warpwizard posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 2:16pm

Ahhhh...delicious. Thank you very much. Great chapter. Meaty.

There were almost too many things I really loved to mention them all without typing out half the fic. Especially...hm...it was great to hear from Luna again. Hack as Harry's watchtroll is a really cool and sensible idea, as is his minor demonic upgrade. You think about magic like I do.

I'm anticipating the "in-person" sequel, with more character interaction.

Oh, I loved the idea of the "two Harrys". Awesome! Great way to explain all sorts of things. :)

Oh, and the negotiation with the bountry hunters: great. Money is power and Harry needs to learn to swing his weight around.

Thanks again for writing A grade stuff, it makes my day a lot brighter.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   The sequel will be a while in coming, but good things come to those that wait...

Jim

Patches posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 1:49pm

Thank goodness they got out of there ok. Of course the price was high losing Maria Sanchez and Jake Collins. That was too bad. Thundercloud was a terrible loss. He was such a great man and he helped even after he died. I'm glad they all got to go to their funerals. Of course that couldn't all go smooth. It is interesting that it was Harry that ended up hiring the would-be-bounty hunters. At least that might help some things back in England but with Harry's track record it will probably trigger some other kind of problem. I'm glad they avoided Dumbledore in South America. Harry is getting good at that. I can't imagine Harry brining back a troll but Hack is special.
I am so glad Luna wrote back. She finally saw the light, thank goodness. I'm glad she and Harry have a chance when he finally gets back to Hogwarts. That will be interesting. It looks like Harry is going to have a child in America. I'm glad he told Lauren that he wants to be involved in the child's life after all the danger is over. This is a great story and I look forward to the sequel. Thanks for writing. pms

JBern replied:

Glad you enjoyed it.   More problems are always a good thing.   There's a lot planned for the sequel.~Jim

Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 1:46pm

Wow! That was quite a wrap up! There are a specifics comments I'll make, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again... you're a brillant writer and this story easily ranks in my top five. Now on to more specific comments...

1) I loved how Harry isn't the great friend of the gobs in this story/timeline. But still also manages to befriend one of the down-trodden (Hack). Can't wait to see how he fits in in England.

2) I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like Lauren. To the point where I actually want her to end up with Harry ultimately. Hmm, maybe a harem of "L"'s? I have the sinking feeling though that you're going to use Lauren's pregnancy as a roadblock for Harry's final 'ship. After all, wouldn't a girl have some serious reservations about a guy who was out there sowing his oats, quite literally? Granted, this arrangement seems more in line with a sperm bank, but the personal aspect of actually making love to the woman, let alone truly wanting to be part of the child's life is bound to cause problems... and I can't see Harry backing away from his fatherly duties.

3) What can I say? I love your rendition of Fleur. I hope we see more of "this" Fleur in your other story, the "Lie I've Lived." JKR's Fleur sounds like someone I'd be highly attracted to, maybe even crush on a bit. This Fleur I would jump on like a starving man on a doughnut.

4) Actually contracting a hit out on someone, even a Death Eater, is a worrying step for Harry. I'm a bit afraid that his experiences over the summer have given him a darker outlook on life (hell, it's only to be expected.) I hope that being around Lauren and Luna will help his lighter side re-emerge.

5) Ron and Hermione... payback's a bitch, isn't it? I hope that they get to read some of what Harry wrote to Luna about his experiences. I also am hopeful for a reconciliation, given what he wrote to Luna about what it means to be friends. And as much as I'd like to see Harry with Hermione, I am not sure they would work out well in this timeline, so please hold out on that for another story. :) Maybe Neville or Seamus would be a good match for her... As for Ron, well we never got to see much of him in this one so it's hard to read what D's manipulations have done to him.

I could go on here, but let's just say I am looking forwards to the next one!

JBern replied:

Thanks for the massive review.   There are some interesting things planned for the sequel.   Good things come to those who wait...

Jim

Brett Gordon posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 1:40pm

Super amazing awesome.
I don't review often, but I had to tell you I greatly enjoyed your fic. I didn't think anybody could make 2nd person work and be a good read. I'm glad I was wrong.
Keep it up. You are now in my very short list of authors of whom I will read anything they write (the list contains only 2 others)
Again, fantastic
BadVoodoo

JBern replied:

Thanks BV.   Glad you liked it.   I hope the sequel meets your expectations.~Jim

coronal posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 1:25pm

Wait, you're not going into Turn Me Loose until your other fic is done? Damn! I mean, sure, I like it a lot, but this one is brilliant!!!

I REALLY want to see where things go from here, but I can wait, I suppose.

Thanks for the fast update. This was kickass

JBern replied:

Good things come to those who wait.~Jim

millercommamatt posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 1:16pm

You sit down in from of the warm glow of your computer to see what new and interesting things the Internet has to bring you. As you check the comments you've received on your most recently completed Harry Potter fanfiction story, you see one that gives you praise on your masterfully crafted tale and expresses bright hopes for your future endeavors. A wry smile creeps across your face. You say to yourself, "Liked that one did you? You ain't see nothin' yet." A half crazed, slightly villainous laugh echoes through the room as you tilt your head back and succumb to the cacophony unleashed by the thoughts of your own future deeds.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.   Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim

Cu posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 1:03pm

I've really enjoyed reading this. Best points are:

- Abundance of original ideas in HP fandom (although some overused cliches are present too.)
- Witty sense of humour.
- Consistent style and flow.
- Second person perspective.
- Strong original characters.

The popularity of this story is well deserved, and I am definitely looking forward to the sequel.

This last chapter feels a bit hastily wrapped up, compared to the better measured pace of the rest of the story, but pulling off a satisfactory ending is one of the greatest challenges of writing. The systematical tying of loose ends makes the flow of the chapter rather mechanical.

Harry casually siring a child is unbelievably out of character, taking in consideration how the way he was raised defines his personality. The circumstances you describe don't justify this violation of the basic principles one might expect from the character, in my opinion.

My sincere congratulations for Finishing A Good Fan Fiction (tm). Healthy amounts of shoulder patting are in order. Thanks a lot to the author and betas for sharing with us the fruit of their hard work.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the long and complimentary review.   Glad you enjoyed it.   I don't think Harry casually sired a child.   He realized how short life actually can be.   Plus she had a convincing arguement.~Jim

M2J MandalorianJedi posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 12:56pm

Well, not exactly a happy ending, but real enough and evrything did pretty much turn out alright in the end. Harry even managed to get the girl. I'll leave it open to interpretation as to which girl, but hey it fits.

How much is going to be revealed when Harry arrives? It's bad for Dumbledore's credibility and overall Morale for the lightside if Harry totally blasts Dumbledore, plus there is no way in hell he'd ever be buddy buddy with Ron and Hermione or Ginny ever again. Will there be a new trio? Harry, Luna and... Hack? He'd make a great Hufflepuff. Throw in Neville and you have a quartet representing 4 houses, with Harry being the Snake, Luna the Raven and Neville the Lion... j/k.

We all know Harry is going back to school, so where will Bill, Kwan, and Troll/Demon Hack fit in?

Maybe Snape will have an 'accident' and Kwan could be DADA professor!

JBern replied:

Interesting thoughts on the houses.   Still, I think you'll be happy with what I have in mind.~Jim

Silent Claw posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 12:53pm

Oh, this is great. Please start in on the sequel now, and let us see what happens to Dumbldore and Snape!

JBern replied:

All in good time.   Thanks for the review.~Jim

mathiasgranger posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 12:45pm

Ok...for a Harry/Luna fic...there was absolutely no Harry/Luna romance...but hey he fucked and chucked about four girls...way to be a man whore Harry.

Thanks for writing,
Matt

JBern replied:

Well on the other sites, romance isn't listed only action/adventure and humor.   The romance will be more important for the sequel.   Plus he only got naked with 3 girls.     I think that people will appreciate the romance even more if it is believeably paced.~Jim

Hikage posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 12:34pm

I just finished reading the whole story from beginning to end and I must I'm impressed with the story line. I liked reading this Harry Potter story for the fact that it's so different from all of the others I've read recently and I can't wait to read the sequel.

JBern replied:

Thank you.   I think different is good.   Glad you appreciate it.~Jim

ursis001 posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 12:28pm

This is one of the most of the most original HP stories I have read in a long time.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks, ursis001

JBern replied:

Thanks.~Jim

zac posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 12:16pm

that bit about the lesser of two evils was really profound. This whole story is simply brilliant and now i am going to go back and re-read it. so long and thanks for all the fish. until next time.

JBern replied:

Glad you really appreciated the story.~Jim

Prophet_ posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 12:01pm

Man, that was really good. Hope you get the sequal up soon.

JBern replied:

Thank you.~Jim

nezza posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:56am

jim what a conclusion

although i want to see the fun bags and co confrontation right now i can't wait to see what you come up with now that you've handed it over to the sequel.

also please don't rush your other two stories as they're shapping up really well.

a great story that i have already reread twice just waiting for the final update!!

good work

JBern replied:

Thanks for all the reviews.   I appreciate it.   Hopefully, it stands the test of rereading.~Jim

Taegeous posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:55am

There were so many good lines in this chapter, I can't pick just one. Excellent work.

JBern replied:

Thank you.   Glad you liked it.~Jim

BloodTalons posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:48am

WOOHOO!!!

Excellent way to wrap things up for this part of the Adventure. Glad you had Harry go see to the funerals.

I was also happy to see Luna make a step in healing that aspect of things.

Now, I'm looking forward to the sequel and really interested in seeing all the traits that inherits from the demon. It appears that he at least got some of the Sight.

Great Job.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   I won't be starting the sequel until my other story finishes, but I'm already excited.~Jim

DaZZa posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:47am

An excellent piece of work - I admit to nejoying it immensely despite myself. Well done.

JBern replied:

Glady you can admit to liking it.   :)

Jim

Paul Dueck posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:39am

Awesome!

Although I am inclined to the violent parts more then the 'personal development parts' I enjoyed the wrap up.

Congratulations on completing a very good story.

Paul

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you really enjoyed it.~Jim

forbin posted a comment on Tuesday 8th May 2007 11:36am

This is a great story! Looking forward to your sequel.

JBern replied:

Thanks~Jim