PerfesserN posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 12:14pm for Before the Dawn

VERY nice ending, ending?
Well, maybe. . .
I have the image of Darth Vader's crippled TIE fighter spinning away from the exploding Death Star here for some reason.
Who was it that said "Good will triumph over evil, but for how long?"
The blatant open-endedness of this story makes it that much more satisfying. We know several story lines can emerge from the foundation of TFtCD and if you never write another line of story or dialogue in this world that you have created that'll be okay too.
Your faithful readers do not lack imaginations.
Here’s to your continuing stories, your next epics, and best of luck in your writing goals.
I'll be first in line at my local bookstore.
N!

JBern replied:

Like I said a few reviews above this one.   My original ending was Penny teaching a bunch of children in a school somewhere and each and every one of them reading from a copy of The Diary of Tom Riddle - real "Boys from Brazil" style ending, but I figured that Voldy Mark 2 wouldn't want that kind of competition.

Glad you liked the open ending.   Maybe I'll write that 19 years down the road short story/one shot someday, but if I don't it'll leave much to the imagination.~Jim

Dervish posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 12:00pm for Before the Dawn

oh how evil of you to end it like that ...... i cry for absolute closure but know that i won't get it ... sniffles

JBern replied:

But now the story can live on in your imagination as you wonder how the plots and schemes could come to fruition in the next decade or so...~Jim

Fenris Ulf posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 11:10am for Before the Dawn

Nice way to end the story. That was practically a Holywood finish. I can almost see the movie ending with baby voldemort's eyes flashing red and the screen fading to black. Thank you for such an intrigueing story and I look forward to reading the next installment's of your other stories.

When you do get something published will you post links where we can check them out?

Thanks again,

Rob

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.   Trust me, when I get something published I'll be certain to mention it.   I'd be a fool to ignore an established fanbase even if the mainstream publishers would turn their collective noses up at a fanfic author.~Jim

Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 10:40am for Before the Dawn

To be honest, this is my least favorite of your stories. The constant carnage did weigh a bit at times. But I certainly can respect that your intention was to put Harry through a realistic war, and I think you accomplished that very well. I do like the way you ended things here. Voldemort's new plan was interesting, and it's good that you show him learning from his mistakes again, but for me Scrimgeour's plans were even more fun.

Given that the, um, least best stuff you've written is still very readable, I would definitely be willing to take a look at original fiction from you. I assume you'll let us know when and where it can be procured. I hope that goes well for you. As a human being (and therefore as a selfish being), I do hope you finish the HP stuff you've got going. Turn Me Loose and The Lie I've Lived are just too good to let wither on the vine.

Anyway, thanks for writing and best of luck!
Jay

JBern replied:

Trust me when I do get something published, I'll be screaming it from the rooftops.   It'll be hard to shut me up about it.   There's a thread under my section in the forum titled Original Works where I discuss the 4 completed short stories I am sending around.   I mention the novel length stuff only briefly because the longest is now just about 30000 words in length.   I'll talk about it more as it gets closer to 75000 which is a good "starter" novel length.

Naturally, I will complete TML and TLIL.   This may be a bit of a mercenary like admission on my part, but by keeping my fanfic fans happy and hopefully expanding, it will increase the likelihood that a greater percentage of my regular readers would spend money on an original story.   Odds are my first works would come out throgh a small publisher.   A successful book in by a small publisher sells over 1000 copies a really successful book from one sells 5000 copies.   That's chump change to a big publishing house, but it will get me noticed if I can make it in the world of small publishing.   Right now between this site and ff(dot)net I have about 3500 regular readers.   The object here is to keep putting out entertaining material to grow that number and keep my fanbase happy.   If I can do that a higher percentage of a hopefully growing number of people will buy my first novel without a massive effort on my part.

Hope that makes sense.   Thanks for all the reviews.~Jim

Viridian posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 10:29am for Before the Dawn

Wow... well done. My head is throbbing, I was reading so fast, lol. The "ambush" was just masterful, too!

My hat is off to you for a truly epic tale!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   That's a nice compliment especaily from someone who I respect.   I'm glad to have this one behind me.   Now get back to your stories!~Jim

Decumo9 posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 10:24am for Before the Dawn

great story, totally worth the read. If your original works are as good as your fanfiction works, i will have no problem forking over some cash to read them.

JBern replied:

Let's hope my original stuff will be better.   Right now I only have some short stories completed, so odds are the first place I'll be seen is a Magazine or if I'm lucky an Anthology with a bunch of other authors trying to get noticed.

Thanks for the review and I hope my stories continue to impress you.~Jim

c3markh posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 10:19am for Before the Dawn

Love the story; the ending I'm still up in the air about it. Hope to see more from you as you get the time.

JBern replied:

I went for the open ended ending mainly because I wanted to adhere to the realism theme of the story.   Real wars end rather unsatisfyingly for the participants.   Complete victory is never achieved and those who you were allied with for the common good suddenly are free to pursue their own agendas.   Hope that make sense.~Jim

Jizzle posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 10:15am for Before the Dawn

I really liked this story. Lots of people died, but it never felt gratuitous. The only character's fates that I resented were Luna's and Lucius's. Luna because she my favorite HP character and had horrible things happen to her. Lucius because the bastard got off way too easy.

It was good to see Draco bite it, sad that Tonks still held onto that death wish, but I guess there are some things that you just can't get over. The triplets and Susan survived, so I'm happy. Even Harry lived! Didn't really expect that.

So all in all a great story. I look forward to your next fanfic update, and you can bet that I'll buy any original work you get published. Bungle is my favorite HP fanfic ever, and I want my favorite fanfic authors to spend more time writing. Happy writing.

JBern replied:

Thank you very much for the compliments.   I considered actually have Voldy win in this one, but I'm sure the flames would have be trememdous.~Jim

DiscountNinja posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 9:23am for Before the Dawn

Yay! Nice ending, I have to say =)
Also, it's good to see that things still arn't perfect =)

JBern replied:

Well, I tried to stay true to the realism theme.~Jim

Ken Warner posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 9:16am for Before the Dawn

Your works are definitely on the purchase schedule - although an alert here as to availability would be welcome.

This was a thought provoking story throughout, and I find my self a touch saddened that after all that carnage there was not a definitive resolution- but the real world is that way - evil tends to spring back up from the smallest of seeds.

thanks for sticking with this after the disappointment of July 2007

warm regards

JBern replied:

Thanks.   For the life of me I'm trying to remember what the disappointment of July 2007 was.   I know review numbers for this story on a whole were on the diminishing side, but I'm drawing a blank.

Oh well, crisis past and all that jazz.   Thanks for all the reviews.   I have to sell one of my short stories before I can point out where to get it.   In my thread on the forums section is a thread called Original works which details what I have been working on.   I'll be certain to put a mention in my author's notes and the forums section when I do manage to snag my first sale.~Jim

DrT posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 8:58am for Before the Dawn

Oh, my, you could set up an entirely new saga from this. I won't blame you if you don't, though.

Thanks for the entertainment.

"T"

JBern replied:

Maybe some other day.   Right now I have other things demanding my time, but I find the best stories can often give the reader a conclusion to the storyline, but enough threads dangling out there to tantalize their imagination.

Thanks for all the reviews and I hope your work is going well.~Jim

WNabors posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 8:58am for Before the Dawn

An impressive end to an awesome story.

JBern replied:

Thanks!   Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim

gadriam posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 8:56am for Before the Dawn

Thank you.

This was the greatest "finish" I've ever read. How could it be different?

g

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.~Jim

Dark lord knox posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 8:37am for Before the Dawn

Whoo the natives are gunna rebel, watch out white man lol, that was and awsome fic Jbern.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.~Jim

bigzj51 posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 8:23am for Before the Dawn

/standing and cheering

Hell yeah I'll read your original stuff.

This story kicked the asses all over the place.

Bravo

JBern replied:

Hopefully, I'll have some good news on the original stories front soon.   One of my original shorts is under consideration for an anthology.~Jim

dwilken posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 8:19am for Before the Dawn

Bravo! Clap, clap, clap!

JBern replied:

Thanks for all your reviews.   I appreciate it.~Jim

jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 8:02am for Before the Dawn

Outstanding Ending!!!! I loved the ending! I'm glad to hear that your not gonna stop writing.

JBern replied:

No, I'll likely be writing more, but much of it will be original and intended for publication.~Jim

Christopher Patton posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 7:58am for Before the Dawn

Great conclusion to this amazing story. Your ending just sends chills down my spine when I think about what this world might be like in twenty years.

This was a much stronger and harsher look at the HP world than most ever dream of writing. I'm glad that you followed this story through to its end. It's been an incredible trip through blood, gore, pain, and death to an end that contains a few shining lights amidst many growing shadows.

Thanks for writing this for all of us to enjoy and I'm looking forward to more of "The Lie I've Lived" and "Turn me Loose".

JBern replied:

My original ending was Penny teaching to a classroom full of students and every one of them having a copy of the Diary of Tom Riddle.   It had a real creepy Boys from Brazil feel to it, but I liked this one better.   Thanks for all the reviews along the way.   I hope my future works will continue to impress you.~Jim

robesh posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 7:49am for Before the Dawn

Great! Simply amazing end! Thank you for your great stories, and the feeling of being satisfied after reading a new chapter.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.   I hope my future works continue to impress you as much.~Jim

Jamey posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 7:37am for Before the Dawn

You may say this Universe has run it's course - but you've *CERTAINLY* left it open for one or more sequels - as well as leaving poor Harry where he will have a fight from a half-dozen sides at once. This is not an optimistic, nice Wizarding World you have created - this is one Ed Becerra would feel is only slightly candy-coated.

Whoa! Hell of a trip!

JBern replied:

I've heard Ed's name before, but have never had the pleasure.   I wanted to leave a good portion up to the reader's imagination of what happens next after the chess board is swept clean and someone starts setting up the pieces for the next game.   Much like the end of a real war - everyone is out for themselves.

Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim