The Crow posted a comment on Sunday 29th June 2008 12:56am for I'm Even On My Knees

at least the one that manages to open "I suppose this is the part where I say congratulations. It has your eyes, sort of — . Do you feel any different?"
I think this can be argued any way, and it's probably just me but sometimes conversation feels slightly off and the bolded part seems like something you may narrate in an offhand way not exactly in a sentence.

Ah well, you have Dead Eye on the way so I'll shut up. Congrats again if I haven't mentioned it.

"I almost named him Albus Severus Potter."
Nice little jibe, thought you may have been trying to slot that one in.

I enjoyed it. Ralph sounds like some mutilated foetus by the sounds of things.
I'll bet him and Hermione will be inseperable by the end of all this.
I lol'd at the hideous abomination bit.

All isn't happy in Luna land. Hah! had an idea, maybe Harry may have to coax her out into the open eventually.
He blew it, he knows it. She was stubborn and overly jealous but it looks like Harry had better buy her a lot of chocolate frogs or something.
At least when it's over he may enjoy the cooling off Bill mentioned.

The Dementors, evil Yagga Bagga or whatever...
Sounds like more hardcore nasty sh*t is about to unfold for Harry.

Most of it was neccesary build-up but a fun read.

Yet to podcast Reality Bites - after replacing my old iPod mini lately with a classic have been really trying it all out. Podcasting has been great.
Yet to listen to the podcast myself, does it contain other stuff in there too? Other stories/poems etc and such?
Can I strip it to the Jim stuff?

Ah well, congrats for now. Can't wait to hear from you again in the way of a new chap.

Cheers.

JBern replied:

There's about 5 minutes of other stuff in front of Reality Bites.    Drabblecast is  a good site with stories under 2000 words performed by the versatile Norm Sherman.

Hope you continue to enjoy my works both ff and original.~Jim

warpwizard posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 3:46pm for I'm Even On My Knees

You realize you've got terrible luck with relationships. Good chapter. :)

JBern replied:

So very true.~Jim

rune1806 posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 2:08pm for I'm Even On My Knees

I do not know why you are keeping Luna in the story as she is not mature enough for Harry. Hermione is getting more interesting as she loses more of her naivete maybe she will become worth something. Hack is the best and the other Dumbles is a very good twist. Baba Yaba I will have to look up.

JBern replied:

Harry isn't sure why he is either.   We'll just have to see how this plays out.~Jim

Patches posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 1:34pm for I'm Even On My Knees

Oh dear. Harry is getting involved in things that are not necessarily good but I understand his reason. It is too bad that politics is such a sticky business. It brings out things that are tough to deal with. Miss Lopez is not helping Harry with his personal life but we have to remember Luna is younger and doesn't have a lot of experience dealing with people in the "real" world. I can understand why she feels threatened by Harry's experience but it did happen when they were not involved. I look forward to more of this story. I want to see how Hermione deals with "Ralph" and the elves. Thanks for writing. pms

JBern replied:

All excellent points.   I hope you continue to enjoy my writings.  

Regards,

Jim

vertru posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 12:32pm for I'm Even On My Knees

Another quality chapter as the plot thickens in your well thought out tale. A goodly number of chuckles and guffaws mixed in with the drama really spices things up. I can only imagine how hard it is to write in the second person like you are and keeping the tenses straight, so I feel you are still doing an excellent job with this.

One of the most enjoyable parts of this story is how you have built on what Harry and the others learned in the jungle in helping to deal with what they are running into now. Despite that we know you are writing this based on that, it does not feel contrived at all. In other words the story flows extremely well and moves along nicely. I look forward to the old hag with the chicken legged house. Should be fun.

Poetic justice is well served with Hermione being "tasked" with helping care for the hormunculus, and with the various reactions to it. Dumbledore getting so much shoved in his face truly helps the story come to life in this chapter. Forcing him to accept Harry's independence with the hormunculus was rather brilliant.

Great job with this all the way around. As always I look forward to more of all your stories.

vern

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   Next chapter of this one in 2 weeks.

Regards,

Jim

Ben10 posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 12:17pm for I'm Even On My Knees

Score! I don't know how you manage to continue writing such solid material . . . I'm jealous.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Keep working at your own writing.   That's the only way to get better.~Jim

romero posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 11:22am for I'm Even On My Knees

Thanks for the update. I enjoyed the way Dumbledore was out maneuvered by Harry. Hermione having to take care of "Ralph" and direct Dobby and Winky was great. Luna really isn't ready for a relationship and I'm glad that Harry has agreed to cutting loose. Aberforth was a added character who was creepy and made you think how it must have been being a brother to "for the greater good" Albus.

JBern replied:

I had fun writing Aberforth.   He should be decidedly creepy.~Jim

smog2187 posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 7:21am for I'm Even On My Knees

Great chapter as usual. Your take on troll culture is hysterical, particularly with the killing of doddering old men and nodding respectfully at the producers of foul smells.

I take it you didn't like the epilogue of DH? I rather liked the named Albus Severus but to each his own.

So how long til Harry gets some tail?

JBern replied:

There wasn't much I liked about book 7 in general.   I still haven't read the entire thing.

Troll culture is a nifty thing!

Since the title of the next chapter is what it is, I wouldn't expect it to be too long.~Jim

Illusia posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 6:15am for I'm Even On My Knees

Couldn't get drabblecast to work. Hmm, maybe tomorrow the site will work.
I'm not sure I like Luna anymore. Not that I'd like Harry to pick someone easy but that girl has so much baggage that she's getting unattractive.

JBern replied:

On the front page there's a spot where you can download the files as a mp3 file.   Try that if you haven't gotten it to work by now.

Luna is damaged goods.   So is Harry for that matter.

Miles Hance posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 5:45am for I'm Even On My Knees

What can be said? Stellar work, as always.

Trouble in Harry/Luna land indeed. I have to agree with what has been said. Luna needs to make up her mind about what she wants out of life and from Harry. Acting half-assed about things helps no one.

Moving on, Albus shows once again why he's a scheming bastard. And hermione needs to wake up and smell the bullshit. It's kind of a HP fanfic cliche that Dumbledore expected Harry to die facing Voldemort, but in a certain context, it makes sense.

Even in canon, Harry had to die by Voldemort's hand. Luckily, he had the Deathly Hallows, so his death wasn't permanent. But taht line of thinking makes sense and it insidious enough to be up Dumbledore's alley.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter.   In a sense this is cliche, but I am trying to raise the bar by which other manipulative Dumbledores shall be judged.   Instead of the man who cared to much, Dumbledore is a cold hearted bastard who wants to win at any cost.

Rexnos posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 4:23am for I'm Even On My Knees

And yet another chapter that demonstrates why you're so awesome. Hack was golden, Dumbledore was a bastard and Harry was his normal deviously mean self.

I'm somewhat disappointed by Luna and Harry's split. It was very realistic and it felt right, but break-ups suck. Still, this little speed bump will just make it better if and when they get back together. I did like the crack about Fleur wanting to do Harry through her. It was creative but still somewhat believable.

Anyway, another great chapter. As usual, I find myself eagerly awaiting the next already.

Later,
Rex

JBern replied:

Thanks.   2 more weeks for the next chapter.   The Harry/Luna thing will take a backseat to the Harry/Action thing for the near term.   I suspect that's how you'd like it anyway.

Jim

hordac85 posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 3:49am for I'm Even On My Knees

Excellent work as always.Keep it up.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Next chapter in 2 weeks.~Jim

Bedrup posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 3:26am for I'm Even On My Knees

Really smart chapter. Loved the line where Harry considered the name Albus Severus for the blood bag, but thought it needlessly cruel.
Hope you find a way of including de Soto.
Your Dumbledore both angers me and cracks me up.

JBern replied:

Glad to hear it.   I want you to remember this as THE MANIPULATIVE Dumbledore to end all others.

Hagrid posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 3:04am for I'm Even On My Knees

Tis a good thing I weren't chewin on the hair o' the dawg when I read that Albus Severus Potter tripe, I'da spewed for certain. Yer a deranged soul, I mean, who could'a come up with a name like that? Besides, I kinda like Ralph, gotta touch o' class ter it. Yeh done good with old Abe as well, just imagine growing up with young Albus-too-many-middle-names Dumbledore. Its no wonder Abe's greatest claim ter fame has goats heads!
Yeh keep writin' em, and I'll keep readin' em. I just got back from readin' some other reviews, and it makes me ask the question... Are other readers findin' it hard to get too involved in plain, simple, un-convaluted stories? or is it just me? Signed wrong way rubeus

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.   I apprectiate it and will do my best to continue impressing you.~Jim

FireFairy posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 3:00am for I'm Even On My Knees

Nice chapter! I like that Harry broke up with Luna and that Luna has jealousy issues: it makes them seem more human again and kinda more realistic! I love this story and I can't wait for the next chapter! Update soon please!

JBern replied:

Thanks.~Jim

Hagrid posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 2:55am for I'm Even On My Knees

Tis a good thing I weren't chewin on the hair o' the dawg when I read that Albus Severus Potter tripe, I'da spewed for certain. Yer a deranged soul, I mean, who could'a come up with a name like that? Besides, I kinda like Ralph, gotta touch o' class ter it. Yeh done good with old Abe as well, just imagine growing up with young Albus-too-many-middle-names Dumbledore. Its no wonder Abe's greatest claim ter fame has goats heads!
Yeh keep writin' em, and I'll keep readin' em.

JBern replied:

I figured you'd like the "Oh it had a goat head alright" line.

Jim

Killedbykarma posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 2:16am for I'm Even On My Knees

Nice use of old folklore. Baba Yaga...nice.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Next chapter in 2 weeks.~Jim

Rakhasa posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 1:32am for I'm Even On My Knees

Yet another wonderful chapter. I cannot wait to see you flesh eastern europe like you fleshed Brasil and the native americans.

You spin and walk back to your quarters while trying to convince yourself that it’s all Luna’s fault.

The problem is you know that’s not entirely true.

Even after everthing than has gone on, some of the old Harry shows through from time to time -it's nice to see than he has not changed overnight, he is still growing and he still blames himself for the actions of others.
Yes, it is all Luna's fault. We cannot blame her too much, as she does have her troubles, and they are real ones, but simply put, compared to Harry's they are just minor, and sicne they started a relatinship Harry has not done anything wrong. Harry has enough on his plate to pamper the ego of a jealous shrew. She still wants to be Looney in public, but expects Harry to tell her all his movements. As Harry said, she does not trust him. Maybe they could work in peacetime, where Harry could aford the patience to let Luna mature, but they are not in peacetime. This relationship is a disaster waiting to happen, a potentially lethal one for Harry -it would almost certianly explode on the worst moment. Harry has already had a taste in Bungle, whne she wanted to betray him to Dumbledore in a snippy fit. It is better to stop it now and wait for a better moment. It is a pity, since I like Luna/Harry a lot, but on this fic Luna is a very bad idea.

JBern replied:

Thanks for enjoying my fic so much.   I will do my level best to portray an interesting Baba Yaga.   The Harry/Luna wasn't working right now, so it had to end badly.   It might start again at some point, but right now I plan on shipping Harry/Action for a few chapters.

Wolf550e posted a comment on Saturday 28th June 2008 12:31am for I'm Even On My Knees

RE: Reality bites.
I listened to the mp4 file. Aside: For some reason, mplayer failed to play it at chapter boundary, but that is mplayer's fault because xine played it fine. I'm sure quicktime would play it just fine.
It was nice how you kept surprising the reader. The voice acting was good. A world where not only do vampires exist but are not concerned with displaying a college diploma that reveals them for who they are is quite interesting. But if vampires are known to exist, the insurance policy should take that into account. Though I suppose he just got suckered by that lawyer...

RE: TML.
If you intend for Harry/Luna to triumph, how are you getting Luna to grow up? Why doesn't Harry punish the Weasleys more? Did Fleur really sabotage Harry's relationship?

JBern replied:

Thanks for listening to my original story.   Glad you enjoyed it.   Luna will have to make a choice at some point.   Harry will ask Fleur that when he sees her next.~Jim

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Friday 27th June 2008 11:59pm for I'm Even On My Knees

And once again I find myself in envy of Harry's troll! Brilliant chapter!

JBern replied:

Thanks.~Jim