MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Monday 2nd July 2007 8:34am for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

will ginny live it does not look good for her, and I think pansy has got her revenge on nevile. I hope he gets cought!

MPF

JBern replied:

Lower abdomen wounds are never a good thing.~Jim

Crys posted a comment on Monday 2nd July 2007 6:15am for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

> From what he had read, they could use Frank Longbottom’s body for the ritual, but Neville was a much finer choice. Why settle for the body of a forty-ish man who hadn’t been active in fifteen years when he could have the body of a sixteen year old just coming into adulthood?

Well . . . That certainly answers many questions. None of them good for Nev. Not that he's even really sane anymore.

Ug, that conversation between the (probably) living but paralyzed Ginny and AD and/or Harry will be very, very ugly. Wonder if Coedus's plan will be implemented.

Pansy, though I hate you for what you are, that was precisely what I expected from you. Right down to taunting Neville about it. Not like he can really punish you more than he already is.

Only five chapters to go? Lots of threads still around, man.

JBern replied:

The threads will start dying off (or is it the people behind the threads that will be dying off?) shortly.   Glad you are still around enjoying it especially the characterization of Pansy in this chapter.~Jim

uthamm posted a comment on Monday 2nd July 2007 3:11am for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Well, I guess the hero 'got' the girl. Wow. Bumbling Neville starts to believe his own Hubris and will now pay the price. The train death was well done - efficient, discreet and believeable as an 'accident'. Things have gone downhill from there. Makes me wonder what Codeus' original intent was - did he make Neville flawed? Is Harry going to pay the price here? He did have the necklace last and he did save and integrate Codeus . . . VM finding out about the animagus form and VENGEFUL construct Lilly don't bode well . . . will Susan get to take out Lilly in a sweet ironic twist? The only woman who loves him kills the woman who he wanted to love him . .

Narcissa mirrors my own thoughts - 'I’m not entirely certain which side is winning'. I also like the portrayal of Tonks kicking them out - I mean, she is a cop for heavens sake! Basic crowd control and assertiveness should be old hat. I can't wrap my head around the bumbling, clumsy image so many authors portray.

Glad you didn't take out Hermione - I like her character and I still think the scene with Harry talking her down from drinking is one of the best in the fandom. I still laugh over 'two beaters and a chocolate eclair . . '

Nice work. Made my day.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   I won't comment on your speculation.   You'll just have to wait and see where this heads.

I'll have to write out the two beaters and a chocolate eclair analogy one day... ~Jim

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Monday 2nd July 2007 2:04am for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Nice to see Neville's world coming to a crash. Hope he can still wiggle out of it. 1- kill pansy and hide the necklace, 2- blame it on a lovers spat. Ginny caught them and Pansy killed her. He then killed Pansy in a rage/self defense.

Love the vampire's plan. Nicely cold.
"Four more hours to be wasted teaching the useless blood bags."
-made me laugh

Looks like Harry will need the dementors' help to get rid of mom some how. I like zombie!Lily - haven't come across it quite like this.

JBern replied:

We've seen Neville able to carefully craft a plan.   Let's see if he can think on his feet when everything is going to hell in a extra-large handbasket.

Next update in 2 weeks.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Monday 2nd July 2007 12:52am for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

This is your darkest story by far. It almost hurts, what you put yout characters through.

Gritty, gruesome, and well done.

JBern replied:

Well I am shooting for gritty realism here, so that's the goal.   Thank you.   Thank you very much - uh huh.   Sorry, had to do the Elvis reference - and you know why!~Jim

DrT posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 11:29pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Ooo, nasty works galore in this chapter! I think the Longbottoms are both in trouble, especially if Harry figures things out before Dumbledore or the aurors.

"T"

JBern replied:

I have to say I agree with you.   Neville and Coedus' plans are starting to collapse.   Look for the body count to move even higher next chapter.~Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 11:29pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Oh boy, now things have went even more south. Interesting that Pansy got a bit of revenge against Neville with this, and Neville got a bit of what he deserved, though it was terrible that Ginny got caught up in it, and that she thinks Harry was involved as well. Coedus looks to be getting ready as well, but I hope he gets what's coming to him, and the Narcissa/Charles reunion was done wondewrfully, it's always nice to see a stroy where she is able to show that she's more than a bit human, and with her having a baby, here's hopiong that she'll make it to the end. Felt bad for what Harry had to do, but either Tom is going to push oit to the point that he breaks him, or Harry will come roaring back with a vengance.

JBern replied:

Yep, there's a storm brewing at that castle.   Bad things a coming next chapter - body count expected to go higher....

Jim

traveller posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 10:57pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

An interesting Neville, that's for sure.

I don't think I've actually ever seen him quite like this. The closest I can vaguely remember is him trying to join the deatheaters, so as to get an opportunity at revenge for his parents.

He's becoming quite the little psychopath, and I wouldn't be surprised if very soon he has himself convinced that this (the situation with Ginny) is all for the best, or that she deserved it for spying on him, or, best yet, that in the grand scheme of things, it's for the greater good since it breaks his pattern.

I'm greatly enjoying the Potter parents storyline. I've always wondered why they aren't turned into inferi by Voldemort, but you've taken it one step further.
I wonder if that makes it easier or harder to fight them, psychologically speaking. Because of their persona's (now persona), it might just be easier to distinguish them from the originals than if there was only the face to focus on.

Traveller

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   I've enjoyed taking Neville for a spin in this story.   Alas, his time is running short.   We've seen that he can create a plan given enough time, but can he think on his feet...

Next update in 2 weeks.~Jim

Fishburne posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 10:56pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

BOOYA!

Go Neville! err...um. yeah. Go pansy?

what the hell, its still a great story. Now if only Neville would just off the uppity slytherin, we'd be all good.

Fish

JBern replied:

Glad you enjoyed it.   Bad times are coming next chapter - look for a higher body count.~Jim

fraupapst posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 8:23pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Wow, amazing chapter. You continue to frighten me, in a good way.

I'm feeling sorry for poor Ginny, although she's really being stupid in this story. But then, who'd really suspect Neville.

I just hope that Coedus will be one of those who won't get away with what he's planning.

JBern replied:

Glad you like a dark story like this one.   I've been pretty hard on little Ginny in my stories, but I'm sure that she'll end up with Harry in the 'real' books so all the phoenixsong folks will be happy.~Jim

Mesterio posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 8:18pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Geezus man, talk about twisted.

JBern replied:

But the twists are so much fun aren't they?~Jim

dc1 posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 7:26pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

love your work. no matter how much i read, it seems like its never enough.

i have to say one of my favourite parts is the charlie, narcissa interaction. you really have the sexy older woman down. its always nice to see molly get put in her place.

keep up the good work mate

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments on Narcissa.   Next update in 2 weeks.~Jim

joeBob posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 7:15pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Interesting and painful to read.
Could you please add in more double and triple crosses?

Maybe MoldiShorts wins in the end?

JBern replied:

I don't know if I can work in that many more double and triple crosses in the remaining chpaters - but for you, I'll give it a try!   Interesting and painful to read is probably one of the nicest compliments someone has made.   Thank you.

Jim

Infin1x posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 6:54pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

I loved the feel to Bungle and I look forward to the quirkiness of The Lie but for some reason the last handful of chapters of this have made me feel dirty. I read dark fics pretty often and have never had a problem but with the revenant Potters and the twisted Neville just feels wrong and perverted. I'm still reading because I really like your writing and am hoping for a happier conclusion.

JBern replied:

Well I was shooting for dark, gritty and realistic.   The fact that the story makes you cringe in places means I'm doing my job.

I guarantee a conclusion.   I guarantee that someone will be happy about it.   I can't guarantee it will be you...

Thanks for the review~Jim

Sean Dillon posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 4:51pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Damn! Not little Ginny. Now how is Neville going to explain this one away? I look forward to seeing what creative truth stretching he'll be able to come up with.

JBern replied:

Indeed.   How is Neville going to explain this one?   Next update in 2 weeks.~Jim

Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 4:14pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Hmm, earlier Neville fantasied about putting that control necklace on Hermoine. Power going to his head, or his other head? ;)

And it looks like everything's gone sideways at about MACH 2 with telling Pansy to 'stop her'. Ginny's back in the Infirmary, dang they should just set up a Weasley Wing at the rate they are going. Will Harry get in hot water till someone figures out if Nev was lying about what he did in the broom closet to Pansy, he was also lying about Harry being in on it?

JBern replied:

Absolute power does corrupt, doesn't it?   Stay tuned for the wild ride coming next chapter.~Jim

jzysman posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 4:08pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

Loved it! Though admittedly I am still waiting on pins and needles for the continuation of Bungle, this was a great chapter. Thank you!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'm trying to wrap this one up so my sequel to Bungle can have the attention it deserves.   Next update in 2 weeks.~Jim

LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 2:54pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

I think the authors notes to this chapter are the first ( or only? ) big mistake of this story. You assume that we expect ANYONE to be alive at the end of this story.

I wouldn't be surprised if a surprising number of people survive to the final chapter, only to be killed in the finale or epilogue.

Here's my bet: Harry's magic goes wild and protects Great Britain from a nuclear attack by Voldemort. Gravity within the solar system is briefly altered by the small black hole Harry's accidental magic creates to destroy the nukes (which of course kills everyone (including Tom) on the planet outside of G.B.), and what few parts of the world that weren't vaporised by nukes are drowned in cosmic radiation). Months later, just as Harry and crew set out on a mad orgy to repopulate the ravaged world, a comet the size of Asia, gone rogue due to the gravitational shift, strikes Surrey and carves a chunk out of the earth the size of the moon. Harry and Susan are the only survivors, an emergency portkey (slipped under his skin by a Dumbledore-imperio'd Poppy) having activated and transporting them to the least irradiated above-water location on Earth: the former magical city of Chernobyl. The city is actually safe so long as you don't step off the pavement, and wildlife is plentiful. One day while Harry is off hunting for dinner, Susan wanders around for supplies and enters the home of a dark wizard who had long ago died of radiation poisoning and set off a fatal trap. In Harry's grief he releases a shockwave that kills all the wildlife and poisons the water. He starves to death soon after. In the last paragraph, a purple mist wafts from a forgotten horcrux and forms into the face of Voldemort, who, like Burgess Meridith in Time Enough At Last, takes time to gloat and fully enjoy the attaining of his ultimate dream only to discover just how empty the victory truly is. The End.

Honestly, I wouldn't put it past you to have Ginny survive this chapter, if only so she can pin everything on Harry.

I adore the tone of your stories, but I have to admit that the "kill everyone" motif here is getting old. I've enjoyed reading this, but I'm glad we're in the home stretch, and it not often I -ever- want a story I enjoy to end.

JBern replied:

I'll actually be glad when this one raps up as well.   For a short chapter, it took a long time to write and make it the best I could.   Thank you for the long review.   That's an interesting idea for the end, but I don't think it jives with the one I have in mind.

Next update in 2 weeks~Jim

R. Daniels posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 2:14pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

You plan to wrap this up in just 5 chapters?! Color me impressed. Incidently, I've loved the way Harry's aid of the Longbottoms has back fired on him. I also like how everybody's plotting is secretive enough that it's almost like working in parallel - nobody Really knows what's Actually happening until something skips the tracks and/or blows up.

JBern replied:

Things that seem good at one point can often look bad down the road.   Hopefully, the wild train ride will continue right up to the violent conclusion.~Jim

Cuey posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 2:01pm for The Hero Always Gets the Girl

One question: Does this count as having two deaths or one? James dead body isn't actually alive, but neither is a gargoyle or a vampire. Oh well, it's still a good read.

JBern replied:

I'll wait until the next chapter to update the official body count thread as there is a question regarding the fate of Miss Weasley, but James counts as far as I know.~Jim