By JBern
Reviews
Meghan posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 2:05pm
Fantastic finish. I do love your way with words. Until the next chapter then.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. I look forward to your strong finish as well.~Jim
The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 1:44pm
It's great to see another chapter! I did want to read that Harry punched Dumbledore's lights out when he reverted back I'll wait and see what happens next chapter.
JBern replied:
Well the best revenge Harry can get is removing himself from AD's control. More coming soon.~Jim
rune1806 posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 12:51pm
Love the footrest joke well done, and that was some very good Luna in the talk with Albus. The part with Sue is so true the police need to stop crime but I do not have time to help. I have a fire in the stove come put it out, the kids need a coach you do it I do not have the time. Apathy is a hot button for me sorry for the rant. Great update thanks for writing.
JBern replied:
Seems I hit a nerve in this chapter for you. Glad you liked it. More coming soon. Lie 13 is just about done.
Regards,
Jim
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 12:43pm
*snicker* I love that last line. It seems like life is moving about normal for Harry (at least, *his* version of normal). I dn'tt hink Dumbles hasn't quite realized just the depth of anger involved nor how culpable he really is in mucking things up, else he'd not have pulled that stunt (if he had to do that, he should at least washed his feet and worn clean socks).
It's going to get real interesting if Harry manages that homunculus and is able to move around more. I reckon that much freedom would give Dumbles severe palpitations of the control impulse.
JBern replied:
I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter. The old saying about this here place isn't big enough for the two of us may very well apply in Harry and AD's case.
Thanks for the review. More coming soon.~Jim
Ltank687 posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 12:12pm
nice, like the progression. Harry as a footstool is probably the funniest thing I've seen, and dear Luna just keeps growing fonder in my eyes.
But I'm extremely excited for your next chapters of the Lie Ive Lived and cannot wait for that. This story is great, but your other is fantastic and I look forward to reading more!
JBern replied:
Lie 13 will be done soon. I think you'll be pleased.~Jim
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 11:27am
First off, Dumbledore...he needs some spanking, hard and he needs it soon. Really do wish someone would knock himm off his oh so high and righteous perch and down with the regular folks for a while. Sweet moment with Hargrid and Hack, but will probably end up bleaching my brain becasue of that, LOL. Sweet moment with Luna, who you continue to catch nicely, and Hermione, who you actually catch well to, as she just seems to be unable to control her mouth, which is maybe why she and Ron actually did get on for a bit, until the two mouths got in the way. Sweet part there with Snape, and love that little dig about him being so brave, (what was JKR smoking, and how much does it go for an ounce), and can't wait to see what goes down next time.
JBern replied:
Harry's best revenge is to get himself out from under AD's thumb. Glad you *liked* the Hack and Hagrid scene.
I couldn't resist the dig at Snape - "He was the bravest man I've ever known". Ever notice how much book 7 was about Dumbledore and Snape and how little it was really about Harry? Just some food for thought.
More coming soon. Lie 13 is almost done.~Jim
Bogdan posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 11:24am
Half a day I've been digesting this in my head, and I can state that the 'Dumbledore showing his colors at last' plot doesn't sit right by me.
I do not think that what Dumbledore did was not reason and planning. He wants to piss off Harry into doing something. If I am wrong about this I'll eat my boxers. The 'public' conflict at Azkaban last chapter was the first clue, this chapter made it obvious. Last evening Harry told Snape that his worst fear is to be a pawn for Dumbledore (and Voldemort), the next day Dumbledore transfigures him into an object he can step on with stinky feet anyway he wants.
Most Manipulative!Dumbledore want control over Harry (as in Harry becoming "Dumbledore’s man through and through"), yours wants control over the metaphorical chess board. I am of the opinion that Harry was wrong that "Dumbledore’s greatest fear is Riddle wins or I win and turn dark". I think that Dumbledore’s worst fear is to fail to win this war on HIS terms. The Dumbledore you portray wouldn’t care for a Harry that comes back to him with pleas for help, advice and support, as he is smart enough to realize it is far too late for this for both of them. Your Dumbledore has chosen Anger as his tool in controlling Harry. He pushed Harry away from the black market dealer, and now that I think about it, the support of a metamorph and his possible in with the werewolves. His former friends Hermione and Ginny — afraid of him. Ron — Harry will never again place trust in him. The inventive twins — most likely afraid of his revenge.
Dumbledore is backing Harry into a corner just as Palpatine backed Anakin into a corner, until there was nothing more to see trough the red tunnel vision caused by focusing one’s anger but what the Master Manipulator shows you. Until you destroy the very things you fight for with your own hands.
I think the first one to play with the "Dumbledore played with Snape’s Dark Mark and layered his own compulsions above Riddle’s until Snape barely has any free will of his own" plot device was Loralee. If you add in your concept of Life Debts, I can actually feel for Snape. Of all the separate three directions he is pulled, he at least shows the token resistance of trying to do the right thing, and then Harry goes and hexes him in front the whole class. One could ask: why should he bother after this?
I am also tempted to expect something similar in regards to Fawkes, like in The Sin of Existance’s ‘Cold as Ice’ ("It's a shame, what Dumbledore did to the creature. It's hardly a phoenix anymore, more just a personal yes-bird for Dumbledore."), but I think that anything you plan for Fawkes is likely to top that.
But back to my opening statement. Dumbledore came up with the "turn Harry into a foot-rest" offensive too soon for Snape not to have showed (one way or the other) his conversation with Harry to the Headmaster.
Considering that Dumbledore had more than a year of complete access to the Black library, had been cooking the "reinforce the Hogwarts wards with Harry Potter’s blood" since before the summer (me thinks WELL BEFORE the summer, more like since Harry fried Quirrelmort with his touch alone) and has had to have done some major research into discovering possible flaws, to believe that this "homunculus" loophole is genuine and that Dumbledore didn’t
a) anticipate it and planned for it;
b) tamper with the book, creating a way for him to take COMPLETE control over Harry;
c) both of the above;
would be foolish. He already has magical devices set up that operate on Harry’s blood magic in his office. This is merely the next step forward. And, as Musings of Apathy said in his review, Dumbledore is outright stating that his office would be empty for the night.
To me, this smells like a setup. Dumbledore wants Harry to be angry and desperate enough to take his bait and prideful and desperate enough not to take the "I am Ambassador Potter now, how dare transfigure me into a foot stool and place your dirty feet on me" diplomatic and public approach. And it seems to get what he wants.
Now, the question is: "AM I RIGHT?".
JBern replied:
Thank you again for the long review. Sorry I have been delinquent in my response. About Anger, you are mostly correct. AD is a master button pusher and Harry is no exception.
Still, this version of AD is capable of oversight. McGonagall paid with her life because of it. So, he is capable of misteps and not all-seeing, all-knowing. It may be a case that he knows that challenging Harry is the best way to bring out Harry's own greatness - tough love at it's best. It may be that AD is dying and has to push vice guide Harry in the direction AD thinks he should go. There are numerous possibilities.
So, in conclusion, you are somewhat right, but not completely right. Although for leaving such a long review, you are definitely alright by me!
Regards,
Jim
luckykas posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 11:14am
Hurray and Hallelujah!!! JBERN'S BACK!!!! The eagerly awaited update is awesome!!
The Harry Snape talk is thought provoking. Snape is supposed to be analytical (though overtly cynical) and Harry raises quite a few valid points. I would have loved to see Snivellus's reaction to his house burning down. That would have been fun.
Hagrid and Hack continue to amuse. You manage to smuggle them into the story without slowing the pace of the narration. Looking forward to more of their shenanigans.
As to granger finding out about Harry's animagus form, was that really necessary? I mean you must have something planned for this later in the plot. Also can Harry call her Granger in private when they are alone and Hermione in front of others? That level of impersonal detachment will really break down "Miss. I am always right". After all Snape, Malfoy and everyone who dislikes her refers to her as Granger.
Confronting Ginny in RoR... your Harry managed to convey his anger and resentment without sounding like a whiny bitch. But I wouldn't mind him 'talking' to Neville about weaslette...pretty please....Neville is a good guy and deserves to know what a gold digging slut his current girl friend is.
Dumbledork is long overdue for some payback. This latest stunt with tranfiguring Harry into furniture really earns him some major pain...please deliver it to him. I don't think he would be bothered with Harry creating a Homunculus as he is a selfish guy who firmly believes in ends justifying the means as long as his hands stay clean.
Susan's outburst is totally uncalled for but Harry makes a good point. "Prove you are all worth saving". Cant help sympathizing with the girl though..
I enjoy your work a lot and hope you get time to be able to update your fan fics soon.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the long review. Glad you continue to enjoy my stories. Lie 13 is almost completed and I'll be back to this one soon. I think you'll be pleased.~Jim
Jizzle posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 11:05am
Man it's good to have another JBern story update, and what a good update it was.
I like Luna's take on the animagi/animagus running gag. It was good to see it come up again, and being a furnituremagus would be awesome. For at least five minutes. On a related note, man do I hate Dumbledore. Choke him to death with a rusty spoon. Please.
Hack and Hagrid's misadventures were terribly disturbing. Really, really disturbing. Still funny though, so it's all good.
Snape's a git. I loved seeing him unconscious and vomiting. It'll be even better if he's forced to do something really helpful for Harry. That'll be delightful. I get the feeling that life debts are going to be important. I hope Harry gets some research in on those, or maybe just ask Kwan? Life debts seem to be something a man of his skills and calling would have to know a bit about.
How did you make me hate Fawkes? Next to Hedwig, possibly the most lovable Harry Potter character there is, and I despise him here. Bravo.
I felt as dissatisfied as Harry with the Harry/Ginny confrontation, which is really how it should be. She was just a stupid little girl with a crush, and she made a mistake. There's no real satisfying outcome to that. I did like seeing Neville mentioned. I wonder what, if anything, you'll do with Neville in this story. Neville's just awesome, and your evil!Neville in Coming Darkness was excellent. I look forward to seeing what develops with him here.
And saving the best for last, I enjoyed your Luna this chapter. I can't imagine how tricky it is to handle a character with her kind of horribly warped social interaction issues in social situations that aren't just one on one with our man Harry. No matter what she says, she has way bigger problems dealing with people than Harry does. He's got anger and betrayal issues, yeah, but he does not have a second personality he hides behind. I think you pulled off Luna quite well this chapter, especially the discomfort at the "beach."
I loved the chapter and look forward to whatever you release next. I also look forward to reading your original fiction. Happy writing.
JBern replied:
Still trying to catch up on reviews. Glad you enjoyed it. Chapter 13 of Lie is now up. I'm pleased that you caught the little details in the chapter like Luna playing on Bungle's Animagus joke and so forth.
I do my best to make the story feel as real as possible to the readers and it shows that I am succeeding in reviews like yours.~Jim
Cuey posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 9:48am
Great chapter Jim.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Way behind in review replies, but Lie 13 is now up.~Jim
David305 posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 9:26am
Enjoying! Still very good!
I fully expect Harry to devise an equally humiliating prank on Dumbledore in reprisal for the footrest stunt.
Keep it up! Cheers,
David
JBern replied:
Thanks again. More coming soon.~Jim
Lufio posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 9:26am
--,'{@
The continuing
Exploits of Hack and Hagrid?
Awesome running gag!
-[ The amorous adventures of Hagri-sonova and Don Hack-uan. Oh, lord! That was one of the funniest anecdotes I've ever read. Heh. What sounded like a mangled cry of Hagrid's name actually being an admonishment? Ha! What you hinted at in previous replies did not disappoint.
The characters continue in being both in the "right" and in the "wrong". There's no "protagonist is always right and everyone else and the world bends to his/her will" taking place here. The characters are being portrayed like real people in the real world. Harry's convinced he's in the right, just like the other characters, but he doesn't always get his way and the others are not necessarily wrong. I like how you continue making your characters complex. ]-
JBern replied:
Thank you for the compliments. Please accept my apologies on my tardy reply. More TML coming soon. I'm just about done outlining chapter 7. Look for it soon.
Thank you for appreciating the complexity of the story. I work hard to make it believable.~Jim
romero posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 9:19am
Thanks for the great update.
JBern replied:
More coming soon.~Jim
Tommy posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 8:42am
Interesting! :P Keep up the good work!
Tommy L.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you liked it. More coming soon.~Jim
GinnyLover posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 8:27am
Very nice! Welcome back! Hope you get published soon!
I wonder if Harry's animagus form is changing....to a demon. That could be what the scales showing up is ;)
JBern replied:
I hope I get published soon as well. Sorry for the delay in my reply, but Lie chapter 13 is now up for your reading enjoyment.~Jim
Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 8:10am
Great chapter, love the building tension between dumbledore and Harry. Totally love the idea of how to charge the wards. btw... since sex between harry and hermione would charge them faster... can any of hermione's bodily fluids be incorporated into the 'blood bag'... i mean if it helps charge the wards faster, then Harry would be oath bound to do it... right?
JBern replied:
That's an interesting theory. I'm outlining chapter 7 now since Lie 13 was just posted. No rest for the weary.~Jim
Taegeous posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 7:15am
i hope you got some good payback lined up for dumbles at the end. the comment about minerva only underscores what a bastard he is. he shows no remorse for anyone used, hurt, or killed as a result of his schemes...teachers and students alike.
JBern replied:
Well in Dumbledore's defense, at his age people come and go. The canon one "loved so much". This one might have developed a heart of stone.
Just some food for thought. Chapter 7 is in progress.~Jim
Darak1 posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 6:38am
Dumbledore surely does deserve the first part of his name, he needs Harry not the reverse, antagonising him is as stupid as you can get.
JBern replied:
Depends unless there is a method to his madness. Only time and updates will tell.~Jim
Bedrup posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 6:28am
Super. Furniture Harry was a bit over the top, but you pulled it off.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Sorry for the lengthy delay in my reply, but Lie 13 is now up for your enjoyment. TML chapter 7 is now officially "in progress".~Jim
stuart posted a comment on Sunday 18th May 2008 3:32pm
JBern replied: