To Fight the Coming Darkness
Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
By JBern
Reviews
Wolfric posted a comment on Wednesday 29th August 2007 3:26pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Fine chapter. I'm interested to see this story come to its conclusion. It seems a bit odd to me that Voldemort would exhaust himself for the limited stategic advantage he gets from reanimating Coedus. Though I suppose it feeds his mystique. Thanks for writing. W.
JBern replied:
Thank you for your review. With only three chapters and the epilogue left, I hope to pull out all the stops and give the story the ending that it truly deserves, one that you the readers can really appreciate. As for Voldemort, one can never know what his motivations truly are, at least at the moment. More on that coming soon. ~Jim
00_Knight posted a comment on Monday 27th August 2007 12:57pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Its getting to the quick now isn't it? This is turning out to be a truly masterfull DARK themed story, where as your other story Bungle in the Jungle was a story of betrayal and Harry becoming a Kick Ass warding protoge of Bill Weasly!
Still this story remains excellent, which is not to say that it never was excellent... Ah the whole I find myself digging...
Keep up the good work, I find the part about Narrcissa playing the "ally of the light" to use her son to force a battle to end the war a striking plan that earns top marks... regardless of Her true loyalties!
JBern replied:
With only three chapters and the epilogue left, I hope to pull out all the stops and give the story the ending that it truly deserves. One of the really cool things about the story is that I actually had a lot of people rooting for Narcissa. How cool is that?
Jim
Kinsfire posted a comment on Monday 27th August 2007 4:28am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
The problem that I see with this story is that Harry simply cannot win in the long run. Yes, he may actually get lucky and defeat the tactical genius that is Voldemort, but he's shown no real sense that he's got what it takes.
Even if he wins against Voldie, the Ministry wins, and since it's now a dictatorship with Scrimgeour at the reins, he'll find some reason to keep martial law going. If Harry shows enough power, then they'll find a reason to have him executed, and likely kill Susan as well, placing the triplets with a "proper" family.
This can't end well for the 'good guys', especially since Harry is fighting a war on at least two fronts, if not more. Voldemort (through Lily), and at the school. He's also fighting the Ministry (and how many of the confiscated items "accidentally" ended up in Pansy's hands?).
The Dark will win the day in this one, even if everything else goes right. Voldemort will have permanently destroyed Harry's good memories of his mother, and Susan simply isn't strong enough to keep Harry on the side of Light.
This, of course, is merely my take on what I've been reading. You're good enough to be able to prove me wrong - believably - on all counts.
JBern replied:
I don't necessarily know that's a problem Keith. I'm practicing with my Dragon NaturallySpeaking by responding to all the reviews at a funny because when I said your name it comes out as the word chief and I manually have to enter it.
The story itself has only three more chapters plus the half written epilogue to go. So you will see where I'm ending it hopefully by the end of September. I think you'll enjoy what I have in mind and even if you don't enjoy it you least appreciate it.Regards,
Jim
rune1806 posted a comment on Saturday 25th August 2007 6:44am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
you are doing a good job of filing out the people in the story, love the twist with frank!! It is a joy to read the way you are writing albus, we all get old, slow and lose some of what we had in our youth well done. I love the idea that mother and son are going to try to play both sides againsted each other to try and come out on top,people are not just black or white but some of both.
JBern replied:
One of the best parts about Chapter 37 was writing Dumbledore as he pondered his failings. Dumbledore is a tough character to write either ends up being a manipulative a-hole or a senile old fool. Trying to find the real human being beneath, it's a real challenge. Honestly, I think the only thing harder character to write in the HP universe is Luna.~Jim
atlantis-rob posted a comment on Friday 24th August 2007 11:00pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Argh, man you make it tough on poor ole harry. But good work with all the move forwards, interesting revelations with narcissa and draco. But very good. What a mess frickin neville caused though....jeez. Cheers!!
