Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 4:37am

Wow, this grabbed ahold and kept me at the edge the whole section. From the fight with Barty Jr and the aftermath with Winky buying it, and the political manuevers, it looks like Harry is in for a lot. That last talk with Sirius, now that just made a lot of sense, and should be interesting to see how that plays out later on. Good to see that he and Katie are at least sort of made up, well, she likely won't hate him anyway, but Anelina and Alicia will probably be trouble for a bit longer, and will be wondering what'll happen with F&G in the future.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliment.   He gave Katie the brush off, but tried to be as nice as possible.   The others won't be so lucky.~Jim

a_wanderer posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 4:26am

I've been away from this story for awhile. It was a fun read then now it becoming a good read. Well done.

JBern replied:

Welcome back.   Glad it continues to impress you.~Jim

ahsun92 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 4:24am

Hoo yeah! Kick some ass!!!!
Great chapter keep it up!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Lie 10 in 2-3 weeks.   TML 5 in 1-2 weeks.~Jim

mathiasgranger posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 4:20am

Fun chapter and the final scene with Harry and Sirius was really quite excellent. I would rank it as one of my favorite scenes from you to date.

The duel with Crouch Jr., Sr., Winky, and the entire defense classroom was well done also. Of course your action scenes are routinely among the best I've ever read in fanfiction or fiction.

I caught a couple of minor errors and figured I'd give you a heads up in case you wanted to fix them.

"When my readers here about this attempted cover up, Minister, you’ll be lucky if they don’t run you out of the country."

I imagine you meant to use hear instead of here in the sentence above.

If they tried to make me captain, Angelina would lead a revolt which Fred and George as part of it.

'With' instead of 'which' here?

Thanks for writing,
Matt

JBern replied:

Thanks for pointing those out.   I'll fix them at some point.   I appreciate the compliment about the fight scenes.   Now if I can just win the lottery so I can spend all my time writing.~Jim

Alex00 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 3:53am

Great chapter I can not wait for more.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Next chapter in 2-3 weeks.~Jim

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 3:53am

"We need to discuss payment for my advisory services, HJ - five hundred galleons and a trip to Italy."

LOL! He's got the cash and the hat does deserve more then just a swift kick.

Great chapter. I think having Harry/James as one person is really going to help poor Padfoot's mental state. He always had a bit of a thing as seeing them as the same person in canon anyway.

JBern replied:

Glad the Hat continues to entertain with it's antics.   Next chapter in 2-3 weeks and much more Fleur Delacour coming up.~Jim

Roberta Johnson posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 3:51am

This just keeps getting better and better, I can't wait for more!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I hope to continue to deliver quality entertainment.~Jim

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 3:46am

This was an excellent chapter. I am glad that he is back with his house, relatively, anyway. If McGonagall gets word of Harry's vow to never fly for Johnson, she'll make Katie the captain. When you had the Headmaster looking at the map and toward Harry, I thought it was over, as I am sure you meant it to appear. Good job.

Thank you for writing.

Mike (MoA)

JBern replied:

Thanks.   HJ will tolerate most people in his house.   The twins, Angie and the others involved in the Censure notsomuch, but you get the idea.

It was over - for Rita that is...~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 3:41am

Long review this time, so a deep breath and here we go:

So good to see this continued, as always. LOL at Malfoy being like a persistent rash and even more so at Harry driving off all the other bints by dating Myrtle. The Bloody Baron is a delight. Part of the reason I look forward to your original novel is how you take barely mentioned characters expand them into pure delights of vicious fiction.

Poor HJ must be so confused when it comes to Lupin now as part of him must want to strangle him and the other part must just see his mentor. Harry’s potions and prank ideas are vicious but not undeserved.

LOL at Harry being honoured at the Hat trying to impress him with truly filthy language. Lovely idea for Fleur to be a champion broom racer. I think Harry is finally becoming as dirty minded as the hat with the condom idea (it does make the mind boggle a bit). I was thrilled to see Harry twig that Moody was an impostor so fast and that a real fight (with plenty of nice inventive spells) ensued. I was surprised by you using Winky to hurt Harry so badly but then again Dobby really was quite good in a fight against Lucius. The Hat as always provides so much needed comic relief when he worried about bloodstains. Fantastic fight scene, excellently bloody and gory without descending into stupidly-big power displays.

The infirmary scene was another excellent one. I love the way Harry is still beset by all the evils of bureaucracy. The early introduction of Skeeter was also brilliant. The Sorting Hat’s requests made me giggle. It was a great piece of always welcome comic relief integrated with a serious drive to further the plot. LOL at the Freedom line.

Positively cackled at Hermione as the female version of Remus Lupin. Harry’s brush off of Katie was also very well done. Nice way of showing that HJ is a truly different personality to either of his constituent progenitors. Loved Harry telling Sirius he’d be prank him by telling him he had Lily’s memories and was gender confused. Not sure if the Caesar comparison quite works as he only conquered England temporarily and left it to Claudius to do the hard graft of enslaving the people and building sewer systems but loved the line anyway.

Fantastic chapter as always. So good to see HJ kicking arse and getting Sirius sorted out. With even two of the Marauders back together, Dumbledore should be cowering behind the Hat and with HJ on form, Voldie won’t know what hit him. More please.

PS - Small grammar error in the paragraph about the twins and the age line "They don’t know what they're up against" not "their up against".

JBern replied:

Ah but the Caesar line works if you think that Caesar came back from Gaul with an army to Rome which knew if they didn't put him in charge, he'd use that army...

The Baron, I enjoy doing clever things with minor characters and yes at some point he'll probably square off against the Geist that haunts Karkaroff's ship.

Thanks for pointing out the grammar error.   Winky   was every bit as fanatically loyal to Master Barty as Dobby is to HJ.   I wanted him to see the other side of the coin, especially since he is somewhat wary of the Dobster in this one.

Fleur's not a champion broom racer, but she does rank inside the top 15 in Europe.   Aimee doesn't rank nearly as high, but she is also very good.   HJ will have his hands full next chapter and not in a good way either.

 

cmatbmed posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 3:33am

"He couldn’t love the sound of his voice more if he could Transfigure it into a pussy … or maybe a prick — there’s always been a rumor or two about Albus Dumbledore."

LMAO at that line. The guy in the next cuube asked what was wrong.

Great story keep up the good work.

JBern replied:

Careful.   Don't get busted at work.   Glad you liked it.~Jim

The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 3:33am

Another enjoyable piece of work. The Hat and Harry make a good team. They should go on the road together :)

JBern replied:

If they do get out on the road the first stop is the Veela Spa in Tuscany.   :-)

Jim

amulder posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 2:50am

fun fun fun. What a crazy rollercoaster you've got going here.

The confrontation with Moody was a bit unexpected, but it was pulled off wonderfully. Winky was delightfully mad.

The scene in the hospital totally blew me away. I did not at all expect that bit of politicking, but boy, it was sure well done, and best of all... it just had a real ring of believability to it. And Rita, lovely Rita Skeeter, that was delicious.

Hmm, you know, this may actually end up in Fudge becoming somewhat competent. Or at least somewhat surrounded by competence instead of bribery. It would be a bit too bad if he came out (of the overall story) smelling like roses, but it might turn out to be the best for Harry to have a friend in the Minister. He may be a bit easier to fool, by HJ, for one thing.

I didn't expect Harry to come clean with Padfoot. Not at all. I hope he's good at Occlumency. Nice little side scene with Remus, by the way. That is going to continue to be awkward, and I rather like it.

As for the overarching story... I don't think you'll tell us, but I do wonder just how many people HJ will ever actually confide in. Probably not many, as how many would he be able to convince as he convinced Padfoot? It would actually be kind of cool for Dumbledore to spend the whole story in the dark. As for Snape... no, that would not be a good thing, as he'd then have justification for his mistreatment of Harry. Hermione/Ron ?? nah. That friendship is cooling. No, I take that back, He looks to be rebuilding with Hermione, and he should be a good maturing influence on her. And then there is Remus... I dunno there. If Harry plans to forgive the man, then it may be best to just never bring it up. Because boy would that be a messing scene.

and I should wrap that up now.

Thanks for sharing, keep up the good work.
Thanks also for toning down the hat a bit. I found the never ending profanity of the hat in the early chapters to be tiring and offputting. Glad to focus more on other plot points now.

thanks
...art

JBern replied:

Thank you for the long review.   I figured that HJ should see first hand what a psychotic house elf would do in defense of a master and it felt appropriate.

The scene in the infirmary kept growing, but it was a necessity.   This simply couldn't be ignored.   It was too big and like most compromises, no one truly won, but everyone was compensated in some way shape or form, so they didn't loose.

Because the HJ and Remus scene would be messy is a reason it will probably happen.   You know you want to see the trainwreck...

Imagine what will happen if HJ ever runs into the Brother Wand effect and encounters Lily.

Thank you for the compliments and taking the time for a long and detailed review.~Jim

bigzj51 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 2:49am

This story rocks so much face its hard to put into words.

JBern replied:

Thanks.~Jim

jono74656 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 2:37am

Bloody Marvellous!!

A nice way to tie up the Crouch arc, and get the Sirius/Pettigrew thing back up in the air.

I love the Hat as a character, it really does deserve the capital letter. It's nice to see It's free, and I do like his request a la Veela!

Really don't see how this is gonna turn into a Harry/Fleur, but I'm sure you'll pull something amazing out of your hat...... as usual!!

Can't wait for the next chappy!!

J

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.   There's no way that Crouch Jr should have lasted as long as he did in the real book four.   I may have to use 500 galleons and a trip to Italy for the title to the epilogue of this story if it goes that route.   Still a long way to go before that though!

Jim

Amit Patel posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 2:31am

Excellent story and really refreshing. I don't think I have ever seen a story quite like this before. I love your characterisation of the Sorting hat and HJ in particular.

I look forward to seeing how you write a confrontation between the twins and HJ and of course Voldie against HJ.

Furthermore I want to see how you get HJ and Fleur together. I hope it is not a clichéd HJ saves Gabrielle and therefore Fleur falls in love with HJ.

JBern replied:

I promise it won't be the usual underwater rescue thing that brings them together.   Glad you like it.   Next chapter in 2-3 weeks.~Jim

Jon posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 2:19am

I'll be looking forward to the conversation between Remus and HJ. Looking at your past works, I can't help but wonder how Remus would turn out to be. Hope he can come off honest and apologize before HJ drops the bombshell...

JBern replied:

I plan to work Remus in there somewhere and I'll try to give that bit the justice it deserves.   Next installment of this on in 2-3 weeks.~Jim

Shawn Cullipher posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 2:18am

That's en effing awesome chapter. I think with this chapter you've edged Bungle out of it's spot as my all time favorite Harry Potter story.

JBern replied:

We'll see about that when I put the next chapter of Turn Me Loose out!   Next installment of this one in 2-3 weeks.~Jim

kainboa posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 2:17am

great chapter as usual, can't wait to see what happens next.

keep up the great work :)

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Next chapter in 2-3 weeks.~Jim

morriganscrow posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 1:58am

Damn! This a mucho good story!
I do so prefer the kick arse Harry, rather than the simpering little twat in the books, who should never have had a bloody chance against Voldy in a million years.
Any chance of pairing HJ with Tonks? If you could, then have Sirius and Remus discover their passion for each other, I'll be your fan for life! *grin*

JBern replied:

Thanks, but this is still a HJ/Fleur story, though we could see a bit of Tonks down the line.   We'll see.~Jim

Frederick Herriot posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 1:48am

This is getting better every chapter along the way. Nice work!

JBern replied:

Thank you very much.   Next installment in 2-3 weeks.~Jim