SteveC60xcjkas7rwlsg23 posted a comment on Friday 19th September 2014 8:58pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

While it IS amusing to think about the Hat either, expolding, devolving to a gibbering idiot, Or turning into a hyper-active helper with the foulest mouth since Col. Sanders.

This story is very funny and I thank you for sharing your talent with me/us.

SteveC.

Allisan posted a comment on Tuesday 16th December 2008 12:10pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

this is one of the most enjoyable stories i have read to date in hp fanfic. i've heard about bungle, but never read it--couldn't deal with the tense! but i'm happy to find this story. the humor is adult humor--very refreshing! thanks for sharing

JBern replied:

Again, thanks for the review.   Sorry about the long delay in my reply - couldn't be avoided, but thankfully this is the last overdue reply and that means I can now start on Lie Chapter 19.~Jim

fyrecat posted a comment on Sunday 16th November 2008 2:32pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

Still Lovin' it!

JBern replied:

Still replying to all the reviews.~Jim

Carol Layland posted a comment on Saturday 23rd August 2008 11:38am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

Hi, I don't know ifyou will read this but I think that you have an adult winner here. So much of the writing in this chapter is the Double Entandre' type of wording that I really think that a teenager would not be able to get the full flavor of the story. I am loving it.

JBern replied:

Well, I do  write for mature audiences.   I'm glad you can appreciate that.   Next chapter of the story in roughly four weeks and I hope to hear from you again.

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 3:52pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

HJ's identity is in question? I always assumed it was for HarryJames.

JBern replied:

Well, he doesn't know if he's Harry with James' memories or James stuck in Harry's body.   After a while, he doesn't really care - he just is.

Next chapter coming soon!~Jim

bgoldnyxnet posted a comment on Tuesday 17th July 2007 7:39am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

land gifted to the Potter family by Henry II in 1170 for helping extricate the king from a problem involving a certain clergyman

That's a good one for those of us with a nodding acquaintance with English history.

JBern replied:

Thanks again.   I'll be brief since we've already 'talked' offline.   More coming soon.~Jim

koppe posted a comment on Saturday 14th July 2007 12:43pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

Snicker! Loved the banana-split... wonder if Bell is/becomes interested...

They sold Godric’s Hollow?!? Does he have any other land or property left (like the remains of the burnt-down Potter-mansion)?

JBern replied:

Yeah.   HJ has more property left and you know that Bell is interested, but HJ really isn't.~Jim

Amamama posted a comment on Thursday 14th June 2007 9:47am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

So, will he ever beat the crap out of the Dursleys for selling off is inheritance? He ought to have the pleasure of hitting them where it hurts most, and getting what's his back - as much as is possible. Interesting development, it must be weird to suddenly be your father as well as yourself, and trying to merge the two parts of your psyche. Good thing Oliver could be there for him - and seriously cool animagus! Fitting.

Cheers!

JBern replied:

Protection from Voldemort versus the petty need for revenge by HJ?   Well, since he has memories of James in his prime being cut down in less than a minute by LV, it's a no brainer to let Vernon and Petunia slide for the time being.~Jim

johnbr posted a comment on Thursday 7th June 2007 5:54am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

This story is bloody awesome. I've seen a few harry possession stories either by his older self, Lily, or Godric Gryffindor, I like this one, it has a whole lot of promise, especially with the foul mouthed hat and Dobby, its like Harry James has the Wizarding version of the angel and devil on his should with added Terrets on the same time.

Good luck and may Merlin be with you.

JBern replied:

I'm glad you like it.   Next chapter is coming in 2 weeks.   I hope I continue to impress you.~Jim

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Tuesday 5th June 2007 3:48am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

"I’d bear witness for you. It’d be justifiable…"

I love the hat! Evil little bugger that it is, it
makes some very good points.


Not to mention, everyone’s pretty sure you offed Quirrell.

*snicker*

Great chapter.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Sorry for the delay in replying, but I've been busy.   Glad you liked this and chapter 5.~Jim

busted posted a comment on Wednesday 30th May 2007 7:24pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

I think this story is heaps good :D Its funny it actually makes me laugh. I want HJ to hurry up and bone Katie :P I like the sound of him actually have some conquests in the year that would be funny.. The only part I didn't like so far is that Lily supposedly had an affair with remus but i just pretend i didnt read that and everything was peachy ;)

JBern replied:

Thank you.   Sorry for the delay in my reply, but I do try to reply to every review I get.   You have your answers about HJ and conquests.   Probably not the ones you wanted, but they should have amused you.~Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 30th May 2007 3:18am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

Go Hat! Looks like he's definitely got the right idea, even if its a little crass about it. Can't wait to see what the repercussions of this conversation with Katies like, either she's going to be really intrigued, or abvoid Harry like the plaque, can't wait to see.

JBern replied:

Wow!   This is the last one.   I'm finally caught up on my replies for this story.   Thank goodness!   I'm glad the story continues to impress you.~Jim

jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 4:13pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

AWESOME CHAPTER!!!! I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. I think the hat is cool especially with attempting to set up Katie with Harry, I thought that part was the funniest part ever. Any chance they'll hook up and he'll "seal the deal" as the hat said? If he does who's he gonna move onto next? DO keep up the awesome work and update soon please:):):):)

JBern replied:

Man that's a lot of reviews to reply to.   Thanks for this one as well.   Since ch 5 is up, you have your answers.~Jim

dboris posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 12:07pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

Well, I don't really know what to say. I like it, but I also dislike it. Strange, huh?

There were a lot of failed attempt at humour, I don't see where the story is going, and I can't even have ideas because it leaves no room for ideas. I can't see this fic becoming an action/adventure one. The beginning just makes it impossible. That's what I dislike. I think.

Now, the good part, is that I tell myself: Don't think about the bad things and enjoy this Jbern(c) new first-person story and laugh at the somehow funny situations. I read way too many story with a powerful Harry getting knowledge from god knows where, being a pussy or having a 100 old mind in a body's boy.

Sometimes Harry seems to be just, like a two year old boy. Though it's rare.

I liked however the sorting hat. Some insults are just funny, like the one where he threaten to skullfuck (you couldn't have choosen a better term) Harry. Though when Harry and Katie were eating ice cream, I found it a little strange.

It for sure isn't as good as Bungle in the Jungle or TFTCD, but your unique way of writing compensate it largely.

For what I've seen in DLP, it is apparently some kind of contest with Vash or whoever, and so I get the feeling you rushed this a little too fast.

My teachers used to tell me "You could do much better because you have the potential". I believe the same could be said here.

Maybe once it finished you could rewrite some part of the story, and I guess it will make this much more enjoyable.

Doesn't matter if there isn't a specific plot. Just because one doesn't have one doesn't mean it's bad. Just different.

lnky

JBern replied:

I could have sworn I replied to this, but I guess not.   Thank you for the long review.   I can see that we don't share the same sense of humor, but that's okay.   I appreciate the criticsm regardless and hope that the story will continue to grow on you.~Jim

taxzombie posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 6:34am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

Quite enjoying this tale. Very much so. But I must admit that if I were in Harry's place I would be sorely tempted to throw a certain hat on a pile of burning leaves.

This tale is extremly interesting in that I am curious as to what Harry's final personality is going to be, provided he says sane that is.

Please, keep it coming.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   As you can see the next chapter is up.     Sorry for the tardy reply and hope you like what you saw in chapter 5.~Jim

Ken Warner posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 5:43am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

great story in this chapter - It will be interesting to see how you handle the embarrassment with katie, but the foulmouthed Hat does have 1000 years of experience in human nature more than harry does - that 10 to 1 ratio should be good for something.

Is the bad temper caused by something akin to the 'self aware computer' problem that Larry Niven used in a couple of his short stories?? Not enough input available to maintain interest in the outside world??

thanks for sharing

JBern replied:

Really, I look at the Hat as an object created in the 10th century.   It has a 10th century mindset and if you think about the times and the people then, would the Hat be out of place there?

Plus if you'd been unfairly detained for over 200 years, you'd be angry too.~Jim

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 5:28am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

I love your version of the Hat and the colorful history of the founders that won`t be in book 7.

Very amusing and original. Haven`t come across this premise before. Harry turning to Oliver for help was a nice change as well.

Loved the reason for James not choosing Remus as the secret keeper.

My favorite part was the Hat insulting the Goblins.

JBern replied:

My guess is the hat would have a low opinion of a creature that chooses to serve Wizards and Witches.   Glad you like the premise and hope it continues to impress you.~Jim

Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 3:46am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

This is a really good story so far. The sorting hat's language is a bit disconcerting at times, but I think I'm getting used to it. I like how Harry is developing relationships with his older friends, and I'm looking forward to seeing your take on how he interacts with Ron and Hermione. It seems to me that Hermione would have less trouble dealing with a suddenly mature Harry than Ron would. If nothing else though, Harry and Ron will always have Quidditch to talk about. Can't wait for the next chapter!

JBern replied:

There will be more on the relationships next chapter as HJ struggles with who he was, who he is and who he is becoming.   Hope you'll stick around for the ride.~Jim

Infin1x posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 3:45am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

I really hope to see more of this soon and in great quantity because your Sorting Hat is hysterically funny. It would probably be considered egotistical if you did but I find myself wondering how 'The Lie I've Lived,' 'Bungle In the Jungle' and 'Coming Darkness' Harrys would react to each other. Maybe even throw in the cannon Potter for the hell of it and watch the fireworks. It certainly wouldn't be boring.

JBern replied:

There's actually a drabble I wrote a few months ago.   You'll find it in the discussion threads on DLP for either Bungle or Darkness, but I wrote a short 1000 word critter called Bungle through the Darkness where the version of Harry in Bungle wakes up next to Susan Potter in Darkness.   He's of course wondering if he's been obliviated again...

Maybe I'll go look for it clean it up some and post it someday.~Jim

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 3:38am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream

The note about maybe never knowing who HJ is reminds me of something I heard just the other day; While filming the movie "The Big Sleep" the director couldn't figure out who killed someone, so he called Raymond Chandler, the author of the novel and asked him, "Who killed the butler?"
The answer was "How the hell should I know?" Sometimes the author doesn't know, and the story doesn't either.

Anyway, the scene with Katie was funny (and embarassing as hell).

The Pronghorn is neat. I haven't seen that before. I thought they could jump pretty good, though.

Interesting bit with Ollie. Like how that's going.

The bit with the Dursleys was good; I like hating them.

Thanks for the story. Now I've got to get my 4th year finished before you do so I don't end up stealing any of your ideas.

Tom A.

JBern replied:

Thanks Tom.   I really need to get current on your story.   I agree with your points about The Big Sleep.   Heck watch John Carpenters 1980's era remake of The Thing and try to figure out who was the first one the alien infected.   A classic movie well ahead of it's time for special effects.

Nah Pronghorns are supposedly poor jumpers.   So much that several western states encourage ranchers to replace the lowest line of barbed wire with non-barbed wire so it won't injure the Pronghorns going under the fences.   (At least that's what I have read, by no means am I an expert.)~Jim