Abraxan posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd August 2010 2:42pm for All the King's Horses

Ooooooo, that was the juiciest (in many ways!) death scene for Snape EVER! And poor Harry - he really lost it! Good thing it was Bill who got to him first instead of some of the others! I hope Emmy will be okay - she would make a better partner for Bill than Fleur. Fleur's scenes were amazing too. Well done!

Abraxan

fyrecat posted a comment on Sunday 21st December 2008 5:53pm for All the King's Horses

You truly have a gift for fight scenes!

JBern replied:

Thanks.

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Friday 28th December 2007 8:06pm for All the King's Horses

Your inclusion of the paintings into the fray were inspired. I loved how the Harry/Snape showdown was more of a battle, rather than the kind of formal duel it's always made out to be. Harry going a wee bit insane at the end makes me worry a bit, though...

JBern replied:

I wanted that Harry/Snape fight to be a back alley brawl.   Not some "foolish wand waving."

Jim

KingsleyforPM posted a comment on Sunday 5th August 2007 4:22pm for All the King's Horses

woooooo 1,000 points for gryffindor

JBern replied:

Yeah, Harry kinda snapped there - just a little...

Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 9:41am for All the King's Horses

Forgot to mention before: Dobby would definitely want to go that way but how cruel was his death! No body to mourn. Er, slight problem there: you had Susan throwing up at the smell of Kreacher's corpse in Grimmauld Place. Why didn't he fade away?

Excellent Snape death scene. Fantastic chapter.

JBern replied:

I'll reply to this one first since you ask the question about Dobby and Kreacher.   Kreacher wanted to be found and his head mounted on the wall.   He was a disturbed little elf.   Dobby didn't.   Hope that clarifies things.   Thanks for all the reviews.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Monday 5th March 2007 6:18am for All the King's Horses

One of the more satisfying Snape-Gets-His that I've ever read.

Very sad but realistic about Diggle, Podmore, Fleur, and Jones.

I'm liking your Bill more and more, but then you do Bill very well everywhere you go.

Cheers!

JBern replied:

I have to credit Kokopelli for making the Snape scene even better than I had originally planned it.   So many authors do some kind of elegant ass-whipping that might work well for other stories, but in this one nothing short of the wizarding equivalent of a back alley knife brawl would suffice.

I hope that you were able to picture the fight in your mind as it happened.~Jim

Nial posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 11:04am for All the King's Horses

Brilliant fight scene. And when Harry has his Pain and Anguish over the killing of Snape, he should remember that mistreatment of a corpse may be pretty nasty, but it's not an atrocity. Atrocities are committed on living people.

Oh, by the way, wrt the house numbering: JKR agrees with you, in fact. See start of chapter 4 of OotP: "...a battered door emerged out of nowhere between house eleven and thirteen..." So there. As it happens, I live in a "Place" in the UK, and they're often like mine: a square of houses, not a street, with a garden (or a patch of grass) in the middle and the houses numbered sequentially all the way round. I think this is what JKR had in mind.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the clarification on the house numbering.   WRT Harry, he knows he crossed a line he shouldn't have.   He'll get better, but not instantly.   (If you noticed Tonks still not quite right either after her ordeal 14 chapters ago.   That's the kind of realism I am shooting for.)

Thanks again~Jim

koppe posted a comment on Friday 5th January 2007 12:50pm for All the King's Horses

Great story so far, please update soon.
You sure put the characters through a lot of pain -- not to mention keep killing them off (I though it was particularly sad with Fleur) -- still it's very good and action filled story.
I hope well see Harry and Susan eventually marry -- and preferbly follow them to the birth of their first child (I assume that will happen before they leave school).
I of course also hope Harry will eventually beat Voldemort.
Great way to off Snape... I usually like him somewhat, but in this story he had just gone too bad.
Finally, I hope you'll run with the Harry-with-a-Harem idea for another story.
Keep up the great work.

JBern replied:

Nah, I don't do Harry and Harem stuff.   He has enough trouble with one.   Chapter 28 is now up so you'll see more of his and Susan's relationship in that one.   As for the pain, well - war is hell.   I've joked with some reviewers where in those redo fics Harry is always traumatized by the war he came back to prevent, well here you have that god awful war playing out for you without the hope of going back and fixing it.~Jim

firestorm69 posted a comment on Sunday 31st December 2006 3:50pm for All the King's Horses

wow, great chapter, and the fight scene as well as Snape's death scene are impressive. One question, Are you making Harry into a Lunatic or is his actions a compilation of Fear, Stress, pain, anger and his feeling a need to survive? just a question, look forward to the next update and hope it comes soon. Oh and sorry I just can't seem to get into the reading of other story, I like the idea but the seeming flow and way it seems to be coming directly from Harry in some way's confuses me. But TFtCD is so far well done.

JBern replied:

Wow!   I'm a bit behind on my replies.   As you can see chapter 28 is now up and it should answer most of your questions.   Maybe some other time you'll be able to get into Bungle.

Thanks again,~Jim

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Tuesday 19th December 2006 2:05pm for All the King's Horses

Well, that was definitely a good "death of Snape" scene, but I suspect the after effects are going to take a goodly while, that the Light may not have, to cope with. Once he regains balance and at least a semblance of sanity, Harry is going to most definitely be feeling rather horrid and I don't envy Susan the task of helping him come to terms with all of it.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Even in victory, there is still some loss and yes Susan has her work cut out for her.   Look for her and Bill to feature prominently in the next chapter.~Jim

Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 18th December 2006 5:37am for All the King's Horses

Best. Snape. Death. Scene. EVER!

And 12 Grimmauld Pl. would be between 10 and 14, not 11 and 13.

I must say, I can really picture Bill stumbling through the house at the end. Something out of a horror movie: door torn down, smoke everywhere, everything falling apart... his girlfriend naked and beheaded in the living room, a charred corpse off to one side and one of his friends impaled by an icicle in the corner, a kid covered in blood and with a bone or two visible screaming imprecations at his old Potions professor while lashing what's left of said professor with a whip of fire... Am I the only one who sees this coming in the next Saw movie?

JBern replied:

Good point on the placement of #12.   I'll fix that when I do housekeeping on the story.   I actually had that Bill scene written, but it dragged on too long and started to 'weigh' the chapter down.   You will see some of it next chapter from Bill's perspective.~Jim

cyberpurple posted a comment on Sunday 17th December 2006 10:36am for All the King's Horses

This was a really great chapter, thanks for the update! Looking forward to seeing what comes next as I've been really enjoying your work so far. The quality of this shines through in every post and just gets better and better. I am very impressed!

JBern replied:

Why thank you.   I appreciate the comments on quality.   I owe alot of thanks to the people I thanked in my author's notes.   They have really been helping me make the story the best product I can put forth.~Jim

Donald McLeod posted a comment on Saturday 16th December 2006 11:42am for All the King's Horses

It's good. But sometimes I jest hate cilfies, love Snape death scene, it was maybe a little short on groe and maham (Snape's that is).

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I don't really see it as much of a cliffhanger with the exception of Harry's mental state.~Jim

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Saturday 16th December 2006 1:34am for All the King's Horses

Absolutely superb chapter! Really liked how Harry's gone a bit cuckoo its quite realistic considering the last few days he has had. Especially so when you take into account that Snape is a focal point of abuse for him really.

I was very much interested in how Susan was talking about Harry's training with Flitwick and how the diminutive little proffessor was only just managing to beat Harry.

At first I was kind of disappointed how close the battle with Snape came, I was hoping it would be a more one sided contest of Harry kicking his greasy arse. After giving it some thought though he had just fought a powerful and drugged up SuperVeela as well as two adult witches. You forget the Veela because you split the attack over two chapters which changed my perceptions a bit. Thinking about it though, wow! He still managed to take Snape out after all that. I liked the use of the portraits especially the fact that Harry felt the drain on his magic from then and could still hold his own against Snape. Makes you think what would have happened with a battle on neutral ground with a rested Harry. I re-read bits and figured that Harry bloodied Snape pretty good before the final bit in his study.

Can't wait for more, this story is superb, thanks for writing!

Monkey

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   There was a reason that Severus earned his place amongst the Pureblooded inner circle.   He had talent, guile and skill.   The other DEs had to know of his 1/2 blooded status, but still gave him a wide enough berth.    Though this is AU to book 6, in that one at the beginning, even in that one big bad Bellatrix didn't seem eager to clash with Snape.   What did they say Snape arrived at the school knowing more curses than most 7th years?   Makes you wonder how the ickle Marauders got the best of him?

Snape was getting the better of Harry.   He had every advantage, numbers, surprise a 'softened' opponent.   Harry spent most of his time on direct damage spells.   Snape mixed in spells to blind Harry as well as the whole bursting through the floor thing.

Harry versus Flitwick, is a controlled duel still and in 6 months Harry will be on par with him.   Harry versus Snape was a back alley brawl fought in 3 dimensions.

Jim

 

Fishburne posted a comment on Friday 15th December 2006 5:42pm for All the King's Horses

stands up, cheers, and feels ill.

Good riddance to bad grease.

Bravo

JBern replied:

Oh grease isn't bad.   Most times it can be recycled into something useful.~Jim

david abbey1 posted a comment on Friday 15th December 2006 10:45am for All the King's Horses

to quote Mr. Burns, "excellent!" quality death scenes are hard to come by, this ones awesome!

JBern replied:

Glad you enjoyed it.   A lot of the credit goes to the people I thanked in the acknowledgements for helping to make that scene everything it was.~Jim

DrT posted a comment on Thursday 14th December 2006 10:23pm for All the King's Horses

Oh dear, Harry isn't in good shape, mentally or physically. An excellent chapter, and good use of Justin.

"T"

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliment on using Justin.   I wanted an outside  perspective of the Wizarding world that didn't involve Hermione.   Hope you enjoyed the battle.~Jim

Wolf550e posted a comment on Thursday 14th December 2006 8:31pm for All the King's Horses

Very good! Harry snapping was believable, though Snape was a bit cliche.

JBern replied:

Don't really follow you on the Snape thing.   He paused to torture Harry only when he thought Harry was unarmed and defenseless.   Until then, Snape was fighting no holds barred to beat him.~Jim

CRose posted a comment on Thursday 14th December 2006 4:38pm for All the King's Horses

I had problems getting into beginning of this chapter, but I certainly enjoyed the end. Snape finally meeds his much needed end. Harry's been wanting to do that for a long time now. Heh

JBern replied:

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter despite the slow beginning.  ~Jim

PhishBulb posted a comment on Thursday 14th December 2006 3:26pm for All the King's Horses

That was quite the chapter. I'm sure I'll have second and third thoughts as I reread this (which is sure to happen at some point).

From some of your comments, it seems as if you were going for THE harry vs. snape scene. If that's the case, in all honestly, I'm not sure you quite reached it. Having not read the first few chapters in a while I might be off on this, but didn't Harry already prove himself against Snape, deatheaters, and Voldemort in the first couple of chapters? For Snape to have such an impressive showing now after all of the training Harry has been through and with the help of the portraits seemed wrong.

Admittedly, Harry had just been through a hell of a lot with Fleur. Not to mention having to fight the other deatheaters present. Still, Snape just seemed a bit too in control. Unless I read this wrong, the only reason Harry was able to kill him in the end is that Snape needed to gloat and cast and maintain the Cruciatus. While that might be perfectly in line with Snivellus’ personality, it just seemed wrong for Harry to win this on a fluke. If Snape had taken this seriously, I doubt Harry would have made it, and I don't think that is in line with the characterization of Harry that you've written so far.

That said, it really was a kick ass scene. While it may not be the most satisfying Snape beat-down I’ve ever read, it really doesn’t have to be to fit in with your story. It was a gritty, no holds barred brawl that seems more in line with the type of story you are trying to write. There was a hell of a lot written here that I’ve never seen before and regardless of my thoughts about Snape, this was another quality chapter to one of the very best stories being written right now.

As for the next chapter — I wouldn’t be surprised if Bill initially thinks that Harry is the cause of all of this. Several members of the order are dead, some in gruesome ways, Vance is incapacitated, Fleur is lying dead — naked- on the floor, and Harry is seemingly burning someone to death. With what Bill knows about what Harry was willing to do to Ginny — I couldn’t exactly blame Bill for placing the blame of all of this on Harry and acting accordingly. Could be interesting to see.

Anyway, quality chapter — great story. Thanks for writing.

JBern replied:

Well that's what I was shooting for, but if it fell short, I can smile knowing it was the best scene I was capable of writing at this stage of my brief fanfic career.   In the first few chapters, Harry got lucky.   Voldy was weakend by his fight with Amelia Bones and the fact he hadn't performed the ritual with Percy to fully regain his powers.   Snape was physically manhandling Susan in that chapter and fell to a stunner from Harry.

Power doesn't always win a fight.   Cunning can prevail.   Harry's been training with Flitwick for a few weeks now.   He's learned some tricks.   It was as different as a boxing match from a back alley knife fight.   Snape is/was a dangerous opponent.   In chapter 2, he was on a raid.   Take down some wards, kill some folks and kidnap a girl.   This time he was there to kill someone he personally hated.   Snape pulled out all the stops.

We'll see what happens in the next chapter.~Jim

ps Thanks for a massive review.