Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 2:41am

Nice title and so good to see this continued.

LOL at Harry's introduction to Fleur. What a way of bringing those two together! I love your reasoning behind why Sirius wasn't expelled for the whole Snape incident. This whole scene was simply superb, with the more James-ish side of Harry coming to the fore. The whole "tart's meagre aura" sentence was laugh my head off funny.

I think the Flitwick / Maxime comment is as filthy as the person that reads it and thanks to Monkey, that's pretty filthy in my case. Love your assessment of Viktor being everything Draco wants to be. Harry's reflexes would have to have been pretty quick to be faster than the Hat's mouth, and Loki it's good to be reading the Hat again. He's so entertaining. The Hufflepuff harem was a giggle-worthy line.

Grinned my head off at the McGonagall scene and loved your reintroduction of Penny. You're quite correct in thinking you write good Rita, suitably vitriolic and downright mean but still cutting. I also love that final scene with Moody.

As to the biggest change we see in this chapter, I think it's necessary to the plot as otherwise Harry is far too much of a Gryffindor to start being excluded enough to talk to Fleur or behave like himself. Excellent chapter. I have faith in you to make their change of heart make sense. More please.

JBern replied:

Three hours later, I'm rethinking my whole reply to every review policy.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope for more coming your way soon.   HJ is still trying to figure out who he is.   He hopes   to live long enough to grow into his new personal.

As always, thank you for the review.~Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 2:26am

Very well done, and you captured Rita's personality really well imo, given that she's such an awful person that seems to have no love for anything but herself, and not sure if she has that at times. The Hat continues to be a hoot, though McGonagall is still staying ahead imo, much better than the canon version at least. Gryffindor, well, my hope is that their actions will come back to haunt them even more, and that when the first time Ron apologizes for doubting Harry, if he does, that Harry won't just throw up his hands and so, no prob buddy, something that annoyed me in canon. I'd prefer to see Ron and the rest of the house get ripped a new one. Going to be fun to see how this goes from here on, and what will happen with the other champions as well as to see if Victor does his stalky thing with Hermione this time around, and if she feeds into his fantasy. I mean, he meets her the first time that year, and she's already what he'd miss the most? Well, great part here, and can't wait to see what happens next.

JBern replied:

Thank you for your review.   I don't think HJ is the foolishly forgiving sort.   Viktor probably won' t be doin the stalker thing in this one.   I'm going to portray Viktor definitely OOC.   I just don't see how he can this aw shucks kind of guy.   He's 17 and on top of the sports world in an ultracompetitive sport.   I can't see how he doesn't have a big head.~Jim

nesparatu posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 2:09am

Great part. One thing I find myself curious about is Fleur's involvement. The story is listed under Harry/Fleur, but right now their relationship is rather...harsh. Did Rita misinterpret her quote? And what event will occur to bring them closer together? Perhaps they go to the ball together, or something Fleur's date to the ball does will bring them together? Will the 2nd task remain the same, given the extra participants, or will it be changed preventing Harry from saving Gabrielle? However it happens, I have confidence it will be good. Please get the next part out as soon as possible.

JBern replied:

Rita certainly worked her magic during the article.   Yes it's HJ/Fleur.   Yes it's going to be a bumpy ride.   There are 10 total tasks and plenty of time to interact.   Next chaper out before Xmas.~Jim

Exarikun posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 2:06am

quite good, but unless i'm mistaken, also shorter than your usual chapters. anyway, as i say, quite good, and i'm hoping to get to read more. i did spot one error along the way, but i've forgotten where it was, it was either a word too much or one too few in a phrase...

JBern replied:

Actually, it's over 10000 words making it longer than my usual.   Thanks for the review.   Next chapter before Xmas.~Jim

Frank Hacklander posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 2:02am

In this phrase "useless tits will," I think you meant to use the word "twits," but, then again, perhaps not. I would probably pluralize "disappointment" in the phrase "a series of disappointment." Quibbles aside, this was a great chapter. Recycling names from TFCD, e.g. Aimee, could also prove interesting to the extent you develop those characters. In short, a boffo performance. Can't wait for the next one.

JBern replied:

Nope - useless tits was the correct phrase.   Aimee will have a bit of a role.   I think you'll enjoy.   Next chapter before Xmas.   TML chapter 4 coming soon.~Jim

Viridian posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 1:58am

Interesting. It's very well written, but I have to admit that I get so annoyed and frustrated on this Harry's behalf that I almost don't want to read any more.

It's a sign that you are doing a very good job of sucking me into the story and getting me to empathize with the characters, but I almost want to hold off on reading the new chapters until I'm sure there is some conflict resolution going on. Otherwise, reading a chapter like this, and knowing it will be a while until more comes out, leaves me with the psychological equivalent of blue balls.

Does that make sense?

JBern replied:

I just had to skip down and reply to this one before I head out the door for work.   "The psychological equivalent of blue balls" is one of the most amusing lines I've seen in a long time and I am in regular contact with Nonjon, so that says something!

Like I said in one of the reviews currently up at the top provoking an emotional response whether it is mirth or even frustration is the goal of writing - aside from cash, but since that isn't going to happen I'll settle for this.   You do it often enough to your readers.   I recall me chiding you in NoFP about since the kiddies Occlumency was improving, Snapes Legilimency should also improve to some extent since prior to that he wasn't meeting any real resistance.   One of those until you have to really work at it you won't improve things.

Regards,

Jim

Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 1:37am

Definitely more sucked back in than sucked. The hat was certainly in fine form in this chapter, and I would agree that you write a pretty good Skeeter. I like the broom race to start the tournament, and I'll be looking forward to see what else you come up with. I'm also glad that HJ isn't just going to give up the map without a thought. I'm curious to see what effects that will have. Thanks for writing.
Jay

JBern replied:

Hopefully, I'll be able to pull off an exciting broom race and really make it interesting.   Thanks for the review.   Next up is TML 4, but chapter 9 of this one will be done before Xmas.~Jim

haroon hameed posted a comment on Monday 26th November 2007 6:21am

Brilliant Work Brother!this one is your best fanfiction you wrote so far and please update Soon

JBern replied:

Three hours later, I have replied to all my reviews.   Thank you for yours.   Next chapter coming soon.~Jim

vasilis01 posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 4:30pm

So far its been an original and interesting story. Nice work. Keep writing.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you like it.   Next chapter before Xmas.~Jim

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 8:29am

Great stuff, I'm looking forward to when HJ pulls out some of the more nasty pranks on F&G. Also, they're definitely not getting that funding at the rate they're goin'.

Looking forward to more! :)

JBern replied:

I'm happy to say that I have finally started writing chapter 8.~Jim

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 7:37am

Hahaha, gotta love that hat...

Nice little twist with the Bloody Baron being his ancestor.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you are enjoying it.~Jim

Immortalitis posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 11:20pm

You seriously have to continue this.

If you don't...*Eyetwitch*

JBern replied:

I'll be starting chapter 8 this week.~Jim

verdant posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 3:57am

I can't wait for the next installment. Hint, hint. Thanks for the work so far--it's really good!

JBern replied:

Just posted the Darkness finale and now can clear the decks so to speak and start thinking and writing this story again.   Next chapter coming soon.~Jim

busted posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 10:45pm

I see from your replies to others you will be updating soon hopefully :D

After reading some of the other reviews I saw some other things I would like to comment on.

Some people don’t like when Harry isn’t friends with Hermione, Ron the twins Etc. but I love it. It seems as though they think they can just put him down as well as push him around and he’s going to bend to there will. I like that HJ has the self esteem and confidence to not have to try and defend himself and his actions all the time.

The points HJ raised about the others just being like immature children to him are very true. I have always thought Ron was an idiot. He is very hot headed and doesn’t think things through. He is really overprotective and can be very mean or rude even to his "Friends." His jealousy is also childish. I would not want a friend like that. Hermione’s tendency to go to authoritive figures for everything and being a stickler for the rules would piss me off.

Harry seems to always care what other people think and cares to much about there feelings but I like that HJ balances this out more. He does care for people’s feelings but not so much that he will go too far out of his way to make sure everyone is happy. Although I would rather he didn’t "feign ignorance on some of the problems just to make her (Hermione) feel better." If she wants to be childish and not be happy for her friend because now he is smart enough to not need her help then just let her deal with it.

I like stories where Harry goes off and does his own things the way he wants to and doesn’t put up with peoples crap. He should train and better advance his knowledge since that is what I would do if I knew I had to fight Voldemort. It also makes me happy to know that he is progressing so as to make you feel better about his prospects for the future.

I like the match of HJ and Fleur because she is so stuck up and thinks she is too good for everyone so it will be enjoyable to see HJ win her over. I think HJs confidence, mature behaviour and charm will help to attract her. It seems she likes men that have strong will power i.e. are unaffected by her veela powers.

Although Fleur can be a bitch if she thinks you are below her she is nice to those she considers equals. Moreover Fleur has been shown to be affectionate, loyal and caring to those she loves so I would like to see HJ in that position. I hope that you do show these better sides of her, which you probably will and that’ll help HJ and the readers like her more. It also doesn’t hurt that she is incredibly HOT!! With HJs personality he probably likes her self confidence and legs :P… The fact that at first Fleur will just think of him as "just a little boy" will definitely make the transition to a relationship interesting. I think everyone enjoys the main guy having the girl fall for him that others think is out of his reach.

Only time and updates will tell what will actually happen so keep up the great work ;) and pump out those updates.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the two long reviews.   I'm glad you enjoy the direction that I am taking HJ.   Now that Darkness is officially finito, I can start investing time and effort into this story again.   More fun on the horizon.~Jim

busted posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 9:06pm

I just read this for the second time and im still really looking forward to the next chapter. You have very good ideas and I love James Potters perception of people and different circumstances. Out of your three running stories this is the one i look forward to the most since it makes me laugh. I also love your story To Fight the Coming Darkness. It has great action and fighting but humour is still what I enjoy most.

Now that you have (finished/Almost finished)? writing To Fight the Coming Darkness hopefully you can start to get the updates coming on this story.

JBern replied:

As mentioned in my other reply thanks.   I enjoy writing in the first person and have been waiting to finish Darkness before leaping into this story.   Now, the wait is finally over!~Jim

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 3:52pm

HJ's identity is in question? I always assumed it was for HarryJames.

JBern replied:

Well, he doesn't know if he's Harry with James' memories or James stuck in Harry's body.   After a while, he doesn't really care - he just is.

Next chapter coming soon!~Jim

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 12:08pm

Interesting premise.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Hopefully, the storyline will draw you in.~Jim

matthiasblack posted a comment on Tuesday 6th November 2007 3:20am

This is quite interesting as it doesn't follow many of the cliches associated with GOF fics. Harry isn't best friends with the twins, there is still some quidditch, and you explain the Bloody Baron quite nicely. I find this fic to be quite refreshing compared to the cliche ridden stories that have been coming out. Thank you and keep up the good work.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'm trying to blaze a different trail here.   I'm about to start writing this story again.~Jim

nynaeve posted a comment on Sunday 4th November 2007 8:37pm

nice writing style; i like your story, but please update more frequently...

JBern replied:

Now that Darkness is just about finished, I'm getting back on to this one.~Jim

Mark Blaine posted a comment on Saturday 3rd November 2007 3:33pm

Good work.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'll be picking up this story again shortly.~Jim