The Lie I've Lived
Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
By JBern
Reviews
cjonbloodletter posted a comment on Monday 28th May 2007 5:38pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
I swear to god that hat never gets old, Honestly you should make a crack fic titled "The Amazing Misadventures of the Sorting Hat and his Trusty Sidekick HJ the Boy Identity Crisis" or something shorter and more snappy.
Other than that the story is still going strong and good. Keep up the good work.
-Cjon the Bloodletter
JBern replied:
I like your idea. And I'm glad you are enjoying the characterization of the hat so much. Next after in two weeks.
Jim
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Monday 28th May 2007 3:33pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Definitely an interesting time for Harry/James. I loved the items he found out and what he did with the information. The hat continues to be a source of amusement and information - it definitely excells at keeping folk humble. I loved the Animagus form and the practices with Ollie. *wicked chuckle* I'm hoping things do develop between Harry & Katie, I think they deserve it. ;)
JBern replied:
Katie will definitely be in next chapter and will probably have a greater role than she usually does. Hope this story continues to impress you.
Jim
anonmg1 posted a comment on Monday 28th May 2007 12:15pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Grosse Pointe Blank is one of my favorites as well. Haven't seen it in a while, and now I have to go rummage through my DVD collection to find it.
"A thousand innocent people get killed every day...but a millionaire's PET gets detonated, and you're marked for life!"
"A phychopath kills for no reason! I kill for money! It's a job! ...that didn't sound right."
JBern replied:
I really enjoyed that movie. It's one of my all-time favorites. I hope I'm finished with this story at the one of your all-time favorites. -- Jim
Frank Hacklander posted a comment on Monday 28th May 2007 5:25am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
agree w/ youon grosse pointe blank. think this is shaping up rather nicely as well. harry & katie bell? i think it's a go! still, the flicking back & forth between personalities seems somewhat cumbersome, one of the drawbacks of writing this in 1st person. perhaps better to use ruskbyte's "headache" notion. some memory is triggered causing the deluge of info from james, leading to the headache and the need to assimilate...course this begs the question of how many headaches HJ can have in a day. still, looking fwd to the next bit.
JBern replied:
No, I am not a big fan of the whole headache thing. Most of his headaches will come probably from the hat. Next actor in two weeks -- Jim
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Monday 28th May 2007 4:06am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Oh that has to be the best chapter ever! Sooo very funny, the stuff at the ice cream parlour was great. The Tesco stuff just made me laugh a lot too. I'm quite pleasantly surprised that you got a British supermarket right! I forgot about Grosse Pointe Blank, I love that film, its so very darkly comic. Is probably slightly evil of me to still laugh at the use of a fountain pen to kill that other hitman at the reunion.
You have to admit that banana split does have phallic conotations. So something that I would say! I've been told my Rebel Goddess said that as well!
I think if could have been interesting to make Harry able to change into a second animal form. He is an animagus because of JP, through Prongs, but as he is Harry too he has his own internal animal and can become that as well. Saying that though, I really like what you did with it. A slightly different animal but similar, almost more relevant to his seekers abilities. It was cool that you linked the ability of being an animagus to his quidditch skills.
Thanks for writing, that was great!
Monkey
JBern replied:
See now most people want to identify with the main character, but you seem to of locked in on the sorting hat. I checked with Tim on the whole supermarket thing.
Sometimes the pen is mightier than the sword. I think that was the whole point of that scene. Still a great scene.
Second animal form? I don't know about that. You will see what I have in mind. -- Jim
chrisellis posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 9:46pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Whooo! Enjoy! Fun!
Seriously good fic. Thankyou - made my morning!
JBern replied:
I'm glad you really enjoyed it. The next chapters coming in two weeks. I hope to hear from you again. -- Jim
Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 6:04pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Oh, the Tesco's idea was brilliant. Grosse Point Blank is also a great film you're right. The Hat wanting to take a Gringotts' ride was great - as was Harry threatening the Dursleys and using Dobby to do it.
Think I cracked a rib laughing at the Sorting Hat's interpretation of Katie eating a banana split. Loved the stuff with Ollie, Horny and Harry's Bitch - made me think of Nonjon but with more bad language.
The Hat continues to be the greatest character in this. Absolutely superb chapter. More please.
JBern replied:
I really love nonjon's writing. Glad you enjoyed the ice cream parlor seen so much. It just seemed like the kind of tone I wanted to set with the story. -- Jim
tdougla posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 5:09pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Awsome story, unusual premise, very good writing! And I don't have to translate from second person :) I hope that you write quickly with this one, it's one of the best I've read in a very long time.
JBern replied:
Oh what's wrong with second person? Next chapter should be out in two weeks. -- Jim
Prince Charon posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 4:37pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Very, very interesting.
Thank you for the update.
More soon, please.
JBern replied:
Thanks. The next chapter should be out in two weeks. In the interim, please feel free to enjoy all the Fantastic stories on this website. -- Jim
QOShea posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 1:06pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
This is truly an inspired story.
Inspired by what, I'm not sure. *grin*
Looking forward to more!
JBern replied:
Four out of the five voices in my head say that I'm doing the right story. Glad you liked it. Nature after coming in two short weeks. -- Jim
Black Dragon Knight posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 12:57pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
This is turning into a real good story and I really like how all three of your stories have kind of a different feel to them. You're a real creative writer and I really enjoy reading your stuff.
I like the idea of Harry not only bickering with the hat, but trying to make sense of the stuff that's going on in his head and sorting it out.
Should be interesting to see what happens when you introduce Fleur and how Harry or HJ reacts.
JBern replied:
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Hopefully, it will continue to impress you. I would immediately expect it to be all fun and games between Harry and Fleur, but then again would you want it any other way? -- Jim
warpwizard posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 12:27pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Good stuff. I'm not as into this story as some of your others, but it's a nice read.
Being a pronghorn would be damn fun. :)
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed it. Next chapter coming in two weeks. That kind of form would be fun. -- Jim
darthloki posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 9:47am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Pointing at the Tesco bags on the ground, I continued, "I found out you can never go home again, but you can shop there."
LOL! I love that line, too. My Dad and I adore that movie and watch it all the time.
"What? Why the hell did you just say that out loud?"
*snickers*
It’s what the group of Gryffindor’s I sort of played with used to call ‘Frank’s Law’ — if you can’t be good, hope you’re lucky!
*guffaws* Poor Frank!
JBern replied:
I thought there was a certain irony in Frank's law. I'm glad you appreciated that. GPB is one of my favorite all-time movies. You have to watch it again sometime this week. -- Jim
Cuey posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 8:38am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
A very good chapter Jim. "HJ" is easily my favorite version of Harry that you have done. In Bungle I was impressed with your take on wards and runes, in this story I like your take on Quidditch. Hopefully you will change up the quidditch descriptions from GoF's QWC.
Initially I was a little concerned that Harry was scoring twice on a pro keeper but in retrospect I could easily see a good junior player scoring 2 out of 5 penalty shots in football(soccer). Keep up the good work, and the addition of your betas will only make the chapters even better.
JBern replied:
I don't know how much will change the descriptions. I will definitely change how HJ follows the interaction.
HJ was lucky. He also performed a very advanced maneuver that the keeper was not expecting.
Thanks for the review -- Jim
Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 8:08am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
I like the fact that this integration of the two perosnailites is ongoing, inexplicible, and confused. No "they talked for a few hours and everything was all right."
Your Ollie is a hoot and very believeable.
Cheers!
JBern replied:
Thanks again for all your help and insight. I'm also glad you like Oliver so much.
Jim
amulder posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 5:19am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Pronghorn - good one.
rude comments to Katie - unsurprising, but tough as an author to avoid squick territory
Dursley's selling Godric's Hollow - original, good movie reference, but HJ should not let this rest. I would expect him to look at future revenge. Ideally, and most satisfying would be to force the nullification of the sale, and torch the current tenants, don't you think?
Future direction? Ron... well he was pretty immature still in GoF, so this does not bode well. Will he grow up quickly thanks to HJ? Tough call.
thanks for the oddness.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. Well the him protection that Lily provided him is probably worth more to him right now than any piece of land. Future revenge on the other hand though that's a matter for another day.
Jim
DrT posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 1:05am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
'Horny'? Sounds more like some of my fics than yours, but then, this is a fun change of pace. I'm really surprised that HJ didn't hex the hell out of the Dursleys for stealing his inheritance. (Nitpick -- shouldn't the estate been entailed? If so, the sale was illegal, and HJ could get the land back and the Dursleys could be sued and imprisioned)
"T"
JBern replied:
Thanks for the laugh. Yes, HJ could go after them. He may very well when he turns 17. Until then, he also has memories of Voldemort killing him as James and is unwilling to part with that protection for as long as it is still there. In the end, it's the lesser of two evils (significantly so).
Hope that answers your comments.~Jim
Quizer posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 12:50am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
Not bad. This story is getting more and more interesting.
I still don't like the hat very much - I've never been one to appreciate blatant vulgarity. True, Harry can do with loosening up some, but I think he should impress upon the hat that there are lines that should not be crossed and that it better be careful if it doesn't want to end up on the wrong end of an incineration hex. The hijinks are funny and make for very interesting turns in the story, but I feel Harry shouldn't let it get away with doing (or saying) whatever it wants, the way he is currently doing.
I like how Harry's new 'HJ' persona is turning out. Scenes like 'Dobby and the Dursleys', the Quidditch bet and Harry's interaction with Ollie are all highly enjoyable. I like HJ's wit; he can be crude, too, but unlike the hat he as a much better idea of what is appropriate. Good job striking that balance the way you did.
It's good that Harry found a confidant in Ollie - he's not someone who's that involved with Harry's life, and such people make great confidants. I can really appreciate that.
The scene with Katie was good, too, but descriptions of Katie's reactions were pretty thin. Specifially, I'm missing a description of her reaction as Harry leaves. The last paragraph of that passage is a prime choice to insert a bit more information on how she reacts to everything, but there's nothing. It really makes it hard to imagine what her reaction will be like when they meet next, and kind of takes much of the scene's appeal out of it. It's similiar in the last paragraphs of this chapter. Why don't you elaborate on the content of those owls, or Katie's attitude in her writing?
I'm looking forward to the next chapter of this highly unique and creative story. Until then!
Quizer
JBern replied:
Thanks for the commentary as usual. I like to take chances with characters in my stories. Thus I know many will not care for the Hat. Sadly, the Hat will probably be at this birthday party and that'll be trouble...
I was intentionally light on Katie's part. Think about any time you've been really embarassed and had to retreat with your tail between your legs as it was. Were you really paying attention to what the other people were doing?
Next chapter in 2 weeks. Glad you like Ollie. In canon, he's a character that has never really been explored that much.~Jim
nezza posted a comment on Saturday 26th May 2007 11:39pm for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
jim great update
i especially love the reference to GPB. i would have loved it more if harry had done a martin and blown the place up!! bing bang bong POPCORN
keep up the good work
JBern replied:
My favorite scene in GPB was him walking in to the reunion and saying "I should have brought my gun."
"What?"
"I said this is going to be fun..."
Next chapter in 2 weeks.~Jim
atlantis-rob posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 2:47am for Of Innuendo and Ice Cream
JBern replied: