Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 8:05pm

I still find Narcissa bizarre but so very fun. The interaction between her and Charlie is very amusing.

No way would a reporter like Rita ever pass up an opportunity like that. The Dark Lord's manifesto was superb for the simple reason that it made Voldemort a believable leader. None of this "You did good work. Crucio!" business that would surely have a Malfoy running for his wand. All these Death Eaters must have a reason for following Voldemort other than masochism and you provided it.

JBern replied:

Well now that chapter 33 is up you'll be shocked by Narcissa's next interactions.   (If MonkeyAxman gave you the unedited not toned down piece, you'll probably be very shocked!)

Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 7:33pm

Ron's advice was surprisingly good and insightful. Nice to see him written as something other than an insensitive blockhead for once.

I've been wondering how Fred would cope without George. As cruel as it sounds, he must sometimes wish he died with him. Loved the Chicken Dance.

Did Neville actually just kill him? I'm shocked, just as he was finally getting some characterisation!

JBern replied:

You do realize that the chicken dance is evil and must be stopped.

Yeah, too bad about Goyle... not really, but his death was interesting.

I think that one of the things that stand out in this story is the deaths are interesting.   People die violently and memorably.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 9:52am

Oh Bill, you poor boy, that was brilliant. I loved the mummification ritual. I was wondering if he was at Aimee's.

Ah. Now I'm worried as I'm still not 100% on this whole baby thing but if it stops Harry from going dark then I'm for it.

Sorry, I seem to be more critical of this but please take it in the spirit it is given. I love all your work but I just think Bungle is stronger and more enjoyable than this one. Still a fantastic story, but Susan is just a bit colourless compared to Luna (though who isn't?).

JBern replied:

Well, Bill loves his Mummy!!!!!!   Sorry bad joke.       Bungle is a stronger story, but I still love writing this one anyway.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 9:41am

Forgot to mention before: Dobby would definitely want to go that way but how cruel was his death! No body to mourn. Er, slight problem there: you had Susan throwing up at the smell of Kreacher's corpse in Grimmauld Place. Why didn't he fade away?

Excellent Snape death scene. Fantastic chapter.

JBern replied:

I'll reply to this one first since you ask the question about Dobby and Kreacher.   Kreacher wanted to be found and his head mounted on the wall.   He was a disturbed little elf.   Dobby didn't.   Hope that clarifies things.   Thanks for all the reviews.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 9:31am

Wow. Not sure Fleur could have lived with herself after that but still. Wow. Amazing chapter. You do have a slight double standard when it comes to Susan and Ginny standing up to Harry when he's going nuts but oh well. With such wonderful action scenes, I can forgive such minor foibles.

JBern replied:

I still can't believe I'm this far behind on review replies.   I'm ashamed.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 8:52am

Harry's plan worked brilliantly. Love the casual way you dispatched Lucius. The Weasley-Abbot blood feud would, I think, be won by the Weasleys by sheer strength of numbers if nothing else. Plus Hysterical Hannah wouldn't have been much good. Oh dear, I suspect the Abbots have just started more than one blood feud. Idiots, no wonder Hufflepuff has such a reputation for being inferior!

JBern replied:

Sometimes deaths like Lucius' need to be sudden and over in an instant.   It adds to the atmosphere of the story.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 8:29am

The manticore made more sense of Hagrid's kamikaze move against Voldy, but yet I suspect he would have done it even if he'd been in full health. Giggled over the subtle twist on the Goblet of Fire badges. That change of prophecy was brilliant. I would be screaming in rage if I didn't have more chapters waiting for me at that cliffhanger. Nice to see Viktor isn't evil for once (so bored of that). Loved Harry's dark idea too, maybe he's more like his Mum than anyone thought.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Wow, I've been delinquent on these replies.   Lots of catching up to do...

Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 7:45am

Good grief. That was the single greatest Hagrid death scene I've ever read. In a lot of Azkaban fics, Harry is supposed to have killed him off (how? He's a half-giant for goodness sake) and in other stories it's very much a case of Hagrid dying in the final battle under vague circumstances. This was excellent because the fight scene was visceral and tough, with Albus's lost arm made insignificant but Hagrid's heroic death. The way you had Hagrid take down Voldy that way was superb. This fic was a little slow in terms of action (sorry, but Bungle just got there so much faster!) and now it's really flying.

JBern replied:

Normally Hagrid's a liability in most stories.   I wanted to give the reader something more - a feeling of 'Hell yeah!   Now that's what I'm talking about!' Hopefully this fight scene and several others have delivered that.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 6:09am

The loss of Susan's foot was brilliantly calculated to shock. Reminds me of Harry's leg problems in the Bobmin fics. It amuses me so much that the very anti-magic Catholic church is aware of the magical world.

JBern replied:

Well, I also wanted to do a riff on 'Magical ER' too bad I wasn't a fan of 'House' back then or I would have written the healer a bit differently....

I'm surprised I didn't get more crap over using the Church in the story.   I know a bunch of people gave Draco664 a ration of it for his fine story.   Oh well the grittiness of this story must have driven them off a long time ago.

Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 5:56am

Jeez, poor Luna! I almost want to say "poor Marcus!" but can't bring myself to it. Superb chapter. You're so good at these action scenes.

JBern replied:

Thanks!~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 5:43am

Wow. Loved your imagining of how Fenrir Greyback came into being. Also adored how you mentioned Voldemort in the back of Quirrell's head during staff meetings. Horrified as I am at the carnage (noo! You killed them all! It's just not fair! etc.), it's refreshing to read Voldemort killing people in Diagon Alley not just yelling "Crucio!" at his own Death Eaters. You've definitely achieved a meaty villain. Poor Luna!

JBern replied:

Voldy had to get to the top by gettin his hands dirty.   War is seldom fair, but thanks anyway.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 5:01am

Loved the Hermione shit line. One of my few criticisms of this fic, other than the relationship between Harry and Susan felt a bit rushed, is that it lacks the black humour of your other stories. The more humour, however black you want it to be, the more enjoyable the story as it gives a bit of a reprieve from the constant bickering.

The final revelation was absolutely superb. Loved this chapter. You write Dark!Penelope really well.

JBern replied:

It's hard to force such humor into a story.   I try in parts, but I freely admit that I am no Nonjon by any stretch of the imagination.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 1:52am

Loved the Peter stuff and Voldie's view of it.

A moment of low-level ranting, if you'll excuse me: You have a pet peeve about Saint Lily. I have a pet peeve about authors changing the names - Harry is not Harold (if he was, wouldn't everything addressed to Harry James Potter be to Harold James?) Also Petunia would surely have preferred it as sounding less common. Can't say about his parents, but at a guess if you call one daughter Petunia you probably called the other Lily not Lillian.

Adored the bit about Voldemort and the unicorns - the dementor part was particularly clever.

As to the very different version of Saint Lily, I think I'll just have to go look at your discussion thread. It made sense but I don't think it truly fits within canon. Surely that would basically be a really, really dark spell?

JBern replied:

Oops.   I'll add the Lillian thing to my list of errata.~Jim

grey_shadow_horse posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 1:48am

I enjoyed reading this fic so far and I look forwards to read more. You write a very realistic harry/susan ship :) nice work

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliments.   I'll be writing more soon.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 1:29am

Reading this through again, I find myself far fonder of Narcissa than I ever thought I could be. Not completely convinced of your interpretation of Ginny - I think nearly being killed by the spirit of the greatest Dark Lord of the 20th century who was possessing your body at the time is considered hardship - but then if she was too likeable we could hardly have a Harry / Susan romance. Excellent story thus far.

JBern replied:

Agreed on the Ginny part, with romance only being a secondary focus of the story I wanted to make it easy by making Ginny not really that likeable.~Jim

Patches posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 5:57pm

Very good. I like the way all the intersecting stories relate to each other. I am a little concerned about Coedus. Is he going to betray them to Voldemort? Is he keeping his options open? What is his real adgenda? I'm so glad Narcissa and Charlie survived and Dolohov didn't. He was a nasty piece of work. Thank you for writing. pms

JBern replied:

We're all a little concerned about Unca Coedus...

More on Charlie's fate next chapter...

Thanks for reviewing.~Jim

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 1:25pm

An interesting chapter with movement on all fronts. I will admit to more than a spot of concern with Voldemort's choice of targets, they don't seem to bode well for the "good guys". On the positive side, you have the good news the tapestry gives Susan and Narcissa - I hope Harcissa and Charlie make it through to enjoy their first chile and have more.

JBern replied:

Some commented that Harry didn't do enough, but I realize the constraints he is under.   He will be 'doing' something next chapter.~Jim

red jacobson1 posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 8:37am

well; this has been one hell of a ride! I started with the first chapter yesterday and finished just now. You are really tough on the characters aren't you? Poor Luna; she really didn't get a chance to do much in this story *GRIN*

I have to say; Neville is really starting to scare me; he's gotten a wee bit too intense over the summer.

Red

JBern replied:

Wow, thanks for the marathon read.   I try and make it up to Luna in my other story by giving her a featured role.   Glad you enjoyed it and check back soon for more fun and games.~Jim

fraupapst posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 3:23am

This story is amazing.

I'm a huge fan of Harry/Susan, probably cause it's perfect to develop the characters in a new way without resorting to stupid ships (like the majority of slash stories) or female-friend-bashing.

Apart from the very satisfying shipping-situation, it's mainly the utterly terrific fighting scenes that got me hooked. They're excellent.

You seem to get some grief over the much violence, but I think you got the death toll about right. From what is implied but not spelled out about the Wizarding World and the first war in canon, that's how I'd imagine it could happen - if there were two sides fighting.

Very scary and a really good idea is your take on Neville. I don't think I've ever read a story where he snaps and gets sneakily evil. Do you want him to replace Umbridge one day - liability-wise?

JBern replied:

Glad you like the ship and that you appreciate 'realistic' mayhem and violence.   I take a good deal of pride in making my fight scenes as impressive as I can deliver.   As for Neville, well....

Jim

Blackstone4005 posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 8:15pm

WOW! There was an awful lot of wonderful action here. Thanks for another great read.

I especially loved the trip into Gileroy's thoughts. Too bad about Luna tho.

Way to go Harry...I'll see your Weasley twins and raise you one. Fertile indeed.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you enjoyed it.   I'm on vacation next week, so I don't know if I'll really get started on the next chapter, but when I get back look out...

Jim