By JBern
Reviews
morriganscrow posted a comment on Monday 4th August 2008 4:23am
Five Second Frank, with a dessert of Ten Second Troll - excellent!
Not too sorry about Luna - the way you've written her is, I feel accurate, and she's facing so many new feelings/experiences, but she comes across as waaay too weak to be with Harry as he is now.
I fear Harry might regret not taking Hermione's peace offering....
The whole Baba Yaga storyline is inspired, and I am looking forward to more.
vertru posted a comment on Monday 4th August 2008 4:09am
Great cliffie, and a marvelous end to a very exciting chapter. It was interesting how you made the young woman into the one willing to be a guide, didn't quite see that coming. Should be really fun to see how many traps they have to get past or overcome before getting to the Valley. The "ten second troll" was hilarious, in a warped sort of way, but then your sense of humor is so much like mine it is scary sometimes. <grin> Looking forward to more soon, Jim. Good work on this.
Vern
Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Monday 4th August 2008 2:20am
Hah! Ten second troll, that's great. Another good chapter. Looking forward to the next one!
Crys posted a comment on Monday 4th August 2008 1:44am
> There's a small vial attached to it. Not another fucking potion! And you thought she really wanted to get back in your good graces. You stop him. "Dobby, just take it back to her. Tell her I appreciate the gesture, but no thanks."
I've no idea what that may be, but turning it down will no doubt blow up in your face, Harry. At least find out what the damn thing is before denying it.
> She asked me to compare her to those other women, so I did.
Oh, jeez. More proof she's an angsty teen. Harry's life is complicated enough. He doesn't need this shit. Yeah, yeah, this is normal teenaged "growing up" crap, but still . . . He's too mature to put up with this.
I'm sure there's a reason for Nicolette. Kinda confusing, though. Fleur wanted to still get him together with Luna, but when he said no, she literally throws some other witch into his bed? She managed to convince Nicolette within a couple hours?
> You're in a province called Chelyabinsk.
"Chelyabinsk" looks like it's a link (blue and underlined), but it isn't. Was that intentional?
> Kwan trusts you enough to be his back up. That alone speaks volumes about how far you've come.
True. Scary as all hell, but true.
That's an evil cliffhanger, Jim.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Crys posted a comment on Monday 4th August 2008 12:48am
> There's a small vial attached to it. Not another fucking potion! And you thought she really wanted to get back in your good graces. You stop him. "Dobby, just take it back to her. Tell her I appreciate the gesture, but no thanks."
I've no idea what that may be, but turning it down will no doubt blow up in your face, Harry. At least find out what the damn thing is before denying it.
I'm sure there's a reason for Nicolette. Kinda confusing, though. Fleur wanted to still get him together with Luna, but when he said no, she literally throws some other witch into his bed? She managed to convince Nicolette within a couple hours?
> You're in a province called Chelyabinsk.
"Chelyabinsk" looks like it's a link (blue and underlined), but it isn't. Was that intentional?
> Kwan trusts you enough to be his back up. That alone speaks volumes about how far you've come.
True. Scary as all hell, but true.
That's an evil cliffhanger, Jim.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Fishburne posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 11:05pm
one thing - is it ' fermenting any civil wars'? or perhaps 'fomenting'?
Fishburne posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 10:59pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
'time to come up with something brilliant or stupid enough to save your life.'
That line alone makes reading it all worthwhile.
of course ' How exactly do you get in these situations? How can you get in them more often?' makes it even more chunky and delicious too!
Love the work, as always.
Can't wait for Deadeye.
Fanboy Fish
Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 10:07pm
Hehe, methinks Harry will not give up on Luna for long whatever she tries to make him think. I'm now curious about what Dobby's potion was. Nice teasing between the brothers.
Fleur flirts like she breathes so she'd better feel less guilty soon or she'll suffer from an equivalent to oxygen deprivation. Fleur's way of "helping" is unusual to say the least. At least she had the sense to warn him first or he would have hexed Nicolette into next week.
Svetlanna is intriguing. Evil cliffhanger. I liked the five-second Frank idea and the Ten-Second Troll even more. Can't wait for more. Great chapter.
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 9:43pm
Another great chapter, the way Harry is going I wonder if he will get lucky with Svetlanna. I wonder who the lucky girl was to help releave Harry of some stress.
TFW
MPF
Immortalitis posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 4:44pm
Five seconds to live!
Time is repeating itself :D
Keep up the excellent work and I hope to see Dead Eye on bookshelves!
Regards
SA/ Immo/ Aerin
Jizzle posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 2:47pm
I think "The people, who weren't trying to kill you, were pleasant" is wrong as is. Those commas make it sound to me like like the people in Brazil weren't trying to kill him. If you take out the commas, it sounds like excepting the people trying to kill him, the people in Brazil were pleasant, and I think this is what you were going for.
Also, that dumb fuck Harry passed up Felix Felicis, didn't he? Goddamn arrogant son of a bitch is going to eat some serious crow when/if he gets back to England and Hermione's waiting with the super duper luck potion that would have eased his trials significantly. In fact, I am no convinced someone who is or will be important to Harry is going to die with this Baba Yaga quest, and it will have been avoidable if he had just taken the damn potion.
Nice chapter. I enjoyed. Harry's thoughts on Luna sounded like bitter, angry self justifications for getting the hell out of the way. I don't really blame him, but he's not doing himself any favors. Especially with the sleeping with random witches so quickly.
Muggleborn Prince posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 2:12pm
Great chapter.
Pretty suspenseful..
MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 2:11pm
Always good to see and update. Everyone needs a friend like Fluer.
rune1806 posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 2:01pm
Thank you for getting rid of Luna, it was time for that to end. The girl in the bedroom was very nice, but who is the guide really??
joeBob posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 1:51pm
Uh, just a big ol' bubblehead charm?
Or vanish a quick pit and then tunnel out of the snow cover after the avalanche passes.
Great chapter. Is Svetlanna Bab Yaga or name dropping? Nicolette? Would have been nice if Harry'd mentioned protection(s) and cation with her.
Sure, Fleur might have warned him about someone but that could be after the vamp, succubus, demon, etc. had compromised Fleur. Or "Nicolette", who's now pregnant since no mention was made of protection, could have replaced the person Fleur mentioned.
Gardengirl posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 1:01pm
Never a dull moment for our brave and brazen boys! Thanks for a great read before sleep.
Shepherd posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 12:14pm
Love the story and loved the chapter.
Mark Blaine posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 11:53am
Good work. I guessing Svetlana is actually Baba. Maybe I'm too cynical.
Cuey posted a comment on Sunday 3rd August 2008 11:18am
I've read alot of fics where Harry went back and harvested the corpse of the basilisk for armor, potions ingredients, etc. but I don't think anyone else used daemon bones to make wards.
It sounds like we are in for a lot of fun as Harry and his band of merry men (and witches) dance to the tune of some ancient, probably psychopathic crone. Assuming they don't all die in the avalanche of course.
TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Monday 4th August 2008 4:35am