By JBern
Reviews
PerfesserN posted a comment on Saturday 8th September 2007 7:07am
Whoa!
Eaten by Inferi. Too bad Percy couldn't get his ghost buddies together to possess the zombies and use them against each other. Now where have I seen that before. . .
I do agree, it's a war. People die. You don't get to choose which ones. The Grim Reaper rolls the dice and when your number comes up you gotta go. And when you gotta go, go gotta go. . .
It'll be good to finish this tale, that means you can concentrate on the other two stories, yes?
JBern replied:
Where have I seen that before indeed! Reminds me that I need to catch up on your story, but as you can see from the 2+weeks it's taken me to respond that I am rather busy.~Jim
creaothceann posted a comment on Saturday 8th September 2007 1:45am
YODA: Hmmm. Much anger in him.
Seems like JKR put too many plot details into the first six books, making them more complicated and hence more polished. DH is not a perfect book, true. But talking like that about it doesn't seem necessary to me... It's the one sore spot of bother when reading your updates, the reviews and your replies.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. Mostly it was disappointment on my part and not anger. We could argue about JKR's writing for a long time and I would be happy to debate the size of her gaping plot holes, deus ex machina de jour for each book that somehow seems so important than is barely worth mentioning later and sure, she has professional editors to make certain that her grammar, punctuation and mechanics are flawless. I've got a few people who volunteer their time.
We could do all this, but I doubt that I would change your opinion and you most likely wouldn't change mine. The better solution would be for me to just keep writing.
Regards,
Jim
gadriam posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 11:59pm
Molly, the fabled mother-of-all, cut down and eaten alive in front of her ghost of a son as entertainment for a former vampire. It's so hideous it's clearly art.
Susan rocked. The post-last battle of Lily was a brilliant battlescene. There were a couple of chapters that failed to engage me, but this rocked in so many ways. I agree with Dwilken. Dirty indeed.
Thanx
g
JBern replied:
Sorry for the long delay in replying. As you can imagine it's been busy. Chapter 39 is just waiting on beta. It'll be up soon. I promise, you'll feel even dirtier.~Jim
Rick D Gale posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 2:32pm
While I am glad Harry will no longer be under the effect of 'James' and 'Lily', I am saddened a bit at the demise of Mrs. Weasley - at least in this story.
From the way this last bit was written, it sounded like the Burrow was close to Hogsmead - or did I miss something from an earlier chapter? I think there is a great distance between the two places.
Now we can only hope Percy can get to Harry and company in time to save the rest of the day.
I look forward to your next chapter.
Rick
JBern replied:
The burrow was destroyed a while ago. Molly and Arthur were living at Aberforth's house in Hogsmeade. Hope that clears that up. Sorry for the almost 3 weeks for the reply. It's been busy around here. Chapter 39 will be up in a few days.~Jim
warpwizard posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 2:14pm
You nasty nasty man you. The whole chapter was nasty, especially the end. Good job. :)
JBern replied:
Thanks. Sorry for the long delay. Chapter 39 will be up in a few days and it's just as nasty.~Jim
joeBob posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 1:58pm
Every girl's wish: To off the mother-in law.
Still not sure why Voldy would bother with Darius.
This story may have too many threads... Starting not to care about a lot of them.
Anyway, thanks for the update.
JBern replied:
Only 2 chapters left and you'll get your answers about why Voldy would bother with Darius. Chapter 39 in a few days.~Jim
Mark Blaine posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 1:54pm
. . .and kill Molly instead. I won't even touch the whole she kills Bellatrix thing in book seven. It's just so wrong on so many levels.I'm not sure. You can argue with how it was handled, surely, but Mother defeats Kali is rather an archetype.
That aside, you're keeping up the bloodshed quotient rather well. And, go Susan.
JBern replied:
An archetype that has transcended into a cliche, I would argue.
Anyway, thanks for the review. Sorry for the long delay in my reply. Chapter 39 will be up in a few days and we're only a couple of weeks from the conclusion.~Jim
rune1806 posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 1:38pm
polyjuiceed albus well done never seen that one, sunan offing an on fire lily genius! love darius killing molly, it will be fun to see how you kill melissa and her boy toy!!!
JBern replied:
I'm glad I can give you something you haven't seen before. Sorry for the tardy reply, it's been rather busy here. Chapter 39 is at final beta and should be up soon.~Jim
Fishburne posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 12:34pm
and having read it again, I have to say BOOYA!
I am really happy with how you have constructed this story. Darius is a mofo of the first order, Voldie is a believable Evil SOB, and heck, even Harry is likeable - definitely not a DH Harry, and for that I raise a glass of Port for you.
Of course, with the re-read, I also read the reviews and have to agree with Loggingin - the series is brilliant, and like port, and acquired taste all its own.
Fish
JBern replied:
A Fish doubleheader. Thanks for the second review.~Jim
Teaos posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 12:25pm
Finally someone killed Molly. She is by far my most hated character. Suitably gorry even if we didnt get it from her POV.
Nice to see Susan finally put some of her training to use. Is her foot all better now?
I'm looking foward to Hermione dieing next chapter. I hope it is suitably painful. Maybe being beaten to death with Hogwarts a history.
JBern replied:
Well I hope the fact that she was eaten alive by zombies made up for not doing it from her POV. Susan's foot is good enough. I'll see what I can do about Hermione, but there's an awful lot of people left to kill. Some might manage to get away...~Jim
dwilken posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 9:57am
Wow. You're actually winding things up. Even though I feel kinda dirty after each chapter, I'm glad you're finishing it instead of leaving the story hanging. That's very courteous of you.
Considering I'm wrong most of the time, I don't know why I keep trying to guess where your devious beady little mind is taking you but I can't resist - the deranged bait is too damned enticing. So. Are you saving Remus and Tonks for an even more horrible end? You couldn't just let them effing die and be done with it, could you?
And Harry is going to get Susan killed if he keeps acting like a solo act. I can see that coming too. Is your Harry going to completely lose it at that point and become "Dark Lord Potter"
Let's see. Arthur Weasley will snap and go on a vicious and destructive rampage in the next or last chapter. Well, he'll try to anyway, and I suppose he'll die horribly at the hands of Darius Longbottom, just to complete a horrible sense of symmetry in who killed who.
Will Bill Weasley survive or not? Have no idea where you're heading with him. Narcissa will make it. She may be an amoral conniving wench, but she's the consummate survivor. Still sexy, too. She'll drag Charlie with her.
Please off the little Ferret. ASAP. A very annoying literary construction he is.
Ron and Hermione. Kind of like they're existing only as "canon" fodder (sorry couldn't resist) waiting in the wings for your 'dead list'. But I like Hermione. Maybe she can wind up with Bill and help repopulate the British wizarding world.
Re Molly, I can see you find her canon character lacking, but I thought all along that this character of JKR's had once been a feisty young woman, nasty with a wand, who'd lost a lot of family members in horrible fashion to the wars. Something had finally 'snapped' in her when her brothers were killed, and she quit. Even Bill's werewolf injuries didn't bring her out of it. But when she lost Fred in DH and almost lost Ginny she "unsnapped", if you will. Oddly enough, I was expecting something like the killing Bellatrix scene.
On the other hand, your 'fanon' Molly was quite irritating and good riddance.
Your snippets of Rita are excellent, BTW. Again, kudos on your version of Voldemort.
Do keep writing. :)
JBern replied:
I can't stand an abandoned story. It's something I never want to do. I'm glad you feel dirty after each chapter. Maybe they'll survive, maybe they won't. Request for the Ferret to be put down is under consideration. It's with the requets to kill off pretty much everyone else.
Thanks for the massive review. It means alot for you folks to make the effort to leave both praise and criticism for my keystrokes.~Jim
LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 8:31am
I think I said it a few chapters ago, but I really (still) am glad this story is ending. A part of me feels like it's gone on a not insignificant number of chapters too long.
I can't fault the writing, the characterization, even the plot - all are excellent, and I even have to congratulate you for taking the extreme to the, err, extreme.
The "kill everyone" plot bunny was first introduced to me several years ago in a now-unfinished fic called "24 Hours to Live" by the author of HP & the Professor's Perils (Heather Sinclare?). I like the idea; it's interesting, it's visceral and it's damn bloody and fun in same shallow sense of slowing down to see the car wreck. Schadenfreude, I think it's called.
The reality of it, though, written with someone of your particular talents, is a far cry from that sense of "fun" I long ago imagined. In a backhanded way that's a compliment to how completely well you've pulled it off.
When I first started reading this story on FFN (was FFA even around then?), I couldn't wait for you to finish this fic - I wanted to read it in one fell swoop, soak up the carnage. :)
Perhaps the long periods of time between chapters is also why I can't still wait for this story to end, only now I want to be able to move on and read something else. The time between chapters makes it difficult to inure myself against the depths of seemingly endless, meaningless violence and darkness and loss that seeps into every aspect of this story.
I don't think Bungle is any less emotive, and in many ways it's not even any less dark or violent, but there's a hope there, however faint or fleeting that this story lacks. I don't know if that's intentional or even what my basis for that feeling is - the POV, characters or something else. I still feel that urge to read the next chapter of the Bungle sequel, even if it's not out yet, to see what happens next, whereas with this story I feel like I'm only still reading because after reading this far I'd damn well better fight on to the end.
For better or worse, I do not think that anyone who reads this story in a single sitting will get anywhere near the depth of dark feeling out of it as someone forced to sit and ponder the dark possibilities between chapters.
There is a congratulatory motive somewhere in this review. It's hiding, but the simple fact is that this is a masterpiece of writing, fanfic or otherwise. Few stories published in print or on the web have evoked this kind of response from me.
I can say for certain that I wouldn't pay for this particular kind of evocation, but that this is a superior piece of writing cannot be denied.
JBern replied:
Wow. Thanks for the massive review. Though, I"m not setting out to kill everyone, at least a few survive to the epilogue! Part of the problem is balancing 3 stories at on time. I'm going to do my best to prevent that from hapning again.
I appreciate the compliment buried in there. I wanted to write a darkly compelling story and I think it's succeeded. Bungle has a positive uptick that this one just can't match.~Jim
Fishburne posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 8:27am
HOLY CARP!
Molly is no more. Sad, truly. NOT!
You rock, and Darius is still a mean mofo.
Loved him schooling Davies, and such expression over a simple bowl of vanilla ice cream.
Oh yeah, whats with the idea of Dumbles channeling Harry if he is polyjuiced? interesting, but I doubt fate would allow it.
Glad to see Lily-Rev get hers/its.
Awesome chapter as always!
Fish
JBern replied:
I thought you'd like the ice cream scene. Dumbles could hope couldn't he! Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim
skulLXeon posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 8:15am
wow... and it gets even darker, doesn't it, Jim? at this point, i'm wondering how the hell Harry is planning or rather how much of a chance he has at beating Voldemort.....
but... the Veela joined him? are they using that one drug? or was it voluntary?
other than that... good job as usuall...
i'll enjoying watching how this plays out...
Adios for now...
and see you when you update...
JBern replied:
The Veela are only a few in number. More on that next chapter.~Jim
Erik Wiggins posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 7:19am
Jim, this had me thoroughly captivated. I can't wait for you to finish this story. It is awesome! How fascinating, Dumbledore taking PolyJuice potion and turning into Harry to fight Voldemort. Man this is sweet, as soon as you are done with the last chapter, I am going to read the whole thing over again so I can savor every minute! -Erik
JBern replied:
Thanks for the compliments. The whole story will hopefully make a good reread. I set out to make a darkly compelling story. I have the epilogue done and you'll find it much more interesting than a certain 19yrs later.~Jim
Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 6:32am
great chapter - loved the way Susan saved harry's tush.
Can't say that I will miss Molly greatly, between the love potion dispensing in canon and fanfics like Sunset over Britain and The Circle closes by Mad scientist she is not my favorite character.
This a great story, and i am looking forward to reading it all together when you finish it.
thanks for doing that - there are SO many excellent, but 1/2 or 3/4 done fics out there, not updated in months or years.
warm regards
JBern replied:
I've never been Molly's biggest fan. Canon Molly irks me and fanon Molly really irks me. Thanks for the compliments. I catch a lot of flack for not leaving this story and concentrating on TML or TLIL, but I abhor when authors abandon fics. Next chapter in 1 weeks.~Jim
slickrcbd posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 5:32am
Wow, this is definetly a gripping tale. With the direction the Ministry is going, I wouldn't be surprised if Harry winds up having to fight Scrimgeour after Voldemort falls. I can't see him recinding his dictatorship and restoring democracy once the big bad Dark Lord is dead. He'll say they need to round up all the Death Eaters, and then there will be another threat on the horizen. Probably in the form of the Dark Lord Harry Potter.
Still, it's a well written and gripping tale, with grim reality of the hell that war is.
JBern replied:
You make some very fine points about which way things might go. Stick around and see where they do go. I hope you will find the remaining chapters equally as compelling.~Jim
Jamey posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 4:43am
The problem I have with these kinds of stories is that - in the end - there's nothing left but the American wizards looking out over the ashes saying something to the effect of "And now the future moves on, unencumbered by the past."
Damn powerful story - I find myself unable to *not* read it. I just keep wishing for some happiness in the end. And I don't see it coming.
JBern replied:
I wanted to write a darly compelling story and in your case, it seems I have succeeded. Thanks for the compliment and you have my reassurance that it's almost over.~Jim
Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 4:34am
You are writing the most heartbreaking, depressing, demoralizing, grizzly Harry Potter story I've read.
It is very well written and extremely clever, but gutwrenching.
Well done!
(I now go look for a Pepper-Up potion and hope it works like an anti-depressant.)
JBern replied:
That's why I generally try and release on Fridays. It may be gutwrenching, but it's still heading into the weekend in real life, so no worries mon!~Jim
Darak1 posted a comment on Sunday 9th September 2007 3:50am
JBern replied: