MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 3:13am

Go Neville! Nice to see the good guys using less than standard methods.

Glad to see Ron being a good influence and Harry reconciling with Hermione.

Wonderful job with Voldy. He comes across as your standard ceo trying to improve the position of his company. He seems so vey reasonable and unafraid of getting his hands dirty. Fight scene next chapter?

JBern replied:

Most have the impression that I don't like Ron and Hermione.   I actually do.   I just don't want to 'do them' like traditional stories.

Most likely someone will be fighting next chapter... can't say who yet.~Jim

mmb posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 2:46am

Wow! Neville as a premeditated, stone cold killer. Didn't see that happening, but events allowed that to happen in your story.

Nice to see a different Neville other than a nancyboy.

JBern replied:

It was hinted after what had happened to Luna.   Neville will continue to impact the story for some time to come....~Jim

Gardengirl posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 2:20am

Nice one, Neville! Payback's a bitch, isn't it?

I'm very grateful that you didn't off Charlie (at least not yet). Thanks for that.

I'm wondering how long you project this to be. You're well into it now; are you going to continue at this pace and make it a truly marathon-length fic, or will it be wrapping up sooner than later? Inquiring fans want to know :D

Cheers,
Michelle

JBern replied:

Depending on the response, Charlie and Narcissa may continue to pop up now and then as a bit of a side story.   Currently, I think I can wrap this one up in about 10 more chapters.   It will still be tilting the scales at over 300K in wordcount.~Jim

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Wednesday 17th January 2007 10:32am

Ok, so many people give Harry a kid to "live for". Its kind of cliched but I suppose it makes it that much more imperative that he doesn't go dark.

As always a very well written chapter. I particularly liked the stuff about Draco Malfoy. Its nice to see him portrated as capable for once, and especailly as the unknown quantity you've made of him in this. Bill Weasley getting revenge on Amy with that very nasty spell was also muy muy fun!

Although I wasn't overly impressed with Harry this chapter, I think it was neccessary considering what he had done to Snape. I kind of liked that he seemed almost scared of his own magic.

Thanks for writing and I look forward to more!

Monkey

JBern replied:

Thanks again for all the reviews.   Chapter 29 was just posted, so I hope you enjoy.   The kid thing was bound to happen the moment I included it in the end of the line clauses back in chapter 8.   I like the psychological aspect of the characters not immediately bouncing back from the horrors they have seen.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 8:16am

It is interesting to see a different take on Saint Lily, as you named her. It is a pretty bleak picture, James pretty muched getting used, but getting what he wanted at the same time. Sounds like it might not have lasted. You've done a deft job of giving Harry good reasons to ditch his friends, but not shutting himself off completely.

JBern replied:

I'm proud of my twist on Lily.   In my search for realism, I wanted a real tangible reason for the Dursley's hatred of Harry, but not to the point where they thought they could get away with outright killing him.   Thanks again for taking the time to review.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 7:45am

Good the see the real Ginny Weasley come out to play. Nice move Narcissa! That was an entertaining chapter. The end-of-line clauses will perhaps cause some trouble in the future. To bad about that whole Ron-Hermione, divorce-looking-for-a-place-to-happen thing.

JBern replied:

Ron and Hermione have their place in the story as does Ginny.   You'll be happy to note that Narcissa and Charlie resurface for a cameo in chapter 29 just posted.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 6:56am

The Penelope twist was a really good one. Never seen that before! Boo to smothering Ginny! I've often read of Harry cowering before an irate Molly Weasley. Well, its a good things she's scarier and more dangerous than Voldemort. Harry's rebuttal is something that I've often shouted at the screen!

JBern replied:

I get a lot of mileage out of Penny in this story.   Why can't she be an ambitious girl willing to use a man for her own means.   Why's Percy always the bad guy abandoning his family.   How many guys are led astray by the pretty woman whispering in their ear, "You're better than they are?"   Glad you liked Harry's retort.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 6:38am

Bill and Harry seem to have an easy friendship. t is difficult that say how biased Snape's evaluation was, so it will be interesting to see how Harry's abilbities turn out. Weasley's arrived and immediately smother Harry. I like how you pointed that out; Harry doesn't seem the type to be comfortable with a lot of physical affection. Let the circus begin, huh?

JBern replied:

I like Bill.   He's my favorite Weasley as indicated by my other story.   Let the circus begin indeed...~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 6:12am

Looking forward to Neville's reaction. It is true that reluctant Death Eaters are quite rare, and the discussion between Terry and Marietta was a gem. It is a good thing that you like things different from canon, as this means that perhaps Harry won't be a clueless idiot.

JBern replied:

Wow!   Thanks for all the reviews.   I have a bit of catching up after just posting chapter 29.   Part of the fun of writing this story is being able to take spare third and fourth tier characters like Terry and Marietta and really make something out of them.   Believe it or not Marietta was one of the original people I considered for the love interest.   I still may write that some day.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 6:04am

The history of Voldemort is quite interesting, and like you mentioned in the author notes, seldom mentioned. Wouldn't the more dangerous couple have the kid that would cause the most problems?

The part where Susan was listening to Harry's nightmares with a pillow over her head, not able to comfort him, was a really good scene.

JBern replied:

I hope you will discover this to be a very different Dark Lord than you are used to.   Hopefully that will also extend to Susan as a love interest.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 5:43am

The discussion between the Headmaster and Harry was a powerful scene. It is not often that an unresolved dissagreement is written between the two, even in fan ficiton, or perhaps especially then. The ponderings of Snape, and the possible rationalizations for the Defense Professors was something of which I had not thought, and is entirely plausible. This was another very good chapter!

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliments.   Sorry it took a while for the reply.   As I strive for realism, I know that very few things in the real world are resolved in a single sitting.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 5:23am

It's not like Harry to back down from Snape, but I guess he is still feeling guilty over being tricked into going to the DoM. It is good to see him thinking quickly on his feet, and looks like Susan will do so as well. She is becoming an interesting character!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   You are correct about the Harry and Snape interaction.   In this fic, everyone makes mistakes.~Jim

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 2:54am

This is a really good chapter! I like (I use the term very loosely!) your Voldemort. He is not invincible to all except the luck and will of Harry Potter. Looking forward to reading the rest of the story.

JBern replied:

Wow!   Lots of reviews from you to respond to.   Glad you are enjoying the story.   I'd probably go back and polish chapter 1 a bit more one of these days. The dialogue with Voldy is a bit stilted.  ~Jim

graftedbranch posted a comment on Friday 12th January 2007 7:38am

Your vignette of Peter spouting biz-school cliches was one of the best shots in fanfiction.

Overall, your Susan is just like I would expect her to be. Not as exciting as canon Ginny, and not bossy like Hermione (who acts more like a mother to Harry than girlfriend material). Susan is steady and solid, and pretty. Which fits for Harry, who gets more than enough excitement in his life. He does not need it in a girlfriend.

While your ginny is nastier than canon, the nasty streak is there in canon too. She does not require too much suspension of disbelief.

Bill

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   I really enjoy writing my twisted version of Peter.   Susan, well I'm working hard to try and make her her own character who stands on her own without looking like a clone of HermoGinny.~Jim

Kinsfire posted a comment on Monday 8th January 2007 9:43am

I can honestly see Hermione after this - and ESPECIALLY after Tonks's little explosion - finding some time to be alone and very calmly and quietly taking her own life.

Or reversing completely and giving up all of her studying. Which of course would lead to Tonks having another massive explosion where she proves that she has the Black temper and says even MORE unforgiveable things.

Personally, I think I'd like to see someone who cares for Hermione walk up to Tonks and punch several teeth out of her mouth. Fine, the woman was hurting and lashed out, but she needs to be reminded that words said in anger are remembered long afterward. I think I'd like to see some punishment of Tonks for her outburst.

As always, this is a very well written and quite intriguing chapter.

JBern replied:

Hmmm.   Hermione on a path of self-destruction.   How interesting.   I like interesting.   We'll see.   Harry will interface with Hermione next chapter.   It's a promise.   There should be some reprecussions for Tonks' behavior.   Then again, the world isn't always fair.~Jim

HermioneGreen posted a comment on Monday 8th January 2007 5:59am

Interesting development . . . why was it blue first? just part of the spell process? Now that harry has something else to live for, I look forward to seeing how intensive his training becomes. Keep up the good work

thanks for sharing

'Mione

JBern replied:

Look at the little rhyme again.   If the aura stays blue...   It didn't.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter.   Next update coming soon.~Jim

Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Monday 8th January 2007 3:52am

Oops, my mistake. I guess they DO have enough time to be physically intimate, or at least it is implied. I guess I forgot about that -- I just went & re-read the whole story. Still, I stand by my earlier statement that they need to work on "Us" in an emotional sense. Can't wait for the next chapter!

JBern replied:

Oh, I agree with you.   Susan would probably agree with you too.   Harry's a little too closed off emotionally right now to have an opinion.   Thanks for rereading the story.   Hope it was just as enjoyable this time around.   I just posted chapter 17 of Bungle if you are hard up for reading material today.~Jim

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 5:37pm

Having Draco back was great. Nice to see that his vacation met with my expectations of his character.

More Sadistic!Bill please. What a surprise ending!

Please do not tell me I was just cursed by Molly Weasley?
-that had me laughing.

Can Ron at least make a bit of a come back? He and Hermione have been set far adrift.

JBern replied:

You'll see more of Ron and Hermione next chapter.   Poor Voldy, all the other fanfic Voldys are giving him a hard time for getting cursed by Molly.   Thanks for all the reviews you given so far.~Jim

Sonicdale posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 5:05pm

Two cliffies in a row.
Nice.
This is getting better. THanks for not just having Harry recover in a small amount of time.

Good work.

JBern replied:

It seemed like a logical point to stop the chapter...

Glad you liked it.   I start laying out chapter 29 today.~Jim

Nyghthawk28 posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 1:45pm

It twists and turns, coils and knots...

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!

For all the power Harry displays you're doing a good job of keeping the human element without lingering on whininess. You're also one of the few who doesn't seem fixated by the Light/Dark debate which is a definate plus! ^_^

So keep up the great work I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the   compliments.   You're right.   Harry's debate isn't so much light/dark it's more sane/insane.   Glad you liked it.~Jim