11dan88 posted a comment on Monday 26th November 2007 12:52pm

Well I must congratulate you on having completed another great chapter here.

I love the way that you have Dumbledore characterized. Too often he is portrayed as a senile fool that somehow manages to control the entire world from the back seat.

The bit with Harry and Hermione really went to show just how much you have grown him as a character over the series. If that had happened in say the first half of Bungle she'd have been seriously injured I'd imagine.

As for the comic relief well, GOD wearing Mrs. Norris?!?!? Thats gotta be one of the most original bits that I've seen in awhile. I really couldn't stop laughing at that.

I'll be glad to see another chapter of Lie whenever you get that out.

JBern replied:

Fur is MURDER!     Or something like that.   I'm rather proud of Dumbledore in this story.   I'll be starting on chapter 4 of this one soon and you just got another chapter of Lie.   Hope you enjoyed.~Jim

kainboa posted a comment on Wednesday 14th November 2007 5:24am

great chapter as usual, love how harry doesn't think that snape can teach him anything.

keep up the great work :)

JBern replied:

More coming soon.   Lie chapter 8 first.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Tuesday 13th November 2007 5:27am

Hehe at Draco Stinking Malfoy. I loved the description of the magic storm and the suggestion of a nice cup of tea being out of the question. Poor Katie, being left behind by Pomfrey is rough. Bloodfire is a brilliant concept, almost as enjoyable to read as spell chaining. LOL at Sweet Circe naked on a bed a sight I suspect Harry would enjoy very much. Voldefilch is a great word. I almost feel sorry for Filch, finally he gains power but only through possession by a Dark Lord. Nice use of Mrs Norris too.

Poor Minerva’s dead but that’s more of a "Oh well" moment than when you killed off Thundercloud. I liked the fact Harry quashed his guilt so quickly. The cases really weren’t the same.

I have to say there’s a kind of glee to the fight scenes in this and Bungle that is absent in TFTCD and that makes it even more enjoyable. The reader gets the sense that you were having great fun writing this.

I take it the Daemon blood has become part of Harry’s system now. Giggling at Snape’s nearest master. Nice to see you aren’t underestimating Dumbledore or making him no more than a foolish figurehead. Kwan’s comments were brilliant. LOL again at Harry considering stunning himself too rude. The tissue with jaguars and HJP on it was great, as was the reasoning behind his perfection of the spell. Bill dates a Veela. It’s hardly surprising he thinks there’s no such thing as bad sex. I loved Fleur’s euphemisms and it’s good to see rationality about Luna’s scent (no more sodding "strawberry scent" on bloody everything with no butterbeer odour the way other fanfics portray it). LOL again at Harry’s broom scene, especially the legs comment.

Loony Luna has such excellent comic value topped only by Hack. I loved the DADA class scene. So well done.

Left giggling and desperate for more as always. Superb chapter.

JBern replied:

Wow, that's a long review!   Thank you.   As always, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.   More is coming soon, but Lie 8 is up first.

This is a much more "fun" story.   Darkness was about a struggle inside and out.   Notice Harry isn't angsting too much here, he's just rolling with it.~Jim

fountaam posted a comment on Saturday 10th November 2007 5:24pm

I think a word to Hermione that Filch's cat turned monster killed McGonagall would make her approve of a fur being made of Mrs. Norris.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter.   Next one coming soon.~Jim

sanghamitra posted a comment on Thursday 8th November 2007 8:09pm

Loooong time no seee, no read me bored ...... love english hack style ... even better than Hagrids. Maybe we should have some Omakes of Hacks adventures in Hogwarts, Hack and the orange furball, Who stole Hagrids pet, etc etc...

JBern replied:

Hack and Hagrid's paths will eventually cross.   I'm certain there will be some humor to be found there.~Jim

dboris posted a comment on Tuesday 6th November 2007 7:16pm

'Broyeur d'Os' would have been more correct than 'Moudre d’Os'.

The 'Moudre' verb is used generally to 'grind grain' (windmills)

Another thing... the scene when Mrs Norris spits the rests of McGonagall is confusing. I don't see how it would do that, I doubt even a big lion would swallow completly an animal body as large as a cat. I'd rather have something like McGonagall's (transformed) head in Mrs. Norris's jaw.

Anyway it's a good chapter, good job.

JBern replied:

Hmm, thanks.   My online translator came up with Moudre.   I'll add this to my list of housekeeping for this story.~Jim

Mark Blaine posted a comment on Saturday 3rd November 2007 4:45pm

I like this. Hermy is learning.

JBern replied:

But not quickly enough is she?~Jim

Robin Hood posted a comment on Saturday 3rd November 2007 6:02am

I really liked your story when I read it all together, but reading this chapter all by its lonesome, it seem absolutely absurd.

JBern replied:

Sorry, I can only write so fast.~Jim

Cxjenious posted a comment on Saturday 3rd November 2007 5:55am

Fuckin' awesome!

JBern replied:

Um, thanks I guess.   Next chapter coming soon.~Jim

penguins4me posted a comment on Thursday 1st November 2007 3:47pm

Butt nugget! lol, who can I call a butt nugget? Anyway, naughty phrases aside, that was a great chapter. And is there any better way to end it than with insulting Snape? I think not. Very good job. Please keep up the good work. And keep it up here. I hate trolling through the sludge on ff.net to find the good stuff. It's all on better sites now anyway. Oh, and I demand more of your Luna. I already can't think of her any other way than the way you write her. She's so leading a double life. And I like her humor. And the humor she lends to Harry in the situations he finds himself in. Write, man, cause you do it so well. :)

JBern replied:

Actually a few of my helpers thought it was a weak ending.   Glad you liked it though.   I hope you found someone to call a butt nugget.   I'm not going to shoe horn Luna into the story.   Harry will be very much in the limelight and Luna is slightly uncomfortable with it, especially if she has to try and 'be normal'.~Jim

Ronnee posted a comment on Wednesday 31st October 2007 9:57am

LOL. The author's note is amusing. This story is as great as the first part. I will wait impatiently for the next piece just as I did for the others. Great job. thanks

JBern replied:

Glad you liked my author's notes.   I'm not certain why I warrant someone pretending to be my friend out there just to rile up the fans by saying I'm in ill health.   (Though my foot really hurts today!   Does that count?)   I hope the story continues to impress you.~Jim

cjonbloodletter posted a comment on Wednesday 31st October 2007 4:18am

Hey man, nice Chapter. I loved the Mrs. Norris furcoat thing with Hack, gave me a good laugh right in the middle of the library where I just happened to be reading it. Much shushing later, I am chaptised. Keep it up I can't wait for your next chapter.

JBern replied:

I should get someone to draw that as a picture.   Hack wearing Mrs. N across his chest like a tribal chieftan. Next chapter coming soon.~Jim

liquidfyre posted a comment on Tuesday 30th October 2007 10:38am

OH MY GAWD YOU BE ALIVES?

BE EET REALLY TWUE??!!?!!

or in other words lol on the mmmmm buttnugget

good update and am looking forward to more

JBern replied:

Well my foot is kind of sore today, but that's the closest I've come to death (knock on wood).   Thanks for the review.   My apologies for the tardy reply.   Next chapter coming soon.~Jim

Patches posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 7:09pm

This is really a good chapter. I like the way that Harry dealt with Mrs. Norris. That needed to be done. The old cat was always a problem with an attitude. Filch liking the power he received from the horcrux is not surprising. He was a bad tempered element at the school from the word go. I was really sorry to see McGonagal die. She is one of my favorite characters. She was always a voice of strength and truth even to Dumbledore. She actually cared for Harry and although she didn't always back up his actions she was dependable. It stands to reason that Hermione would be upset over McGonagal's death. Hermione always respected the teacher and McGonagal appreciated Hermione's intelligence and performance as a student. I'm glad Harry has Kwan to bring a shot of reallity to discussions. Kwan has a way of pointing out things in a basic light that can be overlooked with Dumbledore around. I like Hack. Wearing Mrs. Norris pelt is a little over the top but as Harry says, he has style. I'm glad Harry got to see Luna and they had a good meeting. Luna of course is playing up her "Loony" act. She gets a lot done in that venue. Something Harry is beginning to appreciate. He let Ron know that he is not off the hook as far as Harry is concerned. I look forward to more of that discussion. I like the way Harry handled Snape in Defense. He actually taught Snape something. That and the way he walked out using a wordless, wandless spell as an answer to Snape was great. I look forward to the next chapter. Thanks for writing. I look forward t the conclusion of Darkness! All your stories are great and I really enjoy the snarky Harry in the Jungle series. Thanks for writing. pms

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you continue to enjoy the story.   Sorry for the delay in responding.   Harry used his wand to cast that spell.   It wasn't wandless, just wordless.   Next chapter of this one coming after Lie chapter 8.   I hope I continue to impress.~Jim

catpaw posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 5:51pm

Ohhh! New chapter - just the thing I needed right now..

On the whole, good as usual. Bit did you have to kill Mc Gonnagal? And, more importantly, why was she defeated so easily? A transfiguration master should not be an easy target. Offensive transfiguration! School trophies and awards changed into Norris sized bear traps! Miscellaneous debris turned into sharp and nasty things.. An opportunity missed, I tell you.

Ok, now that its off my chest, thanks, and keep up the good work. :)

yours truly

catpaw

JBern replied:

I didn't have to kill McG, but I did need to demonstrate that my version of the Horcruxes aren't going down like chumps.   They will be defended and those defenses will test Harry to his limits.  

She was in her cat form, carrying her wand in her mouth.   Mrs. Norris caught her by surprise when she was vulnerable.   End of story, or at least her part in the story.   Considering Voldefilch had all the objects in the room doing his bidding, she'd have had a rough go of it.

Hope that clarifies my position on things.   Glad you liked the rest of the story.   Actually in the original version Poppy died as well.   I was convinced that that was too dark.~Jim

Wolfric posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 5:27pm

I enjoyed the chapter. Won't miss Filch, might miss McGonagall She is sometimes kind of a constipated maternal figure to Harry. As for Snape; what is the difference between Snape and a deatheater? You might learn something from a deatheater. Sort of adolescent, I know. Thanks for writing. W.

JBern replied:

I think  maternal Minnie is a product of Fanon.   She's more like the strict aunt you visit and you're afraid to do anything while in her house.   I'll try and provide just as interesting version of Snape as I have of Dumbledore in this story.~Jim

oldman posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 1:30pm

you continue to write in surprises and 'how do I get out of that' situations. Fall in love with HG? Use her as suggested but strengthen Harry as ruthless? Out Dumbledore for deviousness? I would prefer the last option.

JBern replied:

You'll see where this is headed eventually.   The fact that I can inspire that much thought in my readers is a pretty high compliement.~Jim

PerfesserN posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 12:59pm

I wonder what Harry's mental age is at this point? His demeanor is like that of a thirty year veteran who has seen much too much of war and suffering.
At some point I hope he gets a break, he's had his childhood stolen from him and now he's giving up his young adult years. At this rate he'll be a sage by the time he's twenty.
Perhaps he can live vicariously through the lives of his children.
Speaking of which, did he leave any in Brazil? Or maybe back in the Indian Nation?
Excellent chapter, as always.
I'm guessing that Harry will get around to forgiving Hermione, later rather than sooner, and that the grim reaper will be coming for one or two Weasleys.
Am I close or do I need to polish my crystal ball?
Don't rush, update when the time is right - only paying markets can give you a deadline.
Write on, write on.
N!

JBern replied:

Well Lauren may or may not be pregnant as indicated by the end of Bungle.   Karina probably would have told him if she was, or he would have heard from the Colastos family by now.   Amy, he used precautions with, so hopefully, that answers your questions.

It's tough to gauge Harry's mental age right now.   When the going gets tough, he's a predator and a survivor.   When things slow down, he sometimes vents himself by acting immature.   I think you'll be surprised with what I have in store for Hermione.

Next chapter coming soon, but I need to put out a chapter of Lie first.   When HJ really gets his introduction to Fleur - I'm certain fireworks will occur, but probably not in a good way.~Jim

dwilken posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 12:01pm

Jim, I retract my comment on Dumbledore's believability in my review of your last chapter - we had to wait for your Harry to begin to see that the Grand Warlock and Headmaster is a man of exceptional political talent and a wizard of tier-one skill and power.

So I'll give chapter two another look. Second person narrative, stream of consciousness. Right. It's damn weird but your fight scenes are so effing entertaining, I keep reading.

BTW, Filch utilizing the horcrux as a magical core - nicely innovative.

Harry/Snape interactions were ... interesting. At this point their professional relationship could go either way you want it to go, co-belligerent or enemy. But definitely not neutral. Nice setup.

The Hermione scene was well-played.

Dialogue with Luna - good. Been watching Caddyshack or Back-to-School for Rodney Dangerfield inspiration? "Lou, don't knock Vanessa - she gives great headache." Heh.

I'm also going to have that silly Hack/Mrs. Norris carcass scene in my head all through my deer-hunting weekend. And no one will understand why I keep laughing.

-Doug

JBern replied:

Good lord that's a review.   Sorry it's taken a while to reply.   I figured you'd back down from your view of Dumbldore.   Hopefully, I can deliver an interesting dynamic between Harry, Dumbledore, Severus, Kwan and many more.

Hope you did well deer hunting.   Those damn deer!   They're just asking for it!   Next chapter coming soon, though I have to do Lie 8 first.~Jim

xeromercy posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 11:54am

Awesome update. Will any past characters from the Bungle in the Jungle be making a serious appearance? Serious as in important to plot btw. Can't wait for the next chapter, whichever story it's for.

JBern replied:

Good question.   The answer is perhaps.   Hows that for definitive?   Sorry it took a few weeks to respond.   I was finishing up one of my other stories.~Jim