Keeroo92 posted a comment on Friday 18th February 2011 5:58pm for And I'm Here to Please

Harry seems a little dark. Is he really becoming the next darklord? It would be understandable after all the shut he's put up with.

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd February 2009 4:40am for And I'm Here to Please

Brilliant chapter, love the disgusting hagrid and hack stuff. Dumbledore is a right git for doing that to harry was quite funny though.

Sorry I don't review and read so much now. Rebel Goddess and I used to read and chat on-line when we lived apart due to her being at uni but now we live together I can't find the time to read fanfic as she has a lot more free time.

I'm trying to as I enjoy your stories so much!

Monkey

fyrecat posted a comment on Sunday 28th December 2008 8:26pm for And I'm Here to Please

LOL! The Hagrid / Hack scene was hilarious!
I also loved seeing Snape finally get some if the payback he has earned.

Thanks!

editorial notes:
- none. Well done!

vandallas posted a comment on Sunday 29th June 2008 3:03pm for And I'm Here to Please

heh, mouthful

JBern replied:

It was a mouthful.~Jim

noylj posted a comment on Sunday 29th June 2008 2:50pm for And I'm Here to Please

I trust the Dumbles gets a real mouthful. As old as he is, he should know about making an ally into an enemy.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad I can really make you irked at the old coot.~Jim

katiedidnt365 posted a comment on Thursday 19th June 2008 3:47am for And I'm Here to Please

this story is hilarious!!=) please please please update soon!!!!!!

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.~Jim

Carol Layland posted a comment on Thursday 5th June 2008 1:05pm for And I'm Here to Please

Having just finished reading all six chapters posted here I must admit that the English Teacher in me is completely fascinated by your view of Harry Potter and how he has turned out. I do like every bit of the story as it stands now and hope that as you write more of it you let me know when you do the posting. The Story is just esoteric and off beat enough to be completely entrancing. I have often felt that the Dumbledore Character is a bit more manipulative that is shown overtly in Ms Rowlings writings. Perhaps because she is European in person her characters reflect this view more that would an American's view.

JBern replied:

Thank you very much for the review.   Given your status as an English Teacher, I have to be pleased that I turned your head.   Subscribing to my stories will get you an email alert any time I post a new chapter or story.

Personally, I felt that book 7 was more about explaining Snape and Dumbledore than it was about HP.   I still haven't been able to complete it.

In one of my other stories, I tried to do a "Voldemort for the Ages".   In this one, I want to portray a "manipulative bastard" version of Dumbledore the likes of which have not been seen.   You'll have to let me know how well I pull it off.

Hopefully, when my original novel comes out, you'll be intrigued enough to take a gander.

Regards,

Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 10:31pm for And I'm Here to Please

Finally I have time to read this — HUZZAH! I liked the no good come-back idea. LOL at Snape only being seconds away from a horrible death. I think he permanently is around this Harry. The Order conversation was interesting. Why would it take them that long other than for the plot device? The mind boggles if Hack wasn’t trying to ride the Centaur. LOL again at Hagrid’s social life. Hawg’trid did indeed bend the boundaries of good taste. In fact I think Harry wasn’t the only one smelling bile but it was still funny so it passes. Loved Harry’s duel with Snape, if you can call it that. Poor Katie, no wonder everyone stays away from Loony when she behaves like that. Liked the purple sky idea.

I imagine the conversation with Ginny left a rather bitter taste in Harry’s mouth. It’s difficult to see how she can be anything but a social outcast if the truth comes to light. Loved the "And people say this girl is insane…". Dumbledore is insane, right? Because turning Harry into a footrest is only going to piss him off. Luna’s double-speak is as enjoyable as ever. LOL at the "redirect your anger with sexual innuendo" — brilliant line. Borderline Necromancy? This is going to be messy. Highly enjoyable chapter, as always. More please.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   You caught me on a morning dedicated to catching up on review replies.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter.   I'm almost finished with LIe 13, but things have been hectic around here lately.

Hope all is well on the other side of the pond.~Jim

nfk posted a comment on Sunday 1st June 2008 3:11am for And I'm Here to Please

You know, I never thought a 2nd person story would be as enjoyable as this and Bungle in the Jungle are. Sure I've read a bunch of Choose Your Own Adventures when I was a kid, but this takes the 2nd person concept and makes it cool again.

Your Dumbledore is so annoying and such an asshole that he's become completely awesome. I love to hate that guy. And he little do... um, bird too! I just hope Harry gets some revenge for that little footstool thing on both Dumbledore and Fawkes.

The Luna-Dumbledore conversation over an inanimate Potter was nothing short of brilliant. For him to hold such a conversation with Loony (and to give her points to boot) borders on gleeful lunacy and moves Dumbledore up a peg on both the awesome and asshole scale. Damn that guy is annoying, but he's sooooooo cool while doing it.

Whatever you are smoking and/or taking, keep it up. I look forward to the next chapter and some borderline Necromancy among friends!

JBern replied:

Glad you liked the chance I took on doing this story in this format.   In my other story, I tried to give a definative version of Voldemort.   In Bungle/TML I want to give a manipulative Dumbledore readers will compare all others against and really set the standard.

The best revenge Harry can get is making it so Dumbledore holds no power over him...

Ben10 posted a comment on Thursday 22nd May 2008 5:51pm for And I'm Here to Please

Good to know that you're back! I hope your book writing went well.

JBern replied:

The writing went well and I can finally catch up on my review replies - as you probably already noticed since I replied to a real old one from you as well.   Next chapter of this one by June 15th.

Wolfric posted a comment on Thursday 22nd May 2008 5:14am for And I'm Here to Please

Good chapter. I knew Hack and Hagrid would be mates. It seems to me that AD's actions in attacking Harry might work towards mitigating Harry's oath; if it doesn't then Harry returning the favor might not oppose the oath. I'd like to see Harry get a little something back from Albus. Maybe it is time for him to meditate on not attacking ones supposed allies let alone the diplomatic envoy of another nation. Thanks for writing. W.

JBern replied:

The best revenge Harry can have is getting himself into a position where AD has no power over him...

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 6:58pm for And I'm Here to Please

Dumbles won't be happy, no he won't. THis looks fascinating. good luck.

JBern replied:

No, I definitely think he won't be pleased.   However, I am happy that you are enjoying things.   More coming soon.~Jim

liquidfyre posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 6:53pm for And I'm Here to Please

Very nice i love Hagrid's new name.

Im glad your still updating as i was a bit worried already to be honest, thinking that something really was wrong with you this time heh.

Now Update soon or i shall have to send you some very candid shot of myself and well to be honest im rather hairy and ya might not enjoy it.

*grins* Keep up the good work.

JBern replied:

That's just wrong...

I'm almost done with Lie 13.   More of this one coming soon.~Jim

reimanr06 posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 3:21pm for And I'm Here to Please

I thought Dumbledore was the frickin man in this chapter. I'm actually on his side. All teenagers need a good slap upside the head from time to time when they are acting foolish (I should know, I've been one for the past 6 years!)

JBern replied:

I'm not a huge fan of "rollover and take it" versions of Dumbledore.   I want the man to have some spine.   After all, there's a reason he's the only one Voldemort ever feared...

Thanks for the review.~Jim

MonCappy posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 1:49am for And I'm Here to Please

Dumbledore may be a manipulative little prick; but he certainly humiliated Harry with style. Susan Bones is a whiny little bitch who needs to rely on herself instead of expecting Harry to be her savior.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review and kudos for the avatar on DLP.   I enjoyed using Susan in this story to illustrate the unrealistic expectations of all the Hogwarts students, especially in light of her role in my other story.

Regards,

Jim

Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 12:42am for And I'm Here to Please

Welcome back! Very entertaining chapter. Not sure what Dumbledore was hoping to achieve by turning Harry into a footrest, but it was pretty funny. And of course Hack and Hagrid's grand adventures were too. But I can't wait till Fleur and Luna get together- that should be great. Thanks for writing, and good luck with your original stuff. I know I'll be looking into it.
Jay

JBern replied:

Harry thinks he knows what AD is up to.   Only time will tell.   Thanks for the review.~Jim

The Crow posted a comment on Tuesday 20th May 2008 12:29pm for And I'm Here to Please

The conscious doormat-ish metaphor thing was a sharp kick in the groin.

It does seem like a jump, but his flat 2D character before this really grated me.
He was simply the conflict - fuel to the fire, and while Harry was in the jungle and Albus in the background it seemed to smooth over nicely.
Then we come back to an Albus unregretably manipulating Harry for his own means and only peeved it all hit the fan.
It was a sad read really, especially when Harry gave him verbal beatings in his little monologues like an Indy Harry does(despite your work on this, the speeches do flow a little unaturally maybe make them a little less robotic, add more detail or something - I digress) but basically he was the emotionless Headmaster attempting to assert control over his puppet.

To see his more manic side, and his drive for power. Well, now he is a force to be reckoned with, rather than 'Oh Harry'
I saw a return to form, and now judging it with what we've seen so far is getting interesting.
Things aren't so swell, and even in his own playground there are plenty of tasks at hand you can't wave off.

Dumbledores attack threw me right off, had me questioning who it was, and now what his motivations are. The first time that I've actually been hooked in TML, along with the oath.
It's obvious in his eyes that Harry is a pawn - but to see him wrench control like that. Shows me that Dumbledore is higher on the priority list, more than mere nuisance.

Bogdan's starwars reference is interesting. Didn't consider Albus may have considered Black Library also.

Ginny confrontation was just right. Having her guilt out, or having Harry leave with a sense of smugness, retribution or whatever just wouldn't work. Anti climactic is great. Harry has to grow up, and he's realising she's not worth his time. Merely a background character.

Snape is interesting, Harry has given the odd whipping here and there. But maybe your steering clear of fanfic vent on Snape? Even with nothing but contempt, it's interesting there's a third party to confide in.

Harry's relationship so far has been so-so, but may be a little strained with all that's going on. I'm predicting vulnerable Luna to lash out at some point.
I'm feeling a litle Harry/Hermione tension... it's interesting... I had a feeling this scene was gonna be written at some point by you Jim, you dog.

Lastly enjoyed the Hack/Hagrid debauchery goings-on, was a nice ease into the chapter.



Welcome back! Best of luck with dead eye, was worth the wait - quality chapter man.
Havent felt this "wordy" with regards to a fic in ages.

Cheers.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the long review.   Finally catching up on all my replies.   I want you folks hating AD.   The better I capture this version of him the more you will.

You have a good prediction about a vulnerable feeling Luna.   She's pretty socially stunted and Harry's antics would test even the most mature 15 yr old.   Expect a bumpy ride.

Regards,

Jim

Puck1 posted a comment on Tuesday 20th May 2008 10:32am for And I'm Here to Please

Nice job so far. Keep up the good work...I can't wait to see DD's face.

JBern replied:

Neither can I, but I just can't seem to write any faster....

Thanks for the review.~Jim

Infin1x posted a comment on Tuesday 20th May 2008 9:30am for And I'm Here to Please

I'm a fan of your writing and the way you almost go out of your way to challenge the norm and I know I can always come to you for bitter and angry characters but sometimes you go a bit to far.

Bungle was great because while Harry was bitter and angry (with reason) it was more about Harry growing and experiencing life. Here in TML the return to Hogwarts has just brought out all of Harry's uglier traits. I am always up for tweaking Dumbles' nose and my opinion of the wizarding world in general in less than complimentary but this chapter actually made me dislike Harry. The "making a little girl cry" felt a bit off but then after what Ginny did... But the going off on Susan Bones, while I could agree with the sentiment, felt like the moral equivalent of kicking a little kid while their crying about losing their lollipop.

Also I really dislike cheering for Dumbles, but when he transfigured Harry my first thought was about how uncalled for his attack on Snape was even if it was Snape because he had actually been attempting to help in a selfless a manner as Snape is capable.

So here's hoping that this will be a turning point for Harry and he either comes to the conclusion himself or someone beats it into him that he has been out of line.

JBern replied:

I agree with you.   Harry wasn't that likeable in this chapter.   As Luna aptly pointed out, he's rubbish at social situations and he's actually trying.   In previous stories (ie canon) Harry's been a socially inept wizard who feels ill at ease in the limelight.   That can't change overnight.   Compare his lashing out at Susan with berating Ron and Hermione at the beginning of book 5.

Anyway, I'm glad I was able to evoke a reaction out of you even if it is I am disliking the main character.   Throughout Bungle you saw things only through Harry's eyes.   Now you're getting the equivalent of a good look in the mirror at the Harry *you've* become and it should be a bit unsettling.

Regards,

Jim

Rexnos posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 3:35pm for And I'm Here to Please

I like the whole attention drawing bit of the life-debt idea. It's a logical reason for why Ginny became so addicted to Harry even when Harry wasn't paying attention to her. It really bugs me that I can never come up with original ideas like that one. It means I feel guilty if I use them in the piece I'm trying to write.

Of course, it pretty much impossible to be entirely original. If you're writing Harry Potter fan fiction, chances are you're going to copy someone, whether you know it or not.

Regardless, another good update. The whole Hagrid, Hack and the trolls thing was pleasantly revolting and left some wonderfully horrible imagery in my mind. Hack is too awesome for words. I mean, the chief's wife AND daughter.

Later,
Rex

JBern replied:

Hi Rex,

Glad you enjoyed my take on a life-debt.   Don't feel guilty.   It's fanfic.   Just keep writing and you'll get better.

Hack and Hagrid?   Well I like to push the boundaries of good taste every now and again.   Considering Hagrid is the offspring of a tryst between a giantess and a human he probably has different views on humanoid sexual relations.