By JBern
Reviews
biged78 posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 4:54am
Interesting premise.
JBern replied:
Thanks~Jim
Matt T posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 12:40am
Her name isn't Virginia!! Sorry, just kidding. I have to say, you are one of the few authors (along with Bobmin, Jeconais and Viridian) who's stories infuriate me. As you may have guessed, it ain't through lack of quality... more through the fact that I can never decide which story I like best. Then you go and release a chapter for another story just as I seem to decide.... ARGH!! Keep em comin, I don't even care what story updates next anymore!!! Anything will do!
JBern replied:
Wait until I put out TML 4 and then you'll be saying that is your favorite story! Glad my work impresses you.~Jim
AK posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 5:23pm
Before any seriousness in my review let me just say: OMG Awsome!!!!
I swear I am not a fan girl (heck I'm not even a girl) but I think this story is excellent.
Now on with the review. The thing I like the most in your stories is the characterization. You really get to know the characters in your story and even if they are somewhat secondary (like Oliver or Penny) you still feel as if you met the person. I think that's what really sets you apart from the other authors I've read stories of.
That's not to say that the plot is bad or unoriginal, just that your stories are always more character driven than plot driven. If that made any sense.
Though I am starting to kinda wonder how is this going to end up Harry/Fleur. Lots of grudge sex?
There are some parts that didn't seem to fit for me though. I think the most prominent is the reaction of the rest of Gryffindor house. I can understand that the whole Katie situation might have set the house somewhat against him, but I think the reaction they had was somewhat too extreme.
And what always surprises me is that there seems to be no way out of the tournament. How silly is that? Why would anyone create a tournament you can't forfeit out of? What if you get hurt in such a way you can't compete anymore? What if war were declared between France and Britain? That just doesn't make any sense to me. I guess you could counter that the wizarding world really doesn't always make sense.
Well looking forward to the next chapter.
JBern replied:
In my thread on the forum side here and on Darklordpotter, I discuss why I had such a strong reaction from the Gryffindor house. Read it and see what you think.
HJ and Fleur will develop slowly and hopefully realistically. Glad you enjoy the story so much.~Jim
millercommamatt posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 3:55pm
I think you have your character polarization knob turned to 11. I'm impressed with how extreme the reactions your Harry manages to trigger are. The real GoF is a book of subtly and intrigue. In comparison to Harry and the Hat's dealings, blowing up the moon would be considered a subtle action. Nevertheless, this story is interesting and entertaining and has me waiting for the next installment.
JBern replied:
I prefer overt a-holes over subtle ones. Think about Harry like the people the tabloids follow. His peers probably feel that they have the right to judge HJP for his actions, just like the people feel the need to comment on Britney Spears and so on.~Jim
Superninjamonkey posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 3:21pm
Excellent. To Fight the Coming Darkness was pretty good, but I love this story's style and origionality, looking foreward to more.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. More coming soon.~Jim
Erik Wiggins posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 3:04pm
Great Update, Please have the relationship with Ron patched up. Ron always seems to be a bad friend in Fan Fic. Well, whichever way you are going, I am just happy to be along for the ride. Thank you for a wonderful story an update soon!
JBern replied:
No promises about Ron. He was a pretty good friend in Darkness, but maybe not so much here.~Jim
pyrodaemon posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 2:59pm
Aww it was a great chapter. I have to say that I like Hat more and more as time goes by, even if he's still really not my cup of tea - but beggers can't be choosers or whatever the saying is.
As always your writing style leaves me gaping, I still don't understand how you manage to make me hate characters that I really love *shakes head* must me a gift or some such.
Skeeter is, as always, a bloodthirsty hag. So Fleur's a tart, uh? *laughs* I still don't like her, even after she was 'redeemed' in the Seventh book - though I like her well enough in your other story.
I wonder what Molly Weasley will have to say when she reads the news. I wonder how many Howlers she'll send, or if Arthur will stop her.
It still mostly amazes me that people could believe so little of a person that they turn to nothing but rumors as a source of fact. I suppose that's because I don't believe anything unless I get it from the horses mouth, but I've always wondered if people really do turn on each other as easily as they turn on Harry.
I like Neville in this story for the most part, though I still think he should do some more growing up. He's still a little shaky in the 'I'm not a little boy anymore' department.
Have a nice week, I hope to see more from your soon.
Cheers!
JBern replied:
I'd like to say I've had a good week, but I'd be lying. I've been busy with real life, but maybe I'll catch a break this weekend.
Glad I can provoke a response from you. Hopefully, I'll be able to bring that into my original writings. Agree about Neville, but at the same time I cringe when reading stories where just getting him a wand of his own undos years of self-esteem issues.~JIm
KenF posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 1:03pm
You know, living with that ^&@#%@$ hat would be pretty annoying, but reading about him is a blast. Thanks for the laughs.
JBern replied:
HJ is probably still regretting his choice. Thanks for reviewing.~Jim
QOShea posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 12:56pm
Good to see another chapter of this fic! Some pure Rita skeeze in that article, good work. Looking forward to the next chapter.
JBern replied:
What can I say? I love writing as Rita.~Jim
Infin1x posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 10:45am
Very nicely done. This is still listed as Harry/Fleur but it seems like that is going to be an uphill battle. Because even if you go with a Second Task kind of situation HP doesn't really seem like the type to do the pointless heroics thing, well unless you use the cliched Merfolk-Veela mortal enemies or something else going very wrong.
JBern replied:
No Merfolk and Veela mortal enemies thing here unless I change my mind. I've got something else up my sleeve.~Jim
vasilis01 posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 8:25am
Nice Chapter. Keep updating. I like your story so far and i can't wait to see what you are going to cook up next.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Next chapter due out around Xmas.~Jim
helsmaid posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 6:51am
love this one . please keep writtting
JBern replied:
Next chapter due out around Xmas. Must do TML first.~Jim
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 4:54am
Outstanding chapter!!!! So are you going to have Harry take Hermione to the dance? What are all of the tasks for the tournament? Do keep up the outstanding work and update soon please!:):):):)
JBern replied:
Well you know what the first one is. Isn't that enough? I've mentioned a few others in my forum on this site. Check there.~Jim
Disobedience posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 3:29am
I agree with your comments in the reviews to this chapter about the idea of the Triwizard being better than the canon execution of the idea. I love to see stories that try to improve upon the canon version, so I'm very interested to see where you take this...and how you avoid making this plot just window-dressing for Voldemort's return.
The one thing I especially enjoy about this story (and your others, as well) is that you've made the main characters smarter (Moody/Crouch, for example), the side players more obviously ridiculous and frustrating (Gryffindors, Draco and his Slytherins), and the whole thing move along faster. Canon Draco, save for the 6th book, always seemed too lazy, stupid, and obvious to make a good villain inside the school -- you've opted to make him a clown instead, good choice.
I fully expect some great tasks...and some dealing out of revenge. I hope HJ will destroy the Dursley reputation, drown Rita Skeeter in her animagus form (flushed down the toilet!), and perhaps deal with Voldemort while the creature is still a disgusting little monster.... I think your Viktor is shaping up to be a possible mini-villain and perhaps Karkaroff will need dealing with, along with whatever you have cooked up for Snape. It will be interesting to see how HJ decides to outmanuever Moody/Crouch regarding the Map (no Marauder would ever turn over something that useful to *the man*).
I hope I'm safe in assuming you intend this 4th year story to wrap up the Voldemort storyline. I always enjoy stories that compact everything down (don't think JKR had enough actual plot to fill seven books...).
It's a favorite story of mine. I look forward to what comes next.
JBern replied:
Wow you folks are making it hard to keep up with replies. Thanks! I hope to deliver the tasks you are looking for. In one of the threads on the ffa forum I discuss some of the tasks I have in mind.
The next chapter will clear several things up. I hope to deliver serious Crouch smackdown and hopefully a thrilling broomrace as the first task.
I'll make no guarantees that the storyline will be complete in one story. I will guarantee that what I deliver will be a complete story. How's that for a confusing statement?
Jim
PerfesserN posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 2:51am
I was purusing the reviews and was reminded of something when one reviewer simply said, "Gotta love Hat."
The image of Vaughn Bodé's Cheech Wizard sprang to mind.
Is hat based on that character or is this just one of those neat cosmic coincidences?
Remember Cheech was depicted as foul mouthed, often drunk or high, and constantly on the make. His attitude towards his fellow residents of the magic forest in which he lived (generally talking male animals and human females, the latter invariably under-dressed) was usually one of contempt. Curiously, he was referred to (often by himself) as the Cartoon Messiah, which suggested Bode's long-standing interest in religion. But his general reaction to anyone that annoyed him (and the list there is quite long) was to deliver a swift kick to the groin.
Any connection? A distant cousin perhaps?
N!
JBern replied:
No clue what you are talking about. The only Cheech I know of involves comedy movies with a partner called Chong.
For the Hat, I imagined Sam Kinnison as a magical artifact. The man was a classic insult comic.~Jim
Fishburne posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 12:52am
I guess I just have to comment again.
JBern, in each of your stories, your HP is radically different. Differing personalities, different tone, and still, completely believable.
Your characterizations border on the sublime, and what I mean by that is that you draw the reader in so completely and utterly, that you cant help but see things through that character's eyes - or hat flap as the case may be.
I find myself hoping - and I am a pretty big Gred and Forge fan - that you have HJ hammer them at some point.
Ron - feh - Ron is Ron is Ron. Never has a more fair weathered friend existed. in all of Fanon and Canon - its a constant. What you pulled in here smacks of brilliance, and I hope that the point that HJ drove home changes that a bit.
Skeeter is perfect. Bold, vivacious, with a more than a hint of malice and slime.
Early on you claimed this would end up as a HJ/Fleur pairing, and with the animosity shown so far...I can't wait to see how you pull it all together.
Your writing captures the essence of what great writers try to evoke in ever story. Feeling and a desire to read the next chapter.
I for one, cannot wait to see your original works.
Fish
JBern replied:
You just like making me write. :-)
I'll have to come up with something suitably nasty for Fred and George - worthy of an irritated Marauder.
It'll be HJ and Fleur, but that'll take a good deal of time and it won't involve the words Veela Mate used together in the same sentence - unless it's "She part Veela, mate."
Hopefully, I can bring that same level to my original works.~Jim
Fishburne posted a comment on Thursday 29th November 2007 12:37am
MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!
He shoots he scores!
Another fantastic chapter, and my, isnt rita and the hat a lovely pair?
Fish
JBern replied:
Like Sonny and Cher only after the messy divorce. Glad you enjoyed.~Jim
koppe posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 11:03pm
Great story so far.
I love the Hat, hope it'll be able to help Harry -- and continue to chew out people while doing so.
I must admit I look forward to Harry and Fleurs duel (hope it's Harry's first), and hope Fleur gets her pretty little a** handed to her by Harry.
Keep up the great work, and please update soon.
JBern replied:
I'm still trying to decide if it's Fleur or Krum he fights first. Either one will be interesting.~Jim
busted posted a comment on Wednesday 28th November 2007 9:02pm
Amusing as ever good job :D As always i cant wait for the next update. So get writting :P
"It’ll be days before I can look at Madame Maxime without thinking about what she would do to Flitwick."
Cracked me up there. Ewwww human dildo.. well thats what i thought of anyway. It made it funnier that you left it up to the reader to picture what Madime Maxime could do to Flitwick
I hope we dont have to wait to long till the tasks start and also Harry starts to break down fleurs perception of harry as just some rude and incompetant little boy. I like watching Harry come out on top in the arguments.
Well I look forward till next time. Bye
JBern replied:
Well, I leave alot of statements like that open ended and up to the reader. Apparently, you have a naughty little mind. The first task is in the next chapter as are several other things. Look for it before Xmas.~Jim
biged78 posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 4:55am
JBern replied: