By JBern
Reviews
liquidfyre posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 6:53pm
Very nice i love Hagrid's new name.
Im glad your still updating as i was a bit worried already to be honest, thinking that something really was wrong with you this time heh.
Now Update soon or i shall have to send you some very candid shot of myself and well to be honest im rather hairy and ya might not enjoy it.
*grins* Keep up the good work.
JBern replied:
That's just wrong...
I'm almost done with Lie 13. More of this one coming soon.~Jim
Minerva Granger posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 6:29pm
Very nice. Also very interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter, and I congratulate you on a GREAT fic. Now get going on Lie, would you? Oh, by the way, the 'funny African language' is Swahili. Thanks!
JBern replied:
As you can see, it's catch up on review reply day here at my house. Lie 13 is almost done.~Jim
reimanr06 posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 3:21pm
I thought Dumbledore was the frickin man in this chapter. I'm actually on his side. All teenagers need a good slap upside the head from time to time when they are acting foolish (I should know, I've been one for the past 6 years!)
JBern replied:
I'm not a huge fan of "rollover and take it" versions of Dumbledore. I want the man to have some spine. After all, there's a reason he's the only one Voldemort ever feared...
Thanks for the review.~Jim
MonCappy posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 1:49am
Dumbledore may be a manipulative little prick; but he certainly humiliated Harry with style. Susan Bones is a whiny little bitch who needs to rely on herself instead of expecting Harry to be her savior.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review and kudos for the avatar on DLP. I enjoyed using Susan in this story to illustrate the unrealistic expectations of all the Hogwarts students, especially in light of her role in my other story.
Regards,
Jim
Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 12:42am
Welcome back! Very entertaining chapter. Not sure what Dumbledore was hoping to achieve by turning Harry into a footrest, but it was pretty funny. And of course Hack and Hagrid's grand adventures were too. But I can't wait till Fleur and Luna get together- that should be great. Thanks for writing, and good luck with your original stuff. I know I'll be looking into it.
Jay
JBern replied:
Harry thinks he knows what AD is up to. Only time will tell. Thanks for the review.~Jim
The Crow posted a comment on Tuesday 20th May 2008 12:29pm
The conscious doormat-ish metaphor thing was a sharp kick in the groin.
It does seem like a jump, but his flat 2D character before this really grated me.
He was simply the conflict - fuel to the fire, and while Harry was in the jungle and Albus in the background it seemed to smooth over nicely.
Then we come back to an Albus unregretably manipulating Harry for his own means and only peeved it all hit the fan.
It was a sad read really, especially when Harry gave him verbal beatings in his little monologues like an Indy Harry does(despite your work on this, the speeches do flow a little unaturally maybe make them a little less robotic, add more detail or something - I digress) but basically he was the emotionless Headmaster attempting to assert control over his puppet.
To see his more manic side, and his drive for power. Well, now he is a force to be reckoned with, rather than 'Oh Harry'
I saw a return to form, and now judging it with what we've seen so far is getting interesting.
Things aren't so swell, and even in his own playground there are plenty of tasks at hand you can't wave off.
Dumbledores attack threw me right off, had me questioning who it was, and now what his motivations are. The first time that I've actually been hooked in TML, along with the oath.
It's obvious in his eyes that Harry is a pawn - but to see him wrench control like that. Shows me that Dumbledore is higher on the priority list, more than mere nuisance.
Bogdan's starwars reference is interesting. Didn't consider Albus may have considered Black Library also.
Ginny confrontation was just right. Having her guilt out, or having Harry leave with a sense of smugness, retribution or whatever just wouldn't work. Anti climactic is great. Harry has to grow up, and he's realising she's not worth his time. Merely a background character.
Snape is interesting, Harry has given the odd whipping here and there. But maybe your steering clear of fanfic vent on Snape? Even with nothing but contempt, it's interesting there's a third party to confide in.
Harry's relationship so far has been so-so, but may be a little strained with all that's going on. I'm predicting vulnerable Luna to lash out at some point.
I'm feeling a litle Harry/Hermione tension... it's interesting... I had a feeling this scene was gonna be written at some point by you Jim, you dog.
Lastly enjoyed the Hack/Hagrid debauchery goings-on, was a nice ease into the chapter.
Welcome back! Best of luck with dead eye, was worth the wait - quality chapter man.
Havent felt this "wordy" with regards to a fic in ages.
Cheers.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the long review. Finally catching up on all my replies. I want you folks hating AD. The better I capture this version of him the more you will.
You have a good prediction about a vulnerable feeling Luna. She's pretty socially stunted and Harry's antics would test even the most mature 15 yr old. Expect a bumpy ride.
Regards,
Jim
Puck1 posted a comment on Tuesday 20th May 2008 10:32am
Nice job so far. Keep up the good work...I can't wait to see DD's face.
JBern replied:
Neither can I, but I just can't seem to write any faster....
Thanks for the review.~Jim
Infin1x posted a comment on Tuesday 20th May 2008 9:30am
I'm a fan of your writing and the way you almost go out of your way to challenge the norm and I know I can always come to you for bitter and angry characters but sometimes you go a bit to far.
Bungle was great because while Harry was bitter and angry (with reason) it was more about Harry growing and experiencing life. Here in TML the return to Hogwarts has just brought out all of Harry's uglier traits. I am always up for tweaking Dumbles' nose and my opinion of the wizarding world in general in less than complimentary but this chapter actually made me dislike Harry. The "making a little girl cry" felt a bit off but then after what Ginny did... But the going off on Susan Bones, while I could agree with the sentiment, felt like the moral equivalent of kicking a little kid while their crying about losing their lollipop.
Also I really dislike cheering for Dumbles, but when he transfigured Harry my first thought was about how uncalled for his attack on Snape was even if it was Snape because he had actually been attempting to help in a selfless a manner as Snape is capable.
So here's hoping that this will be a turning point for Harry and he either comes to the conclusion himself or someone beats it into him that he has been out of line.
JBern replied:
I agree with you. Harry wasn't that likeable in this chapter. As Luna aptly pointed out, he's rubbish at social situations and he's actually trying. In previous stories (ie canon) Harry's been a socially inept wizard who feels ill at ease in the limelight. That can't change overnight. Compare his lashing out at Susan with berating Ron and Hermione at the beginning of book 5.
Anyway, I'm glad I was able to evoke a reaction out of you even if it is I am disliking the main character. Throughout Bungle you saw things only through Harry's eyes. Now you're getting the equivalent of a good look in the mirror at the Harry *you've* become and it should be a bit unsettling.
Regards,
Jim
Rexnos posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 3:35pm
I like the whole attention drawing bit of the life-debt idea. It's a logical reason for why Ginny became so addicted to Harry even when Harry wasn't paying attention to her. It really bugs me that I can never come up with original ideas like that one. It means I feel guilty if I use them in the piece I'm trying to write.
Of course, it pretty much impossible to be entirely original. If you're writing Harry Potter fan fiction, chances are you're going to copy someone, whether you know it or not.
Regardless, another good update. The whole Hagrid, Hack and the trolls thing was pleasantly revolting and left some wonderfully horrible imagery in my mind. Hack is too awesome for words. I mean, the chief's wife AND daughter.
Later,
Rex
JBern replied:
Hi Rex,
Glad you enjoyed my take on a life-debt. Don't feel guilty. It's fanfic. Just keep writing and you'll get better.
Hack and Hagrid? Well I like to push the boundaries of good taste every now and again. Considering Hagrid is the offspring of a tryst between a giantess and a human he probably has different views on humanoid sexual relations.
warpwizard posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 12:39pm
Spicy chapter, good stuff.
Hagrid + Hack's romp: oh my god. ...good stuff.
Footstool Harry: I really don't see what DD is trying to accomplish, but whatever. May Harry someday turn him into a pair of socks for Hack.
JBern replied:
Harry thinks he knows what AD was trying to accomplish. Only time will tell. Glad you liked the chapter. More coming soon.~Jim
Matthew Sands posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 9:27am
Full points for not having Dumbledore simply exist as a doormat for Indy/
Superpowered Harry.
Extra Credit for continuing your trend of exploring different aspects and paths of characters in your assorted stories.
And, oh my, it looks like you blew the lid off the curve with the adventures of wrong-hole and dick-hurts.
For a serious though, if we're still following the default timeline, both Snape and Dumbledore know that he's going to die within the year. Which means he needs to shape Harry to move in the right direction before he goes. Pissing him off enough to get himself killed if Harry is still in fact a Horcrux(or if Dumbledore mistakenly believes that he is for that matter) is therefore a worthwhile goal.
However, this time around I don't think we're going to see Harry naming a kid after the two of them regardless of how it plays out.
JBern replied:
You seem to be on to something here Matthew. I can't say that you're a hundred percent right, but there's something to your theory...
Depends, if Harry has enough kids, he might run out of names and be forced to use one of them...
Regards,
Jim
Donald McLeod posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 8:10am
Oh Wow!! First Hagred now ' "What’s a little borderline Necromancy among friends?" ' This jest to good for words.
Thank you
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. More coming soon.~Jim
TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 4:08am
Good chapter.
gunny
JBern replied:
Thanks.~Jim
TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 2:57am
Very good chapter.
gunny
JBern replied:
Thanks again.~Jim
Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 2:36am
Welcome back! Nice chapter.
Not sure what Dumbledore was trying to say to Harry except that Harry was still under Dumbledore's control.
The beach was interesting; Not sure if the Room of Requirement is that powerful, but then again, JKR never said it wasn't so....
Thanks for the update. Looking forward to more of your work.
Tom A.
JBern replied:
Well, the RoR created a tunnel to Hogsmeade in book 7. I don't see how making a little beach is to out of bounds. One of the points I am trying to make is that if people knew about that Room after book 5, there'd likely be someone using it 24/7.
Harry thinks he knows what AD is up to, but can anyone ever be certain?
Thanks as always for the reviews. I really need to catch up on your work as well.
Regards~Jim
Crys posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 1:33am
> Hack raises his head and stares at Hagrid. "She scream ‘Hawg t’rid.’ It troll speak. Means ‘wrong hole’."
This conversation is wrong on so many levels. Funny as hell, but wrong.
AD is a right bastard. If Harry throws a snit, he's proving his own immaturity (and AD can treat him as a child). If Harry doesn't, AD's gotten away with the enforced transfiguration without penalty. Now just have to be creative in the punishment. He's too powerful for a tit-for-tat (into Fawkes's stand perhaps). OTOH, what he did proved his "everything must go my way" attitude. Too bad he'll never acknowledge his hypocrisy.
*frown* Susan should've known better. But with Hannah and her own recent loss, she's a good choice to voice that complaint.
Now, with a blood bag, you realize that you HAVE to have Hermione carry it around? Charging of the wards and all. *innocent smile*
JBern replied:
Finally catching up on replies! Sorry about the whole "Wrong Hole" thing. I like to push the limits of decency every now and then, sometimes I even exceed them. :-)
Glad you like AD as a bastard. I liked the irony of using Susan to illustrate the unrealistic expectations others have of Harry especially given how I used her in TFtCD.
Poor Hermione...
More coming soon. Thanks as always.~Jim
Patches posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 11:23pm
I like this chapter. Harry has a spirited talk with Snape. That didn't go well. Has to rescue Hack. That wasn't enjoyable. Then he has an enjoyable time with Luna after insulting Ginny and gets turned into a footstool by Dumbledore! That was unexpected. Looks like more "fun" is coming. I look forward to more of this storyl. Thanks so much for writing. pms
JBern replied:
Glad you like it.More is coming soon. Lie 13 is almost done and I plan to be back to this one shortly.~Jim
carlelonex posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 7:17pm
Still going strong, hopeing for an update soon
JBern replied:
More coming soon. Probably by June 15th.~Jim
joeBob posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 6:08pm
Thanks for the update.
JBern replied:
You're most welcome. Thanks for the review.~Jim
Minerva Granger posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 6:58pm
JBern replied: