By JBern
Reviews
Jason9 posted a comment on Wednesday 31st January 2007 3:11am
I love sneaky Neville, haven't seen that done much, but you do it well. Can't wait to see some more.
JBern replied:
Thanks! I start laying out chapter 30 today.~Jim
KingDark posted a comment on Tuesday 30th January 2007 4:54am
I have read the story in two days (is that a record or what huh?) Anyway, I love the cynical neville. But isnt he going a little to erh dark? i mean, it isnt in the character of neville to choke his enemies to death. Then again, how would you feel about the fact that the son of the possible father that killed his relatives, is taunting you like that?
Keep it up.
Kenny
JBern replied:
Wow! I bet your eyes hurt didn't they. Like many others, you are making the assumption that Neville is still sane. How many stories do we see on the TV about the kid who was bullied and had a crappy home life and then one day - he snaps.~Jim
BJH posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 8:22am
Oh, nice chapter. What started out as mostly angst and fluff ended with some interesting turns. Voldie being mean again, Peter the Pyro, I can't wait to see what happens with all the necros, will V get them up and running or will the good guys get some intel and burn the warehouses down before most of them are complete?
And Neville!!! Nice payback but it hints that he not only might not be the pure goody-goody, but has a slight dark side. Interesting that what everyone is afraid of Harry doing, Neville has done. And how will this tie in with the weak/recovering Ginny growing relationship with the Boy-who-might-have-been-chosen?
And Harry's line about Draco was priceless.
Then there is Charlie and Cissy! There's just so much.
Really nice.
BJH
JBern replied:
We'll see the army of the dead in the next few chapters one way or the other...
Neville? There's much more coming. We're just scratching the surface of his mania. It's official Charlie and Cissy will hang around in a minor story arc.
I start on chapter 30 today.~Jim
Patches posted a comment on Saturday 27th January 2007 7:27pm
Wow! Quite a chapter. I like the build up to the hand-fasting. That was good. I'm glad Harry got Tonks to apologize to Hermione. At least it is a step in the right direction. I'm so glad that Narcissa saved Charlie. I was sure for a bit that he was gone. That scene was very well done. I see Neville and Ginny possibly getting together. That would be good. The end was quite surprising. I never would have expected that from Neville. It really screams Neville is growing up and not going to be a push over ever again. A real clever way to use Gilly Weed. thanks for writing and I look forward to the next chapter.
pms
JBern replied:
Well I can't just off Charlie without giving you a bit of emotional investment in him, can I?
In Neville's mind the beauty of it is that no one would suspect that from him.~Jim
M. R. Moore posted a comment on Saturday 27th January 2007 5:38pm
"They won’t belch..." Obviously Ron never met my ex-girlfriend.
Good chapter... To tired to say much else...
JBern replied:
That's probably my favorite line from the chapter. Ron has a very twisted version of logic.~Jim
ichtys posted a comment on Saturday 27th January 2007 5:51am
Hi Jim.
Great work as always. I know I've said it before but I prefer Bungle. There are several reasons for this. I enjoy reading the lighthearted humour in Bungle and it is easier to follow Bungle with its single POV. In Darkness there are so many different POV's that I have literally lost count. On top of this the characters we follow also comes from both sides of the war. It can be a bit difficult (it is to me at least) to jump from Harry's POV to Voldemort's, and make the mental adjustments. I hope you can understand what I mean. In "After the End", the first Fan-fiction I read, there also was a lot of POV's, but they were all from the same side of the fence. I know Voldemort was dead, but the reader didn't have to follow the thoughts of death-eaters or Death-nibblers. I tried to re-read this story, but I wasn't focused enough to read it thoroughly.
I'll probably continue to read this story, but it isn't my top favourite at this time.
Thanks for writing and sharing.
Regards Ichtys
JBern replied:
Hmm. Catching up on my reviews before I start laying out chapter 30. Sorry it's not your favorite, but I appreciate that you continue to read. When I set out to do this I wanted something on the grand scale, where you see both sides of the story and actually see where the lines between good and evil start to blur.~Jim
PerfesserN posted a comment on Thursday 25th January 2007 3:27pm
Whoa, Dark Neville. What is the wizarding world comming to. I don't doubt Goyle was a bullying git but isn't this just a little over the top for Neville? It'll be interesting to see where this beta story goes. Looking forward to it, as always.
N!
JBern replied:
Oh your still making the assumption that Neville is still sane...
Then again, how many times do we see stories on TV about the quiet outsider kid who snaps...
I start laying out chapter 30 today. Hope to have it done by next weekend.~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Thursday 25th January 2007 1:50pm
The Chicken Dance is a wizard marraige custom? I love it. Thanks for the chapter. W
JBern replied:
You and I both know that the chicken dance is evil and must be stopped.~Jim
noylj posted a comment on Thursday 25th January 2007 12:36pm
Need some serious Harry/Susan time.
I may have to re-read, but right now I see a very whiny Hermy (but I probably have forgotten what justifies her).
JBern replied:
They seemed to have quite a bit of time in the transition from chapter 28 to 29. Harry spent most of his time holed up with Susan, though he only opened up to her after she surprised both of them with the baby.
Hermione is upset because she feels guilty about what happened at #12. Wasn't helped by Tonk's tirade. She's hit the bottle pretty hard. She also feels like she's losing Harry's friendship.~Jim
Black Dragon Knight posted a comment on Thursday 25th January 2007 12:02pm
Since I don't feel like fighting with FF.net tonight, I'll review the chapter here.
I really like these little side plots you've been developing. Like what's going to happen with Draco and now Charlie and Narcissa.
I can really see Ron making most of his analogies using food and/or Quidditch.
Also, I like Neville show a bit of a dark side after everything he's been through. While I can see him getting away with a little, I think after awhile someone would say something.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
JBern replied:
It's official. I have to keep the Charlie/Narcissa storyline going now. Ron's a good guy. Neville has surrendered to his darkness. He just doesn't know it yet. Next installment in 2 weeks.~Jim
Jason Phillips posted a comment on Thursday 25th January 2007 11:43am
Way to go Neville. It is always said,watch out for the quiet ones. Never know what they are planning. Outstanding chapter. Loved the handfasting. Can't wait until the next chapter.
JBern replied:
Well, fighting the coming darkness is on all fronts. Neville seems to have surrendered to his. Glad you enjoyed it. Next installment in 2 weeks.~Jim
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Thursday 25th January 2007 8:15am
OUTSTANDING CHAPTER!!!! I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. That was awesome! I loved the whole handfasting scene with Susan and Harry. I like the chicken dance with Fred and Harry that was cool. I'm glad to see that Fred will eventually come back to his old self. I see that Voldemary is still up to his old douche' bag tricks as usual, maybe eventually he'll pull his head out of his ass and stop trying to pick on the big wizards as Harry said!!!! DO keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. The chicken dance scene was one of my favorites, though Ron's advice about women actually tops it. Next update in about 2 weeks as I return my attention to Bungle.~Jim
DrT posted a comment on Thursday 25th January 2007 3:23am
My goodness. Neville! I'm shocked, shocked (and impressed).
"T"
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed it. Always nice to keep the readers and other authors on their collective toes.~Jim
Loopy Dane posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 1:20pm
Yikes, the Dark Lord Neville does sound a little strange, doesn't it?
-Great Chapter!!
JBern replied:
Well he only killed Goyle...Let's not start filling out his Dark Lord Apprenticeship forms just yet....Jim
agent fisher posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 12:13pm
Holy crap, Neville grew quite a pair.
JBern replied:
Well all that herbology can help you grow things... I guess. Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim
Renzo7 posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 12:01pm
Awesome chapter, hillarious ending, really creative. Keep up the awesome work, I hope you update soon.
JBern replied:
Thank you for the compliments. Next update in probably 2 weeks.~Jim
cmatbmed posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 11:52am
Thanks for another great chapter.
Neville rocks.
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed it!~Jim
Sean Dillon posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 11:34am
Down with Harry!
Way To Go Neville!!!!
He's my new hero.
JBern replied:
Sheesh! How soon you forget the sushi chef job Harry did on Snape? Oh well, glad you enjoyed this disturbing look into Neville's mind.~Jim
duke_bonez posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 10:38am
ROFL. I humbly bow down to your sense of vengeance, and the humor that goes with it. Poor guy probably tried to walk it off! Ah, that's gonna crack me up for the rest of the day, thanks.
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed the story and my macbre style. I hope to continue exceeding your expectations.~Jim
jb238 posted a comment on Thursday 1st February 2007 7:45am
JBern replied: