By JBern
Reviews
dave gerecke posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 9:39pm
I LIKE THIS STORY.
So glad that you have updated it.
dave
JBern replied:
Next update coming by the 28th.~Jim
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
DrT posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 9:04pm
Another good chapter, and I really enjoyed the HJ/Hermione work. Hermione seemed a bit out of her depth in the beginning, but came through well at the end. It seems HJ is finally taking control instead of relying so much on James
JBern replied:
Thanks again for all your reviews. I'm glad you appreciated the Harry and Hermione dynamic I was using in that chapter. Next chapter within 7 days.
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
CosmosGravitation posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 7:52pm
Even though there wasn't much Fleur, I found this to be perhaps the most enjoyable chapter of the entire story, which is really saying something. If it's not the most enjoyable, it's up there.
The Harry/Hermione dialogue and banter really elevated this chapter above what it would have been. Just spot on, a real pleasure to read. Hermione wasn't annoying, Harry wasn't condescending or an asshole.
It really says something about Hermione's loyalty to Harry that she'd volunteer for this even though Aimee was just seriously wounded in the last event. I'm honestly surprised all the champions got someone to volunteer for them... although I suppose there's a small amount of fame to be had by volunteering.
I have a fatal flaw of rooting for the underdog, and it's almost enough to make me wish this was a Harry/Hermione story even though I usually enjoy the rarer pairings such as Harry/Fleur much more. You'll probably have me changing my mind once the Harry/Fleur scenes start coming again though. If you ever do a Harry/Hermione story I think you'll be hard pressed to make the relationship as entertaining as this chapter.
On a similar topic, I never understood why so many fan fiction authors give away the pairing at the very start of their story. It'd be much more interesting to me to guess the pairing as the story progresses... most professional writers do it that way for a reason. I guess it's because so many readers only read stories about certain pairings and such and might be upset if the story doesn't go their way. I say screw them though. For me, mystery is the way to go.
Although if push comes to shove I guess there's nothing preventing you from switching the pairing. I saw Master Slytherin switch his pairing at the last moment in a recent story, and I have no idea how you're going to pull Harry/Luna off in Turn Me Loose.
I wonder if Fleur's volunteer slowed her down (veela entrancement?) or if Harry's strategy just streamrolled him past her on speed alone. Veela entrancement has been used a couple of times now, so I won't be opposed to the later. Still, if it's supposed to be very rare to resist one would expect it to come into play often. Maybe both?
Was good to see an Order of the Phoenix that seems to know what it's doing. I can't tell you how tiresome it gets to read about an incompetent Dumbledore and Order in so many other stories. Or maybe I could, I'm sure you've read your share of fan fiction.
Noticed only one minor error when reading.
"You can't stop me, Potter. You're luck won't last."... I believe "You're" should be "Your"
Sorry for rambling in there. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and I'll be keeping an eye out for your original fiction I want to read (Dead Eye).
JBern replied:
Thanks as always for the especially long review. Lots of Fleur in the next chapter. I have a H/Hr fic in mind, but I don't know if it will be the light hearted type of story.
I think FF authors put the pairing out there to attract the certain groups that follow that ship. I've got another fic almost ready, I think I'll try to keep the ship a mystery.
Next chapter of this one by the 28th.
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
luckykas posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 7:12pm
Great chapter... The lake task was way better than canon. Very well thought out and written. I am however curious to know the result of giving the cure to one of the Longbottoms. Who was chosen? Harry might have chosen Alice to give Neville his mother's love; whereas the more pragmatic James might choose Frank knowing he needs experienced fighters by his side. BTW why didnt Dumbledore do this when he had the stone in his possession for Harry's first year?
JBern replied:
The answer to your question will be in the next chapter. Dumbledore tried, but Nicholas Flamel shot that idea down. Next chapter coming by the 28th.~Jim
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
metrobluejay posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 6:29pm
What happened with the Elixer of Life? You know the cliffhanger you left us with? At a guess I'm going to say that since you didn't say anything besides HJ being angsty that it didn't work. But we have nothing confirmed.
JBern replied:
It will be answered next chapter, which will be out by the 28th.~Jim
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
skulLXeon posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 5:33pm
Well, this was very interesting... nice rhino usage.... :) Very good chap, i'll see you at your next update.... :)
JBern replied:
It'll be soon. The next chapter will be up by the 28th.~Jim
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
noylj posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 5:06pm
Hurray. an update and a good un at that.
Thanks.
JBern replied:
More coming soon.~Jim
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
mathiasgranger posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 4:56pm
Yes the rhinomagus was a rather unique selection from Luna's Hubby...
Interesting chapter, but nothing really seemed to actually happen plot wise. It's frustrating for both readers and the author to write ones like this, but they are necessary to a story.
Nice chapter.
Thanks for writing,
Matt
JBern replied:
Sadly, I did kind of use the task as a "filler." The next chapter is mostly done and there is much more meat in it. Next chapter by the 28th.
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
Clell65619 posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 4:25pm
"I might have spackled the gargoyle's ass shut." is now my favorite line in all fan fiction, though ‘Granger mounts a champion and rides Potter bareback to victory’ is a close second
- An excellent addition to one of the best fics ever, thank you.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the compliment. Wait until you see the next chapter a week from now...
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 4:19pm
Far more interesting than the usual water task. I liked how Hermione was an asset and Ron was nowhere to be seen.
I might have spackled the gargoyle's ass shut
-oh..that had me laughing
Wow. The Order actualy appears a bit compentent.
much like every other Order gathering that involves more than six people
-Good one. True of any meeting.
On Tantor!" I scream and do my best Lord of the Apes impression complete with the yell.
-Can you draw?
What a fun read! Plenty of action and humor. Thanks for writing.
JBern replied:
No, I can't draw worth a damn. I see you've been stuck in as many meetings as I have. I'm glad you appreciated it. The next chapter should really get the blood pumping. It'll be up by the 28th.
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
Matthew Sands posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 4:14pm
Hmmm, now what's going to go horribly wrong, and how is Fudge going to gloss it over this time?
JBern replied:
You're just getting suspicious now...or maybe not...
Next chapter up by the 28th.~Jim
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
riegert8 posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 4:11pm
Interesting chapter
JBern replied:
Thanks. More coming by the 28th.~Jim
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
Silo posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 3:51pm
nice i hope to see more soon iw want to see what happens next and how wins this task man
JBern replied:
The next update will be by the 28th.~Jim
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
Jon posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 3:43pm
I got a sinking feeling that HJ's last to arrive, despite his optimism...
JBern replied:
Find out next weekend (the 28th) when the next exciting installment is posted.
PS - Now for shameless promo time! I'm also pleased to announce that Horror, Humor, and Heroes is now on sale. Visit www.jimbernheimer.com and you'll find the Amazon link right on the top of the homepage.
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Wednesday 11th February 2009 7:18am
This was a great chapter Jbern. Now I have caught up I can't wait for more. I hope that TML develops as equally brilliantly as I catch up with that too.
At the moment I think this is my favourite of your stories it just has the best blend of everything I think.
Now onto the review proper. I loved the bit just before they switch the lungs back and Harry muses on changing the family motto to "As you well know, Mr Potter, this will hurt quite a bit. Prepare yourself". I think that should be done its hilarious.
The password; "Heroism is not measure in points, but deeds" was also very good. Where do you get all these great sayings from? I like how the Fat lady helped get the message across to HJ.
Love that Perenelle Flamel calls Dumbles Brian. Also love that the hat is the reason that Nicolas Flamel didn't come to Hogwarts all that much.
Whoa! Harry with the Elixir of life, now that is quite a gift. I wonder why fanfic author's haven't thought to use that before. I don't mean to be mean about Neville's parents but why give Harry such a powerful gift from Flamel and using it on them. It gives you a great plot device to play with later. Have written that before I finished the chapter I think I understand and applauude the idea all over again.
Thanks for writing, I can't wait for more!
Monkey
JBern replied:
Thank you for the compliments. I put a lot into these chapters and it's nice to be recognized for it.~Jim
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Wednesday 11th February 2009 3:44am
Wow, wow and double wow! That was superb. Where to start with the compliments; with the "Cranial-rectal extraction" or the last interaction between Dumbles and HJ! A Dumbledore who know's who the Rolling Stones are is pretty funny in its own right.
Also, such an inventively funny way to deal with the tasks. Very much playing to James Potter's strengths of pranking rather than Harry's strength in flying. Just so brilliant.
I love the name of the chapter and what a "dykstra shuffle" turns out to be. Really had me on the edge of my seat when Aimee got caught and I must say I think you did a very, very good magical "medical" scene as you phrase it. Like Poppy's "I'm doing a cut and bubble"; which sounds so brillianty medical and contemporary and funny and magical all at the same time. That alone is genius my friend!
Its good to see the differences between stories again; Fawkes being friendly with HJ rather than against him as he is in TML.
Can't wait for more, oh wait lucky old me still has one more chapter to catch up on. Still I wish it was more!
Thanks for writing!
Monkey
JBern replied:
Thanks again for the compliments. Glad you liked my version of the magical medical scene.~Jim
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Tuesday 10th February 2009 10:15pm
Great chapter. I think how you dealt with Dumbles finally finding out was very good. It was anti-climactic for HJ but I think its kind of good that it was. Its nice to see you not using dumbles to make a big deal and a confrontation about it. In both your previous stories the relations between them have been strained so I think its good that your not going down exactly the same route.
Thanks for writing.
Monkey
JBern replied:
Thanks for reading and reviewing.~Jim
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Tuesday 10th February 2009 4:26am
Love the "to bolster my confidence with cheap memories of large mammary glands", its cheap and dirty but is quite a chuckle.
Your disgusting, him shitting himself! Yuck, but funny too.
Love the method of Harry's victory. My only criticism is can't you let the poor boy have a break? Just have one "no strings attached" victory where other things don't go wrong for him.
Other than that I love this story and can't wait for more. Congratulations on your newborn daughter if I have omitted to say so previously; will you read these as bedside stories to her? LOL!
Thanks for writing.
Monkey
JBern replied:
Occasionally, there are no strings attached. Most times, not. Where would the fun be in that?~Jim
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Tuesday 10th February 2009 1:48am
Got to admit Jbern; "hairless, sperm burping monkey" has to be one of your funniest lines ever! The hat is the greatest comic creation ever and I included comparing that to Nonjon's "Where in the world is harry potter" trilogy (considering how much Rebel Goddess and I adore that fic, this is high praise indeed!).
Also, love the name drop of Kwan. I take it that is a tip of the hat to the Kwan of Bungle and TML fame?
Love the crack about the Star Trek movies, imagine if Leonard Nimoy had been asked to play Dumbledore for the movies. Crazy I know but funny.
Awsome chapter, really very good. Loved Harry's zig by asking Aimee!
Thanks for writing.
Monkey
JBern replied:
Thanks. Tell RG I said Hey. I originally started coming up with some uber cool Spanish Htiwitch, but then realized that I had two perfectly good Hitwizards ready to go from Bungle. Why make things harder on myself?~Jim
baumgal2 posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 10:42pm
JBern replied: