By JBern
Reviews
LP posted a comment on Thursday 10th May 2007 8:20pm
Great fic, especially for the plot, haven't seen anyone come up with this idea before, and that is always refreshing.
Keep it up, it's good to know that there is someone out there with real creativity.
JBern replied:
Thank you. Chapter 4 will be out next week, so look for it then. I think you'll be pleased with what is coming ...~Jim
MarkH posted a comment on Thursday 10th May 2007 11:37am
This is actually a really interesting story. I was a bit confused about how a "dead" man had his memories within the "boy" though - so I am assuming Lilly did something...
Hope to see more soon and thanks for writing it.
Regards
JBern replied:
Chapter 4 is coming next week. Look for it then and thanks for reviewing.~Jim
Jinshun Wang posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 9:27pm
Wow...I nipped over to DLP, and their reactions were...harsh. Personally, I can't see anything wrong with this story. An interesting perspective, a new plot twist, and a deeper development of characters that are normally on the sidelines makes this story into something new and refreshing, just like your other two works. Sure, we know Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the Gryffindors. But what those people that normally are on the peripherals? So many people tend to write them off, focusing on what I consider to be minor characters (like Siruis Black: emotional hang-up plot device). However, you manage to bring them into the action, showing that even though they aren't a "major" player, they still can affect how the world turns. Your Bungle in the Jungle was the best example of this, bringing together a multi-national team to hunt down the Hocrux. Hopefully, you can also show such attention to the "minor" characters in this story as well, making Fleur more than merely a pretty piece of fluff and Krum a Quidditch superstar.
JBern replied:
They're harsh for a reason. Some of them are upset because my stories are so popular and they have a bit of a counter culture thing going on there. This story was a direct challenge to two of their 'cool' members, so all their syncophants run out to pan the story.
Needless to say one withdrew from the contest and the other one hasn't shown any indication that he's even writing. I'm proceeding onwards. In fact, I'll be 'abandoning' the contest format and working with my crew at Alpha fight club to make this story even better.
Chapter 4 is coming next week. I hope to finish HJ's summer out and get back to Hogwarts. I think you'll be surprise with what I have in store for Fleur and Krum.
Jim
joe lemen posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd April 2007 11:44pm
I have too stop drinking whenever you have the Hat talking. My computer just can't handle the spray!
Your take on the Hat is wonderful, and it's opion of the Headmaster is f*****g hurt my ribs laughing funny.
I am interested in where you end up taking this story. Just keep the Hat in the mix and I'm sure I'll enjoy.
JBern replied:
Wow! Sorry I didn't respond in a timely fashion, but now with Bungle finished this story rises in the rotation. Chapter 4 is coming next week. I promise more Sorting Hat.~Jim
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Tuesday 27th March 2007 1:12am
This was good. I really enjoyed a take on James last stand against Voldemort. So many seem to think that Voldemort just killed him effortlessly but I like that he went down fighting. I particularly liked that he uses quite a bit of transfiguration in the short battle. Olivander always said that James wand was good for transfiguration and Lilly's for charms work. Nice tie in with that.
I hope you able to continue this as its still very good.
Monkey
JBern replied:
I'll definitely continue this. My other two stories obviously have precedence. I'd really like to be able to mark my some of my stories as complete.~Jim
riegert8 posted a comment on Monday 26th March 2007 12:03pm
I understand that want to show that James and Lily did not have a perfect marriaged, but I thought that could been pointed out in a different way. I can't see that Harry and Lupin would ever be close for he would know that Lupin betrayed his father by sleeping with his mother. I do think this a good story, I just disagree with some parts. I will for the next chapter to see if I will still read it
JBern replied:
Well, I'm glad you will still be reading. It should make for an interesting scene if the priori incantem ever takes place. It'd be curious to see what HJ would have to say to the echo of Lily Potter.~Jim
warpwizard posted a comment on Monday 26th March 2007 9:24am
Good stuff, very meaty for a setup chapter.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. More coming soon.~Jim
rcat52 posted a comment on Monday 26th March 2007 5:15am
I like how this is going. learning the truth about lily , interesting. to me this dosen't need more polish and dosent that slow down the updates? more please.
JBern replied:
My other two stories are nearing completion and demand the majority of my attention until they are done. Until then, this story is on a sporadic updating schedule.~Jim
cjonbloodletter posted a comment on Sunday 25th March 2007 4:42pm
I loved the seaming confusion throughout the whole memory seen, what with all the first person, third person, James, and Harry mix-ups(I'm assuming that it was intentional). It really brought togethor what Harry wasoing through.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. I'm still trying to find my feel for writing 1st person, sp ot should be getting better as the chapters continue.~Jim
dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Sunday 25th March 2007 11:16am
The bit with Remus and Lilly came out of left
field, but then I expect James wasn't exactly
idle either. James' fight with Voldy was rather
short, but I think his defense was a bit bland.
A little imagination and some time to prepare and
Harry-James should have him crushed in short
order.
Of course if you want to be really cruel to Harry
you can start giving him his mother's memories as
well.
JBern replied:
In my section of the forums, there is a long discussion on my rationalizations for James, Lily and Remus. James was prepared, but Voldemort simply was too powerful in their fight.~Jim
ichtys posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 11:18pm
Hi Jim.
It is nice to see the plot moving along. I hope you can keep the changes to canon believable.
One thing I slightly dislike in this fic, is the language used, especially by the hat. I know you do it for a reason, but excessive swearing just annoys me. What is it exactly, that you want to accomplice by the language? Are you trying to how us that the Hat isn't some kind-spirited object, that exists only to serve Hogwarts? I think you could have done that without using such foul language.
I have noticed that you have made a comment about Lily and James' relationship as you see it. I'll post some comments in that thread @ FFA, but I just have to make a comment here as well. Not considering Canon, I still think Lily and Remus' affair is questionable. In chapter one Harry had no problems whatsoever with Remus, and I think that gives you a little continuity problem. Even if Harry's memories were suppressed, the affair would have been more believable if you had added a little tension in chapter one (in the conversation between Harry and Remus). I don't claim to know anything about psychology, I just think that even suppressed memories can effect you, or at least your subconsciousness. I don't demand (as a reader of fan-fiction that is something I avoid) that you make Lily and James into saints, or the paragon of virtue. I just think you could have used other elements to show that they had their problems, without pulling the big "affair with my best friend" plot device out of the closet. Personally, I like to entertain the idea that Peter used some very subtle comments to raise suspicion towards Remus. Lily wouldn't hear of the comments James and Sirius were making, and kept welcoming Remus with open arms. That could have provided enough tension for your plot if it were expanded a bit (you could end it just short of letting them have an affair).
I look forward to see where you are taking this, Jim. There are just some elements in the story that I don't like.
Regards Ichtys
JBern replied:
I didn't want to spend a massive amout of time on the flashbacks. Amazing how many readers will put up with Harry cheating on Ginny or Hermione and vice versa. James cheating on Lily, who cares? But throw in an instance where Lily is unfaithful and watch out! I think it is more tragic to portray James and Lily's marriage faltering under the massive strain that it was under. So many authors have James as a happy prankster up until the moment Voldy knocks on the door. I wanted to do a more melancholy James.
As for the language, sorry you don't like. It won't be as pronounced in later chapters. I still justify my version of the Hat by saying that it's personality is reflective of the 10th century when it was created. By all historical accounts, it was a rough and tumble period in European history. I don't see a need to make the Hat a sophisticated and elegant object.~Jim
riegert8 posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 12:30pm
A ok chapter. It nice that Harry get some of his father memmory's. Do mean that he chase after his version of Lily that she would cheat on him like his mother did, I thought that was stupid is that saying Lily would cheat on her husband. I just put down as an another author want to tear down Lily. Why was Lily with James if she did not love him ?
JBern replied:
In the forums section of this site, I have a long rationalization on why I did what I did with the characterizations of James, Lily and Remus for this story. I like to make people 'real' and not paragons of virtue. Lily and James were barely into their 20s in the midst of a war that had cost both of them their parents. I think making her have a sudden moment of weakness makes her a more believable character.~Jim
riegert8 posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 12:04pm
This a good chapter. Sad that Harry would have his father memmory's, It sad that Harry doubt who is. I would think that it not hard to guess it's Harry's body with James memmory's. I disagree with the sorting hat, I would think that he be bored but he is a big asshole. I would hold off on my option about tri wizard tournment and changed you plan to do, I just hope that making it for a better story and not because you think your better then the author.
JBern replied:
The question of identity may never be answered to HJP's satisfaction. In the end, he is who he is and there isn't much that whining or angsting can change.~Jim
riegert8 posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 11:42am
This is a good chapter, I hate to admit that I was going to skip it.I thought it was odd that James and Harry merge into one person and it take so long for it to come out. But I thought I give a shot because I like your other two story's, I may disagree some part in it but they were pretty good. I like how that Harry dealing with everything that happen, Sirius escape, Peter goes back to Voldemort and Lupin have to resign. Harry and Lupin has a good talk, I do admit that I am surprise that Lupin is going to take some time before seeking Sirius out.Oliver is getting ready for his tryout with Puddlemere, I knew that he would do that for the fact that he want to prove that he has the skill to play pro. It really funny that Oliver and Katie thought that Harry was holding back that he has skills as a chaser, but then Harry was a seeker and never was aked to play as chaser. It nice that Harry get a chance to workout with Oliver, it might be a big help to Harry and Oliver. Harry is becoming a better flirt, It nice that starting to help other students. I have to admit this a better story then I thought it be.
JBern replied:
I'm glad you like the story. As for Remus' plans, he's not going to deliberately say anything to Harry about his plans to meet up with Sirius. Glad you like the part with Oliver and Katie.~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 9:34am
I am fond of action sequences so this chapter is not quite as much my cup of tea as some of your others but it is good and it is often necessary to set the stage for future developements. Thanks for your efforts. W.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Of course do you really think HJ would run from a crowd of DE's at the world cup? There should be some more action coming soon.~Jim
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 7:52am
BLOODY AMAZING!!!! I love how the Hat acts and I love how Harry reacts and thinks and I also love whats going on inside Harry's head. I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. DO keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)
JBern replied:
Glad you like it. My other stories are begging to be finished, so the updates to this one will be sporadic at best. Though I try to keep the chapter length down so I can squeeze an update in every once in awhile. Bungle is complete in 3 chapters and Darkness has about 8 left in it. After that this one takes precedence until I start the sequel to Bungle.~Jim
Malaskor posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 5:36am
Oh, I forgot something:
Lilly cheating on James with Remus rubbed me a bit wrong - Remus is by far the most moral of the Marauders (at least as far as we know from canon). I would have seen Sirius as much more likely in this role (but then again there is the question of wether Lilly would even be atracted to Sirius, as Remus's studious nature seems more in line with Lilly's).
JBern replied:
Visit my section on the forums part of this website. I have a long reply for the rationalizations behind how I portray Lily, James and Remus.~Jim
Malaskor posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 5:31am
Very interesting story. Now I'm wondering if James' memories were sent to Harry due to one of the prison-worthy experiments Lilly did - and if they were wether her memories were sent to someone too... if for some reason they ended up in Ginny that would explain her crush :) (though I'll admit that isn't needed for a crush). Of course the real confusion would come should Lilly's memories be within Harry too - just even deeper hidden, below James' memories - and as long as those aren't freed hers are hidden so well that even the Hat can't see a sign of them.
Ok, enough crazy speculation from me.
Keep it up and thanks for sharing
JBern replied:
Thanks for the commentary. I will neither confirm nor deny your theories. Glad you are enjoying the story.~Jim
djbe posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 4:47am
I don't know what to think of this story... It has some good parts, some weird parts, and some parts I dislike a bit (the hat for example). I'm curious as to how this story will evolve
JBern replied:
Sorry you don't care for the Hat. I like to take chances with characters that we barely know anything about. In TFtCD I turned Penny Clearwater into a Mata Hari. In Bungle I made Luna sane and doing everything on purpose. In this one I made the Sorting Hat a legacy of the time when it was created. 10th century England was a rough and tumble place in non-fictional history. Toss in magic and the founders and you can see where the Hat might have came from. Hope you stick around and enjoy it.~Jim
MagyarEagle posted a comment on Saturday 26th May 2007 1:36pm
JBern replied: