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fyrecat posted a comment on Wednesday 24th December 2008 7:25am for It's Always Darkest

Yikes! Another wicked cliffhanger! I can't wait to read this battle!

just a few notes on editorial issues from this chapter. I have noticed a distinct improvement in your writing mechanics over the course of this story. Good job!

"Far less humorous was his losses;"
- Were his losses.
Losses is plural, so the plural form of 'was' is required.

Clever trick with the floo messages!

"I will tell you the secret of how work and more importantly how they can be beaten.”
- how *they* work...

"...forbidden to all non-authorized personal."
- Personal vs personnel.
Personal = having to do with an individual person. Personnel = persons or people.

:...Ministry will be able to respond quicker..." - more quickly

“I’m not interrupting anything was I?” - Verb tense agreement - 'I'm I?' -OR- 'I wasn't ... was I?'

"I asked him if I going out..." - if *me* going out...

"before he get’s lucky or the Minister gets sloppy."
- Well you're batting 500 in this sentence. You got the second one right, but threw in the inappropriate apostrophe the first time.
Apostrophes are ONLY used for 2 things.
1) To indicate missing letters (he is => he's/ they are => they're)
2) To indicate possession. (Harry's wand/ it's foot).

“I think that put more than a few in their place." - More *than* a few. 'Then' deals with time.

JBern replied:

Much of that was due to Kokopelli's beta work.  I benefitted greatly from his help.~Jim

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd January 2008 4:22pm for It's Always Darkest

You know, despite Narcissa arranging all of this, I really hope both she and Charlie make it out of this okay. I know that their safety has already been "assured", but this is a time of war.

Can't wait for the final confrontation. Good thing I don't have to... haha.

JBern replied:

So where's the review of the final chapter?  I'm curious to see what you thought of the ending.  ~Jim

joeBob posted a comment on Thursday 15th November 2007 12:04am for It's Always Darkest

Masterful Voldemort. He really has earned victory.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.  I hope my other works continue to impress you.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Tuesday 13th November 2007 3:36am for It's Always Darkest

Poor Harry, turning into Michael Jackson is not a good thing. I really like the newspaper clippings and the cleverness of how they destroyed the floo system so easily. Classic Voldie not to have contingency plans.

JBern replied:

Hardly anyone else mentioned the MJ joke.  Here I figured it would have garnered a few more comments.  I forgot to put in the Scrimgeour epilogue that they were reactivating the Floo network with Voldy's control crystal still in place.  I kept meaning to add that, but I forgot.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 1:19am for It's Always Darkest

Just like a typical jbern thriller, MAJOR cliffhanger going into the final battle.

Terrific stuff!

JBern replied:

Oh it wasn't that bad!  I already posted the conclusion and look forward to your comments.  Thanks for all the help along the way.~Jim

busted posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 8:31pm for It's Always Darkest

This is just a rhetorical question I felt like sharing with others. Why doesn't anyone ever use guns?

I know jk wouldn't put guns in because it kind of ruins the fights since guns would end up winning. Bullets are so fast that unless you are ready before the gun is fired you won't get a shield up intime. I read one fanfic where someone was just having a joke with the idea. He had harry up in one of hogwarts towers with a sniper and when voldemort came out onto the grounds with nagini he shoots the snake then voldemort in the head. Wallah!! he is dead....

JBern replied:

In some of my others stories, I've gone out of my way to show that Magical folks have "bulletproof" runes woven in to their clothing, much like the old AD&D spell Protection from Normal Missles.

In this story, I did have Harry use some WW2 era bombs against the Death Eater HQ.  Hopefully, that counts for something.  (He also uses some explosives at the beginning of the final chapter...)

Inherently, too much focus on guns would take away from the "magic" side, if you catch my drift.~Jim

busted posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 8:17pm for It's Always Darkest

Another great chapter. I am definately looking forward to the next one.

JBern replied:

And now it's posted...

Thanks for the reviews.~Jim

jono74656 posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 7:13pm for It's Always Darkest

You are an evil, evil man! Leaving the story at such a crucial juncture!!!!! Bad cliffie! No Donut!!

No that that's out of my system let me just say that this story is a masterwork of fiction, and the day it is finished for good will be a sad day in my house.

JBern replied:

Can I have my donut now?~Jim

PerfesserN posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 2:31pm for It's Always Darkest

And here we sit, on the edge of our seats. Thank you for the A/N suggesting a very timely update.
Oooooo, three newborn children for the hag, I wonder if the hag is some kind of plant; someone working for the "Light" side to ensure the survival of the Potter triplets?
I have to say, again, that I appreciate your interpretation of Voldemort here - intelligent, capable, and not afraid to get his hands dirty. Much more than the mustache-twirling caricature found in other works.
We are looking forward to the next (last?) thrilling episode with baited breath.
Write on, write on!

JBern replied:

Okay, you can brush your teeth.  I've posted the conclusion and frankly the breath was beginning to smell a bit too baited.~Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 12:58pm for It's Always Darkest

Whoa, looking forward to the last battle, and as bad as its gotten, it looks like there's not going to be much of the wizarding world for Tom to rule after it's all said and done.

JBern replied:

The finale will be posted soon.  I think you'll be impressed.~Jim

Fenris Ulf posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 11:59am for It's Always Darkest

You evil evil man!!! I clicked the next button about 50 times holding out hope that maybe just maybe there wouldn't be this very mean cliff hanger.

I can't wait for more of this action. Rita Skeeters articals in Brit and in the US being so different from each other were really well done. Did Penny kill her? She's in that area right?


JBern replied:

It'll be up soon.  I need to get it back from editing.  Other questions will be answered, but I'm sure you'll be left with even more questions.~Jim

Crys posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 8:18am for It's Always Darkest

I recognized a couple names in there . . . :)

Liked the American news report. Just enough subtle changes (Forbiddens) to make it clear that it's a change but basically the same kind of thing.

"Paul Revere's glamoured broomstick"? *laugh* BTW, would an American say "glamour" or "glamor" (or illusioned or some other term)?

Great chapter. Helluva cliffy, though.

Now to see if Cissy is loyal to Draco or to Harry . . .

JBern replied:

Yeah, I figured I'd save my best cliffhanger for last.  Glad you liked the Americanisms and you make a good point about glamour/glamor/illusion...

Thanks for the review.~Jim

Jizzle posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 3:59am for It's Always Darkest

Great chapter. I am really looking forward to seeing Harry kick Voldemort's ass. This is my favorite Voldie ever, and I'm sure the fight is going to be amazing. Also, Susan and the triplets better make it!

As for specifics of this chapter, I though the series of newspaper articles was extremely well done. Also, Draco being so completely sure that Voldie will win seems to me to be a great setup for that moment when Draco realizes that Harry has won.

JBern replied:

I enjoyed writing Rita, but it was time for her to go.  As for Draco, you'll see next week when I get it back from editing.~Jim

Darak1 posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 12:13am for It's Always Darkest

I doubt this harry would have kept the same ward scheme Narcissa communicated, I know I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her and would plan alternates to everything with nobody being aware of the complete setting beside me and I certainly wouldn't rely on magic only to protect the house, remotely activated claymores, gatling gun hidden inside the walls and some system to power the automated defenses besides my own.

On top of that wards activated after the first layer was broken to cut the attacking force in two would complete the system.

Harry is far from being stupid he should have at least part of that in place especialy with the ease wizards have to travel abroad and bring the needed supply from there.

JBern replied:

So many questions and only one answer - coming next week.  Thanks for the review.~Jim

DiscountNinja posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 12:03am for It's Always Darkest

Ooooh! The banshee was a wonderful touch there! lol I can sense that the next chapter will need an awful lot body bags =|

And Rita is dead! Right after she escaped too ... I'm looking forward to seeing her remaining articles, actually =)

JBern replied:

Well, I can promise you there are several boxes of body bags needed next chapter.  Yeah too bad about Rita, but it was such a nice way to transition the story and cover the passage of time.~Jim

morriganscrow posted a comment on Saturday 10th November 2007 11:11pm for It's Always Darkest

Woah! That was intense!
An excellent chapter, beautifully paced and masterfully written. Even now, I'm unsure Harry will prevail.
Your descriptions of a smart, tactically savvy Voldemort are chilling, and the various methods you have him using are both logical and vicious.
I am twitching with anticipation of the final chapter.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked the ride.  It's almost coming back into the station, but there is one more big turn ahead!  I look forward to your comments when you see the finale.~Jim

Teaos posted a comment on Saturday 10th November 2007 11:09pm for It's Always Darkest

I presume the title of this chapter "Its always darkest" Is the first half of "Its always darkest just before the dawn" which would imply that the light is going to win.

I want Hermione to die painfully.

My bet is on Harry dying. You have said several times you want this to be like Saving private ryan and in that Tom Hanks dies.

It would also be on of only 3 stories I;ve read that harry dies in so thats a bigg ++

I honestly thought there would be more panic in the castle After Dumbledore died.

JBern replied:

I'll be curious to see what you think of the conclusion.  I'll post it when I get it back from editing.  Thanks for all the reviews. 

Doesn't everyone want Hermione to die painfully?


grovepjp posted a comment on Saturday 10th November 2007 7:09pm for It's Always Darkest

Brilliant as always.

Keep it up


JBern replied:

Thanks.  I only have to keep it up for one more chapter!~Jim

maddy143ded posted a comment on Saturday 10th November 2007 5:24pm for It's Always Darkest

you know your harry is behaviour is bordering near the Cannon Harry. (stupid).
but whatever the hell it is one of the best stories out there so i dont mind.

JBern replied:

I'll be curious to see what your comments are for the conclusion.~Jim

warpwizard posted a comment on Saturday 10th November 2007 5:21pm for It's Always Darkest

Whoa. Good stuff. I hope Narcissa steps on a land mine somewhere.

Looking forward to the slaughter, I mean conclusion.

JBern replied:

I kind of like Cissy.  She's an impressive gal.  More slaughter err conclusion ahead!~Jim