MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 1:47pm

First I want to welcome you to ffauthors.net. Now that I have gotten to this point in your story, I want to say that I am really enjoying your storyline. I have never read a story were just Bill is helping Harry. I like how you had everyone trying to control how Harry lives his live. I hope you update soon.

MPF
P.S. You can't get busted reading at work when you are the Boss.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the welcome.   I am happy that you are enjoying the storyline.   Chapter 14 is in the works and should be ready during the weekend.

It's good to be the boss, isn't it?

Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 1:15pm

I have never been keen on using this voice in writing, but you're doing a wondeful job with it.

The stream of consciousness insults and sarcasm is terrific!

Just great!

JBern replied:

Sadly, I use alot of my own inner monologue for Harry in this story.   What does that say about me?   Probably that I am a sarcastic little so and so.   :)

Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 1:06pm

Excellent! I have always wanted to write a Luna-faking-it, but I've never found the right hook.

Now I may never because you just created the quintessential hook for it and I can only hope to create one "not as good."

Great fun!

JBern replied:

I've seen so many stories with Luna the seer, Luna the empath .... but I have never seen Luna the prankster.   She has some deep seated issues that are going to come to light shortly.   Everything is a game to her.   Of course, the easiest person to lie to is yourself.

Jim

Magnificent the Destroyer Lord posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 12:28pm

*sits at desk wearing straightjacket typing with toes* Great job! The last bit with Hack (s/p?) made me laugh the hardest along with the animated drawing of Amazing Ferret-boy.

*guard knocks on door to padded cell* Uh-oh... well, hope to see updates soon and keep up the good work! *hides lap-top under desk... starts laughing maniacally again... guard shakes head and leaves*

JBern replied:

Well I am glad not to have gotten you in trouble with the guard.   Padded rooms are very comfy aren't they?

Seriously, glad you are enjoying the story.~Jim

 

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 9:13am

Never have I read a Ginny AND Hermione turn on Harry story. And Ron AND the twins.

Different. What will you do with it?

Fascinating!

JBern replied:

The most difficult thing was to do it, but make it believable.   Many of the reasons won't come out until the sequel, but I think you will be pleased.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 8:32am

Most interesting style you've chosen. I'm not much of a fan of Harry-leaves-Hogwarts-early, but this is fascinating.

Gripping start!

JBern replied:

Glad you enjoyed it.   Just trying to catch up on my reviews.~Jim

sylver_skoon posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 2:07am

Quote:
You close your eyes and think about the three extremely attractive Canadian girls you saw in the lobby as you drift off to sleep.
Endquote

Please note that almost all our girls are attractive

a Canadian


Sylver

JBern replied:

Well I am glad to here that!   These just happened to be 3 very attractive specimens of female Canadian beauty.   They actually will be showing up again in a few chapters.~Jim

fx posted a comment on Tuesday 7th November 2006 11:15pm

Another Luna letter not italicized

"YOU UNBELIEVEABLE GIT!!! COULDN’T KEEP A SECRET FOR TEN FREAKING MINUTES! Just kidding. I understand. You have a lot going on and plus I think I recognized a certain eldest brother, so I guess we are even. Tell anyone else and all bets are off."

JBern replied:

Got it.   I'll fix it as soon as I catch up.   You haven't said whether or not you are enjoying the story so far.~Jim

Fishburne posted a comment on Tuesday 7th November 2006 11:00am

Ok, Hack's last line killed me.

It is a real pleasure to have you here JBern!!

Fish - the other pink meat.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the welcome.   Who doesn't love a troll with an attitude?~Jim

Omagic posted a comment on Tuesday 7th November 2006 7:49am

Excellent opening chapter! The plot premise and delivery are both quite gripping and very creative. One of the best opening chapters I've read.

JBern replied:

Thank you very much!   With the opening chapter, I attempted to create both excitement and confusion.   Most tell me that I have succeeded.   I look forward to more of your reviews.~Jim

maki posted a comment on Tuesday 7th November 2006 1:05am

You hope.....

Well who cares :D

Great story.I read it before on FF.net .Keep your work going it is good.I cant really remember any good story ´s where harry is into warding or Curse Breaking.Thank you for pointing out this possibility.

Greetings

maki

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Chapter 14 is in progress.~Jim

wicked posted a comment on Tuesday 7th November 2006 1:01am

"Sadly, it’s their winter there, which means we have to bundle up, as the temperature gets as low as 13 or 18 degrees Celsius at night and usually in the 20’s during the day. It’s rough weather compared to winter in Scotland, but you’ll manage."
Actually, thats pretty warm. You can walk around in short sleeves when its 20 ° Celsius. For reference, 0 ° is the water freezing point, and around here it gets as low as -25 ° in winter. I think it gets even colder than that in Scotland.

JBern replied:

Err- Bill was being sarcastic about the temperature.   I guess you didn't pick up on that or I wasn't fully able to convey that.   Given that future chapters talk about Harry being out at a Magical Only beach in shorts playing dodgespell.

Jim

fx posted a comment on Tuesday 7th November 2006 12:15am

You forgot to italize Luna's written part
"Dear Harry,

Well, that certainly was a surprise for both of us! It’s a little cramped in coach, I keep trying to convince Daddy to fly first class, but he insists that we would be monitored if we did. Apparently, armpit odor of many people crowded together must prevent this type of monitoring. Ignore my horrible handwriting..."

JBern replied:

Oops.   It must have not converted when I took the original word doc and converted it to html.   I'll fix it.   Thanks.~Jim

Terry Swain posted a comment on Monday 6th November 2006 3:29am

Great chapter and story. looking forward to more. :)

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.   I am working on chapter 14 this week.~Jim

uthamm posted a comment on Monday 6th November 2006 2:42am

'No. Hack's dick hurt'. Comedy Gold!
I am shaking my head and trying to not laugh out loud at work.

Good story. I like the teen angst angle with Harry & Luna. Too many fanfics act like no one is awkward at that age. Welcome to fanficauthors! Another great story at a great site!

JBern replied:

Glad you managed not to get busted.   Thank you for the compliments.   I am starting chapter 14 today and hope to have it up by the weekend.~Jim

Ken Warner posted a comment on Monday 6th November 2006 2:36am

Excellent story - after the rocky start it keeps getting better and better - I like the way you have illuminated the difficulty in achieving a balance with the animal form - it has got to be more than a mild compulsion to chase mice, and eat them raw, bones and all - so having him struggle with it over an extended period is appropriate (did James and the Marauders {might be a cool band name}get any help with this?) Looking forward to having Harry get back to England and being face to face so to speak with Luna, and introducing Narina and Chico as his summer project gone bad.

thanks for an enjoyable read - i do not envy you the difficulty of not only coming up with an original plot, but writing it all in 2nd person has to be a ball buster.
Warm Regards - Off to search for the rest of your H/SB story.

JBern replied:

Thank you.   Until Harry get's a chance to ask Remus, he may not know how the Marauders did it.   Perhaps James, Sirius and Peter went to learn this way' of doing it?  

As Thundercloud would constantly point out, the European method is a scientific approach that seeks to completely repress the animal instincts and place the human mind in complete control.   The method he taught Harry is about realizing that the animal form is just another form equal but different than his human form.   Instead of seeking to repress the instincts he should welcome their presence into his spirit and use that knowledge to further enlighten himself.

Pretty heavy crap, I know.   But remember Magic around the world should be viewed differently.   He was quick to point out when the white man came to America that European magic was more structured and organized.   It was better suited to combat on a large scale so I don't want you to think that this is a fic where everything they do at Hogwarts is wrong and bad.   Differences can exist.   Harry's thought process right now will just paint everything that he did at Hogwarts in a bad light.   He's not very pleased with them right now, as you can well imagine.~Jim

 

Life's a Dance posted a comment on Sunday 5th November 2006 8:47pm

OH MY GODDESS!!!!!!!! I can't believe you actually put that line in...my fiance and I busted up in laughter over it at a quarter to 2 in the morning and almost woke everyone up! Good story and update soon, please!

"No. Hack’s dick hurt."

Rooting for the sore-crotched troll-
Rhiannon and Richard

JBern replied:

I know it was shameful potty humor, but I was grinning like a maniac when I hit the submit button for that chapter.   You two got off lucky in some respects.   I had at least  a few  honest souls tell me that there was choking on food and beverage including some beverage going up and out the nostrils.   I actually had intended on ending the chapter with Harry agonizing on how to respond to Luna, but the need to write that punchline forced me to push through specifically so I could write that scene to end a chapter.   We are within 3-4 chapters of finally catching up to chapter 1's starting point.   Expect Hack to be a permanent fixture in the storyline from here on out.   Maybe like any great entertainer, Hack knows when to leave them wanting more?

Harry certainly has a Motley Crew around him, doesn't he?~Jim

 

Ken Warner posted a comment on Sunday 5th November 2006 5:11pm

that does sound like an exciting game, both to play and to watch - the visual images are reminiscent of volleyball for some reason.
thanks for coming up with another totally new sport

JBern replied:

I started with Dodgeball as my template.   You would think that the wizarding world would have a game that actively allows the participants to cast spells at each other.   One of the things I usually find disappointing in other stories is the lack of anything other than Quidditch, chess and studying in stories.   You would think that with magic, a whole new world of entertainment would be open to children of a wizarding society?   So, I am trying to do my part and like I said, I really don't mind if others use it in their stories.   While I might be biased, I'd rather play Dodgespell than Quidditch.~Jim

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Sunday 5th November 2006 4:25pm

I owe you an apology! You see, despite the fact that I love you as an author... I resisted reading this story. The title and summary just didn't sound like something I would like.

I was wrong!

This is wonderful. I love how you have written it in first person present tense... especially when Harry changes into the Jaguar. The way you have kept the story moving along without having to resort to a narrator's point of view is a fantastic bit of writing.

I eagerly look forward to reading the rest and hope that you will give us the inevitable confrontation between Harry and the traitors... if not in this story then in its sequel... please?

I hope that you will post more soon.

JBern replied:

I'm told it's actually second person present tense, but thank you.   The first couple of chapters are a difficult read and the confusion there is somewhat intentional.   It would be nice to be able to define my world in terms of meat.   His clarity will be progressing.   He probably won't be back in England until the sequel, but that day as well as explanations for people's behavior is coming.   I start writing 14 today.   ~Jim

Ken Warner posted a comment on Sunday 5th November 2006 4:18pm

young and naive and noble is a pretty fair description for Harry - how could he be otherwise - and if it gets him into the arms etc of a mother supporting a son with whatever assets she has, oh well.

very much liking the story now - vastly more readable than chapter 2
thanks and by the way - Welcome to Fan Fic Authors - the elite of the fanfic world

JBern replied:

You really didn't like chapter 2, did you?   Thanks for sticking with it.   Of course having seen a flash of the future, is Karina still a factor in his life?~Jim