Fenris Ulf posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 4:03am

Poor Molly she was always so delightfully overbearing. Did the weasleys do something bad to you in a past life? I think that family has been put through the wringer in this story.
I do love the blood shed in this story. The minister of magic seems to be taking things to far. When harry kills voldemort it seems like he's going to have other problems to deal with like a dictator for MoM... should say If harry kills voldemort you seem to like killing people :) Maybe Harry will die.
Can't wait for the next chapter

JBern replied:

Next chapter in 1 week.   I'm laying it out this afternoon and it is #1 on my priority list to get this story completed.   The Weasley's didn't do anything bad to me per se, it's just that in an effort to give you a believable wizarding war, you have to crack a few eggs to make that omlette.   Most of the ones I've grabbed so far are red, but you will notice that of the DOM six, only Harry, Hermione and Ron are left.   Yes, Rufus does seem to be taking things a bit far, or is it only just the beginning...?

Thanks for the review.~Jim

Crys posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 3:58am

Okay, Darius is psychotic and/or insane.

Hmm. Albus polyjuices into Harry. Tom seems to think that was some kind of preview of a trick. *frown* Don't see where that is going, but then you're the author.

Interesting fight scene. Don't quite get the fight outside, though. No matter.

> Perhaps father would let her keep him
*laugh* Hey, everyone needs a pet ferret, right? Nice to see such a thought directed towards Draco instead of by him.

I spotted that little issue, too (Susan seeing Lily). Nice to see Albus's mind isn't turning to mush.

Rita is still writing, unhappy as she is. Fine, but not sure why you added it. Unless it was mostly to indicate 4 weeks.

Narcissa, if you pulled him out against his will, he'd never forgive you.

Yes, Darius is psychotic . . . My, that would be poetic justice if Darius were killed by a vampire, wouldn't it?

Enthralling story, dark as it is.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   The PJ thing is basically a trick to Tom who sees it as Dumbledore trying to level the playing field so he can still compete against the likes of him.   My version of LV is a much more believable villain, but he still has his moments of megalomania!

I thought it would be funny having a pureblood slytherin witch toying with Draco.

The Rita scene was the best way I could find to pass a few weeks and give the reader a sense of what is happening in the Wizarding world.

Hmmm, interesting idea for Darius...

Thanks as always for the comments.~Jim

Yonexcannon posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 3:40am

I can't shake the feeling that Albus is setting Voldemort up by assuming Harry's form, and I am sure that the change in dueling style, somehow plays into it.

Hmmmm...

JBern replied:

It's a possibility, but it also might be true that Albus is really trying to kill Tom for the first time.   You'll see more next week in chapter 39... Thanks for the review.~Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 3:39am

Yeah, I can see what you mean about Molly and Bellatrix in canon, as I was like..."What was that?" and then JKR decides to kill off the last of Harry's old family. Darius, I can't wait to see him get his, and he might be wishing that he'd stayed a vampire before it's all said and done. Intense chapter here, and Susan does kick butt, which was great, and also looking forward to Tom's final push, along with Harry's strike, and the outcome of it all.

JBern replied:

Most of us are still scratching our heads over that one.   Thanks for the compliments on the intensity, hopefully next chapter it will continue to build and chapter 40 will be a gigantic rush.~Jim

uthamm posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 3:26am

HOLY SWEET HUFFELPUFF AVATAR OF JUSTICE! Nice. VERY nice. I love the image of the woman who loves Harry destroying the woman who should have loved him (do I detect a bit of a common thread between bungle and this story? I got the same feeling with the Daemon battle as when Susan came down the stairs - you rely on yourself and make your own luck). Sorry about the Weasleys, but I agree. Molly has not been shown to do much in the way of kicking ass, so it was a huge leap of imagination to visualize her killing Bella. I mean seriously, JKR even avoided the Snape/Harry battle with the VM killing cop out.
Again, you have entertained and impressed me. Will we get to see Harry kill Darius? Perhaps Darius owes him some magical life debt for not killing him originally?

JBern replied:

Glad you liked the image of Susan in this chapter, though I think it falls short of the Daemon battle.   Save your comparisson for the utter smack down I have in store for the final battle in chapter 40.   Thanks for the reveiw.~Jim

Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 3:20am

Oddly enough I didn't mind that end for Bellatrix - an enraged 'momma bear' is something to avoid at all costs. Still, I can see why you did that switch. (And thanks for sparing those two, even if it's only momentary - my personal annoyance with DH was that we didn't even see their deaths. No closure at all.

So. The second revenant has been destroyed. Endgame time, I suppose?

JBern replied:

The momma bear thing is so overdone.   I promise if I do off Remus and Tonks in the next two chapters it will be on screen and screaming.   Thanks for the review.   Chapter 39 in 1 week.   Yup, I'm jumping right into chapter 39.   I want to end this story before September is over.~Jim

DrT posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 3:14am

"he marveled at the savage Hufflepuff fury"

Despite how far Susan has come in this fic, it's still a strange sentence to read!

I also really disliked Molly throughout DH (I didn't like a whole of that book, in fact), but eaten alive? shudder

And Darius is going to long for the punishment Harry first handed out to him shold Harry catch up to him again.

"T"

JBern replied:

Actually, Kokopelli threw that line about Hufflepuff fury.   Credit goes to him, but I liked the line.

Yeah, zombie chow is kind of a bad way to go, but it sure ups Darius' evil henchman quotient doesn't it?

Jim

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 3:00am

Okay, I've just read the little scene with Moony & Tonks and my first thought was: "Oh, so is he going to kill one, or both?"

Wow, they both lived? I'm shocked. :-) And the revenant is dead. Way to go, Susan! One firmly hopes that Harry will be back to kicking ass and ignoring names in short order.

DD's polyjuice trick is pretty cute. I'd think that someone as close as possible to his own body size would work best, but the psychological impact may well out way that.

Molly's death... I guess doesn't bother me much. She's never been one of my favorites. I used to think that it was just the fanon Molly that was so compulsively controlling and annoying--then I read DH. :-)

Good chapter, thanks for sharing this with us.

JBern replied:

Yeah that was kind of a tease, keeping the reader guessing what character I was going to off and springing Molly there at the end.

Part of Dumbledore really hopes that fighting in Harry's body might give him a shot at killing Tom, but then again, Hope is a four letter word...~Jim

john2 posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 2:57am

Last stands were terribly overrated and seldom lived up to they hype.

The "they" should be "the."

J

JBern replied:

Just goes to show that I shouldn't go making last minute changes and deciding that I don't need to send it back to you for such a little change.   Thanks for the catch, it's fixed.~Jim

DiscountNinja posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 2:39am

I know, I couldn't stand Molly killing Bella - I mean, wtf?

Anyways, have you actually confirmed that Molly is dead then?

JBern replied:

Zombie chow.   It's what all the zombies are eating these days. :-)

Jim

Fenris Ulf posted a comment on Tuesday 4th September 2007 3:09am

That's not nice leaving me like this! Lily is coming to get Harry thats just not right. This story is definately a plausible AU and feels alot like a good war story with all the intricate plots and subplots that combine in unexpected ways. Enemies at everygate the good turning bad the bad turning good (even if only temporarily). Does this mean she's Pansy Longbottom now?


Rob

JBern replied:

Well now chapter 38 is up.   You're no longer hanging there.   You're hanging somewhere else.   See isn't that better?   I've done the best job that I could presenting a realistic and brutal version of a wizarding war.   Technically, in light of no other heirs to the Longbottom lands and monies, Pansy can claim that the use of the necklace and the consumation of the relationship costituted a binding marital agreement.   Assuming she lives, she should be able to collect without the ugliness of changing her name.~Jim

Fenris Ulf posted a comment on Tuesday 4th September 2007 1:46am

Wow so Neville finally went off the deep end. You have to feel sorry for him in a way as so many outside influences played into this story. Bet Harry is going to feel bad about leaving his uncle alive.

Rob

JBern replied:

Yup.   You guessed it.   After chapter 38, Harry's probably going to feel a lot worse.~Jim

Wolfric posted a comment on Wednesday 29th August 2007 3:26pm

Fine chapter. I'm interested to see this story come to its conclusion. It seems a bit odd to me that Voldemort would exhaust himself for the limited stategic advantage he gets from reanimating Coedus. Though I suppose it feeds his mystique. Thanks for writing. W.

JBern replied:

Thank you for your review.   With only three chapters and the epilogue left, I hope to pull out all the stops and give the story the ending that it truly deserves, one that you the readers can really appreciate.   As for Voldemort, one can never know what his motivations truly are, at least at the moment.   More on that coming soon.   ~Jim

bgoldnyxnet posted a comment on Wednesday 29th August 2007 6:33am

Re: authors notes --

Why aren't there wizarding armies? JKR doesn't give a reason, but you might want to consider reading some of the earlier Darkover books by Marion Zimmer Bradley, which explain why their psi powers ("laran") aren't used for war.

Why the unrealistic monetary system? Because JKR wanted it that way. But if you do some research, you will find that there _are_ a few countries that have a prime number of smaller monetary units in a larger unit (and no, I don't mean 2, 3, or 5).

The Mega Millions jackpot -- I don't know if the Grangers could "buy the ministry", but they would definitely acquire some influence if Hermione cared to use it that way.

7 galleons for a wand -- keep in mind that galleons are made of gold. If a galleon weighs 1 ounce, it will be about the size of a quarter and worth over $650 (as of 8/29/2007). Also, the wizarding world seems to resemble a much older version of our world. If you read Regency romance novels, you will see that in the late 1700s an income of 800 pounds sterling was a "competence", enough for a genteel but unfashionable living -- a companion, a cook, a butler, a housekeeper, a small house in a good but not fashionable part of London, an occasional trip to the countryside or perhaps to Bath (again, staying in a 2nd rank hotel).

That would work out to about US$4000/year from after the Revolution to the early 1900s, I think.

IOW, 7 galleons is a non-trivial amount of money. Over $5000 in today's money, and money probably buys more in the wizarding world than it does here. My guess is that Arthur Weasley probably earns less than 10 galleons a month in his job at the ministry, and has managed to raise a family of 7 in a somewhat overcrowded house on that -- including sending all of them to Hogwarts, with all the expenses involved -- tuition, books, robes, wands, etc.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the long review.   It was just another sign to me when I wrote this chapter notes that JKR didn't realize that she had the next thing on her hands.   I wonder if she ever laughed at how much time all of us spend discussing the merits of her work.

Regards,
Jim

00_Knight posted a comment on Monday 27th August 2007 12:57pm

Its getting to the quick now isn't it? This is turning out to be a truly masterfull DARK themed story, where as your other story Bungle in the Jungle was a story of betrayal and Harry becoming a Kick Ass warding protoge of Bill Weasly!

Still this story remains excellent, which is not to say that it never was excellent... Ah the whole I find myself digging...

Keep up the good work, I find the part about Narrcissa playing the "ally of the light" to use her son to force a battle to end the war a striking plan that earns top marks... regardless of Her true loyalties!

JBern replied:

With only three chapters and the epilogue left, I hope to pull out all the stops and give the story the ending that it truly deserves.   One of the really cool things about the story is that I actually had a lot of people rooting for Narcissa.   How cool is that?

Jim

Kinsfire posted a comment on Monday 27th August 2007 4:28am

The problem that I see with this story is that Harry simply cannot win in the long run. Yes, he may actually get lucky and defeat the tactical genius that is Voldemort, but he's shown no real sense that he's got what it takes.

Even if he wins against Voldie, the Ministry wins, and since it's now a dictatorship with Scrimgeour at the reins, he'll find some reason to keep martial law going. If Harry shows enough power, then they'll find a reason to have him executed, and likely kill Susan as well, placing the triplets with a "proper" family.

This can't end well for the 'good guys', especially since Harry is fighting a war on at least two fronts, if not more. Voldemort (through Lily), and at the school. He's also fighting the Ministry (and how many of the confiscated items "accidentally" ended up in Pansy's hands?).

The Dark will win the day in this one, even if everything else goes right. Voldemort will have permanently destroyed Harry's good memories of his mother, and Susan simply isn't strong enough to keep Harry on the side of Light.

This, of course, is merely my take on what I've been reading. You're good enough to be able to prove me wrong - believably - on all counts.

JBern replied:

I don't  necessarily know that's a problem Keith.   I'm practicing with my Dragon NaturallySpeaking by responding to all the reviews at a funny because when I said your name it comes out as the word chief and I manually have to enter it.

The story itself has only three more chapters plus the half written epilogue to go.   So you will see where I'm ending it hopefully by the end of September.   I think you'll enjoy what I have in mind and even if you don't enjoy it you least appreciate it.

Regards,

Jim

rune1806 posted a comment on Saturday 25th August 2007 6:44am

you are doing a good job of filing out the people in the story, love the twist with frank!! It is a joy to read the way you are writing albus, we all get old, slow and lose some of what we had in our youth well done. I love the idea that mother and son are going to try to play both sides againsted each other to try and come out on top,people are not just black or white but some of both.

JBern replied:

One of the best parts about Chapter 37 was writing Dumbledore as he pondered his failings.   Dumbledore is a tough character to write either ends up being a manipulative a-hole or a senile old fool.   Trying to find the real human being beneath, it's a real challenge.   Honestly, I think the only thing harder character to write in the HP universe is Luna.~Jim

atlantis-rob posted a comment on Friday 24th August 2007 11:00pm

Argh, man you make it tough on poor ole harry. But good work with all the move forwards, interesting revelations with narcissa and draco. But very good. What a mess frickin neville caused though....jeez. Cheers!!

JBern replied:

Would you really want it to be that easy for Harry?   Only three more chapters and an epilogue and the story is gone!   I hope you continue to enjoy.~Jim

Mark Blaine posted a comment on Friday 24th August 2007 10:25am

Good work. Is Sissy actually playing the Light, playing Draco, or both. Poor Neville, stabbed to death by Malfoy.

JBern replied:

That's a really good question, stick  around and you'll have your answer.~Jim

MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 1:20pm

Lily is going to make another bad day for Harry.

MPF

JBern replied:

Harry does seem to have more than his fair share of bad days doesn't he?   I hope you continue to enjoy.~Jim