DvorakQ posted a comment on Friday 7th March 2008 2:38pm

Wow. That hit the spot. Jbern, you made my crappy day, into a tolerable day. Thank you. I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do with your own original novel.

'... You seriously expect us to believe this? That potion takes days to brew. The opponents weren’t even announced until yesterday. Nice try with the ‘my child is a weak minded fool just like I was’ defense, but it doesn’t hold water."'
I don't believe that HJP knows exactly how long that specific elixir takes to brew. Maybe make the hat say that line or something.

Also, when HJP is heading to the tent, I'd expect him to be a bit more careful handling the hat... the elixir has been there since morning and is still quite potent. Maybe have hj levitate the hat or something.


Looking forward to the next chapter. Good luck writing the rest of your book!

JBern replied:

Well hopefully, the crappy days are behind you now.   Tonight (3/17) I should have chapter 12 up in case you have the Monday blues.   I appreciate the interest in my original work and hope it impresses you when it is released this summer.

Good points about this chapter.   Thanks for the insight.~Jim

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Friday 7th March 2008 2:37pm

So who won the bet between the two?

JBern replied:

Good question.

texasranger_10 posted a comment on Friday 7th March 2008 2:01pm

OH THAT WAS PIRCELESS i loved the parting remark. damn that was good.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you liked it.   Next chapter is just about done.~Jim

Kieran posted a comment on Wednesday 5th March 2008 2:33pm

Hmmmn only after reading this chapter do I notice the fic is listed as Harry/Fleur, i'm interested how you are going to let this play out.
Finaly any news on an update for this or Turn me lose I need another fix ASAP

JBern replied:

Chapter 11 is now up.   The Author's Notes at the end talk about my update schedule.   Thanks for the review.~Jim

AnnaTigg posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2008 3:35am

Your sorting hat is quite amusing..especially the way "he" talks to Dumbledore. This fanfic has a very interesting basis, I'm keen to see where it is going to go.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   Chapter 11 has just been posted.   I hope you have continued to enjoy the story.~Jim

FeverFudge posted a comment on Tuesday 19th February 2008 8:54pm

I was going to leave a review at the end of the next chapter, but I love this chapter so much! I love your stories. There is something raw about them that make you feel all of your characters injustice and emotions and what not.

I don't know that where your going with the relationship with Harry and the Weasley's but I'm really likeing the new dynamic with them. Usually it's either 'I hate you all cuz you betrayed me' or 'its I love you cuz you're nice.'

Harry's a little bugger isn't he? But I like that he has a spine. It's not that he didn't before it's just - I guess it comes from his lack of social upbringing but he really needed to stop letting people walk over him.

The thing with Remus is a bit iffy and I'm curious as to where it goes. I'm also glad that you don't have Lily and James as the wonder couple. It makes for a nice change. They are real people with real problems.

I really like the little bit here at the end with Sirius! People always say that he had trouble acceptting Harry as Harry and not James. After his stint in Azkaban I wonder if this just makes him a bit more crazy. I never really agreed with that argument but I wonder if thats an angle you're going with. I'm probably way off base here. You'll come up with something completely unexpected and brilliant and blow whatever i'm thinking away.

I love reading your stories! I'm looking forward to the next updates!

JBern replied:

Thank you very much for very long review.   I'm happy that you actually the rawness of the writing.   HJ does make mistakes in this story and they do come back to haunt him.   That's probably one of the more interesting aspects of the story.

Glad that you like both the dynamics between HJ andthe Weasleys and HJ and Sirius.   Look for chapter 11 in about seven days I've been working on some material for my original novel this week and while I have chapter 11 outlined I haven't written a single word yet.

Regards,
Jim

Rexnos posted a comment on Monday 18th February 2008 7:32pm

I'm on a review spree. I like hearing back from authors after I post a review. It's nice to know that my feedback is appreciated and all.

While not as off the wall as Bungle, this piece is still just as much fun to buzz through. The sorting hat is quite possibly my favorite character in any story I've ever read. You simply can't argue with an irritable old hat who is stuck dragging through a bunch of pre-teen skulls every year... I think your Godric would be laughing his head off.

I just love the darker tone and more realistic tone of both this fic and Bungle. It's a more mature Harry for older readers. I'm so often disgusted by the immature and childish writing I so often come across in most fan fiction. You're work is a refreshing change. It's completely off the wall, utterly unpredictable, humorous and still serious. I just can't praise this enough.

Admittedly, maybe I'm kinda biased since I don't get to find darker and more mature fics too often, but there's no way in heck I'm about to stop reading this one. The faster you update the happier I'll be.... Though I do understand the constrains of real life.

Rex

JBern replied:

Well today I'm in a reply it's pretty.   And I make an effort to reply to every review, even if it's the you are great update soon type of reviews.

That said, the more effort you put in your review the effort I put into my reply.   Chapter 11 has been outlined, but it I've been working on my original material this week.   I'm almost at my next waypoint.   So look for chapter 11 in about seven days.

Hopefully, the dueling scenes to translate from my mind to the keyboard without losing too much.   If I manage that, it should be my most entertaining chapter yet.

Regards,
Jim

DAMNED posted a comment on Monday 18th February 2008 7:22am

keep it coming

JBern replied:

Looks for chapter 11 about seven days from now.
Regards,
Jim

Ltank687 posted a comment on Sunday 17th February 2008 4:54pm

love it, please update, this is by far your bet story and i am just enamored by it.

JBern replied:

Thank you for taking the time to review my story.   I the dueling scense are  planned out and if they translate my mind to keyboard without losing too much, they should indeed be very entertaining.

I should have Chapter 11 done in about seven days.   Right now I'm working on material for my original novel which will hopefully be published this coming summer.   If you like what I can do with other people's characters, I think you'll like what's going to happen when I unleash my own original ideas.

Regards,
Jim

willyjoeshow posted a comment on Wednesday 13th February 2008 11:42am

Damn Jbern,
I had to replace a fucking lung from laughing so hard...Keep up the good work,

Willyjoeshow

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Hope you have a good HMO.   Sorry bout the lung.~Jim

penguins4me posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 6:48pm

I thought you did wonderfully on the broom race. When you first mentioned in the story that it was 20 5mile laps long, I let out a groan. I was thinking something along the lines of the star wars pod race. You know, waaay to long and kinda silly. But you really kept me interested and enthralled.

I like the part with Sirius, HJ had a really good handle on the situation there. And, yeah! Barty Jr. is already taken care of. And thanks for thinking about the tasks in a logical manner. It did not make sense how she wrote it in the book to me either. This is such a great story, and I can't wait to see how you bring it around to be HJ/Fleur. Keep up the good work. And please be sure to pimp your orginal work here, as I would love to read that too.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked the race so much.   I hated that damn pod race!   I hated pretty much the entire episode 1.  

Next chapter coming in 1-2 weeks~Jim

vanishingact posted a comment on Monday 4th February 2008 12:31pm

No! The end! AHHHH! I desperately want more chapters.

I actually stumbled across this story a couple of times in the past (or the summary at least), and more or less dismissed it. Ah, what brilliant things boredom brings...Needless to say, I was quite wrong in avoiding this story as it is quite good and most definitely unique! Note to self: never judge a fanfic by its summary...

Thanks for a wonderful read!

JBern replied:

Makes me wonder what's wrong with my summary.   I think it's kind of apt.   Glad you like it though.~Jim

Viridian posted a comment on Saturday 2nd February 2008 8:55pm

Good to see Harry not automatically winning everything. But... that said, I am REALLY looking forward to Krum getting pwned during the duels. And Harry having an evilgasm doing it.

JBern replied:

Well like I said HJ is up against 5 of the most talented magical people of his generation.   It shouldn't be a cakewalk.~Jim

DTMC924 posted a comment on Thursday 31st January 2008 6:43pm

WOW. I am following both turn me loose and this story and honestly all I can say is wow. I loved the concept of the broom race and the fact that Harry didn't win. I like the twist with Flamel's penseive also. Can't wait for the next chapter. Laterz

JBern replied:

Thanks for taking the time to review.   I hope I can continue to deliver consistent quality with my stories.~Jim

Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Tuesday 29th January 2008 12:16pm

I thought you handled the broom race quite well. The rings they had to fly through provided a bit of structure to it, and I like how it played out. The scene with Fleur in the forest was certainly entertaining, and I really want to see more interaction between the hat and Hermione. There's some real potential there. Overall, another great chapter. I don't mind about the order of chapters for this and TML, as they're both fantastic stories. Whatever you feel like writing is fine with me.
Jay

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'm picturing the Hat corrupting Hermione.   Anyone ever seen a foul mouthed Hermione Granger?~Jim

warpwizard posted a comment on Monday 28th January 2008 12:23pm

I really enjoyed this chapter. One thing that sets this fic apart for me, among "retake" type fics, is that I know you won't have Harry always win, so I have a genuine interest in how the various Triwizard events go. It's more of a "plot" fic, which is good because the likeability factor of the characters is way down. :)

I liked the bit with Pronghorn Harry visiting Nekkid Fleur. More! :)

JBern replied:

Where's the fun if HJ sweeps the competition.   That's not interesting.   What's wrong with my characters?   Why aren't they likeable!!!!   You mean to tell me a sports phenom who'll do anything to win, a stuck up wench who shields herself with rudeness and a boy with the memories of his father who's taking ettiquette lessons from the crudest object ever created aren't likeable!~Jim

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Monday 28th January 2008 7:14am

Brilliant chapter. The broom race really worked well. I like the fact that your adding the idea of a staff duel. You've made HJ incredibly powerful so it seemed that the duels would be far to easy for him and adding a task that would be heavily influenced by physical strength balances that very nicely.
The idea of the new task with collecting the dagger is very interesting too.
The scene with Fleur was also very good.
Thanks for writing, can't wait for more.
Monkey

JBern replied:

The staff duel will have a magical component to it.   In many stories, staves are the ultimate in coolness.   Many people do the comparison between pistols (wands) and high powered rifles (staves).   Instead, I'm going to be contrasting pistols versus musket loaders.   Staves are crude wands that were affordable to everyone when wands were not.

Hope that piques your interst.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Monday 28th January 2008 4:47am

As always, so good to see this continued. LOL at the whole "surprising a wood nymph while bathing" beginning. I love the way Harry decides to exploit the moment and you clearly revelled in writing "naked Fleur". I suspect Harry will be feeling frustrated for some time. Absolutely appropriate use of the word "shag" too.

You're clearly enjoying the James-part of Harry's mind in this chapter. "Any near death experience older than a month is fodder for jokes" is one of your greatest ever lines. LOL.

Nice line about Krum beating a boy or losing to one. The broom race is wonderful, reminding me of watching Formula 1 racing (bit like Nascar but with more expensive cars), where strategy is as important as speed. Excellent.

Loved the reasoning behind house elves. It even makes logical sense. Can't wait to see what you do with the duels and the Puzzle Room. As always, you've clearly put a lot of thought into the tasks and how they'll work. Fantastic chapter as always. More please.

JBern replied:

What's wrong with a little wood nymph scene?   Apparently, the only constant in my stories is that Harry in each story has seen Fleur naked.   I guess that'll have to be a running gag.

Glad you continue to leave insightful reviews.~Jim

Mionefan posted a comment on Monday 28th January 2008 4:31am

Hmmm, your version of the sorting hat is VERY different! I'm not sure it's an accurate portrayal since the sorting ceremony is too different from this to not leak out in the sorting ceremony. Does this make sense? Actually, I like how you've done this, and it's really original.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.   I'm glad you prize originality.~Jim

CosmosGravitation posted a comment on Sunday 27th January 2008 7:58am

I was pleasantly surprised to find this chapter waiting for me. Not to long ago I noticed you had posted on the DLP board that you had yet to start writing the next chapter of Turn Me Loose so I figured it would be at least a week or two before I'd get to read more of your writing. Now I find not only more of your writing, but writing for my favorite fanfic story.

A strong chapter. Writing and such was up to your usual quality.

The opening scene where Harry stumbled across Fleur may have been a little to convenient. Not that it couldn't happen, just that the scene is a product of random chance instead of a natural progression of the characters. That's okay, just not quite as interesting to me. Although, I suppose just about any device used to get Harry to slightly warm up to Fleur might come across like that at this point. Besides, if it's one thing canon Harry had, it's luck.

The race was good. I like that Harry lost via cheating. Just will make it that much more sweet when Harry kicks Krum's ass in dueling. I assume if there's any event Harry will dominate it will be dueling. Not that it will be a cake walk, but I'm thinking he should win the wand dueling. Memories of a professional dueler and all that.

Some good interaction in this chapter all around. Harry seems to have mellowed a bit from the earlier chapters, which is good. I wonder if the Sorting Hat will be able to put Hermione off House Elves. Curious to see if you're going to do anything with Melinda.

A Pensieve is a pretty nice reward for a task in the tournament. I don't remember, did you establish how much those cost? Is the reward for the entire tournament 1k gallons?

Keep up the good work. If you have trouble getting through the next chapter of Turn Me Loose again, I for one won't complain if you work on the next chapter of this one.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Right now I haven't really settled on the reason for the extra prizes.   There are 2 possibilities - 1 is marketing has really started to take a hold in the Wizarding World and with this being the first TWT in over 400 years everyone is using it as a vehicle to market themselves with the exception of the Pensieve which was donated by Flamel's widow.

The second option is that the fund that pays for the TWT has been doing nothing but gaining interest for the last 400+ years and they have a ridiculous amount of money to throw at the innaugural tournament.   I'm inclined to go with #1.

Thanks for the long review.   Now I must get back to TML.~Jim