By JBern
Reviews
Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 5:42am
This polished up version is so good. I love the idea of Harry hiring mercenaries - particularlyl hiring them away from the Death Eaters and sending then back to do the dirty deed.
So much else about this is so original and clever.
Just excellent all around!
JBern replied:
Thanks again. I look forward to more of your fine works as well.~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 3:55am
Well as I sure someone else has already mentioned several issues remain unresolved but it looks like there is still hope in the sequel. I think Harry might be rather bored after a couple of weeks at school; it certainly won't have the adrenalin rush he has become accustomed to over the last few months; unless he goes hunting in his spare time. I thought Luna's letter was good and I enjoyed Harry buying off the bounty hunters. I wonder if their anti-betrayal oathes can be trusted. Of course Kwan should know what he is about. Thanks so much for writing this story and your others for that matter. I look forward to your further efforts. W.
JBern replied:
Oh don't discount the adrenaline rush just yet...
Thanks for all your reviews. Hope the sequel meets or exceeds your expectations.~Jim
DrT posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 3:28am
Excellent chapter, as usual. the hitmen were interesting.
I really enjoyed Luna' letter, even if she transitioned a bit too fast (probably realistically, however). So, there is a faux Harry or more around Hogwarts? Interesting. Glad Hermione is learning her lesson at least as well.
"T"
JBern replied:
Thanks for the praise. When writing as Luna, I tried to envision how she would have felt after Fleur gave her the business. Thanks for all the reviews both here and on ficwad.~Jim
uthamm posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 3:24am
Very nice. Wrapped up all the loose ends. I like the ethical second guessing over keeping his word to Lauren. Very adult and real. Decisions are not always cut and dried. Excellent transition on the story titles with the radio. Can't wait to see Harry "TURNED LOOSE".
Picturing the scene between Fluer and Luna was awesome. Harry has shown loyalty and it is great to see people show it to him.
Love the play for keeps Harry hiring the Curse Breakers to take out Nott. This isn't a game and he knows it.
The Ultimate Predator indeed! Can't wait for the sequal!
JBern replied:
Thanks again for all the compliments and the reviews. Glad the epilogue impressed you.~Jim
saladin posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 3:17am
Hi JBern,
This is quite a story. Have been following it for some time. The Demon chapter probably had too much action in it but otherwise quite fine.
The commendable thing is that the flow is not lost in the stream of consciousness style of writing. Rarely, is that seen even in professional writings. In fact, offhand I just remember Joyce' Potrait & Salinger' Catcher in the Rye, both of which often take deep reading.
Though the first time I tried to read this story, i gave up midway in the first chapter thinking this to be some kind of sequel.
The second time, while sitting in my lab and waiting for matlab to give me results I tried the chapters 1-4 and got some idea of what you were trying.
All in all, A fun read.
Thanks,
Vinay
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed it. Hope the sequel meets or exceeds your expectations. Thanks for all the compliments.~Jim
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 2:34am
Great strory, I can't wait to see what happens back in England, when the real Harry shows up.
Thanks for writing a great story.
MPF
JBern replied:
Thanks for reading.~Jim
xalphardx posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 2:19am
I am in complete and utter astonishment. This is a great storyline and wonderfully enjoyable to read.
Thank you.
Awaiting the next story in this series...
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed it. Hope I continue to impress you.~Jim
AutumnHeart posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 2:18am
A fun ending - solemn in the right places, but finishing on a high note. I'm really glad to hear you're going to continue with this universe - I'd definitely have missed it if your weren't.
Thanks for the fun story so far,
- AutumnHeart
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you enjoy it. Hopefully, the wait for the sequel won't be too long.~Jim
traveller posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 2:05am
A good wrap up chapter that puts the dots on they I of Harry's change.
As a whole I have enjoyed Bungle immensely, and I want to thank you for writing it. Both content and style are relatively original in the HP world (I'd just say original, but I'm sure that would come back to haunt me).
I'm glad that you are planning on writing a sequel and have taken the liberty to look up the song you mentioned as a title. If it's any indication, Harry is going to continue his new path in style.
Keep on writing, I'll keep reading.
Traveller
PS. of all the items taken from the demon, why not hair? I could think of a few interesting things to do with it. Sowed in runes to start with.
JBern replied:
Well the Daemon only had hair on it's legs and they've got those in a trunk somewhere...
Glad you enjoyed the story. Hope the sequel meets or exceeds your expectations.~Jim
pip posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 1:39am
love it!
words cannot express...
marry me?!
xxx
JBern replied:
Appreciate the offer, but my wife wouldn't like it. You wouldn't like to see her angry...~Jim
Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 1:21am
Great end to the story. I can't wait for the sequel. You've got me intrigued as to Harry's relations with Luna, Ron, Hermione, and everyone, especially with Charlie impersonating him. Then of course there's Dumbledore and Voldemort to deal with. I'm practically giddy thinking about it. You've got a great plot going here, and you also manage to inject a lot of humor without making everything seem like joke. To Fight the Coming Darkness isn't bad, but this story is just head and shoulders above almost everything else out there. Thank you very much for a fantastic story!
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. The sequel must wait until I finish my other story. Hope to hear from you again.~Jim
kainboa posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 1:10am
great chapter as always, can't wait to see the sequel
keep up the great work :)
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. Good things come to those who wait...~Jim
swordchucks posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 12:40am
Well, I'm a chapter behind, as always, but I want to let you know how utterly awesome the fight with the demon was. The rest of the chapter was... well, my opinion is colored by the fact that you're good at making the reader feel the same sort of sick anticipation as the characters. It made me queasy, which is probably a good thing.
Anyway, the fight scene is both the most original and awesome fight I can recall seeing in a Harry Potter fic. Great, stellar, superb job.
JBern replied:
That's okay. I've been behind on my reviews and am finally catching up. Glad you can truly appreciate the story and hope that raised the bar for your expectations of a final battle.~Jim
liquidfyre posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 12:23am
DUDE that ROCKED hehe new story now please
makes giant cuddly puppy dog eyes begging for the new story
JBern replied:
Sorry. I must finish Darkness first.~Jim
Crys posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:36pm
> Then again, with the credentials you are currently traveling under, you could have a shrunken Inferi horde with you and they’d still have to let you in, though you’d have to pay for them just the same. Maybe, you’ll do that next time.
This line is just beautiful. It shows how jaded he's become, but yet his sarcastic humor is still visible.
> "If you persist in being such an imbecile, I will marry Bill and take Harry for a lover until my sister is old enough for him and I will be the happiest witch in all of Europe!"
You've been reading Jeconais's "Hope", haven't you? ;)
Two someones playing Harry? Well, Charlie makes sense for two separate reasons. Either to help Bill/Harry (or is this a "not Bill's trusted brother" story?) or on AD's orders. So I'll assume it's to help his brother and that someone else (Tonks?) is on AD's orders. Though they not coordinating on the Cho thing is sloppy on their part.
Hermione is HG? And the sevenths are giving her hell for it? Good.
> Hope you’re not jealous? No ugly monster rearing in your chest or anything?
*smirk*
JBern replied:
Thanks for the compliments and all your reviews. I'll be liberally mocking HBP with some of the events being used in many different ways.~Jim
aemon_targaryen posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:26pm
I still love this story. An excellent end, tying up loose ends. I liked the contrasts in funerals. I like that the Potter bloodline is to continue on, even through unconventional means with Lauren. The bra thing is very amusing. The scene where Harry hires out the mercs is great-I guess Nott wasn't too specific on contract details-of course it's possible that they're still working for the other side, playing double agent as it were. Interesting to see a story where Harry earns the animosity of Goblins-I wonder is that will apply to Goblins in the UK as well? I wonder what will happen to Hack? His demon qualities are rather disturbing, but I love his loyalty. I'm eager to read the sequel, but I guess it won't be for a while.
JBern replied:
Even though it's over you still love it? That makes me pleased. More on the Gobs later....
Nott just place a general bounty out. He didn't hire specific groups. That's why the hunters were available for hire. More on Hack later... More on everything later...~Jim
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:17pm
Wow. Just so impressive that I almost don't want this to end. Great to see how things oplayed out, loved Fleur's ultimatum to Luna, and that Luna has started to figure out what's more important to her now, as well as Harry with his troll, and gang of bounty hunters now, that's going to be impressive at the meetings to say the least, along with the madness that follows Harry around, will be interesting to see how things might go if Harry and Luna get together, and Luna finds out about the tryst Hary had with Laura in the future. Just an excellent story.
JBern replied:
Thanks again for all the reviews. Glad you enjoyed the story. The sequel will be along in due time.~Jim
Quizer posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 10:54pm
Very nice. A worthy conclusion to this first story arc. With this chapter, you've gone far beyond your usual level of quality.
Great job on the aftermath. I'm looking forward to see what Hack the Demonically Augmented Troll can do.
The horcrux destruction, goblin negotiations and the encounter with Moody were also great. I really love the sarcastic humor that pervades this story. The high points of this chapters are probably Luna's message (we waited for that one a long time), and the negotiations with the bounty hunters. I couldn't keep the grin off my face during that part! (You've got Harry thinking twice about Bill 'winding up' the killing curse, though - might want to remove one of those instances from Harry's internal monologue.)
Great job, and I'm looking forward to the next part. Are you really going to delay working on it until TFtCD is complete? How long (# of chapters) is that going to take?
Quizer
JBern replied:
Oops. I'll have to add that to the list of things to fix. Thanks for all the reviews.~Jim
Louise Postlethwaite posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 10:27pm
Thank you for writing, I enjoyed to trip and I'm looking forward to enjoying the sequel.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. ~Jim
veive posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 7:14am
JBern replied: