flynhghr posted a comment on Thursday 19th November 2009 4:07pm

AHh, finally Harry breaks the cherry! Or is it James learns about dames? Aww heck it's all good fun. I thought the leaving his money thing was chintzy and will cheapen the night for sure, not that Karina would mind being she has a kid and all. The ice lips is a great idea and it makes me wonder what else you have in store for Harry. Will Amy get a taste of Harry's new spell?

flynhghr posted a comment on Thursday 19th November 2009 3:21pm

Harry playing with his identity is fun, and he should have invited the girl while he changed just to see the reaction. It's not like they're going to know eachother for more than a week or two, right. Plus maybe she would have got more friendly than a walk home. I mean come on, he is 15/16 right? Gah, I dunno what Harry is thinking, but Jamacian Rum and coke is one of the best drinks on earth for chilling out. Oh well, at least he got to show off his Stag, just needs a doe for the day.

flynhghr posted a comment on Thursday 19th November 2009 2:42pm

Attractive Canadian girls? Really?! Hmm, this chapter didn't move much, mostly the plane ride and a couple Luna-book entries. Oh, and the first thing he should've told Bill is he's never gotten his cigar smoked by a Veela. Of course I supposed he does want to say in good graces with the guy. I'm surprised you dropped so much about Luna in the first entry, one thinks she was dieing for someone to come out to. That's another example of fine writing.

flynhghr posted a comment on Thursday 19th November 2009 2:10pm

Aaand the plot thickens. Oh Harry I have this terribly expensive magical object and no friends to give it to, why don't you take it so we can chat? Ok ok, I know you needed a way to get them together but really? A chance meeting in a muggle airport. I do like Luna, but I don't think she's as barmy as most fics put her out to be. It's obvious it's a front, but you know there's good reasons. Harry hangin with Bill is good, but it's interesting that he didn't just hit up Gringotts at 6am to lockdown his vaults after getting a nice going away present from em. Harry also should've asked Bill to pick up his broom and dispell the tracker on it, he is a curse breaker after all. Good writing, despite somewhat messy plot weaving.

flynhghr posted a comment on Thursday 19th November 2009 1:30pm

While the POV is different and interesting I'm not sure if I like the direction things are going. Hermione pull one over on Harry? Sheeit, if Harry can't lie then Hermione is bollocks at it too, at least to him 'n Ron. Hmm, "sexual inhibitor" that sounds like a challange.. :D

Tracey1 posted a comment on Monday 9th November 2009 6:29am

Okay, I said I would review at the end of the story so here it goes. When I first started reading this story I wasn't too sure about the 2nd person view. It was a little disconcerting in the beginning. As I read more of the story it kinda grew on me. I have read a lot of fanfic and I must say that you are one hell of a writer. This was a facinating read. The story flowed well for the most part and it was definatly a unique storyline.

Now for the critical part: spelling and grammar ck and a little better editing would have been appreciated. There were several sentences along the way that seemed to have missing or too many words so that they didnt make a whole lot of sense.

That said, I'm off to read the sequel. Great job!!

Tracey1 posted a comment on Sunday 8th November 2009 3:19pm

I absolutely loved your nod to the wonderful Cloris Leachman and the best movie role ever!! I'm off to finish reading this rather interesting fic and will review fully at the end.

PaulKellington posted a comment on Friday 11th September 2009 3:47am

Why did I take so long to read this? Maybe I'm not into HairyMoon?

Actually, I remember starting this in it's first few chapters and not keeping up.

My mistake.

I was captured by the POV and the writing style. The short, choppy chain-of-thought work was well executed and interesting. You're always fun to read but this piece got me in trouble (I'm way behind in my work now.)

Thanks for all of your efforts and for giving me another story to "Highly Recommend".

lorddwar posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 9:57pm

I really enjoyed this story. You have a great way of writing Harry's helpers. Hack is perfect.

I seem to find myself waiting for two of your storylines to be completed. I wish you extra time for writing.

Dwar

Ezra'eil posted a comment on Thursday 30th April 2009 1:43pm

Damn, I really love this chapter, and the whole story really... I decided to come back and read, and found something, isn't it Hoggy Warty Hogwarts? Not Hoggy Hogwarts? Meh, anywho good chapter, and I shall be back in the next to comment...

Lathena posted a comment on Friday 23rd January 2009 6:48am

I would like to file a complaint. Due to the realism, convincing plot, and excellent character development in your stories, I'm having issues reading other authors fanfictions without gagging at the sugar content or shaking my head in disbelief at the plotholes and weak characters. As such I'm forced to reread your stories (and some of the other authors on this site as well). Obviously, since you have no control over other people, you should have written more stories. Please correct this. ;-)

Lathena posted a comment on Monday 19th January 2009 9:39am

I loved this story! You are a great author. *picture gushing fangirl* All your magic was great like the spell chaining, animigus, curse-breaking (I want to learn now!). Your characters were great, especially Bill, Thunderbird, Kwan, and err everyone. Your Harry was strong without being obnoxious. I liked his relationships with the different girls. It was real and gave him a chance to grow up and mature-another thing you did very well here. From beginning to end your Harry was real and believable. I also liked your ending, whether or not the kid ends up coming into play. You gave them an unstoppable villian, but managed to kill him realistically and your fight scene, despite being numerous, were never boring. Also your humor was a great touch. In addition to the fantastic drama, humor, action, and just a dash of romance makes for the perfect story.
The second person thing was odd whenever I restarted reading, but it allows you to do things you normally can't that I really enjoyed. plus it is a very different writing style.
These are just the things I can come up with right away. There were a ton of other things I loved, but I'm in to much of a hurry to start the sequel to continue, hope its just as good.
Amazing work!!

Lathena posted a comment on Sunday 18th January 2009 10:16am

I'll probably review again, but I just had to comment that this second person thing, while confusing at first, seems to be catching as I kept doing it when I was forced away from reading. Anywho, I'm enjoying where this is going and can't wait to read more.

Concealed Convict posted a comment on Saturday 3rd January 2009 8:15am

Great story so far. The second person perspective was a little off-putting at first, but it actually works really well. It's interesting. The story is engaging and the Luna character you are using appears as if it could be really well written as well. I can't wait to read the continuation of the events in the summer and further reactions from the Weasleys.

Concealed-Convict

fyrecat posted a comment on Saturday 27th December 2008 8:07pm

Great chapter, and a fantastic story! Thanks so much.
So much for keeping riddle in the dark about his missing horcrux for a year. I'll bet that pissed him off.
Thanks for not getting all mushy at Thundercloud's funeral.
It looks like Luna and Harry's friendship is on the mend. Go Fleur!
Great scene with the bounty hunters. It reminds me just a bit of the scene in Firefly where Mal Hired Jayne.
Finally Harry and Lauren get wiggly! Yay Harry!
I'm curious to see what interesting and creative use Harry will put the Bra rune schemes to.

and finally, Editorial notes:
"...with Nikolai Colastos is seated next to you."
- with Nikolai Colastos seated next to you.

"...Dimperio is going to a portion of the Ministries share to the Goblins..."
- is going to *what* a portion...
- give? sneak?

"We can be packed in out of here in a few hours."
- Packed *and* out of here...

"You sure you’re not seeing trick light tricks or glamours?""
- "...seeing light tricks or glamours?"

"Oh that get’s the blood pumping."
- ...gets... No apostrophe needed here.

fyrecat posted a comment on Saturday 27th December 2008 12:09pm

GREAT fight scene!!! I love the plans to make use of daemon parts!


Editorial notes:
"They’re as ‘immortal’ as far as they’re concerned"
- They’re ‘immortal’ as far as...

"How many more errors will the fates allow you to make, before it throws the fatal one your way?"
- IS it Fate, singular, or The fates, Plural?
- If it is 'Fate', then it throws the fatal one.
- if it is the fates, then 'they' will be doing the throwing.

"His rational is.."
- His rationale is...
- Rational is an adjective, it describes a person.
- Rationale is a noun meaning fundamental reasons.
- http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rationale

"...wants the straps adjusted slightly higher and made a bit more taunt."
- a bit more taut.
- taut means tighter
- taunt means to tease

"You don’t know whether or not to be flattered or angry."
-whether to be flattered or angry...

"Gagging at the taste of whatever it calls blood you wretch,..."
- retch: to make efforts to vomit.
- wretch: a deplorably unfortunate or unhappy person.

"...before helping you more of your wounds."
- helping you more *with* your wounds?
- helping you *heal* more of your wounds?

fyrecat posted a comment on Saturday 27th December 2008 10:01am

Ah ha. You clever bastard! You had been planning Thundercloud's death all along. I wonder how Lauren would feel about that?


Editorial notes:
"...and blasts you off your feet and spinning into the wall."
- and sends you spinning into the wall.

"I want to go to."
- I want to go too.
- too = also, as well, in addition.

fyrecat posted a comment on Saturday 27th December 2008 8:28am

NOT BILL!!! Damn. What is it with you and killing off the Weasleys?

Well, another fine chapter.
I guess we get to see how Harry fares against Voldie-light. This should be good!

Editorial Notes:
"we wouldn’t be having this conversation would be."
- would we?

fyrecat posted a comment on Saturday 27th December 2008 7:07am

Lots of good action this chapter. too bad about Sanchez. That whole setup just screamed TRAP! The only place without wards? Seemingly untouched? No way Moldyshorts would have let that happen!
Good chapter!

Editorial notes:
"Hopefully, the Goblins will get there transfer system working again soon."
- get their transfer system...
- 'there' indicates a location
- 'their' means 'belonging to them'

fyrecat posted a comment on Saturday 27th December 2008 6:03am

Fun chapter. Inferi Clock Tower Sniping! Haha! Plus, thinning the enemy's numbers is a good idea. Lots of fun movie references too.

Editorial notes:
:...covering your strategic withdraw."
- withdrawal
- http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=withdrawal