By JBern
Reviews
LKK posted a comment on Tuesday 16th September 2008 2:49pm
That was really good. Can't say I like the fact that old Voldy will be reborn. Ah well, beggars can't be choosers. ;P
JBern replied:
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Just catching up on my review replies for my older stories.~Jim
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Thursday 11th September 2008 4:57am
Actually there is more than Riddle's diary and the DoM incident. Not much but there is more to go on. In fact in the way you have he lash out and attack Harry, you end up following the sterotype you mention as a peeve.
I do agree with you to an extent about Gringotts' vaults. If you base your premise on the muggle world than gold and jewelry (along with stocks, bonds, mutual funds, various types of important documents, etc.) would be about all. But that premise may be too narrow for the magical world. Why should a vault in the wizarding world be limited to what muggle banks are limited to? If I can put a whole room in a trunk why wouldn't I put a whole garage in my vault and store my antique car collection there (just an example). So why not an antique armory or a library of rare, expensive books -- just not the Potters (unless one has a credible reason why James and Lily didn't take advantage of it, perhaps the Potter will was in probate and James couldn't get things out).
Narcissa's escape is very creative and good. I like it (not much more to say about reading).
Sirius' portrait is interesting, but I wonder about it. Portraits certainly do talk (even interact with the real world as when Mrs. Black recognizes a mudblood -- or does she as she goes off about mudbloods with halfbloods as well, so maybe she's just got a standard rant for any stranger) in canon, and seem to bear a distinctive personality, but while they might store some measure of knowledge, could they really make changes (e.g. amendments and updates to the will) -- after all the person is dead. Verdict: creative but gimmicky.
JBern replied:
Interesting criticisms. Thanks for sharing.~Jim
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Monday 8th September 2008 9:05am
I think you did a very good job with the argument between Harry and Dumbledore. Though I think Harry missed a telling point: If I had stayed put, "sir", or taken time to try to contact someone, Susan would probably now be dead or hidden away somewhere being tortured by DEs. I took the only available course of action to save lives." While responding in anger and attacking Dumbledore's poor decision-making may have worked well, it left Dumbledore's and Snapes estimation that Harry acted irresponsibly intact. But neither has offered a viable alternative. Perhaps sometimes the only good choice is the irresponsible one.
JBern replied:
Yeah, sometimes arguments just go that way. No one wins or makes all the perfect points.~Jim
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Monday 8th September 2008 9:04am
I think you did a very good job with the argument between Harry and Dumbledore. Though I think Harry missed a telling point: If I had stayed put, "sir", or taken time to try to contact someone, Susan would probably now be dead or hidden away somewhere being tortured by DEs. I took the only available course of action to save lives." While responding in anger and attacking Dumbledore's poor decision-making may have worked well, it left Dumbledore's and Snapes estimation that Harry acted irresponsibly intact. But neither has offered a viable alternative. Perhaps sometimes the only good choice is the irresponsible one.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. I don't check my completed stories often enough, so apologies for the delayed replies.
Tammy Driver posted a comment on Wednesday 25th June 2008 8:52pm
It would have been nice to see Tom squashed like the bug he is, by Hagid falling on him.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you liked it.~Jim
Tammy Driver posted a comment on Wednesday 25th June 2008 3:32am
Penny as Voldie's goddaughter. I never saw that coming.
JBern replied:
Glad I can keep you guessing.~Jim
Portus posted a comment on Wednesday 11th June 2008 5:47pm
I should have reviewed this as soon as I finished reading it. Shame on me. But in my defense, I was probably a bit shell-shocked at the time. See, I read this fic from beginning to end, after it was entirely completed, and so had no lag time between chapters to internalize how ruthless an author you really are.
You waxed so many major characters, in so many gruesome and undignified ways... well, let's just say I was ill-prepared for the scope of the carnage you brought to bear, and leave it at that.
No, I can't just leave it. You took beloved characters like James and Lily (especially Lily) and throttled the Angelic!Potters image we've all come to accept as immutable. You set Neville down a very, very dark road and made Harry into a cunning, Fight-Fire-With-Fire, if-you-aren't-with-me-fuck-you hero.
But seriously, you even made the Dursley into sympathetic/redeemed (?) characters, which isn't unhear-of, but to do by turning Lily Potter into a cruel bitch, even though she was doing what we'd expect any mother to do? Wow.
Superb fic. One of my favorites, and definitely my favorite involving Harry and Susan.
Thanks again!
JBern replied:
I intended to write Saving Private Ryan meets Harry Potter and give a brutally realistic version of a magical war. How'd I do? If you go look in my thread there's an obituary thread listing each chapter in the story.
I'm glad you enjoyed it and hope that you continue to follow my work both fanfic and original.~Jim
Ciroth posted a comment on Saturday 31st May 2008 10:59am
Great SL.....I do hope you write another one to this. You did leave a great opening for more then a one shot.
JBern replied:
I've got too much on my plate to come back to this one now, but maybe one day...
Jim
Minerva Granger posted a comment on Tuesday 27th May 2008 4:55pm
Wow. Fascinating. This is great, I loved this chapter. Dark Lord U? Weird, I just thought he read the evil overlord list.
JBern replied:
Thanks. I wanted to portray a realistic Voldemort. It came off pretty well.~Jim
Minerva Granger posted a comment on Tuesday 27th May 2008 4:36pm
Yeah, I alsways said Dumbles needed a brain transplant. Harry, unfortunately, had more valid points than Dumbles did. Having said that, DUmbles' points had a validity which may have over-ridden some of Harry's, if Dumbles hadn't missed Harry's point. What good is a Wzarding saviour who can't do what's expected of hime because all he knows is suffering and hate? That's what Dumbles' machinations have caused, now Dumbles reaps the benefits. Will he ever work that out?
JBern replied:
I like those arguments where no one is completely right. It adds a sense of realism to things.~Jim
Minerva Granger posted a comment on Tuesday 27th May 2008 3:38pm
wow. Holy heck, this is a great chapter, and I feel terrible for Susan. Both her Mum and Aunt killed. Voldie, you are going DOWN!
JBern replied:
Still catching up on those reviews. The first chapter to this story was a good hook. I'm glad you liked it.~Jim
Magnificent the Destroyer Lord posted a comment on Sunday 27th April 2008 3:38pm
Interesting resemblences to Bungle/Turn Me Loose; do I detect a love for the Develish Duo? *snicker*
Again, good luck with the fiction
M*T*D*L*
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. It's been so long I actually have to look back and see what you are referencing.Glad you're enjoying story.
Regards,
Jim
Magnificent the Destroyer Lord posted a comment on Sunday 27th April 2008 2:43pm
I like it - nice touch on an original plot for offing Tommy-boy. (*snickers*) Obviusly he doesn't succeed, as it's over 40 chapters and this one is twenty-something. (damnable short-term memory problems... *grumbles*)
How's the original fiction coming? Can't wait to get my hands on (... *grimaces* ... Dead somethings? My memory's playing with me again - I have the email saved, thank goodness!!!)
Good luck with all your projects
M*T*D*L*
JBern replied:
Thanks also for this review. I'm glad you like the original take on voldemort.
The original stuff is coming along well. We hope to be available by the end of summer. The title is going to be Dead Eye: Pennies for the Ferryman. With any luck, it will be the first of many Dead Eye novels.
Regards,
Jim
Patrick Cross posted a comment on Sunday 27th April 2008 9:04am
Personally, I like the way you worked Neville in. He's the epitome of "quiet bravery." Story is very well done. I like it!
JBern replied:
Thanks for the early review. I wonder how your opinion of Neville will change over the story?
Regards,
Jim
Prongs1977 posted a comment on Monday 14th April 2008 2:37pm
I don't know if I've reviewed much, if at all, for this story, as I read it start to finish. First and foremost, BRAVO! This was well written and all that rot (I'm not much for flowery language, hence I'll never be a critic). I did enjoy the bits of humor (Michael Jackson, born a poor black boy and growing up to be a rich white man (woman)), I must admit I didn't see all the Weasley deaths, but it was well done. If you do write a "sequel" to this, I would love to be e-mailed/notified, as it's a GREAT second piece, but if not, it's just "Harry Jr. vs. Tom Jr." or "Harry vs. Tom pt deux". Anyway, enough from me, GREAT WORK!
JBern replied:
Thank you very much for the review. I'm glad you found to be an enjoyable story and I hope that you find my other works just as entertaining.
Regards,
Jim
Ianmacian posted a comment on Thursday 6th March 2008 2:09pm
I really like this story. It has a realism to it that you don't often see in fanfiction. One question, though. Does Susan actually believe what she's saying here, or has she simply lost enough lately that she doesn't care how hypocritical she's being? She already knows from Dumbledore that the Abbotts are going to walk away from mind-rape and attempted murder with a rap on the knuckles, and she lays that "stay in the light" trip on Harry. It seems like what she's really saying is, "don't hurt anyone I care about, no matter whether they deserve or not, or you'll be dark"
Wolf
JBern replied:
It's tough to say. Susan was doing her best to keep Harry in the light, for his sake, her sake. Thanks for the review.~Jim
Armand posted a comment on Friday 22nd February 2008 4:37pm
hmmm, i'll give you that one about neither Dumbledore nore Harry was right in thier argument. but in my opinion Harry was a bit more right in his arguments. just my honest opinion. by the way, great fic you have here. third time reading it. ;) lol
JBern replied:
Well, you have to give Harry and edge, but Dumbledore did have a few points in there.~Jim
Heir of Gryffindor posted a comment on Thursday 21st February 2008 2:11pm
wow this was amazing. i just read it all in the past day or so, and i am amazed at the depth you went into with it. most times you read a fic, the characters beyond harry and maybe a few others are so one dimensional. not with your "world within a world," so to speak. congratulations on an incredible job well done.
JBern replied:
Thank you very much for reading it all in one sitting. There are probably some things that I could have done differently and would've done differently, but this was my first attempt at fan fiction. I learned a lot from it and hopefully I can take those lessons to my current and future works.
Regards,
Jim
Aelita posted a comment on Friday 15th February 2008 3:08pm
WOW, this story was totally different from what i thought it would be and i loved it! Thank you so much for a great story!
JBern replied:
Makes me wonder what you thought it would be? Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim
Anansii posted a comment on Thursday 2nd October 2008 7:45am
JBern replied: