The Lie I've Lived
The Summer of Change
By JBern
Reviews
dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Sunday 25th March 2007 11:16am for The Summer of Change
The bit with Remus and Lilly came out of left
field, but then I expect James wasn't exactly
idle either. James' fight with Voldy was rather
short, but I think his defense was a bit bland.
A little imagination and some time to prepare and
Harry-James should have him crushed in short
order.
Of course if you want to be really cruel to Harry
you can start giving him his mother's memories as
well.
JBern replied:
In my section of the forums, there is a long discussion on my rationalizations for James, Lily and Remus. James was prepared, but Voldemort simply was too powerful in their fight.~Jim
ichtys posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 11:18pm for The Summer of Change
Hi Jim.
It is nice to see the plot moving along. I hope you can keep the changes to canon believable.
One thing I slightly dislike in this fic, is the language used, especially by the hat. I know you do it for a reason, but excessive swearing just annoys me. What is it exactly, that you want to accomplice by the language? Are you trying to how us that the Hat isn't some kind-spirited object, that exists only to serve Hogwarts? I think you could have done that without using such foul language.
I have noticed that you have made a comment about Lily and James' relationship as you see it. I'll post some comments in that thread @ FFA, but I just have to make a comment here as well. Not considering Canon, I still think Lily and Remus' affair is questionable. In chapter one Harry had no problems whatsoever with Remus, and I think that gives you a little continuity problem. Even if Harry's memories were suppressed, the affair would have been more believable if you had added a little tension in chapter one (in the conversation between Harry and Remus). I don't claim to know anything about psychology, I just think that even suppressed memories can effect you, or at least your subconsciousness. I don't demand (as a reader of fan-fiction that is something I avoid) that you make Lily and James into saints, or the paragon of virtue. I just think you could have used other elements to show that they had their problems, without pulling the big "affair with my best friend" plot device out of the closet. Personally, I like to entertain the idea that Peter used some very subtle comments to raise suspicion towards Remus. Lily wouldn't hear of the comments James and Sirius were making, and kept welcoming Remus with open arms. That could have provided enough tension for your plot if it were expanded a bit (you could end it just short of letting them have an affair).
I look forward to see where you are taking this, Jim. There are just some elements in the story that I don't like.
Regards Ichtys
JBern replied:
I didn't want to spend a massive amout of time on the flashbacks. Amazing how many readers will put up with Harry cheating on Ginny or Hermione and vice versa. James cheating on Lily, who cares? But throw in an instance where Lily is unfaithful and watch out! I think it is more tragic to portray James and Lily's marriage faltering under the massive strain that it was under. So many authors have James as a happy prankster up until the moment Voldy knocks on the door. I wanted to do a more melancholy James.
As for the language, sorry you don't like. It won't be as pronounced in later chapters. I still justify my version of the Hat by saying that it's personality is reflective of the 10th century when it was created. By all historical accounts, it was a rough and tumble period in European history. I don't see a need to make the Hat a sophisticated and elegant object.~Jim
riegert8 posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 12:30pm for The Summer of Change
A ok chapter. It nice that Harry get some of his father memmory's. Do mean that he chase after his version of Lily that she would cheat on him like his mother did, I thought that was stupid is that saying Lily would cheat on her husband. I just put down as an another author want to tear down Lily. Why was Lily with James if she did not love him ?
JBern replied:
In the forums section of this site, I have a long rationalization on why I did what I did with the characterizations of James, Lily and Remus for this story. I like to make people 'real' and not paragons of virtue. Lily and James were barely into their 20s in the midst of a war that had cost both of them their parents. I think making her have a sudden moment of weakness makes her a more believable character.~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 9:34am for The Summer of Change
I am fond of action sequences so this chapter is not quite as much my cup of tea as some of your others but it is good and it is often necessary to set the stage for future developements. Thanks for your efforts. W.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Of course do you really think HJ would run from a crowd of DE's at the world cup? There should be some more action coming soon.~Jim
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 7:52am for The Summer of Change
BLOODY AMAZING!!!! I love how the Hat acts and I love how Harry reacts and thinks and I also love whats going on inside Harry's head. I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. DO keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)
JBern replied:
Glad you like it. My other stories are begging to be finished, so the updates to this one will be sporadic at best. Though I try to keep the chapter length down so I can squeeze an update in every once in awhile. Bungle is complete in 3 chapters and Darkness has about 8 left in it. After that this one takes precedence until I start the sequel to Bungle.~Jim
Malaskor posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 5:36am for The Summer of Change
Oh, I forgot something:
Lilly cheating on James with Remus rubbed me a bit wrong - Remus is by far the most moral of the Marauders (at least as far as we know from canon). I would have seen Sirius as much more likely in this role (but then again there is the question of wether Lilly would even be atracted to Sirius, as Remus's studious nature seems more in line with Lilly's).
JBern replied:
Visit my section on the forums part of this website. I have a long reply for the rationalizations behind how I portray Lily, James and Remus.~Jim
Malaskor posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 5:31am for The Summer of Change
Very interesting story. Now I'm wondering if James' memories were sent to Harry due to one of the prison-worthy experiments Lilly did - and if they were wether her memories were sent to someone too... if for some reason they ended up in Ginny that would explain her crush :) (though I'll admit that isn't needed for a crush). Of course the real confusion would come should Lilly's memories be within Harry too - just even deeper hidden, below James' memories - and as long as those aren't freed hers are hidden so well that even the Hat can't see a sign of them.
Ok, enough crazy speculation from me.
Keep it up and thanks for sharing
JBern replied:
Thanks for the commentary. I will neither confirm nor deny your theories. Glad you are enjoying the story.~Jim
djbe posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 4:47am for The Summer of Change
I don't know what to think of this story... It has some good parts, some weird parts, and some parts I dislike a bit (the hat for example). I'm curious as to how this story will evolve
JBern replied:
Sorry you don't care for the Hat. I like to take chances with characters that we barely know anything about. In TFtCD I turned Penny Clearwater into a Mata Hari. In Bungle I made Luna sane and doing everything on purpose. In this one I made the Sorting Hat a legacy of the time when it was created. 10th century England was a rough and tumble place in non-fictional history. Toss in magic and the founders and you can see where the Hat might have came from. Hope you stick around and enjoy it.~Jim
Darkness posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 6:17pm for The Summer of Change
I quite liked this chapter. James' character, especially, was quite fun and entertaining to read; I really hate all the cliched "James is a good for nohting prick and Lily is a saint" fics. Though the little bit with Lily cheating with Remus kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Besides that, I also liked the way Harry seems to viewing girls now, it would make more sense since he's got the mind of an adult now.
JBern replied:
It was supposed to rub you the wrong way. Things like that are supposed to be hard to read. There's a nice long discussion in the forums section where I rationalize my versions of James, Lily and Remus. Take a look and chip in your comments.~Jim
Shadow High Angel posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 8:56am for The Summer of Change
Love the chapter especially the interaction between Harry and the Hat. The fight with Voldermort was also good, i like how you had James last atleast a little time and not go down within a second, can't wait to read what happens next.
JBern replied:
Thanks. I used the fight scene to establish that both fighters were good. One was just much better.~Jim
Minsky posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 7:02am for The Summer of Change
A very interesting and unusual story, JBern. I like your work mainly for the extremely well done action scenes, but I'm also a sucker for these kind of "Harry learns secrets and keeps them close to his chest as he navigates his way through a retelling of one the canon books" stories...as long as they're well-written, natch. Obviously, this one is indeed well-written, and it's a nice twist on the "Harry comes back in time" routine, seeing as Harry's insights here are gained from a past perspective instead of from his future self, as is usually the case. I can't think of any other fanfic that's ever attempted this approach.
JBern replied:
Well, thank you. I appreciate the compliments. Bungle 21 will be up over the weekend and I promise you that you will enjoy the action sequences. In the forums section on this site I have a long rambling on my rational behind the personalities of James Lily and Remus in this particular story. Check it out. You should find it interesting.~Jim
Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 4:23am for The Summer of Change
Jim - I love the rough and tumble rowdy hat. As you've developed James' role in this I see the hat's just as he needs to be. Graphic but appropriate at this level and this rating.
Comparing the rake, James, to the Harry James realizes he needs to be is terrific. This was a monumental transition chapter. Three cheers for James accepting that Harry now is much more powerful that James ever was. Is it possible that James is finally growing up in a second life?
I am very curious how 'Harry' will react to Remus and Snape when he sees them next. Puts an interesting twist on why Remus only hesitantly got to know Harry in his third year. Imagine what the welcome Sirius would have given Remus in the Shack if he'd known of Remus's betrayal of James with Lily.
The conversation and defense in James' last minute was fascinating.
Two more potions - what else will he see?
This is a well conceived gritty tale of amazing originality.
Well done indeed!
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. The Hat will be around for a while. In my forum, I posted a long reply to all those reviews that "Lily or Remus would never do that!" and I go into some of the rational behind their personalities.
As I stated, HJ still doesn't know if he is Harry with James' memories or James with Harry's body. He may never know. The Hat would remind him in no uncertain terms that it really doesn't matter - does it?
You know James defied him 3 times. In this story the first time was a recruitment offer which James declined. Why not? The prominent scion of a family with no other heirs would be a nice feather in the cap of LV. You forgot to mention the best part of the chapter - "It's fun to be at the YMCA!"
Jim
jzysman posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 3:58am for The Summer of Change
This really is a cool fic. I love the dichotomy of Harry and James' personalities. talk about flip sides of the same coin. Also I can't help but genuinely admire your tidbit into Godric's life. Bringing the founder down to a human level is exactly what HJ (I like that) needs to hear.
Thanks!
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. In the forum area on this site, I added a long post about what I was thinking when I wrote the characters and somewhat rationalized their behavior. You might like it.~Jim
Christopher Patton posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 3:15am for The Summer of Change
Great chapter. I can see that this is going to change a lot of things in the next year and not just his friendship with Ron and Hermione.
Based on his new/rediscovered outlook on the female half of the species I can see why he'd be attracted to the seventh year Fleur. At some point, he's just going to knock her socks off among other thing if it works out right.
Plus, I can see how his more mature outlook might also help resist the Veela attraction.
That would in and of itself be intriguing to Fleur, plus his previous experience with women will be a surprise.
I almost want to say poor Remus, as he's going to have no idea why HJP will be giving him the cold shoulder for awhile at least. I bet Sirius is going to be thrown for a bit when Harry wants to be more the kind of friend that he remembers being and not just Sirius's godson.
I'm looking forward to seeing how things will change in his fourth year. I think there will be a lot of surprises for everyone.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. In the forum area on this site, I added a long post about what I was thinking when I wrote the characters and somewhat rationalized their behavior. You might like it.
A good number of things will change with his relationship with R and Hr. I'm going to work on giving Fleur's character a bit of depth as well.
~Jim
Renzo7 posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 3:08am for The Summer of Change
Awesome work, great commentaries. I found the descriptions of Cho's aunt and James' activities very entertaining. Keep up the great work, I hope you update soon any of your stories.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. In the forum area on this site, I added a long post about what I was thinking when I wrote the characters and somewhat rationalized their behavior. You might like it.~Jim
amulder posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 2:42am for The Summer of Change
"I wasn’t about to trust a man, who’d sleep with another man’s wife with our safety."
Y'know, that was pretty mean. Mean of you, I mean, to do that to the Lily Character. Harsh harsh treatment. Darn. What a way for Harry to learn that his parents were human.
I do think you're painting a very dark portrayal of Harry's folks.
Hmm, harsh judgement of Neville also. Does Harry really think so poorly of Nev? I never thought so.
Still, I think we're clear that it is Harry at least, but with most of his Dad's memories. That's going to have some serious personality affects on him.
Oh yeah, and this will pretty much destroy Harry's relationship with Remus as well. Are you intentionally isolating him? Who will be his friends and ... helpers(?) now? He's pretty distant in his thoughts of Hermione and Ron.
Oh, I just realized. *this* Harry will be a lot more willing to be Sirius' pal, as Sirius seemed to be wanting in OoTP. Hmm.
Interesting. Coarse.
thanks
...art
JBern replied:
Well, you've already commented in the forum section, but I always go back to Hagrid's initial description of the Wizarding World when Harry asks him back in PS/SS. It was dark and dangerous times.
So many have James as some kind of buffoon pranking up to the day of his death. I went a very different direction. As for Nev, other than an occasional mention as a bumbling student, he's pretty much a non-entity.
The relationship between Remus and Harry is mostly built on Fanon, but you are correct. HJ isn't really going to warm up to the werewolf for a time, but if you're looking for the angsty revelation of "I know what you did with mommy/wifey err Lily!" HJ is going to keep his cards close to his vest for the forseeable future.
The nice part is a that a story barely over 10000 words is provoking so much thought. I must be doing something right. ~Jim
emoonrain posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 1:46am for The Summer of Change
this is one of the most orginal story i have every read keep up the good work
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. In the forum area on this site, I added a long post about what I was thinking when I wrote the characters and somewhat rationalized their behavior. You might like it.~Jim
Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 12:55am for The Summer of Change
Nice chapter. I thought Harry would see what caused this memory thing.
Wonder how Harry feels about Remus now? In canon (despite all the fan fics to the contrary) he and Remus never were close after Remus was no longer his teacher. And if Remus succeeded in bedding Lilly, I wonder if Sirius did, too. James might not have considered that, but Harry might.
As for his problems with dating "young" girls, didn't James have any memories of doing that?
Thanks for writing. Looking forward to more.
Tom A.
JBern replied:
Thanks for picking up the train of thought and going some where with it. You are quite correct. Unca Remus is a product of fanon and if I involve him down the road the relationship between HJ and Remus will be a bit strained.
HJ has memories of what JP did with younger impressionable girls. HJ isn't that shallow. Just because he has discovered JP's memories doesn't mean he is going to morph into a JP clone. He still has Harry's sensibilities. Head on over to the forums area. I've posted a long reponse to all those, Remus or Lily would never do that reviews. I think you'll find it interesting. When I get a chance, I'll go catch up on Luna's Hubby.~Jim
lockethegoon posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 12:19am for The Summer of Change
This story really does keep getting better and better. You are doing things with characters that I have not seen people do in the past and it is very good to see a change from the standard: James and Lily were the happy perfect couple, the sorting hat is a great guy and Dobby is bestest house elf ever!!
I really enjoy this story, and hope that you stop working, taking care of kids or doing anything else that does not involve writing and just start writing. Not gonna lie it would be nice. :)
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. In the forum area on this site, I added a long post about what I was thinking when I wrote the characters and somewhat rationalized their behavior. You might like it.
I'm glad you are enjoying the twists on people and their personalities. Sorry I can't accomodate your other demands, but I should be getting my copy of Dragon Naturally speaking soon. We'll see if that speeds productivity.~Jim
cjonbloodletter posted a comment on Sunday 25th March 2007 4:42pm for The Summer of Change
JBern replied: