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LordLexx posted a comment on Wednesday 25th December 2019 7:06am for End of the Line

I really can't see Hermione going along with this. Like at all. Her constant harp about the wizarding world is its archiac practices. And even then I can't see her NOT telling Harry about it. You said you wanted realisic, Hermione being very vocal about Harry being forced to marry against his will sounds pretty fucking realistic to me. What doesn't sound realistic is Hermione and Ron being a couple, or at least a very good one. Their relationship, realistically, would be a domestic violence case waiting to happen.

Kairan1979 posted a comment on Thursday 21st May 2015 2:36pm for End of the Line

I liked your version of Narcissa.

It's really sad when Harry learns that his supposed friends are once again conspiring behind his back and making decisions for him 'for your own good, of course'. Shouldn't they learn anything after OotP how much he hates it?

I don't think he is going to forgive Remus for siding with Dumbledore.

Abraxan posted a comment on Monday 2nd August 2010 7:01am for End of the Line

If there was an "end of the line" rule as you said, then Sirius should've been married and had an heir too, right? Or do you count Draco Malfoy as a Black? Yes, he has Black blood, but he doesn't carry the name. If you count Draco as a Black, then the Black "end of the line" rule shouldn't count with Harry, who won't pass along the Black name, right? Or will all his kids be named 'Black-Potter'?? Color me confused. Interesting chapter.


Aurilia posted a comment on Thursday 23rd July 2009 5:41am for End of the Line


Pure, unadulterated glee.

I've read quite a few fics wherein Narcissa is redeemed through Harry becoming the head of the Black line, but you did it with style (and her letching on Charlie is just icing on the cake).

If you were here in person, I'd probably break one of your ribs from my hug of fangirl squee at this. Really.

Ph34r_n0_3V1L posted a comment on Saturday 6th June 2009 11:17am for End of the Line

One minor point for added realism: Galleon amounts. The Weasley's, who, while poor, somehow manage to send 5 children to Hogwarts at the same time, have trouble buying Ron a new wand for Hogwarts. The only wand we see sold in canon is Harry's which is 7 galleons. In this light, having the Black vault hold millions of galleons seems slightly absurd. A more realistic amount would be a million galleons total with extensive property and business holdings, which is where most moneyed families store their wealth.

fyrecat posted a comment on Thursday 18th December 2008 9:22am for End of the Line

Again, I must say sow much I am truly enjoying this reality-based version of the Potterverse!
Thanks so much!

JBern replied:


M. R. Moore posted a comment on Wednesday 12th November 2008 1:52pm for End of the Line


I've been looking for a story I started sometime ago and never finished but I rememebered Narcissa dragging Charlie off as a bodygaurd and thought it was one of the funniest things that I'd ever come across... And I finally found it!

On to the next chapter... and maybe I'll finish the story this time.

JBern replied:

Glad you found it.~Jim

Andrius posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2008 10:20am for End of the Line

Interesting Narcissa!

JBern replied:

She was a great character in this story.

GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Thursday 11th September 2008 4:57am for End of the Line

Actually there is more than Riddle's diary and the DoM incident. Not much but there is more to go on. In fact in the way you have he lash out and attack Harry, you end up following the sterotype you mention as a peeve.
I do agree with you to an extent about Gringotts' vaults. If you base your premise on the muggle world than gold and jewelry (along with stocks, bonds, mutual funds, various types of important documents, etc.) would be about all. But that premise may be too narrow for the magical world. Why should a vault in the wizarding world be limited to what muggle banks are limited to? If I can put a whole room in a trunk why wouldn't I put a whole garage in my vault and store my antique car collection there (just an example). So why not an antique armory or a library of rare, expensive books -- just not the Potters (unless one has a credible reason why James and Lily didn't take advantage of it, perhaps the Potter will was in probate and James couldn't get things out).
Narcissa's escape is very creative and good. I like it (not much more to say about reading).
Sirius' portrait is interesting, but I wonder about it. Portraits certainly do talk (even interact with the real world as when Mrs. Black recognizes a mudblood -- or does she as she goes off about mudbloods with halfbloods as well, so maybe she's just got a standard rant for any stranger) in canon, and seem to bear a distinctive personality, but while they might store some measure of knowledge, could they really make changes (e.g. amendments and updates to the will) -- after all the person is dead. Verdict: creative but gimmicky.

JBern replied:

Interesting criticisms.   Thanks for sharing.~Jim

vanishingact posted a comment on Tuesday 5th February 2008 9:03am for End of the Line

Wow! I loved Narcissa Malfoy--err, Black. That was genius! Hehe...

I know there's plenty left to go on this story, but I figured I'd drop a review in anyways after how much amusement I got from Narcissa. Thanks for a great read!

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.   She and Charlie show up in the last third of the story to provide even more amusement.   Thanks for being my 800th review for this story on ffa.~Jim

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Sunday 23rd December 2007 5:54pm for End of the Line

Damn, dude. This is the first fic I've read that actually made me have a black moment. To be more specific, a "OH NO SHE DI'INT" when Ginny said that about him getting Sirius killed.

Also, Narcissa/Charlie interaction at the end was hilarious. XD

JBern replied:

In a sense, I should have broken all the Narcissa/Charlie interaction (and there's plenty to come) off into a separate story.~Jim

IceBlades posted a comment on Saturday 14th July 2007 8:45am for End of the Line

That was awesome. I'm reading through now and would normaly reserve a review for the latest chapter....BUT THAT WAS PERFECT. Talk about a hit and run on Cissy's behalf!

JBern replied:

Thank you.   Glad you enjoyed Cissy's character.   I think you'll be impressed by her when she makes a return appearance later in the story.~Jim

tryptophan36 posted a comment on Monday 2nd July 2007 1:02pm for End of the Line

Oh wow...I love your Narcissa! I could just see Draco practicing in front of a mirror lol! Yea, I'm not a big fan of strong!Ginny either. so far I've agreed with all of your pet peeves. It's nice to see something different.
Also, poor Charlie!

JBern replied:

Narcissa and Charlie take a long vacation, but they do come back to the story eventually.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 1:29am for End of the Line

Reading this through again, I find myself far fonder of Narcissa than I ever thought I could be. Not completely convinced of your interpretation of Ginny - I think nearly being killed by the spirit of the greatest Dark Lord of the 20th century who was possessing your body at the time is considered hardship - but then if she was too likeable we could hardly have a Harry / Susan romance. Excellent story thus far.

JBern replied:

Agreed on the Ginny part, with romance only being a secondary focus of the story I wanted to make it easy by making Ginny not really that likeable.~Jim

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Sunday 25th March 2007 10:55pm for End of the Line

Narcissa Black was a hoot!

I say let her keep Charlie.

JBern replied:

Keep reading.   They'll turn up again eventually.~Jim

nezza posted a comment on Monday 19th February 2007 12:29pm for End of the Line

dude i dont know if you will respond to a review this late in the game for this chapter but i have to say b4 reading the next chapter i have come across in passing your peeve about saint lilly potter, and i do agree with it, however as time wears on ppl will tend to remember the good about a persons life and not the bad(well most of the time at least i hope unless your a snape like person in which case your f##ked for life).

JBern replied:

I make it a point to respond to every review.   Thank you for yours.   Now, I am rather proud of the picture I painted of Lily.   She was a determined witch willing to do ANYTHING to save her child.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 7:45am for End of the Line

Good the see the real Ginny Weasley come out to play. Nice move Narcissa! That was an entertaining chapter. The end-of-line clauses will perhaps cause some trouble in the future. To bad about that whole Ron-Hermione, divorce-looking-for-a-place-to-happen thing.

JBern replied:

Ron and Hermione have their place in the story as does Ginny.   You'll be happy to note that Narcissa and Charlie resurface for a cameo in chapter 29 just posted.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 4:04am for End of the Line

Your Sirius portrait might be the best I've ever read.

This will reading was definitely the best 'circus' I attended in a while.

I love your Narcissa. Spunky women are choice and few are rarely seen in the generation right above Harry except for Tonks, and she's really only a half a generation ahead of Harry.

On to the second circus act!

JBern replied:

For some one who made such a brief appearance in the story, Narcissa left a massive impact.   I have resisted calls to bring her back, though I might be forced into either doing a Charlie/Narcissa one shot or at least an update in one of the chapters where I am looking for interesting filler material.~Jim

jackattack posted a comment on Sunday 12th November 2006 1:04pm for End of the Line

Love the story, very good plot, great twists on overused contrivances. But allow me a pet peeve -- "canon".

Keep writing!

JBern replied:

I'll get out my cannon and blast the second 'n' away.  :)

Seriously, I'll fix it soon.   Kokopelli was nice enough to rebeta my chapters.   So the newer ones will be less full of mistakes.~Jim

anonymous5 posted a comment on Friday 10th November 2006 2:04pm for End of the Line

This is LOVELY. Your twists are unforseeable and perfectly valid, especially those concerned with Narcissa... and I've never seen the title to a story so seamlessly worked into the text. No misplaced commas that I could find, either! ;) Thanks so much for sharing -- this chapter was a joy to read.

JBern replied:

Thanks again.   My other chapters will be up soon.   Glad you like the twists.   The additional betaing has really helped.~Jim