By JBern
Reviews
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Sunday 18th February 2007 8:40am
BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!! Wow Neville is turning out to be just as bad as any one of the Death Eaters. Voldemort is as dumb as he always is with his attempting to set up Harry and Scumgouger, which if its like any of his other half baked ideas will fail misreably. I can't wait to see what happens next. DO keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. I think Voldy's a bit smarter than you give him credit for... Next chapter might have a bit of a surprise in store for you.~Jim
duke_bonez posted a comment on Sunday 18th February 2007 12:56am
Now Bessie on friday, when we have sushi night, I want you to prepare a blowfish for Messrs Crabbe and Nott. Mind that you prepare wrong, we wouldn't want to them to live to enjoy now would we? Bwahahahaha! Oh and put a scorpion into Daphne's slippers!
Dear Goblin Council,
I find your lack of faith disturbing. You should know better than to back out of a deal with a Malfoy, especially one who is now a Black. Due to this unfortunate breach of contract, I am forced to invoke clause 47 of the Goblin Wizard Agreement of 1642.
Sincerely,
Narcissa Malfoy-Black
P.S. please find attached Snapjaw's head. He didn't have any more use for it.
...errr...Right. Great chapter even if a lot of it did seem to be in preparation for chapters down the line. I do wonder where Charlie & Narcissa are headed. Nice touch adding Tonk's doing her bodyguarding duties. It always makes me wonder when Harry gets a bodyguard and then ends up protecting them. The only other thing I want to say Neville's misdirection? Perfect.
JBern replied:
Funny. Good stuff. You'll have to wait and see with Neville. Charlie and Cissy are headed somewhere. Glad you continue to enjoy the story.~JIm
Patches posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 8:58pm
This is a great story. It is deffinitely dark. I can see by you have it on the DarkPotter list.
I never imagined a dark Neville. That is a new one for me. I can see how that could happen to someone like Neville. It looks like Ginny will be helping Neville at some point or will she come by her information by accident? I am glad Harry Susan's handfasting went well. That was a good set of crosscutting between the reception and Chaarlie and Narcissa's little episode. That was an interesting interlude with the Baron and Draco. I thought it was a good touch when you had Draco more upset about Snape's death than he was about his father's. A lot of intesting plots running together. Thank you so much for writing. I am really enjoying Bungle in the Jungle and The Lie I have lived also. I really like your style! pms
JBern replied:
Thank you very much for the review. I hope you continue to enjoy my various works. Next chapter coming soon.~Jim
Lufio posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 6:13pm
Huh. Plans, plans, plans all around. Everyone has a plan of their own. And each person is planning out how to work their plans around/with other people's plans.
I hope you can keep all of this straight.
JBern replied:
Everyone's got a plan. Some will work and some won't.~Jim
jamesf posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 5:23pm
I really liked the sorting hat song it is one of the best I have read. The rhyming was amazing. I like the way harry is taking so long to recover its realistic and the darkening turn in the story is great.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Hopefully that is my only Sorting Hat Song ever. Though my new story's Sorting Hat could probably produce a song like no other...
Jim
uthamm posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 4:54pm
Good chapter. Can't wait to see the fallout of the goblin betrayal. Looks like Neville is falling into the abyss - is there a reason that he gets so much 'screen time' this chapter? Also wondering if Harry will be grateful to VM for the revenge on Umbridge . . The piece with Cho was interesting as well. More than a bit part for her, eh?
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. You'll have to wait and see where this is going.~Jim
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 2:36pm
Oh, this is getting more convoluted, I love it!! It'll be interesting to see what information Narcissa manages to extract from that goblin. 'Tch, stupid goblin really should've realized that you don't antagonize a strong survivor, and Narcissa is definitely that.
For some reason, I can feel too sorry for Cho Chang's pondering, she needs to make her prioritues and stick with them - and the first has to be survival.
JBern replied:
Well remember. Some people won't be convinced that the 'War' can happen to them until it shows up on their doorstep. Glad you like the confusion and chaos. More to come.~Jim
MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 11:42am
I'm becoming ever more fond of DarkGardener!Neville!
JBern replied:
And they say gardening is good for the soul...~Jim
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 9:09am
A transitory chapter, it appears.
Neville scheming, LV scheming, and Harry still reeling for the most part.
Still, a nice chapter. Thanks for sharing it with us.
JBern replied:
Yes sometimes a transitory chapter is needed. Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim
Sean Dillon posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 8:57am
Not sure where you're going with Bessie. If another nibbler died due to say kraken poisoning, as an elf bound to Hogwarts wouldn't she be under conflicting orders if Neville's got her helping maintain kraken in greenhouse nine?
Will Ginny go after Hannah and the kid sister for a bit of payback (nothing lethal) or allow Neville to dictate the targets?
sean
read the other reviews and responses - I like Bungle a bit more than this one also.
JBern replied:
Neville should be diabolical enough to control the elf. Otherwise wouldn't all the house elves have been able to tell them about the Basilisk.~Jim
Fishburne posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 7:15am
"I’m here to raise awareness about speech impediments. As you seem to have one, I thought we should have a discussion."
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
And coming from good old moldy Voldie!
You, sir, are too much.
Fanboy timer reset to 20 minutes.
GO YOU!
Fish
Listening to my daughters ipod is like aural sodomy
JBern replied:
It was a tip of the hat to Shezza88's story Resistance of Azkaban. His version of Harry says something to that effect.
Glad you enjoyed the story and for the increased time on the fanboy meter. Sorry about the daughter's ipod...
Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 6:46am
Good chapter. I always look forward to a new chapter in any of your stories. Thanks. W.
JBern replied:
Thanks. I'm glad you are enjoying the story.~Jim
loralee posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 6:21am
I almost felt sorry for old voldy having to deal with her toadiness. Very much an eeewwww! moment when she's trying to bargin for her life. lol
I still feel sorry for Neville even though he is scaring me. I have a feeling he won't recover from this 'weeding' road even if he survives the war.
Scene with Flitwick was very nice.
Good job
JBern replied:
Well gardening can change you....
Glad you liked the scene with Flitwick. I thought it humanized him.~Jim
PerfesserN posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 4:07am
Cold, calculating reptilian Nevil, at what point will it jump up and bite him on the arse? Or will it?
Tune in again next month. . .
JBern replied:
Thanks. Hopefully it will only be 3 weeks.~Jim
Gardengirl posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 3:40am
I have to say that I like this the best of your current three. I'm itching to see how the new ruthless Neville will play out; will he keep his humanity or devolve into what he hates? I'm tickled that Fudge and Umbridge are getting offed, and curious to find out what the fallout will be for Harry. Thanks for the update!
JBern replied:
Honestly, I prefer Bungle. My other one is too early to really make a judgement on. Still this one is more 'epic' as it were. Neville, well you'll have to wait and see. More accidents are coming.~Jim
DrT posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 3:26am
"There’s not been a death on the train since the Pureblood riots of 1822"
The Hogwarts Express preceeded Muggle commercial railways? (Not to mention the building of the station by more than 30 years, but of course, they could always add Platform 9 3/4 later)
I must say, I am impressed with the 'purge' idea. That should sow some wild rumors!
"T"
JBern replied:
Holy crap! I didn't even consider that. I'll have to consider changing that to say 1876. Still it could have been some kind of magical construct that was only modified to look like a train. Before it could have looked much different. Glad you like the intrigue of the story and that even after 30 chapters it still has a compelling storyline.
Jim
HermioneGreen posted a comment on Saturday 17th February 2007 3:18am
Awesome chapter. I look forward to finding out what the goblin sang for narcissa. It will also be interesting to see how the toad's death plays out (apparant murder or suicide) . . . she is after all writing an apology to harry . . . Keep up the good work
thanks for sharing
'Mione
JBern replied:
Thanks glad you enjoyed it. Oh Delores' death is a murder, but it will look like someone made certain she wrote that apology first. Thanks for reviewing.~Jim
B134 posted a comment on Friday 16th February 2007 8:07am
As amusing as the forced marriage thing is, I'm supprised that the first thing James didn't do was ammend the rules for his heirs. Even if he had to generate at least one heir before doing so it seems that he would have taken care of it.
At the same time, shouldn't Harry have at least asked about making changes to the requirements, even given that he's busy? Or at the very least, asking what would be done if he failed to marry and produce an heir? It seems hard to believe anyone would create a contract that requires the last heir of the line to either get married in 12 months or end the line (through the typical threatend punishments of loss of magic, life, etc in this type of fic). What if his first wife proved unable to have childeren?
Bill
JBern replied:
Thanks. Harry should consider changing the requirements especially in light of recent chapters.
I agree that it seems backward for such contracts to exist, yet even in the real world these things still exist.
Thanks for the review.~Jim
Louise Postlethwaite posted a comment on Sunday 4th February 2007 4:45am
I'm impressed, I think I like this story even more than bungle, and that's an achievement.
I like how everyone is going crazy in a different way... and I keep wondering who is going to catch on to Neville, and how many are going to die before he is stopped, and if it's Harry I'm not sure he would stop Neville.
Charlie and Cissy part was amusing, I was wondering where Charlie had gotten to, and when they would both be back, you gave Narcissa too good a spin to just leave her off-screen.
Ron's a good friend, and it's nice to see him not being completely clueless about girls, and funny to learn how he managed to force a peace-treaty between Hermione and the House Elves.
I'm looking forward to your next update, but I don't mind waiting too much since I just found I like your stories this week.
Thanks for writing, and I hope you had as much fun writing as I did reading.
Louise
JBern replied:
Thank you for the compliments! Bungle is actually an easier story to write. It kind of flows off the keyboard. Darkness I have to kind of force myself into an angrier mood when I write it. I'm writing chapter 30 at this moment.
You make a good point about whether or not Harry would stop Neville. It's food for thought. Charlie and Cissy have a minor story arc that will continue for the next few chapters.
I like Ron the good buddy rather than superstrategistRon! as seen in many stories.
Thanks again. Hope I continue to exceed your expectations with both stories.~Jim
kainboa posted a comment on Sunday 18th February 2007 11:53am
JBern replied: