uthamm posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 5:32am

AWESOME! I am heading out to Dark Lord Potter to check out the contest. Neat twist on the story - I am torn now . . . I enjoy all your stories and hope/wish that they were all updated. I like the 'confident' Harry that you are heading for. OOTP and HPB turned Harry into a wimp - I like Harry coming out from behind a headstone to face the wanker! Go Harry/James!

JBern replied:

The contest is actually a bit childish and goes back to the fallout from the 2nd annual DLP awards.   I hope what you read there does not damage your opinion of me.   I agree that book 5 and 6 kind of ruined the notion of a truly heroic Harry.~Jim

gadriam posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 5:30am

"Harry, are you asleep yet?" Hermione’s voice came from the next bed over.

"Yes, and dreaming as well." There let her figure that out.
I just can't shake the feeling that you're gonne set Hermy up as a girl you dream about. It's quite a bit from your previous renditions. Nevermind of course.
The only thing i find a bit lacking is the tenthsentence that i thing should end with ", though." The rest is more or even more great. Of course, by now you really have to work for your E in the Writing OWL.

g

JBern replied:

Sorry, the story is under Harry/Fleur for a reason.   That should be reason enough to read.   One of these days I'll do a Harry/Hermione.   Just not today.~Jim

jdekke posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 5:26am

this is fun.
When is the next chapter.

JBern replied:

Chapter 2 Next Friday.~Jim

Dave Harris posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 5:24am

Your tenses seem a bit out of whack here: "Absently, I stuck my wand in my mouth and mutter, "integrum restituere." My breath freshened and my teeth were cleaned. ‘Breakfast here I come.’ It would be a few days before I realized that no one had ever taught Harry James Potter that particular spell. Thankfully, ignorance was actually bliss as I wasn’t ready for a nervous breakdown just yet.

At breakfast, we learned that the Minister has removed the Dementors from the school grounds."

I think it should all be in past tense...

The story's intriguing. I'm interested to see Harry with James's memories/knowledge (especially if we get some entertaining flirting!).

JBern replied:

Yeah, my mechanics are a bit suspect.   I'll have to pay attention to it as the story goes especially when I permanently switch tenses at the end of the summer as the 4th year starts.   Thanks for the review.~Jim

Erica posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 5:20am

I love this story,
I hope you update soon

JBern replied:

Chapter 2 next Friday.   Thanks for the review.~Jim

KLGreen posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 5:16am

I like what you have done so far.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Chapter 2 coming next week.~Jim

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 5:16am

Huh, now this is new, to say the least, for me and I'll definitely be looking forward to what may occur because of this, and what this newly developing Harry will be like in the future, as well as what this will cause to happen with his classmates, especially if he starts to become more like the romantic rouge that his father was than he usually is.

JBern replied:

The changes he is undergoing are fundamental and profound.   Just wait and see.~Jim

Jason9 posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 5:13am

This is such a great start to a story, it's freakin' cruel to only post one chapter. Can't wait to see more of any of your stories, keep up the great work.

-J

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Chapter 2 is almost ready, but I'll put it out probably next Friday.~Jim

Anand posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 4:56am

Very promising start! Can't wait to see where this goes.

JBern replied:

Thanks!   I'm going to keep chapter length short and hope to keep a good pace going.~Jim

fuddledone posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 4:56am

Interesting, very interesting! Looks to be a fun read. There are no spelling mistakes that I could see. My grammar sense is so unreliable that I would not inflict it on anyone but this reads well.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   That makes 2 of us with mediocre grammar skills!~Jim

xalphardx posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 4:50am

I liked this, different perspective and interesting story and plot.

JBern replied:

Well, I've dabbled in 3rd and 2nd person POVs.   I figured I should give 1st person a shot.   Hope you enjoy.~Jim

Christopher Patton posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 4:50am

An interesting start that you have here.

My first thought is that somehow James Potter and Harry Potter are either the same person or they are merging for some reason. It's going to be fun seeing where this goes.

Plus with lines like the "flying foxes" and "inspect me for bat wings" I hope the flirting gets real hot and heavy.

JBern replied:

It should be an interesting trip for us all.   I'll have to concentrate on the storytelling and hope it counters my mediocre grammar and punctuation.~Jim

krowbory posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 4:47am

Looks very promising indeed - James Potter is a rather under-investigated character, being unlucky enough to receive a character that is cliched from the early days of fanfic. Your story looks like it will rewrite those assumptions.

It's certainly an interesting concept, and a nice way of getting Harry powerful without him becoming a God overnight.

There are a few grammatical/spelling errors, but not so many as to change my view of the story, and as you aren't allowed a beta as part of the competition it is only to be expected.

I would say update soon, but you have no choice :p

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review and I know my mechanics are crap, but with no beta it means I need to rise to the challenge.

Chapter 2 is about 1/2 written and it's longer already.   I'm going to try to keep chapter length between 3-6000 words per chapter this should keep up a steady flow.

Thanks again for the review.~Jim

Mmax posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 4:45am

Very good - look forward to reading more

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I intend to keep the chapter length down to increase production.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 9th February 2007 4:42am

Josh darnit, Jim, you come up with some of the most clever story plots!

I'm just miffed I can't read the rest of the story right now!

Percy taking Malfoy to the the objective Hagrid couldn't get any funnier as I imagine it. Snape will try to kill the issue, but the second Hagrid hears what went on I expect the big guy will go hyppogriff on the greasy git.

I love it!

JBern replied:

I'm miffed that it isn't written yet as well.   Damn stories won't write themselves!   Thanks for reviewing.   I'm going to have to get better on my mechanics without a Beta on this one.~Jim