JBern replied:
Would you really want it to be that easy for Harry? Only three more chapters and an epilogue and the story is gone! I hope you continue to enjoy.~Jim
Mark Blaine posted a comment on Friday 24th August 2007 10:25am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Good work. Is Sissy actually playing the Light, playing Draco, or both. Poor Neville, stabbed to death by Malfoy.
JBern replied:
That's a really good question, stick around and you'll have your answer.~Jim
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 1:20pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Lily is going to make another bad day for Harry.
MPF
JBern replied:
Harry does seem to have more than his fair share of bad days doesn't he? I hope you continue to enjoy.~Jim
rodrigo2 posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 8:05am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Great chapter. Hope you update the story soon.
JBern replied:
Next update is coming soon. I hope you continue to enjoy.
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 1:59am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Wow! Was that ever superb. Absolutely amazing, from the article by Skeeter and the corresponding censorship to the foreboding end of a Demon like Lilly Potter possibly rampaging through Hogwarts.
One interesting fact was how interesting your Voldemort is. I've said this before and I probably will again. So many Fanfic authors portray him as an evil monster with no real apparent brains and just happy to crucio all his followers. Yours makes deals, and follows up on promises. The deal with Coedus and turning him back into Darius Longbottom was great was great. He seems like the most feared Dark Wizard in a century, because he is both powerful and cunning as well gifted in his intelligence.
I know your not a fan of DH but at the same time I think that showed a different side to Voldemort as well, in that he went hunting for the Elder Wand himself. He checked his Horcruxes rather than send a minion to do it. I think thats a really great way of portraying him.
The tension in the scene at the end was superb and the way everything broke out. I also loved the duel with Dumbledore. I liked how you wrote it form Dumble's perspective and how you showed his thoughts and tactics.
The stuff with Narcissa plotting with Draco was interesting. I'm wondering how much she actually plans to follow through on that. Especially the way she presented it, as I don't see Charlie Weasley going along with that very easily.
Also, it was very refreshing to see how Harry planned to honour George in naming his child. Truly a great idea, especially for the sentiment it expresses in your very dark story. It is another thing that defies fannon convention as most have him naming one for his father, mother, Sirius and often old Albus.
As ever, thanks for writing. I look forward to more with anxiously bated breath.
Monkey
JBern replied:
Thanks always for your review. I'm glad you appreciate my version of Voldemort. And you're right, I still can't stand the seventh book. However, we don't need to go into that here!
As for Narcissa, you'll just have to hang around and see what she's up to. Like I told another reviewer, one of the coolest parts about this story is that I actually have people rooting for Narcissa.
Regards,
Jim
Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 12:32am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Ouch, if they're turning up Rita then things can only get nastier. Loved that article and the whole "Potter is evil" rants. Oh ye gods, that ending is mean! Good to see this drawing to such a satisfying conclusion as we approach the extremely dark end. Excellent chapter. More please.
JBern replied:
Next chapter is coming soon and hopefully the entire story will be concluded by the end of September. I think you will enjoy what I have in my.
Regards,
Jim
fraupapst posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 9:01pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
I'm looking forward to what Rita is going to do about her muzzle. Somehow, I can't see Scrimgeour being happy with her in the end;-)
Dumbledore's self-doubts were really touching, I felt really sorry for him. He's going to die fighting in your story, isn't he?
This chapter has a feel of near finality. Everything seems to be in place for the final confrontations now.
JBern replied:
Writing both Dumbledore and Rita this chapter were personal highlights for me. We are not quite at final confrontation phase, but we are getting very close. I hope you continue to enjoy.
Regards,
Jim
skulLXeon posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 8:30pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
damn... things are definitely getting worse. But i'm wondering, why'd Harry just "allow" his books to be confiscated just cause they were restricted, i'd say he shouldn't have given a damn about what the wizengamot said and stashed them in the room of requirement... but eh... its all good...
good chapter after all....
and i hope that the end is near for all Death Eater lackeys... including that Caruthers girl....
she should've gotten smoked by Neville but eh...
lol... good work and adios for now... =D
AGX
JBern replied:
In part of this case, it wasn't that the books were restricted, it was that they were illegal. End is near basically for the entire story and not just all the death eater lackeys. I hope you continue to enjoy.
Regards,
Jim
Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 6:59pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Sliding towards a totalirian (sp?) state. The fact that Rita's new "boss" is one of her former victims is only icing on that particular cake. Nice touch.
How ironic that Malfoy is lauded the hero after shooting the two aurors in the back. No repercussions from that little detail?
Cissy's action is kinda surprising. Unless she has a hidden agenda, which is hardly unbelievable.
Moe, Larry, and Curly? *amused smirk*
> "Albus? Sorry, bad joke, but not much worse than your three Muggle comedians."
> "Oi, that’s a horrible name! Right up there with Severus?
*laugh* Gee, I wonder if you're picking fun at something in particular with THAT line!
Harry vetoes "Sirius", but doesn't give a reason, really. Just out of curiosity, is there reasoning behind not doing that, or just a "don't want to follow the obvious name"?
Loved the tactical analysis from inside AD's head. His feelings of inadequacy (to the situation in general) give him a dimension of humanity. Nice to see Harry isn't superman as of yet. AD had him beat until he pulled out a trick.
*nod* Good to have that fight break out. Picking Dean makes sense. For multiple reasons, he almost has to fall to Nev's side.
Oooh, so we're going to actually have Lily show up this time? And the way it was presented, Tonks is clearly going to have some serious guilt issues before it's all over.
Liked how you've portrayed Tonks, BTW. Loyal bodyguard.
Good stuff.
JBern replied:
I just couldn't resist a poke at book 7. I'm glad you appreciate all little details in the story. As for Malfoy, in the heat of battle I'm sure those two wizards weren't sure who hit them.
Anyway, Narcissa is always looking out for number one, so that should not surprise you. As very dark story, it is difficult but I tried to interject if he were here and there.
Regards,
Jim
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 2:52pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
A couple of edit fixes:
"Give me a moment to thing this through." thing -> think
"Well, three hours is more than you’ve been usually been getting." One 'been' should go, I figure.
Well, hopefully Harry can kill his Mum and be done with that. I feel as frustrated with it as he does. :-)
Thanks for sharing this with us.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the corrections. I've eiter made them are ready or have added them to my list of what needs to be fixed when I finally finished the story. With only three chapters in the epilogue left, I hope to pull out all the stops and really give the story the ending that it deserves. Hope you continue to enjoy.
Regards,
Jim
noylj posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 2:35pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Lily Potter?? What NOW? too bad Nev couldn't have taken out ferret. Now, if someone would just start taking out real DEs, the WW might have a chance.
JBern replied:
What now is a big battle trust me you won't want to miss it!
Regards,
Jim
dwilken posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 12:50pm for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Brrrrr..........
But Ye Gods, I love your Voldemort character!
JBern replied:
And I love writing Voldemort!
Jim
Black Dragon Knight posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:22am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
You did a nice job with Skeeter in the beginning, and the Ministry B.S.. The Ministry trying to put it's spin on things, trying to paint a bright picture on a dim setting.
This chapter was a good setup for the final act to come. I'm really interested in seeing how everything you've created in this story, and it is a lot, finally wraps up.
JBern replied:
Flee the entire story will be completed by the end of September. With any luck, you will have to wait very long.
Jim
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:01am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Outstanding chapter!!!! I can't wait to read what happens in the next chapter. Wow so Voldemort finally sent Lily out to attempt to kill Harry but will he fail or succeed, my guess is he will fail because Voldemort is stupid like that. I do love the entire thing about the pity fuck and how Lily was the one to bring it up but I don't think it was but thats just me. Do keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)
JBern replied:
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, next chapter is coming soon and hopefully the entire story will be completed by the end of September.
Jim
joeBob posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:00am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
Thanks for the update.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. I hope you continue to enjoy.
Jim
Fenris Ulf posted a comment on Tuesday 4th September 2007 3:09am for Hidden Agendas, Open Hostility
JBern replied: