Sonicdale posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 7:40am

Nice.
The decent into insanity at the end was a nice touch. Loved the battle. Harry's will was shockingly first person... :)

Good work.

JBern replied:

I appreciate the compliments.   Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 7:32am

"Shroom" Harry was great. Hooray for Harry's blend of sharp dark humour and absolute bitterness. Still giggling over Hack the Hulk. Harry the Zombie is an interesting image - love the magical gaucho too and the Press conference was superb. The fight scenes seem deliciously punchy. Love Harry's way of defeating the Demon. More please. Love this story as always. Just wish poor Harry would hear from Luna!

JBern replied:

Thanks again for all the reviews.~Jim

john241 posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 7:00am

Nice story. I love the second person.

JBern replied:

Thanks~Jim

Bedrup posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 4:00am

Un f...ing beliavable. In the good way. That was a kick ass ass kicking.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.   Sorry for the tardy reply.~Jim

warpwizard posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 3:26am

Awesome battle, you had me feeling the tension. Harry's will was a nice summation of his feelings. I'm definitely jonesing for a sequel/aftermath. Heh, Demon bone, they are thinking like adventurers all right. Harry and the other breakers should work together before they separate and make each of them a few cool items from the Demon.

Error check:

Hack nods appreciatively, but wants the straps adjusted slightly higher and made a bit more *taunt.

*taut

JBern replied:

I'll add that to my list of errata.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter.   Sorry for my tardy response.~Jim

Taren posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 2:29am

That was a pretty impressive battle. You managed to keep the daemon immensely powerful and still have Harry and Co. defeat it without becoming supermen.

The wills were a nice touch. The thirty pieces of silver really shows how betrayed Harry feels. However if Snape got his hands on it he would claim it's another sign of his arrogance and a clear sign of a messiah complex.

It’s an Abraxan with a broken wing and both its back legs broken, but still dragging itself forward. Perseverance, you like that in your zombie hordes

Harry has some pretty high standards for his future zombie hordes.

I was disappointed that Luna didn't write back. Was it because Dumbledore hadn't bothered to return her book after she showed it to him? I'm sure that if she had read any of Harry's last letters she would have responded.

With everything Harry has done now I don't see how he could go back to being a simple school boy. He has seen and done things that the Hogwarts kids would never understand. Can't see snape even fazing him now, and if they did Harry's response would likely surprise him. (Ward the potions classroom against Slytherins or Death Eaters).

If he does end up at Hogwarts I can't wait to see what wards he does use to protect himself from his "friends".

JBern replied:

But I'm sure Snape would love his slinky!   Glad you enjoyed it.   I think you'll like some of the ideas for the sequel.~Jim

Fishburne posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 2:18am

Ok, second re-read - yes, thats 3 times for you "irritating" folk, and its just as good as the first read. The question that remains in my mind, at least, is just how much of the daemon did Harry injest, and just how does its magic work? Will Harry have the knowledge "he knows not"? Will Dumbles finally shut the hell up and leave the rest of the world alone? Find out next time on another installment of "As JBern turns"!!!11!!!!!!!eleventy

Ok, so now I have read this thing (the WHOLE thing) through 3 times, I gotta say, this is an absolute favorite. Thanks for writing this.

Fish

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it FISH.   Hope chapter 23 met your expectations as well and that it continues to stand the test of rereading.~Jim

coronal posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 2:09am

Ok, this was freakin' SWEET! Just an awesome battle. I've been waiting for this one, and you did not disappoint. Now I really can't wait to see what's next. They're gonna get Riddle's Horcrux, and then there's not much point in staying in South American any more, is there, so I wonder what will follow.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments and apologies for the slow reply on my part.~Jim

Cholera posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 12:49am

Wow. I'm addicted to your story. The suspens ! The fights ! The humor !
Thank you for writing !

JBern replied:

Thank you.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 12:28am

It was a very good battle you showed me in the rough. This finished piece IS the epic you wanted. You've every right to be proud and I'm delighted for you.

This is a wonderful description: "Like a locomotive slamming into a petrol lorry, the two of you hit."

You added the right amount of detail to make us see, feel, and hear the battle.

I'm very glad to hear that Hack will make it. I want Harry to go back to England with a troll for a good friend. Many have written Ron acting like a butthead over Harry making friends with a Slytherin or a goblin or vampire. You can write for pages about Ron's prejudices over a troll friend and give Harry plenty of zingers about Hack standing by him.

The detail at the end about mining the dead demon for his body parts and such, cements Harry as a member of the cursebreaker's club. His happiness with Bill at this moment and with these thoughts was a marvelous addition.

OH - I CAN'T WAIT to see Dumbledore's face either when he hears about this battle.

Simply marvelous!

JBern replied:

I'd like to take a moment to thank you for all your thoughts and commentary on the story.   I really appreciated your help.~Jim

Lufio posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 11:52pm

Heh. Bill is hilarious at the end. "Shoo! Get away!" The cheering charms making them happy drunks cracks me up.

And, yeah, the battle was great. I like the pacing and the gradual revelation that the Patronus spell and then the animagi transformation would be the things to win the fight.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked the unnaturally chipper Bill.   Hope that was like no 'big battle' you had seen before.~Jim

DrT posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 11:37pm

I hope that this is it for surprises in the lost city. I look forward to the rest of the story.

"T"

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'm finally catching up on all my delinquent replies.  ~Jim

traveller posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 11:11pm

Errrr... Wow...

Maybe more later, but I don't think so. It seems to cover it.

Traveller

JBern replied:

Thanks~Jim

Quizer posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 10:25pm

Great to see you update again! You have every right to be proud of this battle, it's got everything an epic battle needs, including spoils of war! I'm very much looking forward to the next chapters and Harry's return to England. The aftermath of this battle should be very satisfying. Is Harry getting a Luna response any time soon?

Keep up the good work!


Quizer

JBern replied:

Sorry for the delay in my response, as you can see I'v been busy.   Glad you enjoyed chapter 22 and the epilogue should have answered your questions.~Jim

dic posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 10:03pm

damn nice chapter!
and i think it's good that no one else died..
thundercloud, collins and hack's pretty witch are enough of a death toll ^^
well yeah i don't think i left a review here before, but it really was time so... really nice story you have here.. keep up da good work!

ps towards the end:
He’s still alive. I’m gave him a double dose... -> maybe look at that closely.. sounds funny ^^

JBern replied:

Thanks for the comments.   Glad you liked it. Fifty percent is a pretty high casualty rate.~Jim

jgkitarel posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 8:27pm

Nice fight.

Big Badass Daemon: 0

Team Harry: 1

Something to say about attacking from prepared positions, don't you agree? You also had this filled with the kind of Gallows humor that a soldier understands.

Keep it up.

JBern replied:

Sorry for the delay in my response, but your review pretty much said it all.   Glad you liked it.~Jim

zac posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 8:00pm

Holy crap...now that was a final battle...well done. I loved the idea of the thirty pieces of silver too. This is an amazing story and i am really lookig foreword to the sequal.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Hope you liked chapter 23.~Jim

aemon_targaryen posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 7:48pm

That was awesome. Harry Potter, Alpha Predator! I can't believe they all survived the battle, but I guess they still may succumb to their wounds. I like that Thundercloud gave aid from beyond the grave. I really like Harry's will-I hope he holds on to that anger in the upcoming chapters and the sequel. Too many stories with a wronged Harry has him forgiving everyone too easily.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked the Alpha Predator.   Hope you enjoyed chapter 23.   Sorry for the delay in responding.~Jim

uNople posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 6:14pm

wow, awesome. Such an epic battle. Thanks for writing.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the praise.   Glad I impressed you.~Jim

joe aka waytoobored posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 5:56pm

Wow, great chapter. Please excuse any bad grammar or misspelled words I'm a bit hammered as I celbrated my graduation with my fraternity brothers tonight. I am trying to stay awake long enough to drink some water to avoid a hangover and i have to say that reading this chapter helped alot with that goal. I have to say that this is my favorite story of yours and while I started reading your harry/susan story first and thought i would never like this one I definately like this story better then your others. I can't wait to see the Harry/Dumbledore face off in the next couple of chapters and the sequel following that. Keep up the good work cant wait for more chapters.

Joe aka waytoobored and wasted

JBern replied:

Cangrats on graduation.   Get a job ya bum!   Anyway, thanks for the praise.   Now I just need to finish my other story.~Jim