the lake. It was powerful emotional based magic. Harry thought it was his father on the other side of the lake. In a way, it was.~Jim
Quizer posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 7:04am for Flawed Assumptions
Your vicious bastard version of a Sorting Hat is something else, and I'm fairly certain one that nobody ever thought of before. I still don't fully understand why the hat has such a personality (surely he didn't just suddenly develop it during those 200 years of boredom), or how it would work if the hat was not on probation, but maybe you'll tell us.
The map showing Harry's name as 'Harry James Potter' is a clever move. I already thought at some point during the last chapter that his name is more accurate than ever before. Harry's behavior is entirely logical and understandable, I'm not suffering from cognitive dissonance yet.
I'm very much looking forward to the next part. I can virtually see how this thing is picking up speed and gathering momentum. Hopefully so do you!
till next chapter!
Quizer
JBern replied:
I'll probably answer the question of the Hat at some point. Remember it was created 1000 years ago and quite possibly is represenative of some of the attitudes of the time (ie indentured servitude, serfs, vassals, lordships and whatnot)
Glad you enjoyed the story and like the direction that it is going.~Jim
hoser41 posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 7:02am for Flawed Assumptions
I all of the stories I've read that have a conversation between Harry and the Hat, it's never been like that. That had to be the funniest thing that I have read in a long time. I've never seen anybody envision the Hat like that. Great job so far. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
JBern replied:
Glad I could put a new spin on some old cliches. Hope you continue to enjoy.~Jim
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 6:50am for Flawed Assumptions
OUTSTANDING CHAPTER!!!! I love your version of the Sorting Hat, it sounds more realistic then the cannon version just because all the kids he's seen into their minds is bound to impart something to it eventually. I can't wait to see what happens next. DO keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)
JBern replied:
Also keep in mind that the hat was created in the 10th century. Some of it's personality can be representative of the time of it's creation. More updates coming soon.~Jim
amulder posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 6:42am for Flawed Assumptions
Errr, sorry, but this seems very different from the first chapter. Funny how I find it easier to swallow the A/U changes to Harry than what you've done to the sorting hat. It just doesn't ring true.
But I do like him Hiring Dobby. For one thing, the influence of James would mean that he'd be more comfortable with an elf.
thanks
JBern replied:
Sorry you don't particularly care for this version of the Hat. It will tone down a bit now that our foul mouthed sailor has his weekend pass. Hope you continue to enjoy.~Jim
Lufio posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 6:36am for Flawed Assumptions
Heh. Heh hehe. The Sorting Hat had quite a potty-mouth while it was talking to Potter. That's definitely different from the usual portrayal of it.
It's amusing, but not quite right somehow. I'd had thought that it's original personality would be strong enough to retain archaic cursing words, which it would use to swear at people, occasionally adding newer ones it had learned from First Years.
Or maybe the time period of its swear words would depend on the object of its cursing. The Founders would be described with really archaic terms. Harry would spoken at with recent and semi-recent swearing. Albus would get blasted with 19th Century cursing.
JBern replied:
I probably could have done more research into Archaic Slang, but this story needs to be complete by August 1st. In addition I have 2 more stories that are being concluded. It uses what vulgar langauage it thinks is appropriate. You'll note it didn't really use vulgar langauge against Dumbledore. Instead it used a calculated insult that he was a fossil cashing in on his past glory.~Jim
Darak1 posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 6:33am for Flawed Assumptions
To be fair this fic is under par compared to what you produced up to now.
JBern replied:
Sorry you don't particularly care for it at this point. Hopefully, in time you will change your opinion.~Jim
Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 6:33am for Flawed Assumptions
Crude bugger, THAT'S what the hat is. I'm not too sure if I like the cocky, arrogant and mildly manipulating attitude that Harry seems to be developing. Too much like Malfoy in my opinion. I'd say... straight B for this chapter. Oh, and I thought you were going to try your hand at a H/Hr story after Bungle... maybe I misinterperted though. Looking forward to Fleur!
JBern replied:
I moved this H/Fleur story up in the line. I still plan to do a H/Hr story eventually, but just not today. Give this new version of Harry a chance. Make a decision in a few chapters.~Jim
swordchucks posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 6:21am for Flawed Assumptions
Holy crap, I should know better than to read your stuff while at work. It's just too hard to keep from laughing loudly.
Anyway, I just realized something. Harry's got this big old blob of memories that he's about to unlock. Some of those memories undoubtably involve James and Lily being *ahem* intimage. If we've got James in Harry's body, that's slighly disturbing to him. If we've got Harry with James' memories... he's going to have some rather detailed recollections of what it's like to bone his own mom.
Now, that doesn't offend me (there are very few good Harry/Lily stories, though... is that so wrong? I mean, aside from being immoral and illegal?), but Harry might be a different matter. I can see the sorting hat laughing his brim off about that one.
You also have some of the most entertaining profanity around. The hat threatening to skullfuck any Potter spawn to come its way is priceless.
JBern replied:
Yes I have already considered the fact that there are certain memories that Harry err James err HJ won't want to see. We will run into that more next chapter. And yes the Sorting Hat will rather enjoy that.
Hope you didn't get busted at work! Be careful. More updates coming soon.~Jim
QOShea posted a comment on Thursday 15th February 2007 9:58am for Flawed Assumptions
JBern replied: