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KingsleyforPM posted a comment on Sunday 5th August 2007 7:21pm for According to the Plan

i love how u bring a "good" character who uses evil curses, i now love narcissa malfoy

JBern replied:

She is one of my favorites to write in this story.  More of her in chapter 37.~Jim

JoFarries posted a comment on Wednesday 16th May 2007 7:38pm for According to the Plan

Well, I've sat here and read this in 2 days, in between cleaning my house to prepare for a family visit. I like this one as much as I like Bungle in the Jungle, which was absolutely fantastic. Very much looking forward to more!

Jo F.

JBern replied:

Thank you.  Now you have another chapter to read so have a great weekend and enjoy Chapter 33.~Jim

FULLMETAL posted a comment on Sunday 6th May 2007 4:00am for According to the Plan

I never thought of the Rita situation like that before and my guess is that neither did JKR. Rita was meant to be just a plot device that was necessary in OotP nothing more. Besides I never got the impression that cannon Rita was that bright (BTW, your Rita is much more fun to read about) and neither were the Slytherins that she revealed her animagus form to (until Draco's sudden IQ spike during HBP). Besides what reason would they have to blackmail her, she made their year by humiliating Harry in the press! Can't wait to see what you have planned for the bodies of James and Lily! Or for Frank and Alice for that matter! The Lockhart bit was nice in that we don't get to see much of him in most other fics. In fact you may have set a record for the number of lines you gave him. So Is Luna dead seeing as she fell off a broom! And will Nev go even more psycho after this? Great chapter! Well written as always, keep it up!!!!!

JBern replied:

Chapter 33 now up for your enjoyment.  I do like my version of Rita better.  Imagine the mayhem she and Narcissa could cause as a tag team!

The answer to your Neville question is a definite yes!  Thanks for the review.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 8:17pm for According to the Plan

Oh good grief. Poor Charlie! I did love the fact that Narcissa was pregnant almost as much as Neville's new career. Not surprised at Coedus either. Great story. More please.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it!  I'm trying to finish off Bungle, so I can say that I have a completed story, but I'll be back to this soon.

Jim

grey_shadow_horse posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 1:48am for According to the Plan

I enjoyed reading this fic so far and I look forwards to read more. You write a very realistic harry/susan ship :) nice work

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliments.  I'll be writing more soon.~Jim

Patches posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 5:57pm for According to the Plan

Very good. I like the way all the intersecting stories relate to each other. I am a little concerned about Coedus. Is he going to betray them to Voldemort? Is he keeping his options open? What is his real adgenda? I'm so glad Narcissa and Charlie survived and Dolohov didn't. He was a nasty piece of work. Thank you for writing. pms

JBern replied:

We're all a little concerned about Unca Coedus...

More on Charlie's fate next chapter...

Thanks for reviewing.~Jim

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 1:25pm for According to the Plan

An interesting chapter with movement on all fronts. I will admit to more than a spot of concern with Voldemort's choice of targets, they don't seem to bode well for the "good guys". On the positive side, you have the good news the tapestry gives Susan and Narcissa - I hope Harcissa and Charlie make it through to enjoy their first chile and have more.

JBern replied:

Some commented that Harry didn't do enough, but I realize the constraints he is under.  He will be 'doing' something next chapter.~Jim

red jacobson1 posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 8:37am for According to the Plan

well; this has been one hell of a ride! I started with the first chapter yesterday and finished just now. You are really tough on the characters aren't you? Poor Luna; she really didn't get a chance to do much in this story *GRIN*

I have to say; Neville is really starting to scare me; he's gotten a wee bit too intense over the summer.

Red

JBern replied:

Wow, thanks for the marathon read.  I try and make it up to Luna in my other story by giving her a featured role.  Glad you enjoyed it and check back soon for more fun and games.~Jim

fraupapst posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 3:23am for According to the Plan

This story is amazing.

I'm a huge fan of Harry/Susan, probably cause it's perfect to develop the characters in a new way without resorting to stupid ships (like the majority of slash stories) or female-friend-bashing.

Apart from the very satisfying shipping-situation, it's mainly the utterly terrific fighting scenes that got me hooked. They're excellent.

You seem to get some grief over the much violence, but I think you got the death toll about right. From what is implied but not spelled out about the Wizarding World and the first war in canon, that's how I'd imagine it could happen - if there were two sides fighting.

Very scary and a really good idea is your take on Neville. I don't think I've ever read a story where he snaps and gets sneakily evil. Do you want him to replace Umbridge one day - liability-wise?

JBern replied:

Glad you like the ship and that you appreciate 'realistic' mayhem and violence.  I take a good deal of pride in making my fight scenes as impressive as I can deliver.  As for Neville, well....

Jim

Blackstone4005 posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 8:15pm for According to the Plan

WOW! There was an awful lot of wonderful action here. Thanks for another great read.

I especially loved the trip into Gileroy's thoughts. Too bad about Luna tho.

Way to go Harry...I'll see your Weasley twins and raise you one. Fertile indeed.

JBern replied:

Thanks.  Glad you enjoyed it.  I'm on vacation next week, so I don't know if I'll really get started on the next chapter, but when I get back look out...

Jim

creaothceann posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 1:49pm for According to the Plan

Argh, that one DE's choice of words is irritating. I don't think anyone from here would be so impolite to use foreign words like that - how about a good long "Mister Pettigrew"?

Voldie's tomb raiding seems to be too much effort for only aquiring some familiar inferi. It's effects on Harry and his relationship to DD might eventually turn for the worse, but somehow it rubs me the wrong way. I'm hoping for a less crude tactic.

Looks like Charlie has that same affinity for manly facial scars like his brother in canon & fanon. I suppose it's not Narcissa's pregnancy that made her furious like that, but actual affection? Let's hope for the best.
Nice note at the end, but Voldemort will only heed her wish as long as his resources are bound.
_

That was a nice way to spend the last few days. I miss some of canon's characteristics (e.g. not everyone strifes for pure realism), but it's certainly been enjoyable and gripping. I'm looking forward to the next chapters, including Bungle. :)

Some people are concerned about the lack of practical wizarding in HBP. Tom is unmatched here, and DD must have sensed that Harry with his heroism and lack of mental capabilities would stand no chance. His best bet would be removing the Horcruxes and trusting pure fate for a lucky shot. Tom had stopped his emotional development at an early age; this would be his vulnerability.

PS: Thanks also to ichtys for his recommendations some time ago over at the 'ward'.

JBern replied:

See you're making the error that he's going to turn them into run of the mill inferi.  That lacks grandeur and imagination...

Sorry you didn't like Herr Pettigrew, but it's not worth changing.  I kind of liked it.

Hopefully, Bungle 22 will be out this weekend and it will knock your socks off...

Ichtys is a great help to both my stories that he's working on.

Jim

 

Christopher Patton posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 3:21am for According to the Plan

You know I think I like this Narcissa a lot. If you're ever trying to think or a new story, how about Harry being raised by this Narcissa Black and Sirius.

JBern replied:

Tempting bunny you have there, but I'll pass based on all the other bunnies swirling in my thoughts.  Thanks for the review.~Jim

Crys posted a comment on Thursday 12th April 2007 2:49am for According to the Plan

That vampire's definitely turning into an interesting character.

I missed something. If the entire graveyard is a trap to kill DEs, then why leave James and Lily's bodies? At worst, when the first layer of traps is activated, portkey them out or something. What he plans to do with them will no doubt bring Harry nightmares, but AD's an idiot for allowing it to happen despite a good trap.

Okay, now THAT is a Rita I can respect.

That scene from inside Lockhart's head (at least until the fight) was amusing. Good for him to catch at least one of the bad guys. If nothing else, it was nice to see Luna go out well.

Narcissa's previous name is on the tapestry, but Susan's is not?

Charlie, you devil.

Wicked fight scene.

Looking forward to more.

JBern replied:

Well Dumbles did have a trap to vanish the bodies if someone violated the crypt.  Problem was Voldy defeated his clever trap.  Hermione isn't the only person capable of being 'too clever for their own good'.

I'm sure that Harry and Dumbles will be having a discussion about what just happened.

Thanks for your comment on Rita.  It's tempting to write a story about Hermione coming home after 4th year to find Aurors waiting for her to arrest her for Kidnapping, Blackmail and Coercion into a Magical Oath.

All those trumped up toss Harry in Azkaban stories, I could do a twist with them tossing Hermione in there and using that against Harry in his 5th year.

Damn another bunny....

Anyway, Naricssa divorced.  She's a Black again.  Susan's married.  It replaced her maiden name.  In Narcissa's case it struck through her name because she is still linked via Draco

Very glad you liked the fight scene.  I don't do romance that well, so I work hard on the action sequences and the plot twists.

Jim

jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Wednesday 11th April 2007 9:21am for According to the Plan

AWESOME CHAPTER!!!! I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. You plan to end the story by chapter 40 you say, I say hogwash because everbody knows that wont happen. I hope that when you say end the story you end it with something about Harry and Susan and Narcissa and Charlie and their kids being born, at least that way you leave yourself open to the option of doing a sequel based around Narcissa and Charlie's kids and Harry and Susans kids. Thats just a thought. DO keep up the awesome work and update soon please:):):):)

JBern replied:

Well, I don't really plan on their being a sequel.  I do plan on it being open ended enough that readers may want a sequel, but I doubt I'll write one.~Jim

Yonexcannon posted a comment on Wednesday 11th April 2007 4:31am for According to the Plan

The only promise that I can think of that LV made to Harry during Harry's first year at Hogwarts is that he would bring Harry's parents back to life. I will be very interested to see how this little scheme plays out.

I also find myself somewhat dubious that Albus would put the real bodies where they could be stolen by anyone. If he was suspicious and paranoid enough to ward the graveyard out the wazoo, then he had to have suspected someone would come after the bodies, and if he suspected someone would come after the bodies then why not plant fake bodies there and place the fake bodies somewhere much more secret. I am also somewhat intrigued by the "preservation spells" on the bodies. What would the point of preservation spells be? I know that I am probably wrong, but I could craft quite the argument that those a fake bodies (conjured perhaps?) and that what gives the appearance of "preservation spells" is actually just a fake body refusing a decompose.

Anyway, enough speculation. Great chapter. I look forward to reading more of any of your stories very soon.

JBern replied:

Albus suspected that someone would come after the sorceror's stone in book one.  He didn't protect it very well either.  In this case, he suspected someone might try and defile James and Lily's gravesite.  He trapped it fairly well, but didn't count on LV himself doing the grave robbing.  Had he not been there, most if not all of his folks would have died.

As to the preservation spells on the bodies, visit the discussion forum on this site and it might help.~Jim

 

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Wednesday 11th April 2007 4:27am for According to the Plan

Soooo... Harry's big response was... a press release.

I know we've all been telling you how cool it is see bad guys with brains, and plans, and clues--and it is.

But in the last five chapters they're the only ones with those things--at least 'on screen'. The last, great hope is spending his time in Potions class (and doing badly), and getting setup (again).

Unless we're supposed to be cheering for LV now, this is getting almost depressing.

JBern replied:

I found I still had to reposition the pieces in the story to keep it headed in the direction I intended to it.

Harry's stuck in a bit of a quandry right now.  The minister won't pluck him out of school for an uber cool secret raid.  He doesn't need that kind of press right now.  Remember this only covered the rest of the day from reading the Voldy article.  Not a lot of time to go launch a raid against a DE stronghold or what not especially when he had class and later detentions.

Harry intended to rip into Rita for what she was doing, but Rita was clearly prepared for what they had to offer.  Their little ambush didn't go according to plan, hence the chapter title.

Realistically, what else can Harry do at the moment?  All the students have been medically screened and none are wearing the Dark Mark.  Sure, there are supporters out there and many (including Neville) have a good idea who they are.

Jim

 

uthamm posted a comment on Wednesday 11th April 2007 1:37am for According to the Plan

Wow. Necro James & Lilly, Kidnapped Frank & Alice and Codeus working for LV! Where do you come up with this stuff?!?

JBern replied:

I lead a very dull life and have an active imagination - go figure.  :)

Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Tuesday 10th April 2007 11:31pm for According to the Plan

Great section, and nice to see you brought up the idea of the blackmail, that was poorly thought out in the canon. I also liked the way you had Lochart face his final moments, in his own hazy way, he was a sort of hero, kind of like a more delusional idiot than some manga characters I could name. Interestig to see what happend at the hospital, as well as I assume was the death of Luna, if she fell 60 meters, unless she landed somwhere safe, I don't know how she'd survive. Going to be interesting to see how things go with the bodies of James and Lilly, and what this will do to Harry if Voldemort uses them for his nefarious schemes( that's just a cool word, Nefarious, isn't it?) LOL.

JBern replied:

Well Gildy was a junior member of the Dark Arts Defense League...  Hey, whatever happened to them????  I do recall one fan fic that actually used them.

Yeah I put Luna out of her misery, but the good news is she's about to make a return in Bungle...

Yes, there will be nefarious schemes, by many people in fact.~Jim

DrT posted a comment on Tuesday 10th April 2007 10:54pm for According to the Plan

If there's one thing I don't mind seeing Hermione ripped on, it's her silly treatment of Rita. Glad you gave Gilderoy a grand exit, a different touch, to be sure.

One hopes Dumbledore didn't leave the actual bodies there. . . . but we'll see.

"T"

JBern replied:

Yeah, that's one of the things that have been bugging me about canon.  Hermione gets away with everything.  I was discussing a bunny with Kinsfire where Hermione returns home to find Rita and the aurors there.  She's arrested for kidnapping, wrongful imprisonment, blackmail and coercion of a magical oath.

"But Rita's an illegal animagus"

"Punishable by a 500 galleon fine and six months of probabtion.  On the other hand Ms. Granger, your crimes are punishable by potentially 10 years in Azkaban.  Come with us please."

There are so many of those trumped up Harry goes to Azkaban stories.  Why not a Hermione goes to Azkaban for sometheing she did?

Jim

Quizer posted a comment on Tuesday 10th April 2007 10:51pm for According to the Plan

Hmpf. I'd much rather have Hermione get away with everything than Rita. She deserves to be crushed like the bug she is. I understand that her death will release all the dirt she has gathered on numerous people, but why should that make Harry or Hermione afraid of her? They don't have much to hide compared to other people.

I still prefer 'Bungle in the Jungle' and 'The Lie I've Lived' over this story. It's just not going somewhere that I think is worthwhile. Some people say 'it's the journey that is important, not the destination', but I think that in a good story, both should be satisfactory. You provide an entertaining journey, but I'm not sure the end result will be something pleasant.

Good luck, and I'm looking forward to your next updates!


Quizer

JBern replied:

It didn't make Harry afraid of her.  Hermione on the other hand, might not like the knowledge that she was trying to blackmail someone to become public.  All in all, it's not Harry or Hermione who would punish Rita, it would be Rufus.  Who knows what dirt she has on his supporters?

Glad you like the story still even if you prefer the other two.~Jim