By JBern
Reviews
veela504 posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 12:32pm
Fantastic! I Loved It! Well worth the wait.
Happy Holidays to you as well!
Debby
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed it. I start laying out chapter 29 today. Chapter 17 of Bungle will be up by Wednesday. Thanks for the review.~Jim
Renzo7 posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 12:27pm
Awesome work with that last scene, it was beautiful. I also liked the scene with Bill capturing Aimee. Overall great work, keep it up.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. I start laying out chapter 29 today.~Jim
Patches posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 10:24am
This was a good chapter. I'm glad Bill got Aimee. She deserved it. I am sorry Harry had such a hard time dealing with the last battle. It stands to reason he would be ready for a breakdown after having to kill people he cared about. It was also great that Voldemort wasn't haveing such a great time at Hogmeade. I really like the part where Mrs. Weaseley gets a shot at Voldemort enough for him to feel it. It was great that Filius got some recognition for his dueling expertise. I am glad Susan finally got Hermione to shut up. That was a great ending. Harry is going to be a father. What a great way to get him back on track to thinking about the future. Susan did a great job of talking to him about the problems. Her bluff was great. A real surprise to Harry and also to Susan. What a great way for them both to find out their going to be parents. Thanks for writing. I look forward to the next chapter. pms
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. Poor Voldy, all the other fanfic Voldys can now pick on him for getting cursed by Molly. It's very humbling. On Harry's side, rarely does a child 'fix everything'. My suspicion is that there will still be rough sailing for the Harry/Susan ship.~Jim
Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 9:23am
Hmmm, interesting developments. I honestly haven't gotten the impression that Harry and Susan have been intimate all that much, not only physically but emotionally. Physically, I feel there haven't been too many opportunities to get her pregnant. Granted, "it only takes one time...", and the affinity, or whatever you were calling it, is supposed to make them more fertile and compatible. I see that, but this maybe ties into my next point.In regards to their emotional growth, my impressions of the Harry/Susan 'ship has been more of a "casual friends, sometimes with benefits" rather than two betrothed people trying to get to know each other well enough to fall in love. I understand that they are in the middle of some terrible nastiness, but I think that Susan at least, would try to press Harry for a little more "Us" time, especially given the realization that she does indeed love him. That is my two cents, take it for what it is worth.
JBern replied:
For a few chapters they were like bunnies. Hannah even made a point of telling them to warn her back when they were at #12, but you have a point about the fact that their relationship (all 8-10 weeks of it) probably needs some work on their parts. Course there is their handfasting ceremony coming up. Think there will be any pre-wedding jitters?~Jim
nezza posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 8:32am
dude man again u excel. i admit the pov jumping around this chapter was a little strange and i do find it annoying when we relive the same events from different pov's but u managed to sort it out admirably, some authors get EVERY chracters take on harry offing some one and the cahpter goes on forever (like i am ) anyway great update and hope to see much much more
ps best scence was voldie realising he had been cursed by molly weasley. long live the matriarch of the red headed village!!!!
JBern replied:
Thanks. I'm glad I didn't lose you on the pov thing. Give Molly her due, she drew blood. He's probably afraid to show his face around the other Dark Lords at the lodge now. ~Jim
Nial posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 6:08am
A nasty part of me would like someone to shovel up all the bits of Snape, put them in a sack and send them to Voldemort. As a response to his message to Lavender...
JBern replied:
Thanks. I start laying out chapter 29 tomorrow. I don't picture Lavender as being that bold, but you never know. ~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 5:43pm
I do like it. I am avidly awaiting further Installments. Thank you for your efforts. W
JBern replied:
Thanks. I start laying out chapter 29 tomorrow.~Jim
jamesf posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 3:58pm
I love this fanfic and you do a very good with it. It is very interesting and I look forward to the next chapter.
JBern replied:
Thanks. I start work on chapter 29 probably tomorrow. ~Jim
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 12:51pm
I loved Bill's revenge. The "quiet" ones can be dangerous; personally, though, I don't blame him a bit for what he did, the bint deserved it.
I rather enjoyed Voldie's reaction to finding the bad side of his link to Harry.
I definitely wonder what choices Draco will make now that he's in a YOYO (You're On Your Own) state. I can't see him ever becoming friendly with Harry, but I can see him refusing to become a DE after reckoning the costs.
Finally, Harry's reaction to what he did and the steps Susan took to break him out of his inward and downward spiral ring quite true.
JBern replied:
Why is it always Harry seeing the downside of a mental link? It should run both ways. I've been waiting to write that Bill scene for about 2 months now. With Kokopelli and the rest of my helpers assistance it turned out really nicely.
We'll see how Draco turns out. I don't care for a redeemed Draco, so don't worry about thay.
Thanks for complimenting me on the realism of the Susan and Harry interaction.~Jim
koppe posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 12:14pm
A new Potter on the way? Great! Looking forward to more.
Harry and Voldemort keep hammering away at eachothers people, don't they...
Would Fleur's death -- by Harry's hand -- perhaps be a reason to bring in Gabrielle?
Keep up the good work.
JBern replied:
If the Delacours are smart they will keep Gabby in France. We'll see if their smart. Thanks for the review.~Jim
Nial posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 11:04am
Brilliant fight scene. And when Harry has his Pain and Anguish over the killing of Snape, he should remember that mistreatment of a corpse may be pretty nasty, but it's not an atrocity. Atrocities are committed on living people.
Oh, by the way, wrt the house numbering: JKR agrees with you, in fact. See start of chapter 4 of OotP: "...a battered door emerged out of nowhere between house eleven and thirteen..." So there. As it happens, I live in a "Place" in the UK, and they're often like mine: a square of houses, not a street, with a garden (or a patch of grass) in the middle and the houses numbered sequentially all the way round. I think this is what JKR had in mind.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the clarification on the house numbering. WRT Harry, he knows he crossed a line he shouldn't have. He'll get better, but not instantly. (If you noticed Tonks still not quite right either after her ordeal 14 chapters ago. That's the kind of realism I am shooting for.)
Thanks again~Jim
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 10:15am
I love what Bill did that was a perfect way to kill the girl who made everything happen. woops Susan is going to have a baby, that will deffently get Harry fixed.
Great Chapter.
Thanks for writing
MPF
JBern replied:
Well you are in the military (as was I), does a pregnancy always fix everything? Maybe, but not necessarily. Thanks for the review.~Jim
Crys posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 9:19am
[quietly admiring] Damn, Bill.
Good description of the action from that quarter, though.
Filius was at 12GP and then later at Hogsmeade? Damn that little guy gets around. And we now have another name to add to the list of "faced LV and lived to tell the tale".
Interesting choice Draco has. We'll see how that turns out.
Susan smacking Hermione around sounds cruel, but what she's saying makes perfect sense. Tonks lashed out at her in anger. Hermione wants to apologize to Harry, but he needs to get his head put back together before he can interact with anyone again.
*wince* Ignoring Susan may be a logical reaction of yours, Harry, but it ain't gonna help in the long run.
> Vampire Coedus might, but Susan was leery of letting the two of them to talk privately.
*think* Yeowch. Very insightful, Susan.
Hmm. Interesting way to shock him back into living.
Now to figure out what it means when each of them saw a different color.
JBern replied:
Thanks as always. Flitwick went with Bill to Hogsmeade first and then they and Tonks went to #12. It was part of the distorted timeline that Kokopelli recomended that I ditch before publishing. I elected to 'do it my way' knowing that it might be confusing.
Draco should be interesting. Normally, he's just a pathetic distraction. The only time he has any critical thinking skills is when he becomes redeemed!Draco. I don't want to write that, so I'll have to settle for making him interesting. Let me know if I pull it off.
Susan did what she needed to do. I love Hermione as a character, but I seem to be very tough on her.
One can only imagine what a conversation between Coedus and a manic depressive Harry would have been like. Susan imagined it and didn't like what she imagined - smart girl.
No real secret - Susan called the test too early, she's pregnant much to both of their surprise.
Jim
slickrcbd posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 8:46am
I don't understand why Bill would obliviate Aimee if he was going to kill her. After all, dead [wo]men tell no tales. I can't see this as necessary unless you're either going to let her survive, or turn into an undead mummy.
Other than that nit-pick, well done.
JBern replied:
I'm going to cheat and copy and paste my response from a previous response. Thanks for the review though. This just saves on the typing. ~Jim
If you require a reason for Bill's actions. He arrives questions her unter Veritaserum and then obliviates her so she won't be able to tell the Ministry what she told Bill. While he is digesting the fact that this low level DE engineered this whole plot, he changes his mind and decides to kill her the most disgusting way he can think of. He had planned to just turn her over and collect a reward. Since he changed his mind after he obliviates her, he feels justified in explaining what is happening to her.
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 8:18am
AWESOME CHAPTER!!!! Yep definitely a crowd pleaser. I can't wait to see what happens next. Its about time that all the sex Susan and Harry have been having turned into something. I hope that the child turns out to be a boy. I think Harry and Susan having a baby boy would help them the most, or better yet twins, 1 boy and 1 girl and he can name them James and Lily. Ok I know its cliche to do that but you know he would because his parents are dead and what better way to pay them the ultimate respect by naming your children after them. DO keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)
JBern replied:
What about Susan's lost relatives? Harry might offer to let Susan pick the name because he knows that Susan is more vested in their relationship. Thanks for the reviews as always.~Jim
PerfesserN posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 7:43am
And so the littlest Potter is introduced. Will that make things better - or worse for the angsty teen who lived; again.
Tune in again next week
month?
For the thrilling continuance.
JBern replied:
It should probably be in 2 weeks for chapter 29. I start laying it out tomorrow. Thanks for the reveiw.~Jim
Quizer posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 7:30am
Crowd pleaser, huh? I personally have to disagree. The whole guilt trip and 'I'm going to turn into a monster' shtick is so overdone that no matter your skill, even you can't make it anything other than tedious.
The part from Draco's point of view was interesting. He's at a crossroads now, and it'll be interesting to see which path he chooses.
The first part with Bill confused me. Why exactly did Bill obliviate her, then tell her everything that happened? Just as a plot device so you could tell everything to the audience? I don't think that worked well; The effect is not so good as to excuse senseless actions taken by your characters.
I've grown to like 'Bungle in the Jungle' a whole lot more than this story. The needless destruction and deaths of characters is not fun nor exciting to read. Random and needless tragedy might be a defining character of war, but I primarily read fiction for enjoyment, so this is directly counterproductive to my efforts. Nevertheless, I will probably continue reading this story, but I will avoid placing too much emotional investment in it.
Quizer
JBern replied:
First, thank you for the long and critical review. I do appreciate the criticsm. In this case, I disagree about Harry's withdrawl. In many fics, he does that the moment he kills his first Joe Deatheater (usually Flint or Higgs - poor guys). In this one he has been able to kill even in cold blood and not just nameless people either. He had no problems justifying it to Rita in the news article about the raids a few chapters ago. However, with Snape's killing, Harry knows he crossed a line that he shouldn't have crossed. He knows he can snap now. It should have an effect on him.
I am still working with how I want Draco to particpate in the story. He needs to be interesting.
The first part was a plot device. You may have disapproved, but others seem to have enjoyed it. However, if you require a reason for Bill's actions. He arrives questions her unter Veritaserum and then obliviates her so she won't be able to tell the Ministry what she told Bill. While he is digesting the fact that this low level DE engineered this whole plot, he changes his mind and decides to kill her the most disgusting way he can think of. He had planned to just turn her over and collect a reward. Since he changed his mind after he obliviates her, he feels justified in explaining what is happening to her.
Glad you enjoy Bungle, hope you continue to follow both of my stories and thanks again for your thoughts.~Jim
Charles Slone posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 6:44am
ohh next generation of Potters are on thier way *does the happy dance* nice chapter my friend
JBern replied:
Well it's probably not the best of times for it to happen to Susan and Harry, but they'll get by. Thank you for the review.~Jim
ZanyMuggle posted a comment on Saturday 6th January 2007 6:38am
Oh wow. As if the Aimee/Bill seen wasn't enough, the aftermath scene was infinitely more thought-provoking, as well as angsty-but-not-maudlin. Wow.
So... since Susan saw blue and Harry saw pink, does that mean *he's* pregnant?
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. Nope, just Susan. She called the result just a bit too soon. No MPREG for Harry. I've never quite understood that topic and quite frankly don't wanna.~Jim
dboris posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 12:53pm
JBern replied: