rodrigo2 posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 8:05am

Great chapter. Hope you update the story soon.

JBern replied:

Next update is coming soon.   I hope you continue to enjoy.

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 1:59am

Wow! Was that ever superb. Absolutely amazing, from the article by Skeeter and the corresponding censorship to the foreboding end of a Demon like Lilly Potter possibly rampaging through Hogwarts.

One interesting fact was how interesting your Voldemort is. I've said this before and I probably will again. So many Fanfic authors portray him as an evil monster with no real apparent brains and just happy to crucio all his followers. Yours makes deals, and follows up on promises. The deal with Coedus and turning him back into Darius Longbottom was great was great. He seems like the most feared Dark Wizard in a century, because he is both powerful and cunning as well gifted in his intelligence.

I know your not a fan of DH but at the same time I think that showed a different side to Voldemort as well, in that he went hunting for the Elder Wand himself. He checked his Horcruxes rather than send a minion to do it. I think thats a really great way of portraying him.

The tension in the scene at the end was superb and the way everything broke out. I also loved the duel with Dumbledore. I liked how you wrote it form Dumble's perspective and how you showed his thoughts and tactics.

The stuff with Narcissa plotting with Draco was interesting. I'm wondering how much she actually plans to follow through on that. Especially the way she presented it, as I don't see Charlie Weasley going along with that very easily.

Also, it was very refreshing to see how Harry planned to honour George in naming his child. Truly a great idea, especially for the sentiment it expresses in your very dark story. It is another thing that defies fannon convention as most have him naming one for his father, mother, Sirius and often old Albus.

As ever, thanks for writing. I look forward to more with anxiously bated breath.

Monkey

JBern replied:

Thanks always for your review.   I'm glad you appreciate my version of Voldemort.   And you're right, I still can't stand the seventh book.   However, we don't need to go into that here!

As for Narcissa, you'll just have to hang around and see what she's up to.   Like I told another reviewer, one of the coolest parts about this story is that I actually have people rooting for Narcissa.

Regards,
Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 12:32am

Ouch, if they're turning up Rita then things can only get nastier. Loved that article and the whole "Potter is evil" rants. Oh ye gods, that ending is mean! Good to see this drawing to such a satisfying conclusion as we approach the extremely dark end. Excellent chapter. More please.

JBern replied:

Next chapter is coming soon and hopefully the entire story will be concluded by the end of September.   I think you will enjoy what I have in my.
Regards,
Jim

fraupapst posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 9:01pm

I'm looking forward to what Rita is going to do about her muzzle. Somehow, I can't see Scrimgeour being happy with her in the end;-)

Dumbledore's self-doubts were really touching, I felt really sorry for him. He's going to die fighting in your story, isn't he?

This chapter has a feel of near finality. Everything seems to be in place for the final confrontations now.

JBern replied:

Writing both Dumbledore and  Rita this chapter were personal highlights for me.   We are not quite at final confrontation   phase, but we are getting very close.   I hope you continue to enjoy.
Regards,
Jim

skulLXeon posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 8:30pm

damn... things are definitely getting worse. But i'm wondering, why'd Harry just "allow" his books to be confiscated just cause they were restricted, i'd say he shouldn't have given a damn about what the wizengamot said and stashed them in the room of requirement... but eh... its all good...
good chapter after all....
and i hope that the end is near for all Death Eater lackeys... including that Caruthers girl....
she should've gotten smoked by Neville but eh...
lol... good work and adios for now... =D

AGX

JBern replied:

In part of this case, it wasn't that the books were restricted, it was that they were illegal.   End is near basically for the entire story and not just all the death eater lackeys.   I hope you continue to enjoy.
Regards,
Jim

Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 6:59pm

Sliding towards a totalirian (sp?) state. The fact that Rita's new "boss" is one of her former victims is only icing on that particular cake. Nice touch.

How ironic that Malfoy is lauded the hero after shooting the two aurors in the back. No repercussions from that little detail?

Cissy's action is kinda surprising. Unless she has a hidden agenda, which is hardly unbelievable.

Moe, Larry, and Curly? *amused smirk*

> "Albus? Sorry, bad joke, but not much worse than your three Muggle comedians."
> "Oi, that’s a horrible name! Right up there with Severus?
*laugh* Gee, I wonder if you're picking fun at something in particular with THAT line!

Harry vetoes "Sirius", but doesn't give a reason, really. Just out of curiosity, is there reasoning behind not doing that, or just a "don't want to follow the obvious name"?

Loved the tactical analysis from inside AD's head. His feelings of inadequacy (to the situation in general) give him a dimension of humanity. Nice to see Harry isn't superman as of yet. AD had him beat until he pulled out a trick.

*nod* Good to have that fight break out. Picking Dean makes sense. For multiple reasons, he almost has to fall to Nev's side.

Oooh, so we're going to actually have Lily show up this time? And the way it was presented, Tonks is clearly going to have some serious guilt issues before it's all over.

Liked how you've portrayed Tonks, BTW. Loyal bodyguard.

Good stuff.

JBern replied:

I just couldn't resist a poke at book 7.   I'm glad you appreciate all little details in the story.   As for Malfoy, in the heat of battle I'm sure those two wizards weren't sure who hit them.  

Anyway, Narcissa is always looking out for number one, so that  should not surprise you.   As very dark story, it is difficult but I tried to interject if he were here and there.
Regards,
Jim

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 2:52pm

A couple of edit fixes:

"Give me a moment to thing this through." thing -> think

"Well, three hours is more than you’ve been usually been getting." One 'been' should go, I figure.

Well, hopefully Harry can kill his Mum and be done with that. I feel as frustrated with it as he does. :-)

Thanks for sharing this with us.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the corrections.   I've eiter made them are ready or have added them to my list of what needs to be fixed when I finally finished the story.   With only three chapters in the epilogue left, I hope to pull out all the stops and really give the story the ending that it deserves.   Hope you continue to enjoy.
Regards,
Jim

noylj posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 2:35pm

Lily Potter?? What NOW? too bad Nev couldn't have taken out ferret. Now, if someone would just start taking out real DEs, the WW might have a chance.

JBern replied:

What now is a big battle trust me you won't want to miss it!
Regards,
Jim

dwilken posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 12:50pm

Brrrrr..........
But Ye Gods, I love your Voldemort character!

JBern replied:

And I love writing Voldemort!
Jim

Black Dragon Knight posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:22am

You did a nice job with Skeeter in the beginning, and the Ministry B.S.. The Ministry trying to put it's spin on things, trying to paint a bright picture on a dim setting.

This chapter was a good setup for the final act to come. I'm really interested in seeing how everything you've created in this story, and it is a lot, finally wraps up.

JBern replied:

Flee the entire story will be completed by the end of September.   With any luck, you will have to wait very long.

Jim

jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:01am

Outstanding chapter!!!! I can't wait to read what happens in the next chapter. Wow so Voldemort finally sent Lily out to attempt to kill Harry but will he fail or succeed, my guess is he will fail because Voldemort is stupid like that. I do love the entire thing about the pity fuck and how Lily was the one to bring it up but I don't think it was but thats just me. Do keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)

JBern replied:

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, next chapter is coming soon and hopefully the entire story will be completed by the end of September.

Jim

joeBob posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:00am

Thanks for the update.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   I hope you continue to enjoy.
Jim

Fishburne posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 10:33am

HOLY CARP ON A POLE!

No one Dead? Can this be?

Oh wait, its got to be one of those things that let you catch your breath before being tossed back into the fire...

Ummm...what are those things called...

Excellent chapter, and thank goodness that Coedus is alive and well again, and gee, your hair smells terrific.


Fish

JBern replied:

Technically, Voldemort mentioned several raids against Ministry targets.   If it makes you feel better, several people died there...

Does my hair smell terrific?   I'm considering switching shampoo brands.

Jim

LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 9:22am

Something's wrong. No one died this chapter - Frank doesn't really count - are you okay?

JBern replied:

They were out of virtual body bags.   I needed to restock.~Jim

warpwizard posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 9:17am

As nasty as ever. Good stuff.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Next chapter coming soon.   Send for some e-body bags!~Jim

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 8:33am

This story continues to amaze and entertain. The darker and much more realistic way you have woven the many subplots has been incredible to read. I especially love the way you turned Harry's greatest strength, his mothers love and the memory of her sacrifice, into his greatest weakness and challenge was inspired. I look forward with great relish to the coming battle.

JBern replied:

I think when I'm finally finished with this beast it'll be a good read, though probably not one that people reread often.   Even people who say they like dark story say this is a bit disturbing.   Thank you for the compliments.~Jim

whatareyouevensaying posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 8:26am

Excellent update, as always. I loved your brief perspective on Dumbledore, and the ending with Lily promises a great deal of chaos in the next chapter.

It's a shame about Narcissa. She may love Charlie, but now it's clear that she can't come away without some new scars, at the very least. Draco is hopefully mincemeat. Another character that I'm rooting against (obviously) is Rita Skeeter.

I'd submit a longer and better review, but I have to leave for work. Thanks for putting so much effort into each chapter, you do fantastic work.

JBern replied:

Cissy didn't get where she is by not looking out for number 1.   As Dr. Phil says, the best predictor of future actions is past behavior.

Glad you enjoy the story - get to work ya bum!

Jim

DiscountNinja posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 7:57am

Nice - I like Dumbledore, people try and write him as human and faible ... but no one really does it like you :) no one else seems to be able to capture that he has insecurities too ... I really like what you've done with him =D

JBern replied:

He's had a rough go of it this story and rightfully so all the deaths should affect him.   Thanks for the compliments.   Next chapter sooner rather than later.~Jim

Yonexcannon posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 7:06am

Once again I really enjoyed the chapter. The only exception that I take to the chapter is the confiscation of Harry's books.

If he is a licensed hitwizard authorized to possess a second wand and dragon hide armor, I would think that he would have a special dispensation to have/possess certain books.

JBern replied:

They didn't really cover that dispensation and it would have been a grossly unpopular move at that point, better to remove the darkest books and nastiest artifacts. Hope that makes sense.~Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 7:00am

Wonderful part here, and liked how Narcissa is playing things, as well as Draco's reactions, and Harry and his trials, both mental and physical, got to say about Pansy, she'd have big brass ones if she were male, and still does, just in a different part of the female.

JBern replied:

Personally, I liked Draco's head being used for a door knocker, but that's just me.   So far you're the only person to comment about Pansy making sure she got hers.   Glad you liked it.~Jim