By JBern
Reviews
Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 8:06am
Wondered how Harry would trip Crouch Jr up. Well done.
> I send the mental image off a shrunken Hat with Dobby using it as a condom.
*laugh* There's the snarky sense of humor!
> or maybe a prick — there’s always been a rumor or two about Albus Dumbledore.
*snort* Wondered when I'd get to the first mention of JKR's little bombshell. Congrats, you're the first one I've stumbled upon.
Lots of plot building stuff going on. Fun stuff. Looking forward to the next chapter.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. It wasn't as light hearted as the previous chapters, but that was unavoidable. Couldn't resist the jab at book 7 any more than I can resist jabs at book 6. They're just that mockable. Next chapter in 2-3 weeks.~Jim
mjc posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 8:01am
Interesting...
Where to begin?
Hermy-fun-bags (oops wrong story)= Lily/RJ(female)? Umm..yeah, I guess that would crush any kind of romantic leanings.
The Hat as a rubber? Probably thought it was a good idea, if it wasn't being used by a demented elf...now if HJ wanted to be really mean, he could always threaten the Hat with a trip through Aunt Petunia's washing machine, with Dudley being the unclothed one nearby.
The whole Crouch/Moody thing...nicely played. Also a nice redirection there. The Map didn't lie, both Crouch and Moody were in the room, but neither one was the person HJ thought they were.
A couple of technical matters...
In the first half of the chapter there is a their/they're error.
And shouldn't the Galleon in "The blood seeps out of the Galleon sized hole..." be a capital G?
JBern replied:
Somebody pointed out that it didn't have to necessarily be a hetro dobby relationship which would leave the hat in a rather undesireable place. Barty figured Harry Potter would check the map, so he brought the real Moody into his class and had him play Barty Senior.
Yeah couple errors. Thanks for mentioning them. I'll add them to my list.~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 7:13am
That was a well staged fight with Moody and Crouch jr. You continue to hold my interest and enjoyment. Thanks for writing. W.
JBern replied:
I pride myself on delivering "real" feeling fight scenes. Thank you for the compliment.~Jim
GinnyLover posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 7:08am
Love the story so far! Cant wait to see all the tasks and the other competitions you will run. Very few authors have anything other than canon tasks and none of them have other competitions going on(which only makes sense to have going on)
Please update faster! :)
JBern replied:
Sorry, we'll only post chapters when they're ready. I'd rather be known for quality than quantity these days, but the next installment should be done in 2-3 weeks.~Jim
Voldemort is Dead posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 7:08am
Great chapter! I really like this HJP! Keep up with the good work!
JBern replied:
Thank you. I'll do my best.~Jim
jgkitarel posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 7:05am
Well, you definitely have a way with words. The sarcasm of this Harry is nice as well
JBern replied:
I have to credit IP82 with rewording the Hat's insult about Dumbledore and his dubious transfiguration skills.~Jim
Jon Cottrell posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 6:56am
i look forward to the next chapter (of anything by you) with bated breath
JBern replied:
Turn Me Loose 5 in 1-2 weeks. Lie 10 in 2-3 weeks.~Jim
Muad'Dib posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 6:51am
Once again you keep us wanting for more. I'm not going to cry like a 12-year old who has too much spare time and thinks grown ups are the same but I'm sure you catch my drift (though sometimes I find myself hard to understand).
The plot thickens. Egging on Hermyo-nin-eee is always good for a laugh or two and 'anal seepage' goes in my booklet for drunken nights down at the pub. Too bad you didn't get round to bringing in some more Fleur and her haughty squabbles or the actual start of the tournament, but we can probably expect it next time.
Now that you have mentioned it, Pettigrew does indeed seem a tad Abba-esque. No idea why, just one of those things that are better left unsaid.
With Crouch Jr and Winky out of the way, you are making things increasingly difficult for yourself. At least HJ now has some ammunition against Hermione when she starts S.P.E.W-ing again. Can you make Elven welfare a topic during th Triwizard debates, pretty please? I do wonder if your sticking with canon on the portkey in the maze thing or if ol' Tommy-boy will show his ugly mug in some other insidious way.
The Sorting Hat with Myrtle idea deserves more in debt pondering. I reckon it's definitely into that kind of stuff, so maybe a good prank when it runs its mouth against HJ?
Cheers!
JBern replied:
Of course I like Abba too, but yeah, Peter does seem like an Abba fan doesn't he? There was actually a long debate on Alpha Fight Club before we settled on anal seepage. I'd have loved to put Fleur in this chapter, but that would have added several thousand words to an already long chapter and would have delayed things until the weekend. She'll be all over next chapter.
I'm sure Hermione will debate creature rights at some point. No portkey in the maze. I'll have something better lined up. I promise it'll be violent too!
Next installment of this one in 2-3 weeks.~Jim
b sands posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 6:48am
Sir, you are a credit to fanfic writers around. This is such a great tangent to the canon stories, I find myself waiting for your installments than waiting for mail on deployment. thanks for your contribution and keep the flow going!
JBern replied:
Thank you for the compliments. I hope whereever you are deployed you are safe and well (8 and 1/2 years in the US Navy for myself). I will do my utmost to keep impressing you readers.
Regards,
Jim
Jearom posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 6:45am
I smell win. This just gets better and better. Keep it coming JBern!
JBern replied:
I smell other things, but that's the price of having a big lunch. :-)
Thanks for the review.~Jim
Louise Postlethwaite posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 6:34am
Love this chap, it was a great deal of fun to read.
JBern replied:
Thank you very much. Hopefully, I will continue to impress you.~Jim
drewz05 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 6:24am
Awesome story. I wish you'd concentrate solely on this one because I think it has the potential to be your best yet. Keep up the great work!
JBern replied:
Nah, can't leave the Turn Me Loose folks in a bind, but I am holding off putting up new stories to prevent me from getting distracted from these two stories.~Jim
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 6:07am
Awsome chapter! I can't believe that this fic is so good. You have two fics that are just awesome.
I loved the line about Dumbles couldn't love his own voice more if he transfigured it into a pussy or maybe a prick. The way that all worked just had me such stitches.
The fight with Moody was superb and killing of Winky was cool. She can get annoying with so many fics having her marrying Dobby and coming to work for rich Harry.
Liked Harry's story for dumbledore. The reunion with Sirius at the end of brilliant to. Absolutely wicked.
Thanks for writing, can't wait for more!
Monkey
JBern replied:
Wow between you and rune1806, Winky isn't getting any love here. Credit goes to IP82 for the Dumbledore/transfiguration line. My original was too wordy. He cut it down and put it into final obnoxious form.
Glad you enjoyed the chapter so much. TML 5 in 1-2 weeks Lie 10 in 2-3 weeks.~Jim
rune1806 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 6:07am
The fight with Barty was wild, Winky was a great touch. The "deal" was masterfull, well done. Shit spider lol where were you when you thought up that one? Bring Black in was interesting I look forward to seeing what you do with that. Is Winky dead? I hope so, she is the only one with less brains than Ron.
JBern replied:
Where do you think I was when I came up with the fecal arachnids? Yes Winky is dead. We hardly knew her...
Glad you liked the backroom politics.~Jim
Renzo7 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 5:55am
Awesome work, love that sense of humor! keep it going and please update soon.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Next installment of this one in 2-3 weeks.~Jim
DiscountNinja posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 5:47am
Awesome sauce! Liking it!
Can't wait to see the next chapter (of anything you're writing for that matter)
It was great to see some of Harry interacting with people James would have known rather than jsut his friends.
JBern replied:
Lie chapter 10 in 2-3 weeks. TML chapter 5 in 1-2 weeks. See you then.~Jim
Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 5:15am
Great chapter. Interesting that Barty, Jr. is out of the way so early. That was a good fight scene, by the way. I'm looking forward to watching HJ and Sirius blindside everyone else. It should be fun. Keep up the excellent work, and good luck on your original stuff.
Jay
JBern replied:
Honestly Crouch Jr. shouldn't have lasted so long in canon. I know I'd be paranoid as hell that someone entered me in a tournament. Thanks for the good lucks. I'll take all I can get.~Jim
biged78 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 5:10am
The more I read, the more I like.
JBern replied:
Good to hear that. Next chapter in 2-3 weeks.~Jim
Meghan posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 5:05am
WooT! HJ and Paddy will rock the boat, I see it now. :D
JBern replied:
Nah they didn't like "rock the boat." Sirius was a big Stones fan and James liked Clapton.
Jim
gadriam posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 8:18am
JBern replied: